“That’s not sex bro,” Elias laughs.

“It was a sex act.”

“There was no penetration.”

“Not everyone penetrates when they have sex.”

“I guess that’s true, but don’t go moving the goalposts,” Elias joked.

I don’t know if this is strange. I’ve never had a sex life outside of the internet, do people just discuss it openly? Then again, Elias knows everything about me. Do other guys do this? This is all so new to me. I’m excited, but I also don’t think this is anyone’s business. It isn’t like we recorded this and put it on the internet or anything like that.

“So, how was it.”

“Surprisingly warm and not in the spot I expected it. Like, it’s a lot lower.”

“No you idiot,” Elias smacks me in the back of the head.

“I just answered the question.”

“Never, ever, talk about your dance partner’s shoes.”

“What,” again with the metaphors.

“Don’t got telling people about Destiny’s private parts. That’s supposed to be private information and she just happened to share it with you.”

“Then why did you ask how it was?”

“I meant you. Did you enjoy it? Was there anything you liked or didn’t like?”

“Oh, I liked it. It was pretty fast, but I really enjoyed it. I wish it lasted longer.”

“The old space shuttle takeoff. At least there wasn’t a false start. I had a false start, didn’t even get it out all the way. She touched it, and boom! Looked like I spilled milk all over myself. Second time, couldn’t even get the soldier to stand at attention.”

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“I didn’t need those images in my head.”

“I could have painted pictures,” he shrugs.

“Do you have no shame?”

“Absolutely none, because you got it all,” Elias laughs.

He’s right, I had a lot of fun with Destiny last night, and I’ve thought about what we did as the sun set a thousand times since. The softness of her touch, the warmth of her body. I loved every moment of it, and will probably replay it for a long time. Still, I don’t feel shame, but not necessarily proud either. Something I had waited on for so long, came and went in just a few minutes. The moment was everything I thought it would be and somehow it didn’t live up to my expectations at all.

I hadn’t even given any thought to our future afterwards either. I had always assumed I’d be with just one woman and have a story book marriage. No picket fence, but two kids is something I’ve always thought about. I want sons, but I’d still love daughters. Can vampires have kids? I don’t remember if I ever asked Destiny before. I’m pretty sure she told me that they would adopt children, but I can’t remember. I’m just wondering what she thought about the whole thing? Why didn’t we go further? Did I hesitate or was it her? No matter how many times I think about it, I can’t remember that part. I just think about the two of us laughing in the grass when it was all done. I need to call her, why hasn’t she called me? Does this change our relationship? Did we move too fast? Was this overdue? How long does the average couple wait before having sex? We aren’t even average so that doesn’t matter.

“You good over there,” Elias tosses a pillow at me.

“Why hasn’t she called me?”

“Who?”

“Destiny,” I throw the pillow back.

“Do you two even talk like that? You’ve been with her for a while now and I haven’t heard you up late chatting on the phone a single night. What do you two do when you’re hanging out?”

“We kind of just watch movies together.”

“Neither of you are big talkers. You probably have hour long inner monologues but you don’t talk to people. She’s probably the same way which is why you to get along so well. At least she didn’t call and break up with you.”

“What if she is breaking up with me? What if she’s just going to ignore me until I get the message.”

“Dude, you need to stop over thinking things. You’re killing my mood.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. This is a big moment in any relationship.”

“Do you want some pot?”

“What?”

“Weed, you need to calm down.”

“I don’t do that stuff.”

“Since when? You don’t do it every day but I’ve gotten you at least once a month this past year, and you’re overdue.”

Elias almost skips out the living room and towards his bedroom. I know what he’s going to get, and I don’t even try to run. He’s probably right about this; his advice hasn’t let me down before. Still, I need to hear from her. I send a text asking if she wants to see a movie this weekend.

“Pick out a good movie while I roll up, something funny please. I don’t need you blowing my high before I even blow the trees,” Elias pops down on the couch with a rolling tray.

“What about National Security?”

“Perfect.”