“Your imperial majesty! I, Archbishop Leo, requests an audience!”
And with that, I paused the video file.
This was the message I had on my information hub this morning, when I went to check on my goddess.
As for how that corrupted Archbishop found out that I linked my crystal hub to that of my information chief, and send it there to reach me...I truly wonder. To be honest, it’s not that hard to figure out since it’s pretty practical...but yeah.
“Oh, right, there’s still more...”
“I heard that you fired your right hand of justice, is that correct, your imperial majesty? Although it is a pity to relief someone of Sire Stefan’s capabilities. In fact, I feel pity for you as well. After all, he managed to do the unthinkable! He set a an explosive within your Crystal device that activates two minutes after opening any sort of video file.”
Haha, like hell that’s true. I got this crystal hub of mine on me at all times.
Who knows if someone finds my Kai Collection would do after all...
“Oh...what? O-oh, alright. It seems that what I just said was incorrect, your imperial majesty. It seems that Sire Stefan actually set the explosive onto the other end of that device. Of course, he implied that he did all of that after he copied everything from it...Oh my, look at it, it’s been a minute and fifty seconds...”
Eh?
The crystal turned dim!
“Wait a second...if he copied off everything and then destroyed the crystal...be it spies, our hidden forces locations and numbers...and MY KAI COLLECTION!”
He got my Kai collection, my Kai collection, MY KAI COLLECTION!!!!
I stormed out of my chambers, yelling, “Stewart! Get me Archbishop Leo right this instant! Let him meet me in my audience room!!”
I quickly took off to the audience room after changing.
My audience chamber is the proudest room in the whole continent, consisting of sixteen opposing pillars made of gold with a tint of the highest quality of crystals, giving the golden pillars a hint of crimson. Of course, the pillars themselves exclude an imposing presence, making sure that all within the room behave in the presence of their masters.
On each wall leading to the grand throne that was made of swo-- ...No that’s not it, glas-- ...Shit, that’s not it either... [A/N: The first one is easy to get since the series is so popular...but the second?]
To be honest, we did have a crystal throne a few hundred years ago, but it was stolen by god knows who. Now, we only have a normal throne that isn’t unique and impractical at all.
Remind me later to get some sculptor to sculptor me a throne.
Why a sculptor? Well, I’m not planning on sitting on it, now do I? Don’t you realize the fashion which exists within this world of impractical, cool looking thrones?
So where was I? Oh, right, the walls. On the walls hang various pieces of paintings, painted by master painters of every emperor to date. Starting for the first, all over to the one hundred and ninth, my grandfather. My own painting would be hung after I leave the throne...this is the kind of tradition that goes through the royal family.
As soon as I sat on the normal, red colored--it’s color is red, matching with the walls which are also red. Surprisingly enough, the ground are pure white--The large doors swung open with a bang! as a short, middle aged man entered.
Ugh, this guy is the Archbishop Leo.
“Greetings, your imperial majesty.”
As expected from the corrupted church. This Archbishop simply did not kneel before his ruler.
“Hmph. I request that you return all the things that you’ve stolen.”
These arse sniffers are a real pain to deal with. If I made that guy disappear, then they’ll point their fingers at me. If I simply fire the guy, he will ‘seek’ revenge at me.
By the way, if I were to describe the Archduke in a single word, it’ll be ‘Dog’. Oh, not that he’s royal...But that he’ll hump probably anybody. He basically gained his status by bribery...oh, I meant generous donations.
The Archduke curled his lips, “What do you mean by stealing, your imperial majesty? We simply caught a spy that tried to do harm to our empire, our home! Of course, everything that he has stolen will be returned...although...”
Black mailing me, is it?
And as if in cue, a figure opened the door yet again and slowly entered.
“This subject presents herself to his imperial majesty!”
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
This figure, bowed slightly as she said that.
“Ughhhh...”
Oops, that escaped my mouth by accident...
Both the Archduke and the woman who just entered had their expressions twitch.
“Head priestess, what brings you here? I don’t remember inviting you.”
Of course, the reason why she’s here is pretty obvious...but for courtesy’s sake, let’s hear it.
“Do I have to visit my husband-to-be with a reason behind it?” The woman smiled.
Ugh. I feel like throwing up.
Why? Because a pig would look a hundred times better than her fat ass!
As a person who appreciate beauty to the highest level--the level that transmigrate even gender--and totally ignoring any plotting, conspiracies and whatnot...for them to try and force me to marry this small eyed, pig nosed, fat lipped, elephant eared monstrosity should be plucked out of this world!
Thinking more and more about it, I immediately brought the barf bag that I always have on stand by next to the throne up to my mouth and barfed the breakfast I just had before watching the video.
“Blueeeeeeeeeh!”
Both the Archbishop and the Head Priestess looking disgusted for a split second, before hardening their expressions.
Of course, nothing escaped my eyes even while I was barfing my dear guts out.
This is all your fault, dammit!!
“O-oh d-dear...d-did you have a bad breakfast, m-my dear e-emperor?”
As soon as I finished clearing my bowels, I looked straight at this monstrosity and uttered, “Indeed, it all turned sour as soon as I laid my eyes on you!”
The monstrosity looked taken aback for a second, after that...well, it looked like she was trying her hardest to stop her tears from flowing out.
“Oh stop with the fake tears. It’s public knowledge that you slept your way to your rank, or otherwise I can’t see why you’re the head priestess.”
After I said that, the Archbishop snapped, “What did you just say?! Hmph! Don’t you realize that the church are the true rulers of this land? You should thank us that we even let you stay in the throne!”
“Hmph. I see that she slept with you, eh? A midget of a dog and a hybrid between a pig, an elephant and a bear. Truly, what a pair. How about this, rather than I marrying that thing, why don’t you do it?”
The Archbishop then instantly erupted his faint blue aura.
Oh...did I hit a nerve?
“Hey, you monstrosity of a human being. Look, even he took offense at me appointing you as his mistress!”
“You...shut your mouth!”
The Archbishop shouted at me as he shot toward me like an arrow.
But before he could climb any of the steps leading to the throne, his aura flickered like a candle at the end of it’s life.
He held his hand on his knees, as if trying to stand while having a mountain resting on his shoulders.
Of course, I knew what was truly happening.
He--and that monstrosity--were hit by Uncle Audrey’s gravity spell.
“Hmph, a mere fifth aura wants to challenge me and hurt his imperial majesty?”
Uncle Audrey’s voice rang, and the Archbishop turned into minced meat.
Of course, the head priestess was mashed into meat as soon as the Archbishop’s aura was released...it was more like, the line I said was the trigger. At the same time as the bishop snapped, paying no attention to his surroundings, Uncle Audrey released his gravity field spell on the head priestess, making it look like the aura of the Archbishop crushed her.
“Hahaha! Good work, Uncle! Did we catch everything?”
Uncle Audrey nodded, smiling, “Everything was caught on audio-less video.”
“Hahaha! We finally got rid of her ugliness while putting all the charges at the dog! Not only that, he tried to kill me so naturally, the church can’t blame me, right?”
Uncle Audrey continued to nod, “Indeed, indeed! Hahaha, they won’t know what hit them when they realize that your ‘wife-to-be’ was killed! This is exactly why the church shouldn’t let untrained individuals in a status of authority!”
We both laughed for a bit, “Well then, can you bring anyone to clean this horrible mess, Uncle? Also, make sure to only release the video after the church requests eviden--”
And as if lightning hit me...
...MY KAI COLLECTION!!!!!!!
“--Ahem. Only hand over the evidence to the church after they bring out both Quinton Stefan and the stuff he stole from the chief of information! Also, fire that useless chief of information!!”