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Chapter 25: Here be dragons

Out in the vast unknown hinterlands of the universe, you can still find savage dragons living as they did back in the olden days: quarreling with their neighboring dragons, fighting over hoards of gold, pillaging and destroying towns, killing townsfolk, and stealing ever more gold. Dragons have not changed at all in these isolated and primitive worlds.

However, dragons have changed a lot in modern and enlightened worlds.

But before I get into that story, let me tell you the myth of how dragons first came to be created. Their ancestry is just as old as the universe, and just as fascinating.

The story of dragons starts with a sliver of primordial flame breaking free from the fiery birth of the very first star. That burning ember tumbled across the newly created, empty universe. Finding nothing to impede its way, it kept dancing across the expanding cosmos. The burning spiral twirled faster and faster.

The universe was generating a life force of its own as it grew. The twisting blur of wayward cosmic flame combined with the empty universe’s new and potent vitality. The cataclysm caused by their explosive connection resulted in the birth of the very first dragons.

The dragons opened their eyes, and seeing fire in and around and of themselves, turned that first realization of hot yellow flame into an inborn quest for gold. In their minds, gold was merely a terrestrial form of that first twisting flame.

Dragons will never stop seeking to experience that flame again, hence their need to heap the essence of fire all around themselves. Their quest for fire takes the form of a large pile of bright and shiny gold. All dragons try to accumulate their own prized golden hoards, even if they don’t understand why they do it.

Have you ever seen an image of a Chinese dragon from planet Earth? Real dragons look surprisingly similar to those traditional images, being long and thin with whiskers and a scaly body. They show dark against a blue sky, but are actually gold colored and sometimes pulse with rapidly changing, bright colors. The colors become very intense when emotions are aroused.

In olden days, when residents of the universes were less knowledgeable than now, dragons were thought to be gods. In fact, dragons took advantage of this and insisted on being treated like gods.

All residents of the cosmos did bow down to dragons as gods. Both mortal and immortal beings were terrified and mesmerized by dragons. After all, the winged reptiles in the sky were fearsome and had laid waste to many cities in their quest to steal stores of gold.

However, things are different these days. Humanoid civilizations do not so easily believe in gods anymore. It takes more than some fire breathing and fancy flying to impress modern beings. They understand dragon capabilities, but just as importantly, they understand dragon limitations. New modern fighting capabilities mean that humanoids can easily defend against the fierce raiders from the skies.

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From the dragons’ point of view, they lived well in olden days. They didn’t really mind being shot at with wooden arrows and didn’t even mind getting hit where their armor was weak. That was the price to pay if a dragon got careless with its defenses. However, dragons became most unhappy in these modern times. They hated getting knocked out of the skies with giant electric pulses. They hated the humiliation of writhing in pain on the ground, then being hauled off to lengthy confinements. And even worse, their quests for gold were no longer profitable at all.

Naked aggression was not their best choice any longer. So, they had to brainstorm some new ideas.

Adaptability became the key to modern dragons’ survival. They cannot change their innate craving for gold but have learned to obtain gold in ways other than pillaging terrified villagers. These days, there are new and profitable traditions. Since dragons are incredibly smart and versatile, they have come up with new ways to make money. These methods involve starting family businesses completely separate from their past looting and pillaging.

By the way, you might be surprised to realize that the first modern profession dragons had to master was public relations. Yes, it’s true. That actually makes sense, if you think about it. No one believed that dragons were serious when they announced the decision to go legit. It took much nonviolent persuading from the dragons over many years for the first few humanoid worlds to allow dragons on their territories. There was shock all around the universe when the dragons kept their promises to live quietly and peacefully.

Next the dragons moved into the professions they were really interested in taking on. There were many jobs that took advantage of the skills they already possessed.

The most popular businesses closely aligned with dragons’ warlike, predatory nature, but focused on protecting instead of destroying. Dragons have a long history of anticipating and destroying adversaries, so they were naturals in an air defense role. Traditionally fierce dragons now specialize in airborne planetary protection, leading defenses against hostile intruders.

Dragons can see in both ultraviolet and infrared light spectrums, and have keen hearing, quick reflexes, and far-reaching psychic powers. These abilities make them valuable in quickly evaluating trespassers. Dragons can slip from serene to terrifying in an instant, so they rarely have to do more than turn their slitted yellow eyes in the direction of a would-be trespasser for that life form to flee at top speed.

After an enjoyable midair chase, dragons can incinerate their enemies quite satisfactorily, if they choose, just by using the flames emanating from their mouths.

Some dragons who enjoy outside work have taken to searching for wildlife poachers. A well-placed smack of a tail will easily knock a poacher unconscious so it can be picked up by sharp claws and removed to the custody of police forces. The dragons enjoy practicing these precision flying skills.

Not every dragon clan still has the flying skills to intimidate enemies. Therefore, some dragons have come up with other profitable yet equally enjoyable business ideas. Their resourcefulness at surviving modern worlds never seems to end.