Murong Yingyue watched as the man rolled around in the dirt, clutching his package.

Mhm, this foot of mine is very formidable! That’s twice in a day that it’s displayed such prowess.

The green-robed man had forced himself up from the ground and waved his hand. Water splashed onto him out of nowhere, drenching him from head to toe, causing his clothing to stick on to his body, showing off his curves. At the same time, the beasts surrounding him all dropped dead.

The man took off his robe, revealing his bare chest.

Two, Four, Six! A six pack!

Yingyue looked closer at him.

His biceps aren’t bad either, but Second Senior Brother definitely beats him in the pectoral and collarbone department.

The man who had been smugly reading her thoughts frowned. What? Someone had a better body than me? I need to meet this person and kill him. No one can have a better-looking collarbone than me. There’s already my Junior Brother who has nice pecs, but now there’s another?

He gave Murong Yingyue a side-eye. And where has this girl even had the chance to see a shirtless man?

Then he had a devious thought. He reached down, and dropped his pants, revealing long legs and underwear. He smiled to himself as he heard a choked sound come from the tree.

Fuck, this isn’t a fanservice scene, is it? He isn’t going to strip naked, is he? Ahhh, fucking author, don’t push me!

Yingyue’s face twisted. It only relaxed slightly when the man waved his hand again, instantly dressing himself in another set of green robes. Another movement from his hand and the soaked robes disintegrated. He looked up at her, his extraordinarily handsome face in plain view.

“Hey, you!” She shouted out. “Fuck you, who goes up to a person like that?” Yingyue flipped him off. “This is your fault, what if I fell down?” She casually deflected the blame on to him, unfazed by his super-pretty-godly-amazing looks.

The man chuckled, unaffected by her rude demeanor.

“Alright, alright, it’s all my fault.” Yingyue glanced at her foot. Shit, this is too miraculous. Did it actually work? Or is his brain actually located “down there” and my kick damaged it?

Yingyue was blinded by the green-clothed man’s brilliant smile. Then she noticed his unusual red eyes. This man gives me a male lead feeling...

“Hey, pretty young miss, what’s your name? My name is Di Jinming. You have a really powerful and accurate kick. Where did you learn martial arts? Can I follow you?” Nevermind, probably not a male lead. Maybe a female lead's side ho?

Murong Yingyue shivered. Dammit, did she run into an M? And what kind of person blatantly lied to a woman about her appearance? She was still wearing her veil okay? Did this guy think just randomly spouting compliments would make her less wary of him? He even complimented that kick of hers!

“Get the hell away from me.” She scowled. She turned her head to the side, ignoring him.

“Why? Could you answer my questions? Do I get to follow you or not? I still don’t know your name! Goddess, please tell me!”

“Fuck you! I don’t like people like you. So annoying! And since you know I’m a goddess, then listen to this goddess and scram!”

Di Jinming went silent. Yingyue sighed in relief. Good, looks like he left! But a sliver of doubt seized her. Wait, isn't this kind of person is the exact type to either stay here or pop up like a weed later?

She looked around. She didn’t see anyone.

The coast was clear.

“Could you please-”

She swung her hand behind her, intending on slapping the man. A large, warm hand gripped her wrist.

“-tell me your name?” Di Jinming’s voice was husky, his face leaning in close to hers.

“No means no! Do you want me to upgrade your status from ‘annoying weirdo’ to ‘sexual harasser’?” He pouted.

“I just wanted to know your name. What’s wrong with that? Besides, I said I could help you with your seal.” She eyed him suspiciously. He was relatively strong, at least a blue rank expert, since he killed the beasts in an instant, and he had even sensed her seal, so he was probably good with formations. He most likely had a way to unseal her cultivation, since he had brought up the matter with her.

“If I tell you my name, you’ll undo my seal?”

He nodded enthusiastically.

“Alright. You undo my seal first, and then I’ll tell you my name.” She could beat him up after she got her power back. No loss for her. Even if he was a purple rank, she could still make him eat dirt off the ground.

Don’t think she didn’t notice that he was fussy with cleanliness. Who would immediately strip if they got dirt on themselves after being kicked in the balls?

The man waved his hand again, and she felt her spiritual energy being to circulate once more. Fuck, isn’t this way too fast? I thought it would take at least a day for him to be done.

If this man could undo her seal this fast, didn’t it mean he was much stronger than her? She looked mournfully at her fist. Sorry, you won’t taste the blood of annoying people today.

“Your name?”

“Lu Fei.” Third Senior Sister, I’ll be borrowing your good name. Thank me later when a hottie shows up at your door.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Lu Fei? Shouldn’t your last name be Murong?”

“No, it’s Lu Fei. I think I know my own name, ‘kay?” Yingyue sent out some of her own spiritual energy to probe the other man’s. The moment their spiritual energy touched, Murong Yingyue was overwhelmed by it. What the hell! Looks like I can’t beat this guy after all.

“Then why do you have the Dragon Jade Amulet of the Murong clan?” She looked down. Dammit, this cheap thing again. It must’ve slipped out of my sleeve when I kicked him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen a Dragon Jade Amulet before.” Di Jinming continued to stare pointedly at the amulet hanging from her sleeve.

“If you’re talking about this, then I just picked this off the ground. Don’t know where it came from.” Yingyue immediately denied any connection to it.

“Oh? Then if the goddess doesn’t mind, I can take it off your hands and give it back to the Murong Clan. After all, a person of your esteemed status wouldn’t pay any mind to something worth as little as this, would they?”

Fuck, this person was definitely mocking her.

Murong Yingyue grit her teeth. It was true that she didn’t really care about the shitty amulet. The dagger in her sleeve was worth at least ten Dragon Jade Amulets.

