“That…What?” Miss Sasha hissed, soundin’ about as lost for words as I was. The tunnel opened into a cave, a proper big one with ceilings way up above. That ain’t what had us tongue tied. Rather, we were lookin’ at the big fella lyin’ in the center. That white liquid was poolin’ around him, spreadin’ out into other tunnels I could see leadin’ away from the cave.

He wasn’t any normal type of man, I’ll say that first. The only thing mostly human about him was his outline. Now don’t let my southern roots mislead you, I’ve got nothin’ against anyone who interested in battin’ for the same team, as it were. Personally, that ain’t me. With that bein’ said, this man had the single nicest lookin’ face I’d ever seen. Right proper handsome, he was. And I don’t use that word lightly.

Besides bein’ somethin’ of a looker, he was big. Not fat, not yoked up to his ears. I mean he had to be a good ten feet tall, just colossal. His hair was thick, and he had big sideburns to match. Mountain man style wild hair like I’d never seen, so long it was runnin’ down his back. Whiter than a full moon. Stickin’ out the top of that mess was two german shepard-like dog ears, comin’ up another half a foot.

His skin below the neck was patchy, with whole sections covered in scales like Miss Sasha’s while others looked more like my own skin. The scales had the same sheen to ‘em as the liquid flowin’ across the floor. Though I didn’t need to make that connection to know that the big man was the source.

That was mighty simple to figure, since he was bleedin’ from a dozen different stab wounds.

Yeah, that’d be the first thing that actually caught my eye. Big guy was pierced all along his arms, legs and upper chest with spikes that connected to golden chains that ended up fadin’ into nothin’ before they reached the walls of the cave. He was also out like a light, not movin’ an inch.

“Miss Sasha, what am I lookin’ at?”

“I have no idea. Thisss…Ssshould not be here.” She wound down from my shoulders, and I lent her an arm to get to the ground. Windin’ along, she flicked her tongue out, tastin’ the air. “I’m about to do something that is likely not very smart, so don’t be surprised.”

“I’d warn ya off of anythin’ reckless, but then I’d be a hypocrite.” I chuckled. Miss Sasha joined in.

“Yes, I’m just taking a page out of your book here. I need to be clear, though. I told you a while ago that I can’t die, and that’s true. I’m a Heavenly Spirit, bound to you. But this body of mine can be destroyed. I’ll reform pretty quickly, but it can happen.”

I nodded. She’d said as much while we were explorin’ the First Floor.

“What I didn’t say, because I didn’t think that it would be relevant, possibly ever, is that my soul can be destroyed. Again, I won’t die. I’ll just reform over time in Heaven, then come back here. But that could take…A while. I have no idea how long. Time between planes doesn’t follow any simple rules I could rely on.”

I frowned. “Well now you’ve got me rightly concerned, Miss Sasha. What’re you doin’ that we’d need to risk that happenin’?”

She gave a little snakey nod. “Normally I wouldn’t. But you’re far more capable than I’d ever expected, and you have more Revives than I think you could use in the next hundred years. If I disappear, just stay in this area and avoid all Natives as much as you can. We’ll figure something out when I get back.”

“...Alright, but you haven’t said why exactly you need to be doin’ this.” I wasn’t too keen on puttin’ her in that much danger. At least, it sure sounded like a lot of danger. I’m not an expert on Heavenly Spirits, so maybe I was overreactin’.

“If this is what I think it is, it changes everything. We might have accidentally found something we definently weren’t supposed to, and I have to be absolutely sure before we make any kinds of plans. And the only way to be sure is if I put myself at risk.”

“Well, out with it then. What do you think we’re dealin’ with.” My curiosity was killin’ me, and Miss Sasha was bein’ real coy about it.

“I think that-” She jabbed her tail in the big man’s direction. “-Is a god. An injured, sealed, hidden god.”

“...Huh.”

“That’s all you’ve got? Just ‘huh’?” She was, understandably, annoyed at my lackluster response.

“Sorry, that’s a lot to take in. I mean, I’m in Hell and all, but I don’t think I expected to see a god ever.” I scratched the back of my head. “Huh.”

“Yes, seeing a god is not normal!”

“...” I might have chuckled a little.

Miss Sasha sighed. “What?”

“Well, ‘not normal’ describes just about everythin’ I’ve seen for the last few days.”

“...Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“...Moving on, I’m going to drink a tiny bit of this,” She flicked her tail toward the white liquid streamin’ out of the big maybe-god. “which should be god’s blood, or ichor. If it is, that can do several things to me as a Heavenly Spirit, one of which is destroying my soul. All of the results from drinking ichor are things that can only happen with ichor, so we’ll know for sure whether or not that’s what we’re dealing with.” She explained.

