Oh, sweet! I finally figured it out!

There is a flash of white light, and feel the weight of my duds clinging to me. I asked the pendant if there was a way to restore my clothing, and I guess if it is given to you as a part of your class, you can restore it every so often.

"Finally! No more fighting naked."

I look down at my restored clothes, and start to feel pretty damn pleased with myself. My biker jacket, t-shirt, jeans, belt, boots are all back and in mint condition. I smile from ear to ear as I flutter and smooth out my fresh outfit.

And after a good night's rest, Elementals are back in rare form as well. There is little sign that they were ever hosed down with the concentrated power of fucking sun.

Zazel folds her arms over her chest and taps her foot. "Are you quite done, brisket? I would like to get this over with quickly," she glances over at the tree line a few dozen yards way, her two little Spawn bodyguards following suit. "We're not even in the jungle proper and the humidity is already abysmal. I can't wait to leave this place."

"Yeah, yeah, keep your panties on. Just one more detail."

I pat down my jacket, and feel the sweetest little lump. Reaching inside my finger slides across the cool metal of a fresh pair of aviators. I pull them out, flick them, and slide 'em on real smooth.

"Welcome home, baby."

"Well, I've had enough of this ridiculous show of narcissism," says Zazel, rolling her eyes. "I'm glad you've figured out how your clothing works, but we have more important things to do, so can we please get on with our little escapade? My baby says the Elemental is expecting us."

"Hey, don't get bitchy at me just because you have a hangover. Nobody asked you to drink three bottles of wine."

She huffs and turns away, her Thralls mimicking her in their own slimy way.

Domina approaches with a whole gaggle of clones armed with Bloodiron machetes following behind. "We are ready to embark on your word, Master!"

"Cool. Raelith, you sense any weird shit out there?"

Raelith shakes her head and waves her Bloodiron hammer, a huge, heavy thing the size of a keg, around in the air. "Nothing in particular, Beautiful. But I just know something is out there. I can feel it in my blood."

A couple of her War Bastards are with her. The pint-sized suits of heavy metal midget armor rattle and make brief little laughing and screaming noises, which I guess is their fucked up way of affirming her opinion.

"I guess we're just going to have to roll the dice." I crack my neck and stretch a bit. "Let's get goin'."

Domina and her clones lead the group, hacking away at the foliage so we can move through the forest. The rest of us follow behind, with a few extra Domina clones in the rear. The jungle is hot, sticky, and the trees are so tall, we're mostly in the shade, which is nice, even though I'm not really bothered by it anyway. Maybe that's why I actually enjoy our little romp and stomp our way up the misty slope.

It's hot as fresh cow shit, but the place is an absolute wonder. I saw some pictures in one of my dad's ancient magazines about the Amazon Rainforest, but this shit blows that right out of the water. There are a million different plants and animals everywhere, and all of them are super fucking weird and colorful, like a zoo on acid. There's even a big ass river with huge fucking flowers floating on the surface, and it's absolutely breathtaking.

The only problem is the mist. It gets thicker and thicker the more we go and, I almost walk off the side of a ridge. I save myself at the last second, but it put the fear of god in me for a second.

"Master, are you alright?" Domina asks, running over.

"Yeah. Shit, that was a rush."

"I would ask that you please be more careful, Master. Your safety is important to me."

"A little fall like that wouldn't do much, but thanks."

"Yes," Zazel turns around. "But if you fell down that far, we would be here that much longer. Do mind your step, egg."

"Wow, thanks for your concern."

Raelith looks around a bit, then turns to me. "I don't like this mist, Beautiful. It gets thicker the higher we climb."

"True. Anyone got some magic that can deal with it?"

No one says anything.

"Figures."

We keep on trekkin' through the thickening fog, climbing up the mountain. The mist gets so thick, that we have to walk in a tight little line as the

"How the fuck are we supposed to find anything like this?"

"The domain is close," Zazel says. "My baby says the hike is steep, but we'll be fine once we hit the crest."

"Good. Yo, Raelith, you still not sensing anything?"

"No, Beautiful. Nothing but-"

"AHH! HELP!"

My blood runs cold as one of the maids that was hacking steps to close to the edge of the slope, slips on some loose soil.

"MASTER!"

I reach out on instinct, but stay put. One false, move, and the rest of us might end up joining her.

She falls over the side, crashing through the vegetation on the steep slop and disappearing into the mist below. I don't even hear hear hit the bottom.

"Fuck! That was a clone, right!?"

"It was, thankfully." Domina places a hand on my shoulder from behind me. "Still, it is a frightening to see myself fall to my death."

"Yeah, I bet." A little wave of relief flows through me. "Just stay frosty, girls. This shit is getting narrower by the second and you guys are toast if you slip and fall from here." I look down the ridge for a moment. It's full of mist, but I can feel the abyss practically trying to suck me in, and it makes me shudder a bit.

We push forward in single file, with the clones and Thralls keeping it tight and on point, hacking through the vegetation. The trail gets narrower and the foliage gets thicker, not to mention steeper.