However, she needed to keep it for the real Murong Yingyue, as the people of the Murong clan highly valued this useless thing, and would bring trouble to her if she lost it. She couldn’t even make a new one since it had a unique design and the creator had put his spiritual imprint on it.

And this person was still going “goddess this” and “goddess that.” He was obviously stronger than her, why did he keep up that charade?

She really should’ve kicked harder when she had the chance. I wish I could go back and cripple him “there”!

“No! This goddess here isn’t one to easily give others back their things. If they lose it, then it’s their fault.” She shot back, emphasizing the goddess part.

Hmph! If you call this woman a goddess, then you better listen to this goddess!

“What kind of goddess are you then? Won’t even give back small petty change like this. Immoral!” Di Jinming said, lifting his head very “righteously.”

Fuck your sixty-nine generations of ancestors! I curse you to be impotent, I curse you to get terrible acne, and I curse you to have chronic diarrhea! You dare talk of morals when you shamelessly stripped in front of a maiden? This maiden only doesn’t mind because she’s seen better.

Di Jinming: Since when has she seen better? Could it be that I’m actually average? No, it’s impossible. It can’t be true...

(A sliver of doubt enters this hopelessly narcissistic male lead.)

“Does a goddess have to be good? Why can’t I be a bad goddess?”

“Then shouldn’t you be called a demoness?” He bantered back.

Hah, this lady here used to be a demoness, but that term’s too subjective. I want equality! You can argue that a bloodthirsty male god of war is “good,” but a bloodthirsty female is a definite demoness. Screw your male agendas!

“You were the one who called me a goddess. I’m simply going with the flow.”

“Going with the flow? What is does that mean?” Yingyue frowned. She didn’t think about her words and accidentally used some slang from Earth.

“It means that I was just following along with your words. So it’s really your fault.”

“Is that so? Then you can continue to follow me then. I’ll bring you to many fun places and let you play around. I can protect you if you get into any trouble. You just have to keep me company. Good deal, right?” He offered.

Why does this sound like what a pedophile would say to lure in some unsuspecting kid? This guy is too creepy, changing from cheerful idiot to calm righteous person to a possible human trafficker. I’d better scoot before I get whiplash from his personality changes.

Oh yeah, that's right. I also have to settle down the Murong clan. They probably panicked when Murong Cheng and I disappeared during the banquet. After that, I just have to finish Murong Yingyue’s matters and I can finally leave.

“Nope, no, hell fucking no.” She pretended to look at a watch, the action going completely over Di Jinming’s head. “Oh, look at the time, I really need to be getting back. I’ve been gone for a day and my parents will miss me.” She jumped out of the cliff in one leap, intending to sprint as soon as she hit the ground.

She nearly shrieked when she felt a hand wrap around her ankle and tugged her down. She fell into a hard chest, and before she could push herself off it, arms wrapped around her.

“Why the rush? You’ve already been gone the whole night, I doubt that a few more minutes will hurt.” Di Jinming leaned his mouth down and spoke breathlessly in her ear.

Oh my god! Please have a more consistent personality! You’re killing me here!

“I left my stove on, I need to hurry back and turn it off!”

“But you’ve been gone for an entire night already. It's already too late for that.” That’s not the point! I just want you to let go, you creepy motherfucker! Wait... did he say I’ve been gone for a whole night? Has he been watching me the entire time? Ahhhh, someone save me from this stalker! This man is almost for sure a male lead type: Domineering, possessive, and absolutely fucking scary!

Yingyue didn’t respond, only focusing on getting out of his hold. However, no matter how hard she struggled, she couldn’t get out!

Alright then, time to use her powers!

Without warning, her body disappeared. Di Jinming was left holding empty air. He narrowed his eyes. He knew she was still here. He had put a tracking formation on her when he was hugging her, and he could still sense that it was nearby.

It couldn’t be an illusion spell since he had been holding her very tightly, and she wasn’t skilled enough to cast an illusion spell that would fool even his senses. He walked a couple circles around, carefully examining the surroundings. Then he heard her mind.

Goddammit, you fucker, leave already! Nothing to see here! Go do something productive, like finding another unsuspecting victim to prey on. Hmph, what a disgusting person. Did he really think I wouldn’t notice that tracking formation on me? Absolute imbecile!

It was very quiet, and he wouldn’t have heard it if he was further away from her spot. It seems that I was very lucky. Who knows if I would ever find her again if I hadn’t come close to her hiding spot?

He continued to read her thoughts, amused everytime he would take a step too close to her.

Ahhh! No, further away! Get away from here! I’m going to get stepped on! I knew I should’ve ranked up another level. I can’t move when I’ve shrunk my body this much. My body is too dense for my spiritual power to support!

Di Jinming finally crouched down, looking directly at her.

Fuck, he hasn’t seen me, right? Oh my dear lord, why did I have to run into this guy? This guy can go bend over and suck his own dick! Di Jinming smiled coldly, eyes still trained on her.

Holy shit, screw this, I’m going to use my teleportation talisman and hope for the best!

Yingyue unshrank herself, and in one deft motion, pulled out a paper talisman. She ripped it in half, and it activated, a glow surrounding her body as spatial energy began to coalesce.

Di Jinming reached out to her with his spiritual energy to stop it, but it passed through the spatial energy, unable to interact with it. He recovered quickly, grabbing for Murong Yingyue’s arm, but she had shrunk herself again and he missed.

In another blink of the eye, she was gone, no trace of her left. Di Jinming stood there without moving. Several moments passed in complete silence.

Without warning, he threw his head back and laughed. Some poor beasts in the forest cowered in fear as he cackled.

Hahaha, to think she would have a teleportation talisman like that. Looks like her background is not simple, to be able to have a teleportation talisman made by the great Spacial Master Chu Cheng. I suppose I’ll need to drop by and visit Master after all...