“That sounds mighty dangerous. What about if I drink it?” I asked.

“Your soul would be instantly discorporated into nothingness as the raw power in the blood destroyed you from the inside out.” She stated dryly.

I took a healthy step back from the white liquid. “Think I might just not do that.”

“Yeah, how about you don’t. It would be a very stupid way to end our time together.” She snorted. “Now, nothing that should happen would affect you, but that’s assuming I’m right. Which I could not be. So…maybe move back down the tunnel a bit?”

“Fair ‘nough.”

After I’d cleared off to a distance Miss Sasha was comfortable with, which took a couple more steps than I’d figured, she flicked out her tongue, catchin’ the teeny-tiniest little droplet of magical nonsense liquid on it before swallowin’. I braced, not sure what I should be expectin’. Only then did I think that I mighta asked what actually could happen.

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“...Well? Ya alright, Miss Sasha?”

There was a long pause, and I was mighty tempted to take a closer look at my snake-shaped travellin’ buddy, but figured it wasn’t the most clever choice. Finally, a big shudder ran down Miss Sasha’s body, and she *pop* changed. It even gave off a little sound like someone openin’ a wine bottle.

She grew about a foot longer, puttin’ her in the neighborhood of three feet total. She got a bit more heft with it, but she was still a tiny thing, as far as snakes can go. Watchin’ her wriggle around a bit, I saw that her scales got a tiny bit of that sheen the magic stuff had, but not nearly as easy to notice. She had to really be movin’ and the light had to hit her just right.

“...Huh.” Well, at least she didn’t explode. Or disappear. Honestly, I think we got off easy.

“That was extremely unpleasant. I feel stuffed. Ugh, how is this a reward?” Miss Sasha shook herself again, the movement lookin’ more like a wet dog tryin’ to get dry than anythin’.

“Reward?” I asked, steppin’ closer. I was pretty sure there wasn’t anythin’ else happin’ any time soon.

“Ichor is one of the rewards a patron deity can give to a servant Spirit. It enhances us.” She explained while windin’ around to look at herself.

“Then why were you worried about explodin’ or all that nonsense?”

“Because, there are issues of compatibility. I’m a Spirit in service of one god, this is the blood of another. If their Domains had been divergent enough, the ichor would have acted like a poison to my soul. Considering I’m the lowest level of Heavenly Spirit, drinking even a drop of divergent ichor could only result in the dissolution of my soul.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re alright.” I leaned down, offerin’ my arm.

She laughed. “I’m glad I’m alright too. I’m also glad we confirmed that this is, in fact, ichor. Now, what to do about the chained god we’ve accidentally stumbled onto.” She paused. “Wow, that is just, an absurd statement. What is my life?”

“We should help, if we can.” I jumped in with my two cents, ignorin’ Miss Sasha’s existential crisis. She seemed high-strung more often than not, poor thing. Instead, I focused on the chained and bleedin’ guy in front of us. I’d wanted to help out from the moment I saw him, but there was so much magic nonsense goin’ on that I held off. I might be a little gung-ho, but I ain’t stupid. If there’s one rule I think I could follow, it’s ‘don’t mess with magic nonsense’. At least, I think I could follow it most of the time. Maybe.

“That seems like an incredibly ill-conceived idea. We have no idea what kind of god he is, or why he was chained up here. He could be some kind of calamity given form, for all we know.” Miss Sasha shot me down. “Although…He doesn’t have an evil domain, at least. If he was, I wouldn’t be here right now. But that doesn’t guarantee anything about his behavior. Good aligned gods can do most anything if they believe it to be right or in their best interests.”

“Yah, ain’t wrong.” I admitted. “But judgin’ by the amount of blood in this cave alone, compared to the amount comin’ out of him, I’d say he’s been here a long, long, long time. Whatever he mighta done, I can’t say I agree with torturin’ him forever for it. At that point, if there’s no other way, it’d be better for everyone if they just ended him. ‘Course, it woulda been better if whoever put him here found a way to talk some sense into him. And that’s assumin’ that he actually did somethin’ wrong. Which we don’t know.”

“Ok, fair. I just think unleashing a chained god in a mountain of toilets is…tempting fate, I guess.”

I laughed. “Well, I can’t say you’re wrong. And none of that hits on the real issue.”

“Which is?”

“Do you know how to unstick him? Because I sure don’t.”

“...Huh.”

