POV - TAD
I stared blankly at the wall. My new surname suddenly much more fitting. I was totally unprepared for the feelings and emotions that swept through me. I had never expected to outlive anyone in my family. I was the sickly one. Not the survivor. I was numb.
I was alone.
My enthusiasm for seizing the opportunity that the System had presented me with; the chance to start over without the debilitating lethargy of a noncooperative body, evaporated. I simply needed time to process. Time to grieve.
To mourn.
…
I lost track of the time. What was time to me anyway. Without my family there, who was I? They had always been there. They were an immutable part of my life. Except now they weren't. All the change that the System had brought paled into insignificance compared to this revelation. I was on my own. They were gone.
…
Yet I refuse to simply sit here and feel sorry for myself. To mar all my memories of my family by only focusing on the suddenness, the complete surprise of their passing. My devastating feeling of loss. This still did not even come close to balancing out the investment of love and affection they had lavished on me my entire life. Even my little sister… The unfairness of it all. Yes I was alone. But I carried them with me. They were intrinsic to who I was. It would be a complete betrayal to allow my grief to change me. I will continue. I am me. I will continue to be me in their memory. I would always carry them with me.
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A System notification drew my attention.
”OkNige” I announced. “mrddytagitgoen.”
He looked at me blankly for an inordinately long time. I was getting really good at reading into his various looks and then I realised I had subconsciously slipped into accelerated Gallfreudian time. He hadn’t understood my garble.
I consciously deactivated my perk and repeated myself.
“Okay Nige, I’m ready to get going.”
“Where to from here?”
He perked up
And I interrupted him already “a bathroom. I need to freshen up and um, take care of things.”
Then he stopped me just as we were leaving.
Oh, I hadn't noticed these previously. I quickly slipped them on and tied the straps off. That was a lot better.
As we left my room I asked “So is HON Honour?”
And, “Where is everyone?” I did not feel like being alone.