POV - TAD
I had gathered from Nige’s wild gyrations that an Epic Skill was a little bit unexpected to say the least. His idea of dancing was mildly disturbing and my eyes were still smarting from the sudden flares of energy he randomly released. Each to his own and all. I couldn’t help but be infected by his rapture of anticipation in ascending a tier. Good on him.
Time for a bit more cogitations. Some mindfulness meditation. Triggering my perk I focused on what I knew of cultivation.
[Basic Cultivation] was intriguing. I actually was more than a bit unsure what it involved. It was a Soul Skill that was clear, but could it also impact my other attributes? I had a very vague concept of it through the odd xianxia novels I had read, but generally I had found them tedious, full of arrogant posturing and often with simplistic growth solely based on self aggrandisement and mindless violence. The fact that I had found none of these types of novels in the System Library was telling in the extreme. Oh, hang on, there had been one. 'Watch out Rooster!' That wasn't quite the title I remembered. Close but, hmmmm... translation issue I suppose. But it was a good book. It had captured the essence of Cultivation and there was none of that tedious drivel. In fact it was the direct opposite. I wanted to read it again. In fact I hope there is another volume.
I was somewhat familiar with the concept of Chi or Qi. I was however totally clueless about the differences between the two or if indeed that there were any. In fact to be honest neither really resonated with me to any great degree. I mean, I liked the concept of life energy or vital energy and whatnot. But I somehow felt a disconnect. It was just all too theoretical and somehow wishful rather than anything real.
However, when I considered the System’s Essence I felt a thrill. It was distinct from both Mind and Body in that it was not Essence Points. Just Essence. Non divisible, continuous Essence. That was in me and through me and all me. I paused, me, me, me. Was I sounding like an Arrogant Young Master? Nah. This was just my inner exploration of myself and my soul. Of course it would be all about me. It would be a worry if my inner self was founded on something that wasn’t me and mine.
Having reassured myself that I was still me on a fundamental level I returned my meditations to Essence. What did I understand Essence to be? I took a spiritual step back from the question and reframed it. Rather than questioning what Essence was, I asked myself; ‘What do I consider essential? What is indispensable? What can I simply not do without?’ This was helpful. I doubled down. ‘What is absolutely intrinsic and fundamental, if I drill down enough? What is at the core of everything, which if it wasn’t there, then nothing would be there?’ Whoa. Getting deep there Tad. But making progress. This was good.
Some wise dude said “Man know thyself.” And this was deep philosophy. I got tingling in my spine. Yeah, definitely not an invertebrate. How well did I know myself? In the past I had shied away from such demanding questions. Far easier to fill my life up with busyness, entertainment and leisure. In fact the pursuit of leisure was surprisingly hard work. Especially when you're sick. But it meant I didn’t need to face those difficult questions so all good. Who was I? Where had I come from? Where was I going? Nah too hard. Life was already hard. A poked body. In and out of hospital like a yoyo. No way did I want to poke my soul as well. Better off to leave sleeping dogs lie. But now? Now that bear was fully poked. No turning back now.
And I didn’t want to. It was liberating delving into my inner self, my motivations, my fears. My anticipation. My hopes, my aspirations. What was essential in all these? There lay the heart of the matter. This was my essence. This was me. I stared at my soul.
It was tiny.
And I crashed down to earth.
Well no. Not to earth. I needed to expand my lexicon. I crashed back down to the Library. Not quite so evocative of my emotions. I had so far to go. But a journey begins with but a single step. And I had already stepped it. I was on my way.
I was grinning again. This was super exciting.
I returned my attention to considering cultivation and the text the System had provided.
Something Bruce Lee had said had already resonated with me. What was it again? Ahh yes. ‘The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.’ This was of course the exact opposite of what the world had thrown at me. Complexity layered on complexity in an ever increasing spasm of intricacy. I needed to pare it all back. To uncover what was truly critical, what was truly essential. What was of Essence. Simple Essence, simply me.
I could feel the core of my Soul starting to vibrate. Somehow, I was infusing it. Exciting it. Hmmmm… Was my Soul an it? I am a he. Why was my soul an it? I got a bit of a wobble on. This was not going to be straight forward was it?
