Rafferty stared at the ceiling and wondered how she got here.

Things were getting complicated, and Rafferty didn't always do well with complicated. She had put on one of her records, flopped on the bed, and tried to lose herself in the music. Sometimes it helped.

She didn't know if Blaspheme was right. Blaspheme had a right to be upset about how she had handled B Hall's invitation, that was definitely true. All of her hall mates did. She hadn't meant to run off without telling them, and she hadn't meant to forget to tell them she was back. But she had. The rest of it, though? Blaspheme was always sensitive to perceived slights, so it was hard to tell. It's not like Rafferty was out there taking credit for the Zeros thing, or bragging about her Class Four knock. She couldn't control what other people were saying, right?

Rafferty didn't know if Cody and Sheridan felt the same way. Part of her wanted to ask, but so far had been overruled by the part of her that was afraid of the answer. She justified it by saying to herself that they would tell her if they were upset, but she knew that wasn't true. Blaspheme was the only one that would do that.

She didn't know if Katrin was just using her, or controlling her, or whatever the hell it was that Blaspheme said. Rafferty didn't think it was true, certainly didn't want it to be true, and it was exactly the sort of bitchy thing Blaspheme would say just because she was upset. Still, it was true Katrin had shown precisely zero interest in her before she had dragged that big token home. But it was equally true that she and Katrin seemed to be a lot alike, and that they were having fun.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

All she did know was that there was water at the bottom of the ocean. To Rafferty's rather unanalytical mind, this thought was about as close to philosophical truth as one could get. She hoped if she could lie here and listen to the song six or eight times, she could just float on that truth and forget about everything else. For a while, anyway.

And where was Vincent? For weeks, it seemed like every time she turned around, there he was, whether she wanted him to be or not. Now, after all their little moments, and everyone trying to force her to admit to maybe there was something there, not to mention that fact that now, for maybe the first time in her life, she felt like she wanted to talk to someone? Gone. Stuff to do, he had said, days ago, and nothing since. Nuh. Thing.

So things were messed up with J Hall, and she had tried to talk about it, but it had only made things worse.

Things were potentially complicated with Katrin, but she couldn't talk about that, because how do you ask someone if they were only pretending to like you?

And talking to Vincent might help, because at least he would listen to her, but she couldn't do that either, because he wasn't here.

Oh yeah, and Alex with Malice was probably trying to blow everybody up.

And she had nearly injured an important donor with her hair while trying to act sexy.

Rafferty took a deep breath, and tried to focus on the music.

Under the water, carry the water.

Damn.

Blew her mind. Every time.