I tip the doorman thirty dollars and he lets me through the front door despite the fact that I don’t live here. I feel like that should probably be illegal. I’m basically a stalker right now and he just let me walk in, no questions asked for thirty dollars. Didn’t ask about weapons, why I’m here or anything. Told him where I was going and he just rolled with it. I get more scrutiny than that when I go grocery shopping in the nice part of town. I knock on the door and get no answer, but I hear movement inside. I knock again and wait, for an answer. I knock harder, causing someone in a neighboring apartment to peak out. I wave and smile to the old lady, she goes back inside. She’s calling the police, I know it.

“Hey Destiny, it’s me. I think the old lady is calling the police on me,” I whisper through the door.

“I don’t care,” she calls back. She really does have vampire hearing.

“Please, I just want to talk. I’ve got some questions about last week.”

“I’m busy.”

“I won’t take long.”

“Hurry up,” the door flies open.

I step inside, almost nothing has changed. There’s a poster board with printed out photos of various women. Some circled in blue, some crossed out in red. Various notes under each one, height, weight, hobbies and addresses. I thought I was a stalker, but she has everything about these girls written down from hair color to shoe size.

“So, what’s with the stalker database,” I take a seat on the couch and try to play it cool.

“Persons of interest. What did you want to talk about?”

“Us,” I adjust myself on the couch.

“There is no...us,” she seems disgusted. “And, who told you to take a seat?”

“Wow, you killed that idea quick. Am I really that bad looking,” I stand up before she has a chance to answer.

“No, but you’re scrawny, your fashion sense is terrible, other than your shoes. Someone probably dressed you for the club that night. Your hair cut is outdated... and well, you’re weird. Also, I don’t have time for relationships at the moment. Oh, and you’re a stalker. I can’t forget that. You’re really doing everything women don’t like. If I wasn’t so sure I could turn you into a bowl of soup with one hand, I would have called the police myself. By the way, how did you get in the building?”

“You’re stalking those women,” I pretend I didn’t hear anything she said. Again, probably not the ebst move to make. I can’t be surprised she couldn’t be bothered to spare my feelings.

“I’m not stalking them. I’m building a case around them,” she stares at me coldly.

“Might be easier to do in PowerPoint,” I know computers, I’ll pivot that way.

“Add nerd to the list. Who suggests using PowerPoint outside of an office?”

“It’s been around nearly 17 years at this point,” I argue.

“Remember when I told you that you smelled like nerd? I take it back. You smell like Super Nerd,” she jots something down about one of the women.

“What are you working on anyway,” I pivot away from me again. This is becoming a habit.

“A case.”

“Are you a detective?”

“Something like that.”

“Something like that,” I mimic her. What is wrong with me?

“Oh wow, you’re childish too. That goes on the list,” she’s unphased.

“Well, what’s the case?”

“Succubus gang.”

“Succubus? Like mythological creatures,” I can’t believe this.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“You sound shocked. Just last week you learned vampires were real. There’s a lot you don’t know. Wait until you find out about Orcs and Elves, Dwarves and Goblins, just pay attention to the world around you,” she says it as if this isn’t shocking.

I’ve been playing video games my entire life, even some tabletop games. To think, all the creatures in those games were right around me. Vampires, Elves, Orcs, she has to be screwing with me. Then again, she’s a vampire. Are there werewolves too? Can an Elf be a vampire? What about an Orc werewolf? Well, isn’t Lycanthropy, or vampirism for that matter, technically a disease? Could it be contracted by non humans? Would it manifest differently? Well, she doesn’t look like a vampire I’ve seen anywhere else.

“Earth to super nerd,” she waves a hand in front of my face.

“I’m sorry, you just blew me. I mean, blew my mind,” I stumble over my words.

“Well, do you want to hear about the case or what,” is it that simple?

“Yes, tell me everything.”

“Well, this group has adapted to the new world. They can’t just go luring in lonely warriors and cheating husbands like the old days. Instead, they lure in rich men through dating sites. Suck their souls dry and then make off with anything valuable that they can. Watches, rings, cash, credit cards, it doesn’t really matter. They don’t have to do the gold digger thing, they just rob people the old-fashioned way, with the promise of sex. I’ve been trying to spot a pattern, but no luck so far.”

