"Pathetic! Absolutely pathetic!" Raelith growls like an animal and throws her axe across the river and into a tree. The tree cracks in half and makes a shit ton of noise as it falls over. "How could I have been so negligent, so undisciplined! I knew someone was watching us, yet I did nothing!"

"How the fuck were they even able to watch us without us seeing them!?" I'm pacing around, doing everything I can to keep my shit together. "I thought they were still on Earth!"

Del strokes Pinky reassuringly, but she looks like the one who needs reassurance. "But the Hero Pendant said-"

"Yeah, I know what it said! They must've tricked it or fucked with it somehow!" I slam my fist into a tree and it cracks in half. "FUCK! Even if we moved as fast as we could, and nothing got in our way, we'd still never fucking make it!"

The bushes rustle, and a wide-eyed Domina walks through with a red-eyed Zazel right behind her. "Master! Is Order truly in danger!? If she dies, all is-"

"Yeah, you don't need to fucking remind me!" I pick up a fat rock and hurl it into oblivion. "How the hell is this shit happening!?"

"Isn't there anything we can do, Master?" She says, her voice shaky and fearful.

"If there was, don't you think I'd be doing it right now!?" I yell at her a little louder than I want to, and she slinks back a little. Then my core starts to burn. "That's it. My power. If we're gonna lose anyway, I might as well-"

Zazel sighs, seeming more burnt out than concerned. "Wait, a minute, Egg. There may be another way." She turns to Del. "Nature. You can control animals, right? Aren't there any that can travel quickly and support our weight? Perhaps even some that fly? I saw some rather hearty beasts during our travels."

Del ponders for a bit, staring into Pinky's curious, worried little eyes.

I turn up my palms. "Well?!"

She continues to stare at Pinky. Or perhaps through him.

"We're wasting time! Raelith can you make a flying machine or some shit?"

Raelith spits. "No! Curse my lack of mana."

"I think I have an idea." Del finally blinks.

Raelith folds her arms. "If you have an idea, spit it out. This is no time to hesitate!"

"There is a creature that will suit our needs well, but not many of them live here."

"So, what are you getting at?" I ask, a little more calm now.

Del turns to me, her eyes shining bright. "I believe I can use my magic to call a flock of them. We can fly on their backs to reach Order before she falls!"

I feel a bit of hope wash over me. "Fuck it - it's worth a try. Let's do it."

Del smiles and nods gently as she hands me Pinky. "I don't want to hurt the little one's ears."

I hold Pinky close and back away. Del raises her hands, closes her eyes, and lets a deep, echoing meow. As her voice carries through the jungle, we all wait and listen.

At first, there is nothing. Then, the wind starts to pick up, and a few birds and bugs start to make noise. Then, a whole chorus of birds and bugs, and soon, it seems the whole jungle is alive with the sounds of animals.

A small herd of catbirds appears, meowing and flying in circles above our heads. Del opens her eyes, turns to me, and smiles. "They will do whatever we wish." She waves at them, and the red, green, pink, blue, and yellow winged housecats land next to us and immediately begin playing and rolling around.

My core flares a little. "Yo, what are we gonna do with them? Hang on their tails?"

Del is totally unphased. "I'm not done yet."

The rest of us look on impatiently as she reaches into her little leather satchel and pulls out a few tiny red mushrooms. She waves at the catbirds, and they line up in a rough queue, passing by Del as she puts one of the mushrooms on the back of their necks.

"What's that crap gonna do?"

"They're my Thralls." She says, punctuating her sentence by planting the last mushroom. " Once they make contact, they place the animals permanently under my control." She stands up. "Now, for the last step. Please stand clear of our new friends."

Everyone backs up as Del hold up her palms and takes a deep breath. Then, she begins to glow green as she lets out a deep, gentle purring sound. One by one, the catbird rub against her and she gives each one a couple of strokes, then something really wild starts to happen.

The catbirds begin to shake all over. Their hair stands on end, and their tails, ears, and wings start to vibrate like crazy. Then, their bodies begin to grow, their fur and feathers get thicker, their eyes become bright, and their muscles get pumped. In less than a minute, the cute little catbirds are the size of elephants. Del stops glowing, and the catbirds are all purring like giant kittens. They look kind of like those big fat fancy Persian ones I saw in one of my mom's ancient Cat Fancy magazines.

Del walks up to me and smiles. "We can leave any time you are ready."

"Shit, Del, you're amazing. You might have just saved the world with that!"

Domina applauds as Raelith and Zazel look on in surprise, and Pinky is pointing his head at all the big cats, as if he's trying to decide which one he wants.

I give the catbirds a quick looking over. "Okay, so which one is the fastest?"

Del purses her lips and shrugs. "They're all roughly the same."

"Okay, how the hell do we ride them?"

