I am proud to say that sometimes I can assist Phyler and the fairies in their security operations. I guess Phyler thinks that if I’m such a nosy busybody that I want to know everything happening in the Round Woods, I might as well get involved with it, too.
But of course, I do need to know everything. The Round Woods is my area of responsibility. And besides, getting involved in the defense of Zelen is always a lot of fun.
My defensive specialty is communicating with birds, bats, animals and trees. I can telepathically ask if they have sensed any unusual vibrations that could mean trouble. They are surprisingly astute at noticing subtle changes and are very conscientious in relaying information to me.
One of Zelen’s biggest advantages is that would-be criminals always underestimate the capabilities of our tiny yet ferocious fairies. The fairies choose to present themselves as harmless and almost doll-like beings. Intruders forget that fairies can change into any species and size they like.
Criminals often assume that a lightly populated planet like Zelen is an easy mark, with too few residents to defend itself properly. The fairies actually have access to plenty of resources, like warships and an army of magical beings from around the universes. All of these defenders can be at Zelen in an instant.
The same criminal schemes keep coming up again and again throughout the universes. Thieves constantly want to invade planets, including Zelen, to steal things like precious metals, rare plants or even valuable animals. Unbelievably, they sometimes try to grow plants on Zelen that are illegal on their own worlds. The ideas abound, fortunately the proficiency in attainment is lacking.
The fairies often overhear these plans at their evening gatherings. These nightly parties are an effective backup strategy in case criminals manage to evade other spying and monitoring activities. If one information gathering technique fails, it’s good to have other options. Otherwise we would not know about a scheme until, for instance, we felt the vibrations from mining machines below our feet.
The mining thieves usually try smash and grab raids, not full-scale mining operations. Still, unauthorized miners are difficult to evict if they decide to burrow underground. We have helped other worlds remove these foul criminals; those worlds have helped us too. Fortunately, plasma ray guns are effective in destroying anything, if we work on it long enough.
One time the fairies foiled a very strange plot. A group of so-called scientists planned to experiment with technology designed to completely extinguish the sun from a solar system. All of its planets would go cold and dark, never to recover. Possibly the technology wouldn’t have worked, but they were stopped by Zelen’s fairies before they could even try. The scientists are now explaining their actions before a regional court.
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And this last example was a terrifying déjà vu for me.
A large asteroid was detected heading directly for Zelen and the Round Woods. It was almost as large as the meteor that destroyed the dinosaurs on Earth, and would have been very damaging.
No one wanted another high-profile catastrophic event, so our local security council got all councils throughout the quadrant involved. A high-speed neural link was established for quick communication.
And to no one’s surprise, due to the size of the asteroid and how quickly it would reach Zelen, the council members decided that the powerful creator gods were the right group to take care of the problem. They just needed to nudge the asteroid ever so slightly off course. It was a simple matter for them.
Gnomes rarely have contact with any of the creator gods once a planet is done being terraformed, but this was an emergency. I volunteered since I had some past acquaintance with Zeus and the pantheon of gods. I had been courageous enough to tell them how angry I was about Earth and its destruction all those years ago, so perhaps that past bravery would be seen as a positive. I was very anxious about the situation but someone had to do it.
Now there was an unexpected problem. The creator gods were impossible to reach. None of the assembled beings, even council heads, could get past their executive assistants, who functioned as gatekeeping snobs. The creator gods have the same arrogant, power-wielding sycophants as any other high-status group who enjoys showing off power by restricting access. The assistants were like a brick wall between us and the gods.
In desperation, I finally transported unexpectedly and appeared in front of the creator gods during one of their regular meetings. I refused to leave until I showed them a holographic projection of what would happen if no action was taken.
I knew I risked their wrath and was sure I’d be in their bad graces for millennia after that audacious stunt. But I figured they owed some leeway for almost wiping me out when that asteroid hit Earth.
Finally Zeus waved his hand and the asteroid deflection was done. No other planets would be affected, and the asteroid would eventually disintegrate harmlessly in a faraway sun.
I heaved a sigh of relief and babbled my profound thanks until Zeus pushed me to leave the room. And when I say pushed, he mentally pushed me until I left. Being psychically dragged out would have been the next step.
The entire quadrant of our universe celebrated that evening. There were many heroes to thank for getting this important task completed.
Surprisingly, I didn’t get into trouble at all with the creator gods, just with the fragile egos of their assistants. Maybe Zeus felt the gods owed me? I certainly felt they did.
No doubt Zeus felt all was even and they had repaid me for the mental anguish on Earth past. I don’t think we’re close to even yet, but I’ll take what I can get.