I got up the next day as I do every day, I got out of bed, took a shower, brushed my teeth, forgot to eat, and then immediately went to work. However, I am 98% certain that I was fired from the movieplex, but that’s fine. I’m tired of corporations paying minimum wage for a job as physically and mentally demanding as working at a movie theater. They should unionize.

Fortunately, my new job is much better. I get to beat the shit out of a bunch of transphobic assholes, including the dude who tortured me and some of my friends. Matt. Just saying his name fills me with anger, knowing everything he’s done. His plot. His ideals. His way of speaking. What a fucking loser.

As I was exiting my apartment, which they let me stay in since I was kidnapped and couldn’t pay rent for a month, I decided to text the rest of the team and see what everyone had to say.

SERENITY: Good morning! Who’s ready to fuck up some dickbag scientists?

MYLO: Hell yeah!

ALPHONSO: We need to be aware of everything. Just meet up at the apartment.

CASPIAN: I am already there.

BRENDAN: are you in the window again

CASPIAN: duh

BRENDAN: seriously dude there is a DOOR please stop using your grappling hook it damages the window sill

CASPIAN: fuck off brendan

SANDRA: I second that fuck off brendan

JACOB: sandra how are you texting

SANDRA: valentina’s doing it for me

SERENITY: that’s really cute

SANDRA: thanks so is she

ALPHONSO: Do we all remember our missions? We might be able to skip the meetup since I’m already with Brendan and Jacob.

SERENITY: Caspian can you pick us up?

CASPIAN: I can’t fit 4 people on my motorcycle

SERENITY: get a bigger motorcycle then, or a passenger cart. No wait 2 passenger carts

ALPHONSO: hold on, we still don’t know where Matt is. The three of us are on our way to sinister headquarters. Sandra?

SANDRA: Yeah, I know where he is. Issue is, it’s a TV studio. Specifically BurnBright Studios.

MYLO: That doesn’t sound good.

SANDRA: He’s about to go live. The four of you headed that direction have about 30 minutes before he broadcasts his official first episode... which is intertwined with the same technology he used to torture everyone.

SERENITY: Wait, how is he going to use the laser through the television?

SANDRA: He’s not. He’s just going to have all of Seattle look him in the eyes. It’s being declared breaking news so he can control every single channel in King County.

CASPIAN: How?

SANDRA: BurnBright has a lot of money.

CASPIAN: I’m on my way.

SERENITY: Me too.

MYLO: I’ll be there within two shakes of a hare’s leg.

ALPHONSO: Great, where’s Gwen?

GWEN: shit sorry I overslept. Just woke up, it’s gonna take me time to do all my makeup.

ALPHONSO: We do not have time for that.

GWEN: I know but my powers don’t work if I’m not in full drag. You’re gonna have to get someone to cover for me.

SERENITY: come on dude you knew it was today you couldn’t have set an alarm or something?

GWEN: I don’t know what you want me to say, sorry I’m stupid?

ALPHONSO: Is there anyone else we can contact, Sandra?

SANDRA: It’s a long shot, even with the list.

JACOB: I know someone. Give me five minutes.

BRENDAN: Is it someone on the list?

JACOB: Who else would it be?

ALPHONSO: Okay, everyone, let’s get started.

BRENDAN: Operation Bitch Slap Matt out of existence is a go.

ALPHONSO: please stop coming up with operation titles.

I put my phone away and ran as fast as I could to BurnBright Studios. Luckily, I was only a few minutes away. When I got there, I saw Caspian, leaning against his motorcycle, and Mylo, cracking his fingers impatiently.

“Are we ready?” Caspian asked, impatiently.

“I need to grab a weapon,” I replied, slightly out of breath, “needs to be either clever or powerful. I... think I forgot the replica of the hammer when we were escaping the sinister gang's headquarters.”

"Really, Serenity?" Mylo gasped.

"I'm not used to my powers yet! It was a high stress situation! I cannot be held accountable."

“You wanna go as hard as possible? Get Zeus’ Master Bolt.” Caspian replied once more.

“You want me to become a lightning thief? That feels like it’s been done before.” I stated, questioning the decision.

“Serenity, we don’t have a lot of time. Just go take it.” Mylo said, plopping himself onto the pavement, waiting.

I sighed and closed my eyes, climbing the ladder until I reached a rung labeled Mount Olympus. I grabbed onto it with both hands and opened my eyes. I saw a bunch of chairs, mostly empty, with two gods sitting in them between two large, marble pillars. They were making out in Zeus’ chair. Probably Ares and Aphrodite.

“Sorry to interrupt, I have an urgent request.” I shouted into the room.

The two gods stopped making out and looked directly at me.