Del walks up to the green cat and grabs the base of its feathery wing. She steps into its long, thick fur and begins to climb up its side, with the catbird not really caring at all. When she reaches its neck, she sits on its shoulders and leans forward. "The fur is thick and easy to grip. Just stay low and you will be fine."

"I like this one," says Raelith as she stomps toward the red one, "it is a deep crimson, like Beautiful's blood-"

The huge fluffy animal's eyes narrow as it hisses and swipes at Raelith with a claw, which she quickly deflects with a materialized shield.

"You dare challenge your new master, you foul creature!? I would use your tail as a harness!"

The cat hisses again and yowls deeply, hair standing up on end as its back arches wickedly.

Del hops off hers and pets the offended creature. With each stroke, it seems loosen up a bit more, but it doesn't take its eyes of Raelith for even a second.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Dell turns to Raelith. "It would seem this one has a history with you."

"What? Impossible. I've never seen this creature a day in my life. I demand you force it to submit to me immediately."

The catbird rubs it's massive furry head against Del's body. "War, this one recalls almost being killed by a weapon you threw at it."

"Foolishness. This animal is as large as it is delusional. Perhaps I should choose another."

"Quit fucking around!" I yell. "We gotta go!" I give mine - the pink one - a quick pat and pull a bit on its mane, but the big furball doesn't notice at. "Dell, how do I get this thing to move!"

Del gives me and the cat a smooth, arching wave. "Go, Leader! We'll be right behind you!"

The cat gives a loud, friendly meow. Then, it looks looks up at the canopy, lowers its ass, tightens up, and leaps into the air like a missile.

I hold on as tight as I've ever held onto anything as it rockets through the jungle canopy in the blink of an eye. I feel the giant leaves and branches scrape me all at once as we shoot through.

"Holy shit!"

The wind rushes into me, and I feel like I'm on my way to the fucking moon. I look down, and the jungle lights look like tiny bits of glitter.

"Oh, fuck!"

I feel Pinky shaking in my jacket, but there ain't no time to comfort him.

Just as I feel gravity start to threaten us, the cat begins to pump its wings, each flap pounding and pushing the air with a thick, mighty woosh.

Finally we stabilize a little. I give Pinky a few pats thought my jacket as I look around and try to spot Althea's tower. I can see the whole jungle from here, and way off in the distance, the savanna. I also catch the red, blue, and green crystals dotting the landscape. Then, I spot the dimmest pale white glow on the far horizon.

Althea, we're coming! Just hold on! You've gotta fucking hold on!

My core flares up, and my fists grip the catbird's mane even more. My throat and stomach tighten and I start to feel a little nauseous.

Althea, I'm gonna save your ass, even though you jumped ship. I thought you were my friend and my right hand, but you left us behind, and that hurt - a lot. You were right, though, as you always are. It's true. I'm dangerous - a loose cannon. There's something seriously bad lurking inside of me, and I'm not sure if I can really control it.

But I'm not gonna let that asshole control me or define me. I've learned some things, and I'm not just living for revenge anymore. I have a new reason to fight, and I want to tell you what it is because I want you to be a part of it. No, I need you to be a part of it.

So please don't fucking die.

----------------------------------------

As the catbird and I slice through the air, I turn around to see the others are catching up to me. Del is on her green cat, Raelith is riding the yellow one, Domina is on the Red one, and Zazel is on top of the blue one.

The catbirds cut the wind like a knife as we soar over everything, but it feels like we're crawling. After a few minutes, I start to get impatient.

"Can't this fucker fly any faster?"

The big pink furball makes a low gurgle sound in response.

"I hope that means yes." I lean forward and pull on its mane, and the catbird begins to pump its wings faster.

It really picks up the speed, and I have to tighten my grip even more and squeeze my legs against its body. I look back, and the others have been left in the dust.

I turn back around and lean into the wind, and Pinky lets out a shaky little cry as we pick up even more speed.

As we fly, the landscape beneath us begins to change. The greenery below us gives way to a wide, moonlight-bathed savannah, and I can even see a little bit of the red glow from Raelith's mountain way far off.

But the beauty of it all does almost nothing to for my nerves. Every hour that passes is torturous. I keep watching the glow on the horizon, wondering if the Limp Dicks are already there and how Althea is holding up. If she's holding up. Whatever the case, I'm hours away and there ain't shit I can do except hope this giant cat's wings don't give out.

I watch the sky for any signs of the Limp Dicks, but the sky stays quiet and clear. No explosions, no lights, no nothin'.

Where are those crazy assholes?

That's when I see them. Dozens of purple sparks flicker from out of the deep blue night; standing out even among the sea of colorful stars. They fall slowly, leaving long purple and violet streaks behind them.

What the fuck is that shit?