Shit, are we gonna have to start climbing this bitch? I swear if-

Suddenly, the bushes crack and erupt, and a bright red and yellow parrot-like bird bursts out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of us. Its red and yellow tail stream behind it as flies squawking over our heads and out of the ridge.

Raelith warps her hammer into a some sort of ring-shaped blade and hurls it at the graceful creature. The blade glides like a spinning jet through the air in a wicked arc, severing the poor thing in half. The bird's broken body falls out of the air and disappears into the mist.

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"HAHAHA! GLORIOUS HUNT!" Raelith's roar shakes the jungle.

"Yo, what the fuck, Raelith!?" I say, grabbing her shoulder. "The fuck was that for?!"

She turns and grins. "That was a good hunt."

"A hunt?" I sigh. "You just murdered a parrot that randomly flew out of the bushes. It wasn't threatening us."

"Hmph. Perhaps on your world, the birds are weak and pathetic. But on Astraea, any beast could prove deadly. We cannot underestimate them. Did you learn nothing from last night?"

"Dude, that giraffe dickhead was a monster, right? What you just clipped was just a regular little jungle bird."

"Perhaps. But it is better not to take chances."

"Whatever. Can you try to be a little less savage from now on? We don't want to, like, fuck with the ecosystem or whatever."

"Eco- what?"

"Just try not to kill everything you see."

Reverberating metal sings through the air as Raelith flips her hair."If you say so, Beautiful." Raelith reaches out and catches her parrot slayer without even looking. "But don't expect me to hold back when the monsters come out of the woodwork."

We keep on climbing. The mist gets even thicker, and we're holding onto each other as we climb. Soon, though, the trees and bushes start to thin a bit, and the ground starts to level.

One of the clones stops hacking, and pushes ahead into the milky white mist.

"Yo, where you goin'?"

She ignores me as she disappears from view.

"You listening!?"

I wait for her to shout back, but she doesn't say anything. Everyone stops in their tracks.

I turn around. "Domina?"

She shakes her head.

"Master," the clone's voice rings happily through the mist, "you must see this!"

We push through the thick white wall, which suddenly breaks and clears completely, as if we're passing through some kind of curtain from one room to another.

My jaw drops. "Holy shit."

Below us is a colorful, sunbathed valley filled to the brim with all kinds of leafy plants with shit tons of colorful flowers and fruits of all shapes and sizes. And smack dab in the middle of it all is an enormous stone pyramid, covered with all kinds of plants and vines. It looks like some ancient Aztec shit from Indiana Jones or something, except it looks new and shiny. It glows with a green aura that's eye-catching even in the sunlight. A long-ass flight of glistening steps lead up to the entrance just short of very top of it.

Zazel sighs. "At least we can see our destination now."

Domina and Raelith step forward, letting out their fair share of oohs and aahs as they take in the the sight.

Finally Domina turns to me. "Master, shall I lead us to the pyramid?"

"Yeah. And keep an eye out for monsters. It doesn't look like there are any crystals around here, but I don't want to get jumped again."

"Yes, Master. You heard him, sisters," she double claps, "forward!"

We all file in after her as the clones and thralls cut the path to the valley. Once we're down there, it feels a lot like we're in a field or orchard rather than a rainforest, but I don't give a damn because of the beautiful view and lack of suffocating mist.

The closer we get to the pyramid, the bigger it looks. When we finally reach the bottom, it seems even larger, and I can barely make out the top. There is a really long and wide flight of stairs leading up to what I guess is probably the entrance.

"Brisket!" Zazel snaps out. "I demand you put your brutish strength to some actual good use and carry me up that monstrous flight of stairs!"

"I ain't no taxi, lady."

"This is absurd!" she bitches. "What is even the purpose of this ridiculous climb!?"

"I dunno. To get to the top?"

"Don't get smart! If you really want to-"

Zazel squeals like an angry little piggy as Raelith scoops her up and puts her on her shoulders like a little kid. "I'll take you, sis! You will find no better ride in all of Astraea!"

The short Elemental is big mad, but doesn't do much more than pout as Raelith starts climbing. I laugh at her, and Domina does too, until she notices me watching.

I take the lead with the Elemental of War and her cargo, and the maids and thralls take up the rear. My boots make a cool clanking sound when I walk, which I dig, and when we finally get to the landing at the top, I see a huge stone arch, and a wide, yawning black passage. It glows with a cool green light that glitters from thin cracks in the walls.

We hear the sound of something sploshing around from inside.

"There you are, precious!" Zazel pats Raelith. "Let me down, you oaf!"

Raelith shrugs and places Zazel on the ground, who walks toward the entrance with her arms held wide.

A little Spawn bounces out from the entrance and leaps into her arms. Zazel giggles and squeezes it, causing a cluster of its amber-colored eyes to bulge. The other two ones that are with her jump into their sibling, making bulge even more.

"Well done, precious! We'll be heading home soon." Zazel's eyes light up. "My precious little baby found the Elemental for us."