“Tiny, insignificant speck. What is so important you felt the need to call out to us?” Ares yelled.

“Okay, like, babe, cool it a lil? Maybe she just needs sex or something,” Aphrodite said to Ares, stroking his face, “You ever have a threesome with the Gods? Our orgies are incredible.”

“I need a weapon.” I replied.

“Yeah, that’s totally you, babe. I can’t help with that.” Aphrodite told Ares before snapping her fingers and disappearing from the room.

“What purpose do you need a weapon for?” Ares asked, disappointed and angrily, “You must be aware that if you need something crafted, you will need to head for Hephaestus’ chambers.”

“No, actually I need it immediately. Friends told me to get Zeus’ lightning bolt but I’ll settle for anything magical.” I replied, trying to hold back my fear as I face the God of War himself.

“You realize that the Master Bolt only works within the hands of Zeus himself, correct?”

“I do now.”

Ares paused for a second, before shuffling through his personal armory. He paused at a very fine looking sword before handing it to me.

“This is the sword of Herakles. Within it lies the strength of the man who faced and survived 12 grueling trials. But before I hand it to you, tell me, who are you?” Ares responded before handing me the sword.

“My name is Serenity Eden. I was told by Anubis that I was the Phasewalker.” I replied.

“A planeshifter? I’ve heard tales but I have never seen a mortal one before my eyes in thousands of years. Bring back the sword when all 12 Gods are in their thrones. I will tell them you appeared.” Ares said, and with one final snap, he handed me the sword and disappeared.

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I could not question anything I just heard, so I immediately went back to my reality, brandishing the sword.

“That’s not the master bolt.” Caspian said as I returned.

“No, it’s even better. The Sword of Herakles.” I replied.

“How did you get that?” Mylo asked.

“Ares gave it to me. Now, come on! We have 20 minutes and The non-Asgardian Guards will try to stop us.” I said, running towards the building, Sword in hand.

“I’d like to see them try.” Caspian said, following suit.

We both slammed open the front doors into the lobby, where there were a lot of people sitting. They all left screaming. I walked over to the secretary who seemed to be in deep fear.

“Where’s Matt?” I asked.

“Room 212, but they’re about to go live!” The secretary said.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” I spoke, running directly through the double doors to the backside of the lobby, slicing any guards that try to attack me.

Before I continue, I’d just like to make a quick note. I do not condone murder, unless the people I am murdering are homophobic bigots, which if they’re working for Matt, they might as well be.

I ran up the stairs, arriving at the second floor, which was at first, a cafeteria. 10s of guards stood up and looked at me, right when Caspian came up behind me.

“You sure about this?” Caspian asked me.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything else in the last two months.” I replied.

Caspian nodded, and we dove straight into the fight. The current number of Sinister Gang guards weren’t a whole lot, and they barely made it worth the fight. I slammed the sword into as many things as possible, and Caspian was using a lot of traditional fighting techniques. I watched Caspian take out several of these nerds at once made me feel a lot better about myself. I managed to take out a few of them as well. Eventually, there was only one left, and he dropped his weapon.

“L-Listen! I’m just a grunt! Dave doesn’t even pay me minimum wage! I have three kids, a wife, plus two cats and all I get every week is 20 dollars and a 12 pack of hot pockets!” The final gang member said.

Suddenly, the wall broke down and in came a giant green hand, grabbing the last member and slamming him into the ceiling, before dropping him back onto the cafeteria floor, splashing an assortment of dessert foods all over his back.

“Mylo?” I called out.

“I AM THE BEAN!” Mylo shouted in the deepest voice I’ve ever heard from him as he’s now a 12 foot tall Green Bean with arms and legs, “FIND MATT!”

This was the first time I saw Mylo use his powers and... holy shit. What a way to watch a man pass out. Hopefully that dude survives, and he immediately quits.

But I wasn’t going to wait around to find out if he would. The second the cafeteria was empty, Caspian and I headed straight down to room 212, 5 minutes before the broadcast was supposed to start. I sliced the door in half.

“Look at that, Guests. Right on cue,” Matt said, as he was simply sitting at a fake desk in a fake office set, motioning the crew to take a break, “I’ve been waiting for you specifically, Michael. Anastasia’s looking pretty swagged out, too. You’re here to kill me, right? Well, unfortunately things may not go the way you plan. Shikoba, darling, it’s time for your entrance.”

“Shikoba? That’s one of the names on the list.”

From the janitor’s closet on the other side of the room emerged a youthful looking indigenous person, covered in several leather strips and brandishing a whip made out of the same material. As they entered the room, I could feel the sword thrusting itself out of my hands and into theirs. Caspian’s grappling hook also went straight towards them, but it just attached itself to Shikoba.