“Yuuup.” I sighed. “Well, nothin’ doin’. We’ll just have to see if a little bit of elbow grease’ll move one of these big spikes.”

“Yeah, not happening. We need to find a way to deal with the ichor. It won’t hurt you if it gets on your skin or anything, but an open wound or any orifice will see you dead. Permanently.” Miss Sasha lightly flicked my ear. “Come on now, I just told you about this.”

“Hmm,” I rubbed my chin, thinkin’ over what all we’d seen that might work. “Could we dilute it with a lot of water?”

“The amount you’d need to make that safe would flood this cave several times over. A better option would be some form of personal protective equipment.”

Good ol’ PPE, then. At least I wasn’t about to have OSHA lookin’ over my shoulder and writin’ me up for an unsafe workin’ environment. From what I’d seen, Hell woulda made one of their inspector's heads explode. No railin’s, signage, or SDSs to be seen.

Now I just had to figure out where to get some protection. Quick as I could, I started thinkin’ through everythin’ we’d seen in the last week. Took a minute, we’d seen a lot. The mountains on the First Floor were all different sizes, but they were all on the smaller side of anythin’ I’d seen back on Earth. Even walkin’ around them, we’d seen dozens.

Then, it hit me. “Hey, you remember that mountain with the burlap, leather-lookin’ stuff. I said it looked like a cow’s worst nightmare, you said it probably wasn’t from cows. Or mammals. Somethin’ about ‘meat slimes’, which just ain’t a phrase I ever want to hear again.”

Miss Sasha hissed out a chuckle. “Yess, I remember. What about it?”

“Do you think we could use that stuff to make some gear?”

“Well, that’s hard to say. I’m not sure if we could find any tools that would let us process it efficiently, or at all. Plus, it’s not like either of us know how to make something out of raw hides. It’s a bit of a stretch-”

“Sorry, wasn’t proper clear.” I butted in. “I meant, would that stuff stop me from gettin’ snuffed out like a firework in a hurricane? Is it durable enough, or whatever benchmark you use to judge magic nonsense?”

“Um, yes?” She said it like a question. So I answered.

“I know how to process most hides and sew clothing. Cousin Ester and my second cousin once removed, Derrick, taught me when I was a kiddo.”

“...I shouldn’t be surprised. Your family is weird.” She snorted.

“I know.” I shrugged. “But they’re the only one I’ve got.”

“I almost hope we don’t run into any of them down here. I don’t think I could handle them if they’re anything like you.” Miss Sasha looked at me like I was the source of all her problems. Which, bein’ fair, I probably was.

“That a thing that could happen? Meetin’ my family down here?” I asked. Both ‘cause I didn’t want Miss Sasha to focus on me and ‘cause I wanted to know. But mostly the latter. Mostly.

“Yes, of course. On your world, like many others, everybody goes to Hell. The only limiting factors are space and time.” Miss Sasha did a snakey shrug. “The First Floor is massive, and they could appear anywhere on it. Added to that, time between planes and dimensions isn’t linear, or even relative. Your great-great-grandfather could appear in Hell a hundred years from now, while your grand-niece could have already been here for decades. Meeting people you know is statistically improbable.”

“Well, ain’t that a kick in the head.” And I’d gotten my hopes up a bit too.

“It is what it is. I’m not privy to the actual decision making, but I believe the System was pushed in this direction to limit cooperation. At least, cooperation based on relationships outside of Hell. Coming here is supposed to be a severing of ties, and Sinners are supposed to only work for their gods. Not that that’s actually what happens. People are very self-interested, and there are plenty of Sinners on the first floor that band together to exploit and abuse others. After all, everybody goes to Hell. There are plenty of awful people down here, just as you’d expect.” Miss Sasha expression fell.

“I’m assumin’ you’ve ran afoul of that type before, huh?” I asked, feelin’ like she had a personal connection to what she was sayin’.

“Yeah,” She admitted, though it sounded like she didn’t want to. “I’ve lost a few of my Sinners to those groups. They’ll gather up groups of Sinner when they arrive for all kinds of reasons. There are plenty of evil gods that love the sacrifice of sapient life. That, and many other, equally unsavory things.”

“Well, if we ever run into somethin’ like that, I’ll make sure to put a stop to it.” I smacked a fist into my palm. “Ain’t gonna let that happen right in front of my face. No siree.”

Miss Sasha let out a groan. “Please, for my sake. Don’t do that. How you think you could handle a group of armed and armored opponents with your bare hands, I’ll never understand.”

I took exception to that. “Wouldn’t use my bare hands.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” I crossed my arms, lookin’ her dead in the eye. “I’ve got a shovel.”