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Hardluck Henry's Guide to Cultivation
Chapter 39 : Henry learns about hormones

Chapter 39 : Henry learns about hormones

Henry woke up feeling like he had a full-body muscle cramp. He tried to stretch, but it just made things worse. Deciding the best action was inaction, he just laid there staring at the stone ceiling. He really only had himself to blame for this. He forgot one of the cardinal rules of the crazy xianxia world. Don’t drink random vials of stuff. That should be the rule for every dimension. Henry was a bit of a rule breaker, so now he was bedridden as his wounds reknit themselves.

There was a polite knock on the door.

“May I enter,” a light sparkling voice asked.

“Yeah, go for it. I can’t stop you anyways.”

The door opened, and a vision of white walked in.

She had long, flowing blonde hair and a heart-shaped face. Her blue-green eyes twinkled as if enjoying some private joke. Pouty lips painted red complimented her pale, flawless skin. She wore a dress as white as fresh snow, which draped over her ample curves. Goddamn it, he needed to take care of his libido because this was getting bad, Henry thought to himself.

“Brother Hen Ri, you are up; that’s good. Hopefully, you haven’t forgotten our agreement,” she said as she walked over to his bedside carrying a tray laden with food.

“Holy crap, are you Yi? This is what you look like, damn,” he said in shock.

“I know the white dress is a little much, but I think it looks nice, don't you?” she said, twirling in a circle.

Now, Henry was no pervert, but the way that dress hugged every bit of her ample endowments sent him to boner city. What the fuck why was he thinking like that? Henry felt himself blushing.

She smiled at him and pursed her lips.

“Aww, how cute, Brother Hen Ri, you are blushing. Are you having naughty thoughts about your dear step-sister?”

Henry was flabbergasted. What was this girl doing? She was smoking hot but was also slatted to fight him in a day—or was it today?

“I'm just teasing Brother Hen Ri; now eat up; that elixir needs fuel to finish its job,” she said, setting the tray on the bed before sitting down herself.

Henry was too ravenous to care about etiquette as he tore into his food. Shoving eggs and meats into his mouth was a good excuse not to talk. Henry wanted to hear what Yi had to say. He wasn't stupid; he knew she had a reason for being here.

“You have a healthy appetite that is good; while you eat, you will also listen to my proposal.”

She took out three talismans and threw them into the air. Three energy domes layered themselves over Yi and him, sealing into a dense silvery shield.

“That's better, no prying eyes and ears; Father can be very snoopy,” she said, moving a blonde lock of hair away from her emerald eyes.

The plot thickens, Henry thought slyly as he chewed on a deliciously fried piece of toast. He hated schemes and plots but could sit there and watch Yi talk for days. Good food and a pretty girl, what more could he ask for?

“Level with me, Brother Hen Ri; I know as well as you do that Father was not your sire,” she said flatly.

Henry was about to refute this when she touched his lips.

What was with this girl and touching people on their lips? Her finger was soft and tasted sweet. Damn, this was just getting worst and worst.

“Hush, Father tells me everything, dear Hen Ri; just keep your mouth shut and listen,” she said, scooting a little closer to him. She smelled like lilacs and ozone; it was intoxicating and terrifying.

“I love the North Henry. This is where I was born and raised, but it is so boring. Sure, we get all the trade and merchants from across the sea, but the South is where all the action is.”

She took his hands and looked at him deeply with her verdant green eyes.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

“Let me join you when you leave here.”

Henry didn’t know what to say or how to respond because he had not expected this. He swallowed the food in his mouth before speaking.

“I don't know how that’s going to fly me. Fei can write off as some bastard disciple, but from what I hear, you and your siblings have a reputation in the South.”

The jig was up; honestly, it was a stupid lie anyway. How would these people not know Henry had no blood relations with them?

“We have been able to go to the South on envoy missions, but they have all been so structured that we rarely get to have any fun.”

Yi fills Henry's water glass and pouts. He was not an idiot; this was definitely a honey pot.