“I truly love how woefully underprepared you unreliables always are. Must be the namesake.” Matt laughed as Shikoba charged directly at us.

“Shit!” I yelled, dodging out of the way and then going to the ghost dimension.

I couldn’t hear anything, but I could see Caspian struggling to hold his own against the sword, which did have the power of Herakles himself. They must be able to attract metal objects, but why are they working with Matt, and why are they dressed like a Dominatrix?

Wait no that’s probably a Matt decision, and it doesn't seem like there were any other metallic objects in the room, which was weird cause this was a TV studio. I took a quick ghost breath and headed straight for Matt while he couldn’t see me, appearing right before I tackled him to the ground.

“You’re a sick joke.” I said as I tried to wrap my hands around his throat before I felt a really hard whip strike my back, allowing him to switch positions and get on top of me.

“Thanks, I try my best,” Matt replied, punching me in the face, “Now be a man and hit me back.”

I kicked him off my stomach and went ghost again, trying to figure out how I was going to get out of this. I saw a wooden broom in the corner and went over to it, shifting back to reality, and grabbing it, charging at Matt once more. Matt took a binder and blocked my attacks with the broom.

“Shikoba’s magnetic! You have to use non-metallic items!” I yelled to Caspian.

I saw that Caspian was actually having a difficult time fighting Shikoba, who seemed to constantly get the upper hand on him. Every time he’d block the sword, he’d get attacked with the whip before she used the sword on him. He was starting to bleed through his costume. He was struggling.

Matt used my quick distraction to break my broom in half, at which point I tried to block the rest of his binder attempts with the two halves of one broom, but I couldn’t maintain my strength anymore and he knocked them out of my hands, slamming me back into the floor.

We were outmatched. Even without backup, losing the sword really fucked everything up, and I couldn’t keep my eyes shut long enough to traverse any realm except for the supernatural one.

“Out of fighting spirit already? Come on, Michael, I’m just getting warmed up. You and your piece of shit community have had it very good for a long time, and I’m just here to make sure that you lose it all. You can’t keep shoving your agenda down our throats, indoctrinating our children, and bending the government to your beckoned call. That’s our job, and I finally have the ability to make that a reality. You see, Shikoba is proof that queerness can be cured. She thought she was something called Two-Spirit, which sounds like the dumbest thing I’ve personally ever heard, but now? She’s learned the truth. She’s not both genders, because you can’t be both genders, that’s ridiculous. She’s a woman, and if it worked on her, it’ll work on the rest of Seattle. It’ll work on the rest of the world. I’m going to turn this planet into a Nazi’s paradise, and you’re too weak to stop me.” Matt monologued as he inched closer to me, as I watched Caspian getting brutally beaten by Shikoba, and I laid on the floor, unable to move.

His speech pissed me off, but without a weapon, there wasn’t anything I could do. I closed my eyes and tried to climb the ladder one last time. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I had to go somewhere. Anywhere. We couldn’t beat him without help. I opened my eyes, and all I saw was a vast ocean. I was standing on a boat. I looked around, and I couldn’t see anyone. I just stared out at the ocean.

“FUCK!” I yelled out as loud as I possibly could into the vast emptiness of the sea surrounding me, “fucking FUCK I can’t believe I fucking fucked everything up again. Fucking fuck fuck fucker fucks.”

Knowing time passed here at the same rate in all realities, I knew I didn’t have long before I was able to go back.

“Can someone just perform a Deus Ex Machina? Save me from this shitty situation? Please?” I screamed, but no one responded.

I sat down on the deck, about ready to burst into tears. I was bleeding and in pain all over my body. How do I stop someone with magnetic abilities after being brainwashed?

... wait. Magnetic abilities. I was wondering why that room was only a set and I didn’t see any cameras or anything in there. They were in the wall. Nothing in that room had metal parts. Seems like a weird thing for a TV studio to not have. But that might be the ticket out of the situation. I took a deep breath, and went back to the second rung of the ladder, making a quick pit stop in the supernatural realm so I could sneak up on Shikoba.

Once I was in position, I finally re-emerged into the base reality and kicked Shikoba as hard as I could, away from Caspian.

“Keep Matt busy, I have an idea.” I said to Caspian, realizing he was in deep pain.

“I don’t know how much longer I have.” He said, through the blood that was dripping from his mouth.

“Stay with us for a few more minutes,” I said, turning my attention back to Shikoba, “Alright, bitch, show me what you got.”

I was still in a lot of pain and I wasn’t ready for the strikes of the whips as they slammed into my back, but the sword was just out of reach, and I started sprinting straight out of the room.

