“Are you gonna be okay, dude?” I asked Alphonso, as he was clearly going through something serious.
“Yeah. It’s... it’s been a month. I’m sure everything will be fine... but Sandra was there for the worst parts of it... the planning. The speeches. The firing. If she’s involved, then the implications of the kidnapping aren’t good.” He replied, in a more stoic tone than normal.
“Are you sure you want to go alone?” Jacob asked to double check.
“I can convince her to help us.” Alphonso replied, confirming the severity of the situation.
“... Okay, How about this,” I started, getting more serious than I’ve ever been in my entire life, “I can’t let you go alone, but... if you take Mylo with you, Jacob and I can search for the other two names. We don’t have a lead on Joy, but we have a general subscription, and if Jim is famous then we can keep an eye on his instagram in the meantime.”
“Hey, Mylo, are you okay? You’ve been fairly quiet over there.” Alphonso said, looking over to Mylo in the corner.
They exchanged a few more words and we settled on two teams, Jacob & myself, and Alphonso & Mylo.
“Okay, great, that’s settled. Let’s get started, Jacob.” I said as Mylo & Alphonso walked out of the apartment.
“Of course I got the shit end of the deal,” Jacob said, groaning, “okay, how are we going to find a drag queen in downtown Seattle? That’s like looking for a toothpick in a haystack.”
“Needle in a haystack.” I replied, correcting him.
“No, a toothpick would be harder cause it’s the same color as the hay.” Jacob responded.
“Not everyone in Seattle is a drag queen, and besides, we know who we’re looking for. We know where Gwen used to perform. We can start there.”
“Where? Our normal chauffeur just left with a 20 year old who is the human personification of a vegetable.”
I pulled out my phone and looked through Gwen’s instagram. There were some promotional imagery from a few months ago, and it seemed like she consistently performs at a place called Legacy.
“A bar named Legacy near the seattle center.” I finally said, walking out of the apartment and to the ground floor, Jacob following closely behind.
Luckily, our apartment wasn’t super far away from the seattle center, even if it took a few minutes to get to. Unluckily, though, we were on the wrong side of it and there was a protest going on... by some of the most radical christians I’ve ever seen.About 50 of them, all blocking the street.
“Erase your sin!” Some random dude with a megaphone shouted at a random passerby.
Another person was playing a radio show, The Matt Slapp. It seemed like it was already well underway.
“That’s right, listeners. You heard me correctly. I’m going to use the abandoned labs that were sold to me as Jared Lang was arrested after that awful battle a month ago. I’m even giving it a new name, to take pride in all the things the gay community calls us. Phobia Labs. Truly the most bigoted place in Seattle! Haha, no, no listeners, I jest. The woke mob won’t stop us. We will not let them. Thanks for listening to... hmm, I think we’re overdue for a title change. Call it... the Phobia Hour. I’ve been Matt Shapiro. Thanks for listening.” Matt said over the radio, before transitioning into a beer commercial with Jason Aldean’s voice.
Suddenly, I heard Alphonso’s voice come through the teamline as we continued walking.
“Matt Shapiro’s end goal is to cure queerness,” he said, “he just said so on his radio show.”
“Are you FUCKING kidding me?” Serenity shouted while seemingly still trying to stay quiet.
“I absolutely am not.” Alphonso replied.
“Yeah, we can confirm it. Brendan & I just passed by a protest in the seattle center with the same show playing.” Jacob said, still next to me.
“Where does this dude get off?” I shouted, startling some of the other pedestrians.
“We’re currently inside the hideout. We’re going to get that list.” Caspian said calmly.
“I am going to murder this motherfucker with my bare hands.” Serenity said angry-whispering before the line went dead.
“This just makes matters worse,” Jacob said, “I hope we can find Gwen soon. Is the bar even open right now? It’s still morning.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But it doesn’t hurt to check, at least.”
We continued walking through the center until we saw a neon bar sign for Legacy.
I immediately ran towards it, since there were no cars on the road, and Jacob followed. The door was locked since it wasn’t open, but there were fliers in the windows for different events. After looking at a few of them, we noticed that one of the shows had Gwen Spacey as the main headliner for a show tonight at around 6pm. There were a few other names listed alongside her, including a host named Lasagna Fox.
I immediately looked her up, and it seemed like she produced a few shows in the area, including a free show on a pier near Pike Place happening at noon today. Not sure why it wasn't just at the bar they normally host shows at, but I don't know jack about producing drag shows.
“We need to find Lasagna Fox,” I said, realizing I hadn’t said anything to Jacob, “she’s at one of the piers near Pike Place.”
