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Hardluck Henry's Guide to Cultivation
Chapter 16 : Henry learns about blood sports.

Chapter 16 : Henry learns about blood sports.

Night comes like a blanket of soot over Crucible City. Ki lanterns are lit and the pretty girls and pretty boys come out to prowl looking for cheap booze and even cheaper thrills. Amongst the hustle and bustle of the crowds we find Henry laying on a pile of trash in a dirty alley way.

He had hoped that things would get better when he got to Crucible City. They had looked promising and he was making good money but then his fucking martial uncle had to bend him over and go to town on his coin purse. Henry held the five gold coins in his hands slowly letting the potential energy slowly leech into himself. It was like throwing a water balloon into a fire. He could feel a drop of ki slither into his depleted core, Henry was sure now that he was building a tolerance to the potential energy. That was not good.

He was fully broke now and didn’t have enough ki to bullshit his way out of trouble. His stomach was growling again and he was tired. Henry realized that he had been awake now for two days straight and his only meal had been a bowl of noodles and some booze. Henry needed rest and food as well as some safe shelter to plot. He couldn’t do that while laying in a pile of garbage.

Henry stank of trash and looked like death warmed over. People let him pass like a plague victim as he trudged along to the Rising Star Inn. He knew that at least he could get a free meal and some sleep from that place. Henry did remember the tour guide saying something about a test, but honestly he had no idea what other options he had at this point.

The Rising Star Inn was bustling with activity as Henry approached it. People were milling outside drinking, laughing, and gambling as they stood in a line to enter. Henry looked away from the gamblers and crushed the burgeoning whispers of the gold madness. After his encounter with his dear martial uncle Henry knew that he had to keep the madness in line or else he was likely to do something monumentally stupid again.

Henry lined up with all the other people awaiting their turn to enter the Inn. Standing at the front door was a wizened old crone handing people wooden plaques it looked like and ushering them in one at a time. Everyone in the line was positively vibrating with excitement. Some sharpened their swords while others fussed around with their talismans and elixirs. All kinds of cultivators stood in the line, there were even a good amount of young masters with their attendants.

Henry was too tired and hungry to care about his surroundings as he lined up. The five gold coins that he had absorbed early gave him enough ki for about two minutes worth of power, maybe even less considering his shoddy ki control. He knew that he would have to fight for his place here, it just made sense going by xianxia tropes. He kept his head down trying to avoid meeting the eyes of the young master types. Those bastards were adversarial by nature and he looked like an easy target right now with his goofy ass tourist shirt and disheveled appearance. Henry screamed country bumpkin on his first day in Crucible City.

“Arggg,” a man screams as he is flung out of the doors of The Rising Star Inn. He lands on the ground in a thud and doesn’t move. The crowd seems unbothered by this development. Henry was shocked, goddamn xianxia bastards don’t give a shit if someone probably died. The man twitched a little as if to assuage Henry that he wasn’t dead.

“Bah couldn’t make the cut it looks like,” a man with the most glorious mustache Henry had ever seen said to his companion.

“Every year we get these idiots that think they can just get a free meal off the Rising Star, served him right,” said his companion who had the most glorious eyebrows Henry had ever seen. Big bushy things that looked like they were fat caterpillars on his face.

Henry was feeling less and less sure of his decision to enter here. He was on the last of his ki and energy, did he really want to risk it here. Maybe he could go back to that little girl at the forge and beg for a job or something, she seemed to have taken a liking to him.

No he was no coward, well truthfully he was a little bit of a coward Henry thought to himself. Especially when he had a severe handicap. As Henry wrestled with his self doubt the line crept ever closer to the front. Henry made up his mind and was about to get out of the line valuing his life more than the chance at a hot plate.

“Ahh look at this big lumbering motherfucker, you look like shit boy and you smell worse, hope you can scrap though or else they are gonna have to clean another corpse off the ground,” said the crone at the door.

Henry was about to say something but the crone with inhuman speeds just threw the plaque at Henry, grabbed his collar and threw him through the door.

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“Rip his fucking face off Tian,” someone shouted from the rafters.

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Henry watched as a lithe cultivator in shimmering blue robes, proceeded to rip the face off of her opponent and hoist it to the sky.

Thunderous applause rained down on her followed by a small shower of gold coins, cultivation regents, and even a pair of boxers with little hearts on them.

Henry licked his lips at the sight of the gold coins not sure if this was the gold madness or his own desires.

“Get off the floor young pup and give me the plaque.”

Henry looked up to the most buxom woman he had ever seen in his life. She was muscular with long red hair and a hard scar ridden face accented with big pouty red lips that seemed to have a perpetual smirk. She was beautiful the same way a desert was before you die in it from dehydration. Her skin was bright red and two little horns grew out of her forehead. A forked tail snaked up from behind her and snatched the plaque from Henry.

“You got thirty minutes before your first match tonight, the rules are simple here at the Rising Star. You fight till concession or your opponent is unable to continue. You win and we upgrade your plaque. You can fight as often or as few times as you want but you must fight at least three times your first day. Lose three times and you get the boot.”

Henry stood up and dusted himself off, trying desperately to pay attention to what she was saying as he was mesmerized by her assets.

