REINER – INSISTENT INVITATION

“I’ll take you home…” Reiner said flatly as his arm supported my waist.

I was sure that there were many things that he should have said to me, but everything was left unsaid.

He opened the car door for me and helped me into the passenger seat. My body was still suffering from

the aftereffects of his hot and rough sex. My legs felt weak, and my insides felt like a mess. My outfit

was messed up and I tried adjusting them as best as I could when I was in the car. The worse part that

was messed up was my mind and my emotions.

Reiner was mad and just like the last time that he was mad, we ended up doing it. The car door closed

with a bang and Reiner was sitting next to me in the car. I glanced over at his stern face and his tight

jaw. He didn’t look like someone who had just had wild and great sex.

Before, I could think of something to say to him, Reiner started the car and started driving. Once again,

he didn’t ask me where my new place was, and I didn’t feel obliged to offer the information. I had no

doubt that he was taking me back to my place this time for sure and that meant only one thing: he knew

where my new place was already.

My eyes traveled to his face as I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. He’s been keeping an eye on

me; I just know it.

The car sped by along the dark road, and I found out that we were driving pretty fast. The silent

atmosphere inside the car was stifling and it was getting on my nerves. I’ve had a long day and I

wasted a lot of energy during a harsh lovemaking session just now. I couldn’t wait to get back to my

place. I looked outside the window at the dark view that was passing by.

There was so little light apart from the streetlamp that I couldn’t really see anything. I wondered if

Reiner would start talking before we arrived at my place. And then I realized that he probably wouldn’t.

Sometimes silence isn’t golden. After a few minutes into the drive, I’ve already made up my mind that if

he wouldn’t say anything, then I would. I spent the rest of the time of the ride thinking about what I

would say to him and how I would say it.

Over and over again, I asked myself what I wanted from him. I asked myself over and over again if I

still felt the same or if my goals have changed. I wasn’t really the one to doubt myself, but at that

moment, I just wanted to make sure. I glanced over at Reiner again and saw that he was looking

straight ahead at the road. If he paid me any attention, or if he thought of me, he didn’t show it.

It was a long ride back to my place, but with absolutely no traffic. It didn’t take us long to arrive. That

shortened the time that I had to think things through. By the time that we arrived at my place, I wasn’t

sure what I wanted to say. It was harder and a lot more complicated than I thought. My feelings were

complicated and putting them into words were even more complicated. I couldn’t help but wonder if this

was also the case for Reiner. This material belongs to .

“Thank you for driving me back…” I thanked him softly once the car came to a stop right in front of my

apartment building.

“Sure…” Reiner replied curtly.

He still didn’t look my way, and that made it even harder for me to tell what he was thinking or feeling.

Why are we making this so difficult for ourselves?

It felt like we’ve just been running around in circles and I was more frustrated than ever. It was hard to

resist this game of chase when the big prize was right in front of me. However, I wasn’t sure how long I

was willing to play at this game. The obstacles were harsh, and the timeline was long, and I’m now

trapped in a place very unfamiliar to me.

I spent the time thinking of the various things that I wanted in my life and for my future. I wanted a job

and hopefully one day I can own my own business. I wanted to be independent and have control over

my own future. I wanted a loving family of my own, and hopefully one day, I would have children of my

own. Those dreams felt so far away, and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to reach them one day.

The strangest and perhaps the saddest part of everything that I thought of during that drive was that in

every single dream and in every single scenario, Reiner was always by my side. I guess I just couldn’t

picture my future without him in it. What can I say to make him understand how I feel?

The bigger problem was, what can I do to make him feel the way that I feel? Is it even possible to

change someone else’s feelings? No school, no courses in university, and no one has ever taught me

how to do so. Maybe I was just being stubborn, but I wasn’t willing to give up and let go.

“R…do you want to…come in?” I asked a little hesitantly.

For the first time since the drive started, Reiner turned to face me, and his eyes showed his surprise at

my words. I bit my lower lip and held my breath as I waited for his answer. I wasn’t sure if he was

stunned into silence or if he couldn’t make up his mind.

“R…please come inside…” I said, firmly this time.

“I shouldn’t…” he replied stiffly.

“Please come inside…” I said as I reached out and grabbed his hand in mine.

--To be continued…