Whatever they are begin to slow down, and I notice that they are actually several smaller, identical objects grouped together. As they fall, the groups split up, but I can't see what what they do or where they go after that.

My core flares and quivers, and can feel the heat spreading through my whole body. They're here. They're actually fucking here.

"Come on!" I pull the catbird's mane, "Let's get moving!"

The pink fucker yowls and begins to flap its wings even harder. I look back and the others are still a couple hundred feet behind me, but they've definitely picked up some steam, especially Raelith, who I can hear laughing and screaming like a crazy barbarian even from here with the wind blowing in my ears.

I turn around and face the catbird's fluffy ears. "Hey, pump the gas, fleabag!"

The big guy yowls, as if to say, "jump off and walk if you don't like it!"

I give up, and turn back to the tower, focusing in on it like a hawk. C'mon Althea. Stay alive. Please.

----------------------------------------

After another half hour of flying, I finally start to make out the shape of Althea's tower. The light from her crystal-like spire shines out into the sky, and the whole area is glowing like a silver sun.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that the tower is still standing, but then I realize the its is surrounded by a bunch of tiny, flickering lights - and they're moving.

My core roils and my chest tightens. It's finally fucking happening. I'm here to save Althea, but ain't forgot about your asses. Your bills are overdue, motherfuckers. And I'm coming to collect.

My core is really starting to warm up now, and I can feel Pinky fidgeting in my jacket.

Ain't no point in denying it. As soon as I get a good look at one of those fuckers, I'm gonna lose my shit. There's no way I ain't gonna go a little crazy. And I know, deep down, that if I give that fucker in my head one inch, he's gonna take the whole fucking world.

A bit of panic surges through me. I can't use my power, but I need it to win. The Elementals are too weak, and the Thralls are all off looking for resources. It's on me to win this shit.

If I don't use this fucking power of mine, they're gonna fill us full of lead and win the war is soon as we show our faces. My blood is really flowing, and I'm breathing hard and fast. But if I do use the power, I'm gonna lose control. That fucker isn't gonna play around if he shows up again.

"FUCK!" I growl through my teeth. My core heats up a little more. Godfuckingdammit! I was screwed from the second they got here!

Pinky kicks me. But it doesn't make me mad. It cools me down a little, if anything.

There's a solution here. There's gotta be.

I wrack my brain, delving as far back into my mind as I possibly can. I have time, might as well use it to try my noodle.

I remember what God told me after I died. I think of his words, the ones about surviving, making sure Althea and Zazel stay alive and.... Keeping order and chaos in balance.

Something clicks. It's sluggish and rusty, but it clicks. But I need it to click one more time.

There has to be a middle ground. There's gotta be a way I can use this power without getting out of control. I need to find a way to harness just a little bit of that strength without going apeshit. Or maybe I can go apeshit but control the direction of my fury, or... I don't know. There has to be something I can do, some trick that can keep that fucker from coming out and taking me over.

Pinky kicks me again.

"I know, I know. I'm working on it."

Middle ground... Balance... In between two places... Or two things?

There's one - or maybe two - things that I can think of that even have a snowball's chance in hell of helping me: the Dice.

Memories flash in my vision, and my core flickers. If you get Snake Eyes, you're fucked. I did everything I could to put that shit out of my mind and keep it there. But they're my only chance - I just know it.

The memories won't stop. They insist on showing me all the embarassing, arrogant, and stupid shit I said and did. Shit that hurt everyone I cared about. Shit that killed me.

Pinky kicks me again.

I rub him a bit through my jacket. "Dude, chill."

I can't dwell on that crap right now. There's no choice. 'Sides, should be okay if I don't overdo it - It's all about balance. Not sure if it's gonna work, but I have to try. It's the only thing to try.

Popping and zipping.

I snap back to reality when something hard and fast strikes me in the shoulder.

"ARGH! SHIT!" I sink down, shielding Pinky with my free arm.

The cracking and popping doesn't stop, and soon streaks of orange fly up at us from the darkness below like a storm of embers.

The catbird is yowls and hisses as its thick body takes an absolute shower of hits. It sounds like marbles raining down on raw meat.

"Fuck!"

Another hits me in the fucking foot. Then the bicep -the one that's shielding Pinky.

"Motherfuckers!"

I sink even lower, and pull on the cat's mane as hard as I can without tearing out the fur. I yank it left and right, but it doesn't want to change course.

In fact, it doesn't respond at all.

"No! NO!"

I feel the big animal going still. The muscles weaken, and the wings go limp. Gravity is taking over.

I pull its fur so hard I tear it out, but there's nothing I can do. The cat's been shot - and shot bad. I can see the blood pouring from its neck and body.

He's dead.

We fall out of the sky, spinning and twirling as the air as the abyss rushes up to meet us.