“If you are alive by the time midnight comes around we assign you a room and amenities according to the grade of your plaque.”

The devil woman, Henry was pretty sure she was a devil woman stood there with her arms crossed lifting up her ample bosom and looked at Henry expectantly.

“Umm so like what are you doing later tonight,” Henry said coyly.

The devil woman just laughed, making her jiggly in all the right places, and turned around proceeding to walk away.

Henry was staring at her butt when she turned around and he blushed.

“I swear I wasn’t looking at your ridiculous dump truck,” Henry quickly lied.

She laughed again and asked “ what’s your name you horny idiot?”

“Henry,” he stammered, answering her.

“Hen Ri? That's an odd name you from the north boy?” she asked while tracing some sigils on his plaque.

“Whatever doesn’t matter really, survive tonight and maybe i'll remember it.”

And with that she walks away, hips swaying even more seductively than before. Heny was almost certain she knew he was watching. He hated that she had to leave but damn did he love to see her go.

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Henry walked around the pit of dirt and sand that was the center of the Rising Star. Staff members were currently peeling the remains of the last fight off the floor and dumping it into a wooden trunk that seemed to eat it. It reminded Henry of a mimic from his dungeon days. They then packed the earth down with ki and bowed before leaving.

On a clear crystal screen two faces appeared with their names and plaque status. There was a very gruff looking man with a thin mustache named Bo who held a silver plaque fighting a dark skinned bald man named Tuyi holding also a silver plaque. Henry wondered if the plaques were like weight classes here. The two fighters entered the ring after a short countdown, bowed slightly at each other and then it was on.

The fight was quick and brutal, the dark skinned man roasted the gruff looking one like a chicken with his kicks. Henry could smell the burnt flesh all the way at the bar. Henry had been trying to see if there was anything that he could afford. Currently he was nursing a glass of water and scowling at the bartender who just smiled pleasantly back at him. Henry loved to watch people and boy were there some interesting people here.

The Rising Star had five levels that directly looked down on the fighting pits. Each level seemed to hold more and more amenities. Henry couldn’t even see what was on the top level. There were private booths starting from the third level and up. Henry assumed that not everyone that was here was here to fight. Henry saw in some of the upper levels young masters with their courtesans, shifty looking business men whispering at each other, and even some people that just screamed money and influence.

It felt a little like a nightclub to Henry, at least if you replace all the music with people screaming and yelling while enjoying some blood sports. Henry’s level of the Rising Star was packed with people. It made sense this was where they put all the newbies afterall. Henry could see some people talking with false bravado and some remain quiet in their corners observing the competition.

Henry just wanted some food. He was starving and after three glasses of water he needed to piss as well. Thankfully the bathrooms were not xianxia bullshit but just a porcelain trough and individual toilets with wooden partitions. Apparently this world had indoor plumbing.

Wiping his wet hands on his grubby shirt Henry left the bathroom just in time to see his picture flash on the crystal screen. These mother fuckers must have taken a close up of his face when he was checking out that devil lady, because they managed to make Henry look like a lecherous idiot. They even spelled his name wrong. Hen Ri, goddamn xianxia bullshit rears its ugly head again. His opponent was an intimidating fella named Ping with a large scar going over one of his eyes. He was smiling and several teeth were missing.

Henry walked over to the fighting pits and leaped in trying his best to look cool while doing it. His opponent Ping rolled more than hopped in. He was a big fat boulder of a man and wore what looked like a dead bear over his shoulders. He also had a big top stupid topknot on his head and it infuriated Henry. It was an irrational hatred Henry knew but he needed some kind of fuel to get him through this fight. Henry was running on fumes at this point.

A number countdown appeared on the crystal screen and Henry guessed that they were supposed to bow at each other. That son of a bitch Ping didn’t bow, instead he threw his bear cloak off his shoulders and bellowed a laugh.

“This great one will break you, then this great one will drink his wine with your skull and wipe his face with your….”

The timer went down to zero and Henry sprinted at Ping as fast as he could. He needed to end this quickly. Henry threw a low kick at Ping's calf making sure to use his shin to impact into Ping's flesh. The big man winced but didn’t budge. Ping was surprisingly graceful as he windmilled and attempted to take Henry’s head off with a backhand. Henry ducked and put one leg inbetween Ping’s, using the cultivators momentum Henry grabbed his lead arm and pulled him with his hip sending the big man sprawling on his back. Henry could not let up so he got into a full mount wrapping his legs around Pings waist. Ping tried to buck Henry off and punch him in the face. Some of the punches landed and they hurt like hell but one punch came just a little too slow. Henry grabbed Ping’s wrist and pivoted his whole body so that his legs were parallel to Ping’s chest. Henry let a sliver of ki trickle through his meridians as he yanked as hard as he could.

SNAP! POP! RIP!

He was holding Ping's arm in his hands as the man was screaming at the top of his lungs.

“I yield, I yield, please have mercy,” Ping sobbed and blubbered as blood spurted out of the stump that was his arm.

Henry felt bad, he hadn’t meant to tear the poor guy's arm off like that. Laying his arm gently on his chest Henry waited for the screen to say he was the winner before he stepped out of the ring. There were no cheers or gold coins thrown at him, just a silence that hung heavy in the air.