POV - [WISP]

We accelerated steeply straight up through time and space. This was so much better than teleportation. I absolutely loved this part of the job. Teleportation was a sort of popping feeling. One second here, next second there. Quite disturbing when you stopped to think about it with a pop being so final and all. Probably best not to dwell on the how-it-actually-works in fact. It works, it always works and no one really is concerned about it not working because it always has. Of course there is the odd rumour that pops up (oops, pun totally not intended) but this was always someone else who no one really knows directly. Anyways, all other forms of transportation are magnitudes more hazardous. Heh, my meandering thoughts make me consider the dangers of my current mode of transportation. This certainly was way more dangerous. Zipping not only through space but also through time. The only way we were going to be able to process the 18.4 billion, no hang on, 18.1 billion umans, was by compressing their subjective time so that relative to normal time only a miniscule amount passed.

I wasn’t sure of the exact ratio but each tutorial run was supposed to take six months subjective, and my last three had all taken about nine months. This had thrown out my schedule by a total of 9 minutes so that means approximately a month a minute. Hey, pretty good calculatory skills there. I paused to give myself some much needed encouragement. That’s not so bad actually. I was feeling pretty pressured with the way the previous runs had stretched out but I had a rest period up soon after this one and docking 9 minutes off my mandatory days off was nothing.

My attention returned to our passage through the space/time continuum. The compression produced these absolutely beautiful effects with light. Novas and comets smushing together. Myriads of shooting stars wheeling in grand and dramatic movements. Over there was a black hole acting as a great cosmic counterbalance. The range of colours was incredible and always different.

I turned to my charge, whizzing alongside me, his backwards cape streaming out either side behind him. That looked cold but heh, he wasn’t complaining. His mouth was open in wonder as he took in the phenomenal sights.

I couldn’t help but crow. I explained.

He drooled in response.

Say what? I know this is amazing but I had expected more of a reaction, or at least a more cognizant one than this. I turned my full attention to him. His eyes were extremely dilated and his breathing very slow and regular. I couldn’t follow all his eye movements at all; they were so rapid and somewhat random. This was weird. He seemed totally different to… just 22.5 seconds ago? I couldn’t work out such a massive change. It was like he was a different being. The initial uplift should have weeded out and rectified all personality disorders. What was going on? Now he had his primary minor digit up his olfactory organ orifice. This is not right!

Another 20 odd seconds subjective time and we arrived.

<<>>

<>

< Appellation>>

I turned to my strangely passive uman. There was no response as he stood swaying slightly in the expansive dolmen court. I tried again More silence. Whatever happened to the confident and assertive being I originally greeted. This was worse than all the previous times already. At least the other participants had understood this basic question and responded reasonably swiftly with only slight prompting.

Maybe some further clarification would help.

No meaningful response.

I trailed off.

The uman stirred. “Totally Awesome Dude!” he breathed as a bare whisper.

I watched him expectantly…

…

Two hours later the name interface shut down.

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I had never had this happen before. With some trepidation I opened up my charge’s newly generated character sheet.

>NAME:

Totally Awesome Dude

[Blank]

>SPECIES:

>TIER:

Human

H

>XP:

>EXP:

0

0/0

>LVL:

0

>CON:

0HP

[Expand?]

>WIS:

0MP

[Expand?]

>KAR:

0E

[Expand?]

>LUC:

1

>SKILLS:

None

>PATHS:

None

>PERKS:

None

>TITLES:

None

>AWARDS:

None

Okay. That looked pretty standard apart from the blank last name. It only just occurred to me that perhaps he meant Dude to be his last name. Oh well. Done now. Bit of a mouthful but that’s what he chose. Maybe I’ll call him Tots for short.

Okay, next on the agenda is introducing myself.

POV - [TOTALLY AWESOME DUDE]

This was the best dream ever! It was so realistic. I could feel the air on my skin, the gown fluttering gently past my bare legs. The speed is impressive. I’m loving this space bubble travel. Darn it! I forgot my trousers again. I thought I had grown past those juvenile pantless dreams. Well it certainly isn’t evoking the same horror and cringing embarrassment that it used too so I’d take the win.

I have this neat little dream guide. Twinkling merrily away. Babbling like a cheerful brook even. You cute little thing. Where are you taking us? I wondered. Pretty cool light show. Reminded me of some-what of the laser / fireworks shows that were put on to a grand symphony. Yeah we’re missing some sounds here bud. You know… music? Bit of bass with some riffs to really offset these sparklies.

And we stopped.

Somewhere. It’s pretty cool.

A massive Stonehenge type structure surrounding us. It’s difficult to get a handle on the scale but they seem realllly…… …big.

Heh. The glowy ball thingee is pulsing at me. Sorry mate, the noggins’ not computing that well at the mo. I can hear you talking at me but not what you're saying. Just chill, go with the flow bro.

<…warble warble gurgly gurk… whadeva you like.>

Do I like it? Man I love it… this is like “totally awesome dude!” It is so real I don’t want to wake up and go back to my decidedly below average life. I stand there and take it all in. For some reason I can’t get my feet to work. Be neat to turn round Nige. I will myself to move but my dream self is a lazy slob.

Time sort of morphs around me. The dreamscape is just sooo cooool! Fuzzily fuzz fuzz oh he’s talking at me again. Or maybe he’s a she. I mean she’s a her. Or wait maybe glowy balls of light might not be hes or shes. Maybe they’re neither or …both. <…buzz, fuzz foil an fubble?> Yeah, that’s it - they blob out and split, they’re ……something… Forgot the word but he’s… not male and normale. <…gabble gab gab want to call me…> …female, not notmale you silly duff. I laugh at myself. <…name?> Oh, it’s asking my name.

I’m “Nige” -very pleased to meet you. Always pays to be polite to your dream guides I always say.

Ahhh…ha! there’s that booger. It’s trapped now. Mine, you’re all mine. I cackle to myself, absurdly pleased with my capture.

POV - [WISP]

Arrggghhh. This was totally infuriating. Eighteen hours and my first support ticket ever later and Total Noob Dude still hasn’t acknowledged me or accepted my mentorship. What can I do?

I introduced myself til I was starting to gutter out. He’s standing there with a gormless half smile. Digging away at his central facial protuberance. Maybe his brain‘s itchy? Beats me anyway.

I try again.

What a mouthful. I needed to have words with our script generators.

I was almost shouting. My whole being is pulsing. I need to calm down. This isn’t helping.

“Nige” he articulates remarkably clearly.

Finally! I can live with that.

Moving on at last.