Chapter 13. Induction
Fand had gone quickly to her room. The warmth and comfort of Pyre still clung to her. To think, she could have had a life time of his company. She had been a fool, a complete fool. No she did not love him like he was magic, but she did love him and he had had been right about her change of heart. Unfortunately she had come to realize his wisdom too late. What would become of her now?
As for the strange man in the forest, she felt a fearful resignation. Even now, she felt something was off. Something had broken through that should not have. She did not know or understand what the something was, but it was coming for her.
Was there anyway to undo the things her selfish prayers had set in motion? Why had the Keeper granted her selfish prayers? Had he? Really? Or was what she experiencing the consequences of her own actions? Consequences that had bled into Zog’s life and Pyre’s. Her guilt was so strong, she did not even stop to consider that the consequences that had unfolded where also due to the choices of Zog and Pyre.
Miserable and afraid of what harm she might do next, she lay face down with her arms spread wide and whispered, "Is there any chance of restitution? If so, please show me.”
Down below the front door banged opened. Fand heard the scrape of her bow and quiver as it was replaced to its peg. Next, she heard Zog's step. He was coming up the ladder. Instinctively she scooted to the far corner of the attic and pushed her body into the shadow of her bureau. She prayed he did not see her.
Zog's head popped through the opening in the floor. He looked around. "I know you are up here."
Fand didn't answer.
"Are you all right?" Zog climbed into the room. "Come on Fand stop hiding."
She did not want to talk to him, or see him. What she really wanted to do was hurl something at him. She watched him crawl closer to her. His eyes were adjusting to the dim light of the attic. He squinted. "There you are."
Though discovered, Fand remained silent. His eyes met hers. It was the first time he had looked directly at her in months. What she saw hurt so much. He was not the same, he would never be the same. She did not know this stranger and he frightened her. She wanted Zog back, her Zog. Deep down she knew that Zog was gone forever. If only some miracle, some penance existed. If only, the Keeper would grant her her last request. It had not been selfish like her previous prayers.
Zog moved toward her. Their eyes still held. He was not angry with her. Something, he wanted something. He smelled of lavender. He dropped to his knees and crawled to her hiding place. Two tears slid down her cheek. When she was little he used to come to her like this after she had been spanked. He touched her arm. She wanted to bury her head in his chest like she used to until he opened his mouth. His breath smelled of spirits. How many times had Uncle Wert struck her in a drunken rage? Too many. In a low but firm voice she said, "Don't touch me."
Zog removed his hand. "I'm not going to hurt you. That woman you saw. I love her Fand. It is not what you think."
"She is old."
He smiled and said, "Perhaps, but she makes me feel whole...like home."
"You have a home, its here."
He shook his head. "Is it?" Before she could ask him what he meant he said, "Now, tell me about the man you met in the woods. Pyre told me he just vanished."
This was why he had come looking for her. It was not out of concern for her, but out of curiosity. It seemed he still had a thirst for the supernatural even though he claimed he had lost all faith. She asked,"Why do you care?"
Zog's voice became gentle, "I'll never stopped caring about you."
"That is funny Zog. Real funny. You don't care me. You haven’t cared since you hit me. You don’t care about anything anymore unless it is sinful. And," her voice broke, "it is all my fault."
"What?"
"You did not get accepted because I prayed that you would be denied, and the Keeper granted my request. It is a prayer I want to take back more than anything."
For a moment Zog didn't speak or move and then he laughed. "Oh, Little One, my denial was not your fault. I believed in lies. Trusted a liar." He cupped her chin with his hand. It had been so long since he had last done that. Softly he said, "Perhaps your prayer saved me. If not for you I would not have met Renate."
The woman's name was Renate. It was a foreign name, Fand had not heard before. It was odd that the day they had met, neither of them had spoken their name.
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He let go of her chin. "Now, about the ghost?"
Such confusion twisted inside of Fand. On some level she was afraid to tell him. What if he went after him? The man possessed power, he might hurt Zog. She must be careful with her words. "I don’t think he was a ghost. He was very tall and handsome. He had long black graying hair and eyes like mine.” Her mind drifted back, and she felt the man’s touch again. There had been power in his touch. She looked at Zog, his face had changed from curiosity to concern.
He asked, "Did he speak to you?"
“No, but he healed a scratch on my cheek."
"Which cheek?"
Fand turned her face to him and pointed. Again, he took her face in his hands. He studied her cheek. His eyes narrowed. He said, "Perhaps everything Jerue told me was not a lie." He dropped his hands.
She asked, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"There is a legend of a Nephilim who kidnaps young women. No one has seen or heard from this creature since the Council Wall was built."
Would a man that was half angel and half human be evil?He would be evil if the angel father that had sired him had raped his mother. But what if the angel had loved her? Would that still create evil? The man, had been kinder to her than Zog had been in months. A sudden longing pulled at her. She wanted to see him again, she wanted to be held by him again.
