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Exsanguinate
3.26 – Boyf-ormation Guy

3.26 – Boyf-ormation Guy

“Cinnamon rolls, the best mall food of all time. Hands down,” I say before stuffing my face with another bite.

“Okay, but malls have ice cream,” Destiny laughs and takes another bite.

“But you didn’t mind a cinnamon roll, did you?”

“I mean, they’re a strong second.”

“Second?”

“I mean we can agree that pretzels are the worst right,” she asks.

“Ew, they’re the worst. Just so salty.”

“Like eating crunchy sweat.”

“I think the soft ones might be worse. Like salty spaghetti,” I joke.

“Eww, I’d never eat one willingly.”

“Can I ask you a question,” I ask as we throw away our trash.

“Sure, anything. No secrets between us.”

“Am I going to get a brand?”

“This again? No, I’m not going to brand you.”

“Okay, so what’s the deal with thralls? I get that they’re supposed to be tight with the vampire, that’s why do they get a brand. Supposedly they get a little stronger, age a little slower. All that sounds good, but what’s the down side.”

“The downside is that the vampire can override your free will, anytime they want. You don’t have any secrets, they read your mind and the brand can be used as a way to punish people.”

“That’s really messed up.”

“Yeah, which is why Adze banned the creation of thralls hundreds of years ago. Just too much like slavery, so you’re lucky.” she smiles.

“How can they ban it? I thought you said you all didn’t do the whole vampire ruling houses thing.”

“There’s like a shared consciousness we can tap into. Where we can have the knowledge of any dead Adze, and any living that consents. But they have to consent, otherwise it can go bad.”

“So, you couldn’t make me a thrall even if you wanted to,” I internally breathe a sigh of relief.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Nope, not even if I wanted to.”

“I guess you aren’t going to make me rich and famous.”

“Nope.”

“Then why do you keep me around?”

“Because you’re my boyf-ormation guy,” she almost calls me her boyfriend, I heard it.

“What’s that,” I press it.

“Information guy, my information guy,” she blushes, and I feel like I do too.

“Maybe a little more?”

“Wow, is that a FuncoLand? I haven’t seen one of those in ages. You love video games,” she leads the way into the store.

“You don’t even like video games,” I mumble as I follow.

“What’s this? A station of play,” she pretends to be confused by the display.

We browse for a few minutes, and she pretends to love my hobby. I’m just glad we’re back on better terms than we were before. I guess I owe Elias for that. She’s still not ready to call me her boyfriend, even if I want to call her my girlfriend with all of my heart, and soul, and everything else. As for the games, nothing of interest to me right now.

“Really? Information guy,” I ask as we head out the shop.

“Yeah, you’re pretty good with computers and finding stuff. I mean adults who play video games are weird, but you’re one of the good ones,” she jokes.

“Women who watch movies in Spanish, but don’t know Spanish are weird,” I give her some of her own medicine.

“You’ve got jokes now?”

“You knew that. But you know what isn’t a joke?”

“What’s that?”

“You almost called me your boyfriend back there,” I bring the topic forward.

“Boy please, you’re just a friend I hang out with,” she rebukes me.

“That sounds like we’re going on dates.”

“No.”

“Not even when we played board games or went to the movies.”

“Nope.”

“That’s wild, because when we went to the movies, that was specifically a date. I got a date after the whole succubus thing.”

“I,” she stops walking and thinks. I’ve got her. “We had a date. A single date.”

“My brother thinks we’re dating.”

“Your brother is an idiot.”

“Yeah, but he’s my idiot, and he’s pretty good at art too.”

“We’re not dating,” she starts walking again.

“So when can I start leaving clothes at your place?”

“Never.”

“I’ve slept over like a dozen times.”

“I don’t care,” she walks faster.

“When do we share a bed?”

“Never!”

“But we even got matching shoes today,” I hold up our bags.

“It was a coincidence.”

“We chose together. I bought yours, you bought mine.”

“Accidental. Cashier got mixed up.”

“What’s making out like? Can we try that,” I jog to catch up.

“Why are you like this,” she calls as she runs faster.

“I think we’re getting pretty serious. Where are we on a scale of one to ten? Are we exclusive,” if she really wanted to run, I couldn’t catch her. She’s being deliberate.

“You don’t have any other options,” she calls back.

“Neither do you so we’re totally exclusive!”

My foot steps into a crater in the blacktop. I fling my hands forward hoping to catch myself before I kiss the parking lot. In a moment Destiny has caught me. I never thought I would be playing the damsel in distress, but here I am. I’m all in distress, and needing rescue. She’s my Princess Charming.

“So, is this the part where we have our first kiss,” I ask from her arms.

“No, and I’m going to drop you.”

“You really don’t want to be my girlfriend then,” I stand up.

“Stop using that word,” she smiles, a genuine smile as she gets into the car.

“You didn’t say no,” I mumble to myself as I put the bags in the trunk.

“I heard that dork, vampires have great hearing.”

“I wanted you to hear it.”