“Yes, I am standing right next to you and reading the same flier that you are.” He replied in a very monotone voice.
Pike Place was a pretty far walk from where we were, so we took a trip on the trolley instead and got there before noon. They were still setting up, but apparently there were a couple buff bodyguards standing and making sure people didn’t interfere with the setup process. Jacob & I walked up to them, and like I suspected, they wouldn’t let us through.
“No one goes in until the stage is set up, sorry fellas.” One of the bodyguards said in a deep voice.
“We need to talk to Lasagna.” I asked, desperately.
“Why?” He asked back.
“That’s... uhh... classified.” I replied, not really sure how to answer that question nor did I want to tell the super-strong looking bodyguards our real reason for being there.
“It’s about Jim Jeremy.” Jacob said quickly, to cover my tracks.
The bodyguard looked at us, then sighed and moved out of our way.
“Don’t take too long.” He said as we walked through and approached the queen doing a mic check on the stage.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
“Mic check. Testing. Hello Seattle, it’s your favorite woman, Lasagna Fox!” She said before backing away from the mic and talking to one of the sound technicians, “We’re set for noon!”
Lasagna walked off the stage and noticed us as we approached.
“Are you lost, boys?” She asked us.
“No, we’re looking for you, actually.” Jacob said, giving me a stare that said I probably shouldn’t talk.
“Oh, do tell. I love being a wanted woman.” She replied, getting slightly closer to Jacob, causing him to blush a bit.
“We’re... uhh... we’re looking for Gwen Spacey and a-according to a flier at Legacy you’ve done shows with her before.” Jacob replied, getting a bit more nervous.
“Are you getting turned on by a man in a wig?” I spoke, which was apparently the wrong choice.
“The limits of gender exist outside the confines of your pitifully small mind.” Lasagna said sarcastically.
“Yeah, Brendan, it’s 2023, get over it,” Jacob agreed, shutting me down, “So... Gwen Spacey.”
“Yeah, I know her. I’ve worked with her for a few years. Very talented. She’ll be on this stage soonish, if she even gets here on time. Who’s asking?”
“I’m Jacob, this is Brendan. We came to ask Gwen a few questions about the Phobia Labs kidnapping.”
Lasagna gave both of us a strange look when Jacob said that word, making it seem like she knew more than she was letting on.
“How do you know about that? That information wasn’t released to the public.” Lasagna asked, her tone shifting to something a bit more cautious.
“We know people who were kidnapped by the same people and tortured in the same place. I have more information but it would mean a more private chat and potentially delaying the show.” Jacob replied, leading the conversation exactly where he wanted it.
Lasagna thought about it for a moment, before walking back to the stage and picking up her cell phone. We watched as she dialed some random numbers into it and waited for whoever she was calling to pick up. Eventually, it seemed like they answered.
“I need you to come early.” Lasagna said, impatiently.
She waited for whoever was on the other line to respond before talking again.
“This is urgent. There’s people here who... know. Are you ready yet?” She replied to whoever was on the other line.
There was another brief moment of silence.
“I’ll see you in 10, then,” She said finally before hanging up, walking back over towards us, “She’s coming. Help yourself to the refreshments table.”
“There’s a refreshments table for a drag show?” I asked, confused.
“Duh. I like to entice an audience, thank you.” Lasagna replied.
Jacob shrugged and we both walked over to the table, getting some food and hydrating while we wait for Gwen. It took awhile and she was a bit late, but within 15 minutes, Gwen had finally arrived.
“Lasagna! It’s been ages, babes, what’s going on?” Gwen said.
Gwen was wearing a very alien-like dress with 3 antennas on top of her head, rings around her shoulders, a control panel on her stomach, and a short purple wig. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before, especially given that Lasagna was wearing a basic yellow & red dress she either made herself or found at a goodwill.
“Jacob, Brendan, this is Gwen. Gwen, these are the people who asked about... your disappearance.” Lasagna replied.
Gwen looked at us for a few moments before turning back to Lasagna.
“You sure they’re trustworthy?” She asked.
“They have friends who were also... kidnapped.” Lasagna immediately replied, getting quieter at the last word.
Gwen turned to look at us again, raised her hand, and motioned for us to follow her. She took us to the very end of the pier, behind the stage, and leaned against the railing as we told her everything we currently knew, about Matt, the Lab, his plan, and the rest of the team.
“That’s why we came to find you. We need your help. You might have abilities like the others.” I finished off everything, waiting for Gwen to respond.
Gwen took a second to process what we said before responding.