Zog said, "He may have been just a flesh and blood man, and then again he might be something else. You must promise me that you will not go out into the woods any more alone."
Not go into the woods? He had no right to restrict her. Besides, he was never home anyway. She lied, "I won't."
"Good."
How arrogant he was to think she would obey him.
*
The next morning as Fand was making her way to the Meeting Hill, Gregor Zwart offered her a ride in his cart. Fand agreed and then was immediately sorry. Gregor scooted very close to her when he placed the lap robe over the both of them. He smiled at her and said, "You look beautiful in the morning light."
She mumbled, "Thank you," and scooted away from him. When they arrived at the Meeting Hill Fand made sure she jumped out of the cart before Gregor could help her down. He seemed disappointed, but she did not care. She would not make the mistake of riding home with him. A crowd had already gathered on the Hill. Today was an important day in their region. Their physical and spiritual futures would all be guided by the young men who were to be inducted. Fand pushed through the crowd to her seat and sat down. Above the noise and crush of the gathering the Ruhe Mountains stood swathed in a frosty haze. Their white peaks reflected the morning light. She had always longed to see her mother’s homeland. Pyre had told her that he would take her there one day. Pyre kept his promises. He would have done it.
A shadow fell across Fand. She looked up. It was Jerue. He smiled down at her. Fand did not return the smile. He said, "I am delighted to see you this morning."
Before she could stop herself she asked, "Why?"
A strange light came into Jerue's eyes, a vibrant pulsing light that he quickly extinguished. He said, "I am glad to see you have not lost your faith."
"Like the rest of my family?"
Jerue nodded. "You are wiser than the rest."
"Perhaps, perhaps not." Fand looked away from him. His hand cupped her face. This gesture was so like Zog's it unsettled her. He turned her face to his. His eyes held hers.
He said, "Yes you are," and then he let go of her face. Jerue had never shown her any kindness. In fact he had barely even acknowledged her existence when he and Zog had been chummy. She watched Jerue stride to the podium. From behind her, she heard the clucking of Zolla's tongue. The older woman ushered her girls passed Fand and to their seat. She, as usual, did not bother to greet Fand.
Gregor Zwart blew a single note on his recorder. It was time for the Ceremony to begin.
Fand pressed her hands together. She turned to watch the Apprentices march up the aisle. Pyre's body was stiff and his eyes stared straight ahead. He didn't even look at her. This hurt, especially after their encounter last night.
The seven Apprentices lined up before the congregation. Jerue stepped beside them. He raised his hands to heaven and began to chant. His voice quivered with emotion. It settled itself in Fand's spine. A peculiar ache radiated through her entire being. Abruptly, Jerue fell silent. He looked directly at Fand and said, "More than seven destinies will be settled this day." Then he began to chant again. The unfamiliar words seemed to pull Fand into them and swirl around her. This was not like the peaceful feeling she had experienced when she felt the Keeper's divine comfort. This felt overwhelming and suffocating.
Jerue bowed his head. He uttered a prayer. When he raised his head, he once again looked at Fand. This time he smiled. Fand did not return his smile. Jerue moved over to where Elder Zwar stood and he took the vial of Anointing Oil. He prayed over each Apprentice. When Jerue reached Pyre, Pyre shot Fand a glance. Immediately Fand felt his fear and she realized he did not want this honor. Some where inside her she had suspected this, but it had been easier to believe he did. Had her prayer also thrown him into a life he didn't want? Please Keeper no!
Pyre stumbled over his vows. His voice was unsteady and he sounded like he wanted to cry. Fand watched Jerue place the oil on Pyre's forehead. The instant Jerue touched him, Pyre seemed to grow calmer. Jerue moved to Rube Johan.
When he had anointed the last Apprentice, Jerue turned back to the crowd. In a loud voice he recited the words of the Ancient Tongue. In her mind Fand translated them as he spoke:
These servants now reside in the will of the Keeper
He knows their souls and brings them out of death
Into life
The Keeper has called these few unto Himself.
Fand couldn't help but wonder, What about Zog? He had believed he was one of the few, now he believed in nothing.
Gregor began to play the recorder. The assembly stood and followed the Apprentices down the aisle and to the small bonfire at the base of it. Above the bonfire was a silver challis suspended from a cord and two poles. Jerue and the seven Apprentices formed a circle around the fire. Behind them the men of the congregation formed a larger circle. The women and children where only allowed to watch. Slowly the men began to dance. They locked their arms over each other's shoulder. Pyre danced beside Jerue. He looked green to Fand.
The men began to sing. Jerue raised his voice above the others. It was pure and strong, he cried out, "Oy uasnari"
Pyre's terror filled eyes locked on Fand. A terrible thought occurred to her as she met his gaze. Though she had never wanted Pyre's protection, what if he needed hers?