Domina and I exchange glances. "Oh, that's fantastic," I say, faking enthusiasm. "By the way, is this Elemental cool? She's not gonna try to wreck our shit as soon as we get in there, yeah?"

"I don't believe she is hostile, but she's staying tight-lipped, which I suppose means she is reserving her judgement for when she meets you." She puts down her butt baby and turns, pointing a finger strait me. "So be on your best behavior egg! If that collar of yours is to be believed, we have less than a month left before those Liberation characters come here, and we can't afford to squander time! Not to mention I don't want have been burned half to death for nothing!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'll stay cool if she stays cool."

Zazel stares at me, not in irritation as she usually does, but with an expectant look, as if she's waiting for me to say something.

I turn up my palms. "What?"

"First impressions are important. Do you remember who she is?"

"Uh, you said she's the Elemental of Nurture, right?"

She narrows her eyes. "Nature, you idiot." She blinks hard and shakes her head. "And I don't suppose you would remember her True Name?"

"How the hell would I know that?"

"Oh, you don't know it? You knew my mine. And the bootlicker's."

"That's different." I feel a tiny flame flicker in my chest.

"How so? If you knew ours, then why not hers?"

My core starts acting up for real now. "Your mother's smelly pussy, that's why."

Her face scrunches hard. "What is that supposed to mean?"

I start to head in. "Like you said, we don't have time to waste, and I'm not playing 20 Questions with your annoying ass. Let's go."

Burning with agitation, I roll through the entrance and down the corridor, and the other Elementals fall in line after a few seconds.

As we pass under the stone arch, we enter the tunnel and a warm, pleasant aroma fills the air. Domina's clones and our little handful of thralls file in behind us. But all I can think about is Zazel's bullshit.

Zazel thinks she's so smart, but if she really was, then she'd know when to shut the fuck up.

Soon, we enter a spacious and ornate chamber bathed in a gentle green light. It's impressive enough to take my thoughts off of Zazel, and I take a few moments to soak it all in.

On the walls, there are of of animals. The Catbirds and Girafficorns are there, along with the Bullpigdogs, but most look completely unfamiliar to me.But one creature stands out to me the most: a big furry animal with a body a long, lizard-like body and a stretched out, droopy face like an anteater's. Even though it looks pretty goofy, I can't help but feel a bit unsettled by it.

"I don't have time to play 20 Questions with your annoying ass. Let's Goooo!" says Zazel in a deep voice, clearly trying to sound as stupid as she thinks I am.

I turn to her, ready to lay her out. "Zazel-"

"Just a joke, egg. Now hurry along," she pats a pedestal with a green orb hovering above it in the middle of the chamber.

I look around. "Hurry along to where, exactly? I don't see no doors."

She shrugs and points to the green marble. "We have to touch the orb."

Domina walks forward. "Allow me, Lady Zazel." She places her hands on the orb. "Please come over here, Master."

I get my ass over there and she rubs is a few times. The room starts to vibrate little, the ground shifts, and the middle of the room starts sliding down like an elevator.

The magical lift takes us deeper and deeper into the pyramid's base, and seems to go on forever. But just when I'm about to ask how long this little ride is going to be, the darkness of the stone shaft gives way and opens to up into an absolutely massive cavern. The whole thing probably goes on for a mile in each direction. There are glowing plants and mushrooms everywhere, and a lake of shimmering turquoise water is stretched out under us.

"Holy shit, the lights here are like Central on meth!"

"I could make quite the concoction with some of these plants."

"Wonder if I can eat any of those mushrooms... Oh, look at those fruits!"

"If you find something safe to eat, I can prepare for you any way you like, Lady Raelith!"

"Yeah, this is a pretty sick view, ain't it?" I turn to look at Zazel. Her eyes are fixed on the far end of the huge-ass cave. I turn to look, and I spot what she's looking at.

I lift up my shades and squint my eyes. I make out a tall, lean woman with green hair wearing some kind of colorful outfit. She's on an island that's jutting out of the water in the middle of it all, sitting cross legged on a mushroom or something.

I guess that's the Elemental.

The elevator finally stops, locking into a platform connected to the island by a stone bridge. We waste no time in getting on with things and make the trek across the long bridge. Once we're close enough, the woman stands.

Her skin glows with a healthy tan. Her face is both strong and feminine. Her emerald green eyes, big and almond-shaped, seem to pierce through everything as she watches our little party walk toward her. Her hair is long and straight flowing down naturally like a waterfall, and she wears a beautiful, but modest crown made up of leaves and flowers. She clinging tightly to her lean, tall body is a leather top and shorts made with the furs of some kind of colorful animal.

She has an elegant beauty to her, and her eyes are kind, yet fierce. Like all the other Elementals, she's pretty damn hot, and basically any dude back on Earth probably would crawl across used syringes and hot coals just to smell one of her farts.

I give her a wide, cool wave. "Yo, can we talk for a minute?"

She nods slowly, and a gentle smile graces her lips. "Of course. I have been expecting you, Hero."