“With you fighting in the rookie tournament, allowances will be made. Gram Gram and Father have strong-armed the Martial Alliance to ensure you will be unmolested outside the official fights.

Henry was not aware of this, but honestly, it made sense. As a young Southern master, he would be a prime target for assassinations.

“They want to send some guards, but that would be such a lost opportunity,” she said as she slid closer, her breast pressing up against Henry’s arm.

“What do I get out of this little agreement? You all have taken turns beating the shit out of me; what's to say you won’t stab me in the back,” Henry said weakly, trying to calm himself down.

He was failing miserably.

“We respect power, Brother Hen Ri, and we don’t backstab. We are not savages like those Southerners,” she whispered into his ear and slid one hand onto his chest.

“I still don’t see what I get from all this; usually, in a deal, you offer something I want,” Henry said. She was so damn close to him, and she was so soft. Concentrate, don't agree to shit until you get something, he thought to himself.

Yi kissed his cheek before saying, “ I can offer myself, dear Hen Ri, and if that isn’t enough, I would be willing to part with a treasure from my own personal horde.”

She leaned forward, placing her hands on Henry’s crotch, and pushed her ample buxom at him, allowing an unobstructed look down her plunging neckline.

Fuck this was bad he was going to fold. Henry cursed the body that he was in and its terminal virginity. His hormones were out of control. He closed his eyes, hoping the lack of visual stimuli would help.

“Looks like our time is almost up, Brother Hen Ri; remember my offer and fair warning. I might know your little secret, but my siblings do not; to them, you are still a Southern interloper.”

With that, she gracefully grabbed the food tray and gave him another seductive look before walking to the door.

All the blood from his lower half was slowly redistributing itself back to his brain.

“Oh, and you have about ten minutes before your fight with Er brother Hen Ri, and that boy hates you for some reason, so best be careful.”

She closed the door, leaving Hen Ri alone again with his thoughts and raging boner.

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A faceless servant whisked Henry away from his room to the arena. The other siblings were arrayed around him, with Fei sitting in the center and Yi at his side. She was wearing a sky-blue sundress and smiling at him. She was radiant, and Henry felt himself blushing. She even gave him a little wave, which drew confused looks from her siblings. Fei saw the interaction and just rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Standing there in the center was Er glaring again at him. What was this dude's beef? Henry was confused about what he had done to the spiky-haired cultivator. Before he even had time to say something snippy, he was interrupted.

“ You sicken me, Southern dog; you come in here with strange abilities and seek to sully our name; I will break you and wash this stain from our lineage.”

Henry just had to sigh; great, it was one of these assholes that liked to talk a big game.

Henry felt much better after the rest but was still running on empty ki-wise.

“Hey, pops, I have a problem. I'm kinda running on empty. Is there any way I can get a recharge?”

“I gave you what I gave you, Hen Ri. In real combat, you will not have unlimited resources; you must learn to make do,” Fei said dismissively.

“Father, please, I want to crush this mongrel dog at his best and not let any rumors float around that I pick on the weak.” Er, said, still glaring at Henry.

“Yeah, pops, give me my allowance so I can have a good fight with Brother Er, don't be stingy. I know you are loaded.”

Fei glares at him but relents, sending a pouch with six gold.

“Thanks, Dad; this makes up for all those missed child support payments,” he said sarcastically. From his last fight with San, he had learned that unless he really needed. The coins were his get-out-of-jail-free card.

Er stood there strong and proud, a long silver sword drawn at his side. He looked dashing and heroic, and he smiled derisively at Henry.

“Don’t say that I am anything but fair; now come and let me teach you what a true son of the Northern Sky Breaker is like.”

“You are so cliche, man, and only to be second best, I feel bad for you shown up by a girl,” Henry tilted his head towards Yi’s position.

“For someone that’s second best, you sure like to yap.”

“You dare,” Er screamed, charging straight at him with his sword pointed straight ahead.