"There are downsides to everything; there are unintended consequences to everything."

~Steve Jobs

POV TAD

It was an absolutely unbelievable thing. Meetings were still the bane of my life. And meetings about meetings were the absolute worst. Yet here I was. Having a meeting in a derelict city in a fantastic unworldly jungle. With sapient tiger otters even. All with sharp teeth and claws and empathetic senses which stripped back any obfuscation I might try to wing through.

And it was a meeting which had really quite quickly progressed into discussing having another meeting. Curse it all.

I took a deep breath. Breathe Tad. Meetings wouldn’t kill me. Mostly that was true. An unending meeting probably would though.

We were doing so much better than I had hoped. I paused to just check and confirm that the blasted royal pronouns weren’t glitching up my wees and eyes. And it looked like I wasn’t in full on royal mode. My eyes were still singular. This was good. I disliked the formal wees and ours. It sounded too poncy and proper and just totally not me.

But we were doing well. And a large part came down to Ssrah’s new form. She absolutely dominated the other Ottos. They were completely enraptured. She was still an Otto. She was just more. And she was what they would be. They were completely sold on moving on from their [Monster] status. It was perhaps the easiest take-over in the history of take-overs ever.

I had expected that I would need to do a hard sell of all the benefits I offered. This was totally eclipsed by Ssrah just standing on two feet. She had received a Title. She was a [Forerunner]. She had gone before and proved the way. And the rest of the Ottos were fully in behind her. So Ssrah was the one chairing the meeting. I was really just part of the backdrop. One of her entourage. It was nice. She was doing all the heavy lifting.

I nodded and hemmed and harred at the appropriate places. Mostly. I was slightly distracted.

For I too had received some new Titles. The first was one which was most strange. The System, in its infinite wisdom, had labelled me an ARSE.

And while on the whole I had no objection to being called any number of names, it was somewhat disconcerting to be formally labelled with such a demeaning appellation. Rather than a honourific it was a horrorific. I cringed each time I reread the Title. This must be unintentional. For it was surely too juvenile for the System to have deliberately denigrated its own agents. I pulled up the notification again.

CONGRATULATIONS

You have been conferred with the Advanced System Title ARSE:

“I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams”

~The Eleventh Doctor

ACCEPT DECLINE

Hmmm. I could probably flip my [BS Coin] again. I could double down on my arseness. That would be exceptionally cheeky. I liked it. There was no question about me being too juvenile. No question at all.

I expanded the description. Was this a reward worth trying to boost? I had no idea.

Advanced Reconnaissance System Entity

‘The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: they don’t alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views” ~4th Doctor

Your achievements in discovery have been recognised.

As a standard practice this role is normally filled by Entities who have exceeded the S+ Tier.

However, you have fulfilled the primary mandate of such Entities in locating a new sapient species suitable for uplift.

You are an extreme outlier by 9999 Levels. Outstanding effort.

Would you like to accept this Title at this time?

YES NO

Hmmm. Some solid TimeLord references there. Perhaps Nige was right after all. I tried to expand the Title effects. Aha, now we were cooking with gas.

Title Effects:

Title Effect 1: Regeneration.

A biological ability granted to specific System Entities who perform crucial services within and/or without the System. Allows the Bearer of this Title to fully [Regenerate] after instances which would generally result in death and/or dissolution.

Warning:

Repeated uses of this [Effect] will reduce efficacy if insufficient time between usages is allowed. Minimum recommended time to full recharge is [10 System Years].

Title Effect 2: Obscurification.

Top S+ Tier concealment ability able to spoof even the most advanced [Inspect]. Allows the bearer to refine/redefine their appearance and/or personality and rebalance their Stat distribution.

Warning:

Unforeseen and unexpected side effects are common where used partially.

Should not be used to adjust Stats except in conjunction with [Title Effect 1].

Limited applications of this ability are recommended.

Use no more than once every 6 months minimum when adjusting appearance and personality.

More frequent implementation has been shown to cause Stat instability and fragmented personalities.

Well. These effects certainly came with a lot of warnings. This was most unusual. My experience with System notifications to date had been rather sparse on the warning side of things. And these were pretty overpowered [Effects] too. They were obviously tailored to the highly Stat’d and highly Skilled Entities who normally undertook this task for the System. I reread the initial description. Yes Tier S+. And that must kick in at Level 10,000 seeing I was still Level 1. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how strong and capable the normal recipients of this Title must be.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

And I had stumbled into it.

I felt mighty inadequate. Surely this was some sort of a joke. There was no way I had earnt this. I mean surely the System had some way of monitoring what was happening within its own Planes and Pylons? And that quote. I knew I was not powerful. But the System calling me stupid was a bit on the nose. I was not the one who had overlooked what was happening right under my nose, so to speak. I wasn’t the stupid one. I had altered no facts.

Oh. But perhaps I had. The fact was Ssrah was a [Monster]. I had challenged this. I had refused to accept the System’s designation and as a result I had changed the facts. Hmmm. Was this because I was stupid. It certainly wasn’t because I was powerful. It was because I knew I was right.

I had, in fact, earned this. I had sponsored Ssrah. I had named her Species and identified them as sapient. There was no disputing this. I had backed her. I had encouraged her and supported her. I knew she was Sapient. It was as obvious as the nose on my face that she was not a [Monster]. That she could be a [Participant].

I felt like bopping the System on the nose. Hmmm. I was getting hung up on noses. I needed to move on.