“That all sounds very troublesome, but unfortunately I can’t exactly help you. I don’t have any abilities. All I gained from the experience was trauma.” Gwen replied, pulling out a cigarette.
“Both of our friends who were kidnapped gained abilities. The other 14 likely would go through the same thing. Maybe you just haven’t awakened to anything yet.” I replied, annoyed.
“If not, telling us what you experienced would also help.” Jacob said, interjecting.
“Okay, fine, here’s the deal. I was kidnapped after a show a few weeks ago by some men with a G on their chest surrounded by a snake. Everything else is like what happened to your friends, I was shown my deepest fear, and brought to that facility, hit with the "disintegration ray", as the assholes called it, and then endured even more torture. Nothing unlike what your friends went through, I assume.” Gwen said, answering our question in a way that didn’t explain a whole lot.
However, while she was answering our questions, something a bit more interesting happened. The control panel on her stomach lit up, and it looked almost like a calculator, same number pattern and everything.
“Is... your dress supposed to do that?” Jacob asked, pointing at her stomach.
“No, it’s painted cardboard.” She replied, pressing random buttons on it.
We both tried to tell her to wait but no words could be said before we all disappeared into a portal and got slung all the way back to the laboratory, landing in the bushes. However, the laboratory looked very much alive, which was slightly different from what Caspian and Serenity described. Upon arrival, I tried to talk into the teamline to contact the rest of the team to let them know what happened.
“Hey, if anyone can hear this, we found Gwen and we’re at the lab for some reason.” I spoke, waiting for a response, but none came.
“Testing, testing, mic check, one, two.” Jacob said, testing the teamline, but again nothing came through.
“Not even Alphonso? He’s usually the one to answer immediately.” I told Jacob, confused.
We looked around to try and find Gwen before we pulled her head out of the bushes. When she saw the lab, she had a frightened look in her eyes.
“Oh, no, no, no this is bad. Why are we here? Why are there people in there? What’s happening?” She shouted, frightened, loudly.
She spoke so loudly that one of the scientists in the window took notice and started to talk towards the front door as we pushed her back down into the bushes and hid, covering Gwen’s mouth and making sure we didn’t get any lipstick on our hands. The scientist eventually shrugged and walked out of view before we stood up again.
“Shit, that was close.” Jacob said softly, making his way towards the area of the building with no windows.
“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. We don’t have our weapons.” I said, partially freaked out.
“You two have weapons and you didn’t bring them?” Gwen replied, confused.
“We thought we were going to a drag show, not an abusive laboratory.” I said, trying to remain calm.
We shuffled around the bushes, hiding from scientists at every other moment, before Jacob noticed something on the ground and went to pick it up. Suddenly, his expression changed to something a bit more shocked.
“What?” I asked.
He handed me the newspaper, and I looked at the date. July 10th, 2023.
One month ago.
“Well, I think we know what Gwen’s ability is.” I whispered, handing the paper to Gwen.
Her expression went completely blank.
“Today was the day I was kidnapped.” She said after a few moments.
“Fucking hell.” Jacob replied.
“Okay, so now that we know when we are, the next question should be why are we here?” I asked both of them.
“Gwen was telling us about when she was kidnapped, and if her panel sent us here... then we need to see exactly where she was brought to. Maybe we can also find the list. If it’s one month ago, chances are it’s here somewhere. According to the newspaper, we don’t fight the kinderdrawer for a couple days, so if we go in and disguise ourselves accordingly... we might be able to sneak in.” Jacob said, thinking through the situation.
“The one fucking time we could use a scientist and he opts to visit fucking Sandra.” I replied, muttering curses under my breath.
“Allow me. I have a BA in Theater.” Gwen said, pushing us both aside and moving forward.
“Wait, hold on, if you see yourself or we change the future in any way, we might fuck up the entire timeline. We need to be incredibly careful.” Jacob said, calling out to Gwen to not just rush into this.
“I’ll go. I can convince them I know science stuff.” I said, before Jacob put his hand in front of me.
“You thought Jurassic Park was a documentary. What would your plan be, Brendan? You can’t just recite Bill Nye quotes the whole time,” Jacob told me, sighing, “I’ll go. I won’t disrupt the timeline because I was never involved in this in the first place, and I can convince them I’m a real scientist.”
I looked at Gwen, and we both nodded. I sat down on the wall, and Gwen did the same thing.
“Be careful, and find the list. Get back here when you have more information.” I said, watching Jacob as he walked around the corner to the front door.
“Don’t worry,” he started, “I’m asian. They’re just going to assume I know what I’m talking about.”
And with that, he turned the corner and disappeared from sight.