“FOLLOW HER!” Matt yelled.

Shikoba did exactly as instructed and I ran straight to the Cafeteria. I paused at one of the middle tables as Shikoba entered the room, cracking a smile.

“Enough with the rat race,” she said, walking towards me, “I’m going to finish you off myself.”

“I’m sure you’d like to, but you’re aware that’s not how this story goes, right?” I said, holding up a single fork, “because I have a theory I’d very much like to test.”

I let go of the fork and it immediately attacked itself to Shikoba, alongside all of the other utensils in the immediate area. Immediately after, the magnetic force was strong enough to pull all sorts of mechanical objects from the kitchen, including the pots, pans, and other appliances. All of them attached themselves to Shikoba as she passed out from the pain and lost her magnetic grip.

I grabbed the sword as well as Caspian’s grappling hook and ran back to the room, with Matt now standing over Caspian.

“Where’s Shikoba?” Matt asked, pointing a part of the broken broom at Caspian’s throat.

“Check the cafeteria. All villains have weaknesses. Theirs just happens to also be their strength.” I replied, smirking, holding up the Sword of Herakles, and giving Casp back his hook.

“What do you mean, theirs? She’s a woman! ‘They’ isn’t a fucking pronoun.” He yelled back.

“Holy shit, you’re pathetic,” I said as I ran towards him, sword in hand, stopping inches before his throat.

I saw him gulp in fear as I held my sword next to his throat.

“Any last words?” I asked.

“I-I-I’m not afraid of you, Michael. I’m just the delivery guy. Don’t you superheroes have some kind of oath not to kill people?” He asked, his voice shaking.

“That doesn’t apply to people who kidnap others in order to change the entirety of who they are. Do you really think that I’m going to stand here and allow you to live after everything you’ve done, Matt? After you not only kidnapped several queer people and tortured them, but are also knowingly about to broadcast to the rest of the fucking state and brainwash them into believing you? Do you understand how much shit we’ve been through without your fucking help? Your entire goal is self-preservation through eliminating those who are different, and for as long as time has existed, so too shall people who are different from you. Deal with it, or die, transphobic scum.” I spoke with innate rage, in as serious a tone as I possibly could.

I didn’t wait for him to respond. I couldn’t let him live, not with his goals, not when I knew what he was capable of. I took the sword of Herakles, and I did the only thing I thought would be a fate worse than death.

I took out his eyes. One by one. Slowly. I could hear every cry of pain as I took out the two things he needed to use in order to use his powers. Then I cut off his hands, just so he can never experience touch, then right before I walked away...

...I sliced his fucking dick off.

“Good luck in life, Oedipus.” I spoke, kicking his mutilated body back into his desk before leaving the room, maneuvering Caspian above my shoulders.

“This isn’t the end of me! I’ll be back! I’ll never forgive you, Michael! I’ll get new hands and strangle you to death! YOU WON’T LIVE TO REGRET THIS!” Matt called out in pain and desperation as I slowly walked out of the building with Caspian through the supernatural realm back to the bottom floor, where Mylo was waiting in his normal form. Alphonso, Brendan, Jacob, and a girl I haven’t met yet were also there.

“Are you two okay?” Alphonso asked immediately.

“Caspian needs to get to an emergency room. I’ll be okay for now.” I replied, sitting Caspian down on a nearby bench, his wounds starting to heal.

“And Matt?”

“Eyeless, Handless, and Dickless. He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

Everyone stared at me for a minute, the sword glistening in the sunlight, while also emphasizing my own scars and bleeding.

“I’m glad we have a badass like you around, then.” Brendan said, offering me a congratulatory handshake.

“We could really use someone like you, Serenity.” Alphonso spoke happily to me.

“Thanks, but for now I should really try to get back on my feet financially. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to get back out on the front lines, for now just... help Caspian. I’ll keep his motorcycle safe.” I replied, taking the keys out of Caspian’s outfit and heading towards his motorcycle.

“Should we stop her?” Jacob asked.

“No. She nearly killed a guy, I really don’t wanna fuck with her right now. Let’s just help Caspian and Juniper.” Alphonso replied.

“You brought me all the way out here to field test my powers and didn’t even end up needing me?” The girl said.

“There will be other battles, June.” Jacob replied.

“That douchebag tortured me too, Jacob. Next time, I want to be the final girl.”

I couldn’t hear the rest of that conversation. Too much wind in my face. I couldn’t hear anything, not even my thoughts. I had a clear head for the first time in a long while, and I was yearning for it.

This isn’t the end of Serenity Eden. This is simply one story out of many. If y’all keep reading, who knows? Maybe I’ll come back. There’s a lot of transphobes out there, after all.