“But you’re not a cop?”

“No, I take cases offered through the network and solve them for money.”

“So, you’re a hunter.”

“What?”

“Like Hunter x Hunter. The hunters take cases or hunt creatures offered through the network for money. Sometimes they take other jobs like bodyguard and transport.”

“I have no idea what Hunter x Hunter is,” her face is devoid of emotion. “But, something like that. Some people call themselves occult detectives, some people prefer mercenary, I’ve even met a guy who calls himself samurai. As far as The Shadow Syndicate is concerned as long as you get a supernatural license, you’re an independent contractor. So, you can call yourself whatever.”

“Shadow Syndicate sounds really evil.”

“They’re not. There’s a lot of origin stories. As far as I know it was a bunch of information brokers who got together and built the network. Never heard of them doing anything out of line, good folks as far as I’m concerned.”

“Sounds like you think nerds are good people,” I smile at her.

“Stop talking.”

“Ok, but how do you plan to get the succubus, succubai, succubi, what is the plural of succubus?”

“Doesn’t matter. I need bait. Someone willing to go undercover as a rich guy. Date one of them, and take them home for the night.”

“Sounds dangerous,” for once I want nothing to do with her.

“It is, but we’ll need to get you some new clothes,” she closes the notebook she had been writing in.

“I didn’t agree to do this.”

“Alright, I’ll give you a fourth of the payoff since I’m doing all the work. I’m only being generous because you might die.”

“What? No. I don’t need your money,” I’m actually offended. Do I look broke to her too?

“What do you need for me to convince you to be my bait?”

I think on it hard for a moment, I know what I want. “Dinner,” I call out.

She cuts me off, “that’s all? My cooking isn’t anything crazy, but I can make a good meatloaf, great cornbread and okay sweet potatoes.”

“No, I want a date. Dinner and a movie,” that’s my offer.

“You’re kidding,” she starts to laugh at me. I begin to talk she laughs harder.

“I’m serious,” is all I can say once she stops laughing at me.

“Oh, you really want to date a vampire. Is this some kind of kink?”

“No. I just, I like you,” Elias always said being honest was the best way to go.

“You like me,” she starts to laugh. “Are we children?”

“No, I just didn’t know what to say. I wanted to call you, but I never got your number, I just happened to remember where the place was. I had a whole speech prepared to tell you that I liked you.”

“A speech? What is this? Some corny romance novel?”

“I don’t know, I’m weird. I’m sorry. I saw you in the club, I thought your shoes were cool and there was a cute woman attached to them. I was scared when you brought me to your house, but then we talked and ate pancakes. I realized I liked you a lot, even if you drink blood. My brother said I should just call and ask if we can spend some more time together but I didn’t have a phone number for you, and I thought a letter might be too slow,” hopefully she understands my explanation.

“Wow, okay. Not sure what there is for you to like. You don’t know me.”

“I know your name is Destiny. You have great taste in sneakers. You cook a great meatloaf. You’re a vampire. You’re a spirit detective. You think I’m scrawny and dress bad, but didn’t say I was ugly. You let me in your home without inviting me over and spent the last hour talking with me and didin’t bring up the fact that I tracked down your home after one visit. That’s what I know, I’d like to know more,” I rattle off a list.

“Fine, I’ll go on a date with you. But, we need to get you some new clothes. They won’t ever believe you’re rich. Then, we’ll need to get you new clothes for the date, because you’re looking bad.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up tonight around nine,” I hop off the couch.

“No, case comes first. Can’t date a coward. We’re going to get you some rich guy clothes. Meet me at this address tomorrow,” she scribbles something and rips a piece of paper before handing it to me.

“Okay, see you there, I leave the front door,” no magic locks this time.

“Wait,” she calls to me. She’s going to give me a kiss, I know it.

She takes a photo of me with a small camera when I turn around before slamming the door in my face. I can’t believe I have a date. A real date, I have to ask Elias for help. I don’t know what I’d wear, or even what I’d say. Dinner and a movie? That’s two different attires. Maybe we should go to a drive through film. What do I wear? Are my clothes really ugly? I can’t wait.