I opened up the other Reward notification.

CONGRATULATIONS

You have been nominated for the Successful Sponsor Award:

“Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers, then we know who owns them”

~Robin Williams

ACCEPT DECLINE

That sounded like an eminently sensible suggestion. I opened up the description and effects.

Successful Sponsor

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much” ~Helen Keller

Your belief, risk and investment has been vindicated.

Your [Sponsee] has passed the System evaluation and is a worthy candidate to volunteer as a System [Participant].

You have inextricably linked your [Reputation] and your [Species] to that of your [Sponsee] and her [Species]

Award Effect 1.

Your personal [Reputation] with [Otto Sapiens] is enhanced by a factor of three.

Award Effect 2.

Your [Species] Reputation with [Otto Sapiens] is enhanced by a factor of two.

Award Effect 3.

Otto Sapiens are a declared [Client Race] of the Human Polity. 15% of all their System Achievement Points [SAP] will bolster the Humanese Polity’s reputation.

Award Effect 4.

The [Humanese Polity] is a declared [Patron] of the [Otto Sapien Race]. A 25% discount to all trade tariffs in favour of the [OSR] is established.

Would you like to accept this Award at this time?

YES NO

This was good. More good long term rather than short term. But even short term it was good as it increased my own personal [Reputation]. And I needed this right now. Especially as I was just me here. One [Human] and thousands upon thousands of [Otto Sapiens].

I would flip the [BS Coin] on this. I needed to [Advanced Meditate] and see if I could discern which way to call. I couldn’t rush this as getting it wrong would push out the cool down period to 96 hours.

Meantime I accepted the Arse Title.

And I returned my attention to the meeting. I had heard my name.

Oh, Ssrah was requesting the males. I was happy to train up both males and females but it seemed that there were different procedures to arrange this.

Sophrona was amenable. She offered three Level 3 males without hesitation.

Hmmm. Should I speak up. Three was nowhere near enough to make a difference. Before I could Ssrah replied.

~Disrespect!~Sovereign~Leader.~

“She is Sovereign. The number of males is a reflection on her power and authority. She is [Ruler] over us.”

Sophrona was somewhat ~Apologetic.~

~Query~Acceptable number?~

I answered before Ssrah, ~All.~ I was confident I could make the maximum impact by claiming all the lazy layabouts and giving them something more to live for than pampered ornaments.

Soph looked at me ~doubtfully~.

~Very young Sovereign.~ She turned to Ssrah.

~Her beard is still patchy.~She is too young for more than three, yes?~

But Ssrah was ~confident.~

~She is lusty. She will train them good.~

Ohho, some alarm bells were going off. Her emote for ‘train’ was quite different from mine.

I had no intention of ‘riding’ them. They were sapient beings not beasts of burden or a means of transportation. I couldn’t believe they treated them so badly. Like second class citizens.

“There will be no second class citizens in Oreol.”

~Confusion.~

“All are equal. Male and female. Otto and Human.”

This had the feeling of a pronouncement. Our first declaration from the throne.

~Agreement.~

~Happy ideas.~

Well that was good too. I had expected more resistance. I was upending their entrenched way of life. I had thought there would be a lot more resistance.

The [Matriarch] had already pushed the three Level 3 males over to our side of the table. They didn’t even have names. That was disgraceful.

One of the first things I would do is name them. But I would be more careful and thoughtful about it seeing how my names for the kiddos had stuck.

I gestured for them to join us. It was a start. I was not satisfied though. I would boost them all.

~Very lusty.~

~Approval.~

~Strong leader.~

~Much stamina.~

~Not much sleep time.~

I frowned. I was having trouble following these rapid fire emotes between the [Matriarch] and Ssrah and the twins.

And I had missed the outcome of the previous discussion too. The one about meeting the other [Clan Leaders]. This was just the meeting to discuss setting up the next meeting after all.

Oh. That had been settled. Messages had been sent already. Three days' time we could expect the [Clan heads] to meet by the [Southern Deathstone]. That was this one.

Three days. I could train up more than the three males in that time. I was not happy being so restricted. No, I needed all the Level 1 and 2’s as well. Perhaps even the Level 0s?

Sarah returned to the negotiation table.

I looked at Dozer and Scrabble. They would help me wouldn’t they.

~Greedy Sovereign.~

~Takes all.~

“No, you can help. Together we can do so much.”

~Funny Auntie.~

~Don’t share [Husbands].~

What?

I blinked. Husbands? I blinked again. I wasn’t going to share their [Husbands]. What a silly idea. We were different species and I was a…

Oh. Bother.

Ummm.

I was lost for words. Even my brain was blank.

This was a good thing. For the meeting wrapped up with Ssrah arranging for the rest of the unattached males to be brought over and introduced over the next couple of days.

What had I done?

Dozer and Scrabble were very happy for me. They would be my [Bridesmaids].

~Come.~

~Need some good food.~

~And lots of energy.~

Oh no!

My eyes were wide. I was in so much trouble. How would I talk/emote my way out of this?’

This was going to be a real pain in the…

I stopped before I could complete my thought. It was too close for comfort.

My new [Title] suddenly had a whole new meaning.

I felt like having a cry.

~Cheer up Auntie.~

~You will do fine.~

~Normal to feel nervous first time.~

I tuned them out.

Hmmm. How did this [Regeneration] Perk work? I might need it sooner rather than later.