Fand was in shock. She did not know it. There was a dull ringing in her head. It had been there since the moment power and light had exploded from her. When she had faced Angs, she had left that confrontation badly injured. What happened with Folgen had not left her physically damaged, but it had cut through her mind, soul and emotions in a way she could not yet grasp. She felt like she could not breathe. The room was too full. Glad as she was for all of them, she wanted them all someplace else.
The men could not leave, they were stuck there until Appocca could smooth things over with someone named Commander Rhys. It seemed some treaties had been broken when Pyre, Loren and Rufus trespassed beyond the Wall. Seated in the chair beside her, Uncle Wert held Zel. He was beaming and talking the most ridiculous baby talk Fand had ever heard. Surely he had not spoken to her and Zog like that when they were babies. And Pyre, Keeper, she wished he would stop looking at her with his concerned eyes. Only Loren and Rufus sat silent lost in their own thoughts. The goat was asleep at the foot of the bed. Crowed, too crowded. Fand felt the urge to scream rising in her throat. Would Appocca never come?
As her irritation mounted something else was rising inside of her. It seemed the correct response to being rescued should be gratitude, but she was not grateful. This moment in time was leading her to something she did not want to face. The moment Loren laid claim to his sister. What would she do, what would she say? Before Zel entered her life all she wanted was to be safe and at home. Only home was no longer Tashe. Home was wherever Zel was. Would Loren let her be part of Zel’s life? And if so in what capacity? She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the sight and sounds of the others.
The door opened and closed. Appocca greeted her and she opened her eyes. He looked around the room and said, “All of you can go to the dining hall for Supper. Commander Rhys required a stiff fine, but he has waved punishment. We are all very fortunate. Now, I need to speak to Fand. Wert give her the baby and take the boys with you.”
Reluctantly Uncle Wert gave Fand the wiggling baby. He kissed the child and then he kissed Fand. This gesture was so infrequent Fand felt tears come to her eyes as he left the room. Zel looked up at her. Her eyes had faded to an even paler shade of blue. Soon they would be the color of Fand’s own eyes. Beyond her gaze she could feel the tug of Pyre . She glanced up at him. His eyes were seeking reassurance, a reassurance she was almost too weary to give, but some how, she managed to pull genuine smile to her lips. Reassured, he smiled. His entire face lit up. Loren pushed him forward through the door. Last was Rufus, he bowed to Appocca and then closed the door behind him.
Appocca took the chair beside Fand and asked, “How are you?”
“Tired.”
Appocca leaned a bit closer and asked, “Do you feel up to telling me what happened? I couldn’t get a straight answer out of Commander Rhys.”
The memory of the smell of blood filled Fand’s nostrils. She said, “I would rather not.”
“I think it best you do Fand. Things have happened to you that you don’t understand, and perhaps if I know more I could help you sort it out. At least some of it.”
For several moments Fand remained silent. To say the words out loud frightened her. They might unleash some darkness within her she would rather not know about or have confirmed. “I really don’t want to.”
“I won’t force you but I must tell you I think I need to know. I can not protect you and Zel properly if I don’t know what happened.”
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A slow sigh came from deep within Fand. For Zel, she would speak, but only because of Zel. She drew the sleepy baby closer to her. The baby’s soft sweet breathe brushed against Fand’s neck. “Where do you want me to begin?”
Appocca leaned back in the chair. “Start with the absence of your wings.”
Her wings! That seemed like such a long time ago. And what of Petran? She had not even thought of Petran since she arrived. She looked up at Appocca and asked, “How is Petran?“
Appocca smiled. “He is on the mend. It seems healing you sent him into some sort of restorative cocoon, at least that is what he calls it. We thought he was in a coma, and so he seemed for days, then one morning, he opened his eyes and told Dr. Kran he was hungry. He has even put on a little weight. Now, tell me about the loss of your wings.”
Thankful for Petran’s improved health, Fand felt better able to tell her story now. She said, “I don’t know what happened to my wings. I woke up on the morning Audra was supposed to take me to where ever the winged people live. I don’t know what happened to the wings. They disappeared during the time Gruin left our cave and came back with some food for our breakfast. Audra arrived. Since I was unable to fly, she left me to go seek help. Only she never brought help. Why hadn’t she brought help? Had something happened to her? She asked, “Did that Commander make any mention about a winged woman named Audra?”
Appocca shook his head. “No, he was not at all generous with his information.”
“I hope she is okay.”
“I do too. I will see if I can uncover anything.”
The look Appocca gave her bid he to continue. From there Fand recounted her strange exit out of the mountain and finding Sassafras at the rim of the Field of Ice. The rest she rushed through. Especially the part about Folgen and what the Militia had done to the Sonpur. Even so, the sounds and the smells of the awful morning made her feel so sick, sick to her very core. She rushed to the part where Resen arrived and took her away from the terrible slaughter, for a slaughter it had been. The beasts had never had a chance. Fand said, “They should have taken them prisoner, they should not have killed them like that.”
The Head Councilman’s face looked grim. “Commander Rhys told me nothing about that.” Appocca shook his head. “Under Folgen’s command the Sonpur have long terrorized the land Beyond. The people there have zero sympathy for Beasts. I fear they want them all dead.”
“All?”
The question hung between them. Fand saw Fels and Gruin in her mind. She did not want them dead. “Someone must stop them!“
Appocca’s eyes narrowed. He asked, “Why are you so sympathetic to creatures who captured you twice?”
“Because, I saw what Folgen was to them. He lied to them and controlled them. They were like dogs with a bad master. Gruin was very good to me both times I was with her.” For some reason Fand did not tell Appocca about Fels being able to speak. She did not know why she held on to the information, but something deep inside her bid her to remain silent.
Appocca’s voice broke into her thoughts, he said, “Fand I think I can tell you why your wings disappeared, why such strange things have happened to you. According to legend the person who uses the power of Jerim’s Relic is pierced by it when it explodes. The stone invades the body and exerts itself whenever there is a need. You needed wings for a while and when you didn’t need them and they no longer served a purpose it took them. While Resen was part of the process, I don’t think what happened was his fault. I think it was the will of Jerim’s Relic.
This was not what Fand wanted to hear. Having wings had been bad enough. But this! She had suspected some mischief from the relic, but not this! Keeper it must not be true! Frightened Fand asked, “Will it always be with me?”
Aware of her fear, Appocca said, “From what I have read, the stone will not destroy you. It can do you some harm in its mission, like the way it took your fingers when it killed Angs. It hurt you and it saved you. It was the force that threw you out of the burning building. I believe it was the force that revived Petran when he laid his hand on you to heal you. The relic is good. Remember it is good and it has the power of protection.” He paused and then added, “I must tell you though that it has never inhabited a woman before. All stories are of men. I am not sure what this will mean for you. Men and women are such different creatures.”
Completely shaken, Fand turned her face away from Appocca. She tried to focus on the up and down movement of Zel’s tender soft spot on the top of her head. The word protection began to echo in her mind. The relic had saved her twice, how many more times would it put her in harms path and then jerk her out of it?