I tried to focus on my essential me. Was my masculinity part of my essential being? Or was my Soul agender? Neither male nor female. Simply me. Yes that resonated. I was me. And I was still me in the depths of my Soul without my Body. I was secure in my maleness. But it was not definitive of what made me, me. My man bits were intrinsic to my Body. Not my Soul. I didn’t know whether I felt liberated or not. It certainly wasn’t where I expected my meditations to lead me.
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
But what the hey! I found myself significantly more relaxed as I returned to the question again. What was Cultivation. And how did you cultivate? Of course I probably should just trigger the Skill and see what happens. Meh. That's for kids. I wanted to understand it. To own it. Not just ride on the back of it. I wanted to make it mine. Mine, all mine.
Glitchit! I was giving myself AYM vibes again. And I had discovered a System swear word. Funny.
I re-centred myself. What did Master Bruce Lee say?
‘One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease.’
At first glance this was completely counterintuitive. I wanted to accumulate Stats. And achievements. And money. Yes, lots of money. So I could buy stuff. Yes, lots of stuff. Stuff to make me stronger, to protect me, to make my life more comfortable. And I had to eliminate? This could be painful. I felt a little teary. Nooo, please. I want it both ways. I frowned, why can’t I have it both ways. This was not on.
And I hit my first choke point. What!! I hadn’t even started. This was hard. This isn’t how it's supposed to work. It's supposed to get easier, not harder. I railed at the System.
Then I paused again. Just because it was hard; I was going to give up? No! I stopped to review all that had happened in the last day and a bit. I had come so far. And it was exciting. Unlocking Skills, growing my attributes, meeting new people, discovering cool things. Hard. Smhmard. I would double down and double down again.
I honed my focus. I was more than my Stats. I was more than my accolades. I didn’t need them to be me. I was me with or without them. I was me no matter what or who happened to me. Despite the inevitable trolls, the half starers, the haters and the entire rest of the System. I. Was. Me.
Perhaps this was getting to where Bruce was going. I wasn’t going to let the expectations, the opposition or any of the barriers and hurdles of life build up and strangle me. I would eliminate them. And with extreme prejudice. I was juggernautical.
But not arrogant. No. Not arrogant. Argh! I was sounding arrogant again wasn’t I? I could see the challenges that a Young Master faces. Even within my own psyche I was constantly having to pull myself up. Not that I was a Young Master of course. I would focus on just being me. Perhaps this was part of the daily decrease that the Dragon advocated? Yes, resonation! Arrogance was just as much a hurdle to be overcome as the external oppositions. Even within my own Soul I needed to eliminate that which hindered me. Or I would choke and fizzle out. My advancement swamped by mine own hubris.
My perk ended and I felt my time perception stretch out and align with the rest of the System.
And the System pinged me with a couple of dings.
Oh goody, more notification boxes to open.
Before I could do so Nige drew my attention. He was looking significantly less chipper.
“Oh. That’s too bad. Sounds serious though. Are you okay?”
He brightened up considerably. Literally.
And with a twirl he was gone.
Just then Dom woke up. “Was that your Wisp going?” Rubbing his eyes and stretching mightily.
“Yes.”
“Is it coming back? I like wisps. We should go look for another one.”
“Yes, he’s coming back. He just has to run a short errand.”
It occurred to me that Dom was just sort of hanging out with me. He must be bored out of his tree. Perhaps we should group up and actually do something.
“Hey Dom. Did you want to like, formally group up for a bit? Not forever after. Just a sort of trial run. See how it goes an all. You are more than a few levels ahead of me so it might really gimp the xp returns. We’ll have to see how it works out.”
“Good idea Tad.” Before I could work out how to invite him. He flicked me an invite. Ahhh… that makes him the party leader. I didn’t know if I liked that but it would be churlish to make an issue of it right now. I accepted the invite.
[Ding]
No doubt a notification about joining my first group. however, I decided to open the previous [ding] boxes first.
Waahoo! SPI all the way. I opened the second notification
ARRGGHHH!
Perhaps I should level up now? The Library was pretty safe wasn’t it?
Just then I saw the tall willowy form of the schoolmarm librarian direct two figures towards our alcove. What was this?