I wake up to the sound of hot air leaving the school bus as it comes to a stop. After hearing it so many times, it has become second nature for me to stand up and prepare to get off. 

Note to self: Don’t game until 1am on Sunday night. I’ve paid the price of feeding my gaming lust and now I am suffering because of my lack of will to stop gaming. I couldn’t resist the temptation of grinding Starcraft 2 and the imperceptible pressure exerted by Devin’s expectations upon myself. Ugh, why do I game so much. What is the point of gaming? In fact, gamers don’t contribute to society, so this world would be better off without them. 

By careful deliberation, I’ve come to the realization that “Goddamnit! All gamers should die.”

I should have expected that the man, the myth, the legend of not shutting the fuck up, Marvin, to respond “But aren’t you a gamer too Sebas?”

I don’t wanna waste my energy helping this 80 IQ brat understand the deep and subtle meaning of my line, so instead I just respond “Yea, so? All gamers should die.”

“Ok then….”

This idiot doesn’t understand that I have the potential to become a contributor to society by ceasing to game. His mindset is stagnant like a lake, while my mind flows like a river and is as vast as an ocean. His puny peon brain cannot comprehend the majesty and awarenes-

I’m rudely interrupted by Devin, “Dood, move. You’ve stood there for a good 30 seconds. There are people waiting.” 

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It’s not pleasant for so many people to be rushing me. They should have some more empathy goddamnit. Can’t they see I’m having a spiritual breakthrough right now. But alas, my intelligence is on another level and they have power in numbers, so all I can do is comply to get off the bus. 

Without anything else to do, I walk along with my “friends” to the library. It’s amusing that they don’t even realize that they have been conditioned by me to become total pushovers, giving me the power to reign over them like a king.

“Cya guys, I’m going to my locker,” Devin tells us and proceeds to walk away.

It might seem like Devin just went off on his own, but I actually allowed him to do that. Being the generous ruler I am, I give them a degree of freedom to satisfy their lowly desires. 

After a long trek, we arrive at the library. Of course, Marvin gets the door for me. As I am pleased by his loyalty, I reward him.

“Thanks,” I give him my valuable word. I am so modest to give him such a precious gift.

When I walk in, my “friend” in training spots me. He has come to me numerous times for advice on a girl. Although I’ve not had too many relationships, my incredible analysis of the material world has made me a love guru.

Walking up to me he greets me. “Hey Sebastian, I need some advice about a girl.”

“Sure Nathan.”

“We haven’t known each other for too long, but I’ve fallen in mad love with her. She is the most attractive girl I’ve ever seen in my life. I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. She was wearing leggings that hugged her lovely legs, a parka that contrasted with her slim waist, and a ponytail that arced through the air like the most beautiful rainbow. She was sitting in a coffee shop alone, as if untouchable by mortal hands. She was sipping on the most luxurious pumpkin spice latte, accenting her luscious red lips. I ended up staring at her for 30 minutes, until she was picked up by whom I found later to be her father. She’s like Kanade from Angel Beats, except that she is my angel. Unfortunately, I can’t approach her. She glows with charisma and sociability, unlike my dreary and awkward self. She’s like the sun. I long for her, but I get burned if I get too close. Tell me Sebas, how can I rid myself of this agonizing pain in my heart.”

“Ok Icarus. You saw a hot girl, but are too socially inept to talk to her, so you need me to help you.”

“Well… Yea.”

Why does this guy need a girlfriend? He’s already in no shortage of pussy, considering he is a huge one himself.

“Alright, I’ll help you with this girl. I’ll set up something, so don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks Sebas.”

He sees me off as I walk off towards class.