The entire capital had a heavy air in it. Everyone who could; was wearing black. There was a procession of people moving in a circle around the city. I saddle up to a man and ask “Who died?” The man shrugs. "The king's brother.”

“He has a brother?”

“Had. Not like anyone here has ever seen him though.”

I thank the man and continue on my way. Perhaps the king's brother was the one to defeat the demon lord. Maybe a double murder type situation. If that’s the case then great! Problem solved, but I still need to confirm.

I arrived at the king’s castle. It was a very fancy room. The table is gold leafed. The floor is white marble. The walls are gold plated. Everything but the king is covered in gold. It’s like I’ve walked into the Amber Room. I would be impressed, but it’s only gold. Gold only holds real value as computer parts. The stairs up to the throne give off a very authoritarian vibe. Even when the king is sitting he is taller than anyone not on his level. I climb the steps towards the king. His crown rests over his eyes. He has his purple cloak pulled up and balled into a sort of neck pillow. I poke him. He jumps in sudden surprise. His crown flies off his head. I grab it from the air and hand it back to him. He looks into my eyes as he takes the crown back. His eyes aren’t human eyes. Where his eyes should be is instead snake scales. They move as he looks around. “You really gave me a scare there. Who are you anyway?” I pause for a second, his eyes too oddly horrifying to look away from. I snap out of it and give him the scroll the guard gave me.

“Oh, you’re here to see me. Right on time, Right on time.”

“Time for what?”

“Your quest!”

“Quest?”

“Yes, in order to earn my favor.”

Why would I want his favor? “I just came here to ask about who killed the demon king.”

The king smiles at me. “Well, how about we do a deal. You do my quest and I will tell you who killed the Lord of all Demons.”

I sigh. “Yeah sure.” Having meaning in life becomes a drag as soon as it becomes hard.

“Great!” He claps his hands and a guard appears. “Show him to Chun’s room.”

“Chun?”

“My court magician.”

“Is Chun short for chuniybo?”

The man in front of me wears a black hat with a brim so wide it flops down in front of his face. He pushes it up to look at my face. He has a medical eye patch covering one of his eyes. He wears a leather trench coat. Around his neck and under his coat are belts. The only place not covered in a belt is his arms, they are covered in medical gauze, and his waist, his black skinny jean belt loops are left barren.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“It’s short for chunin exams. I took this name onto myself post scouring sacred texts, my name means 'best arc in the show' but it is amazing. To see a fellow man of culture.”

“Man of culture?”

“You called me a word that I have only interacted within the holy texts. 'Chunibyo, a great magical power that allows one to distort their boring normal environment into a dark world of their own creation. You are familiar with the unholy texts right?”

I want to ask this man if he is an isekai protagonist, but he’s more of a mob comedy character. Probably an actual citizen of this world who, judging by his room having four bookshelves full of manga, has been digging through the ruins of humanity for picture books meant for Japanese children. “Who’s your waifu?” He asks me, showing off his superior social skills. While I was judging him he had started up the conversation without my input. “Mines Megumin! Her explosions are amazing. I wish I was in her world. I want to give tips on how to improve her explosions. See the king doesn’t know but I’ve been maximizing my magic output with the forbidden knowledge from these holy manuscripts.”

I almost laugh. “You’re an isekai character who wants to be isekaid?”

“Isekai?”

He doesn’t know that word. Yeah, all of his books are bog standard drivel you’d find at a local library. They wouldn’t use words that the community uses to describe them.

“It’s a Japanese word meaning summoned to another world.”

“You speak the language of the gods! The symbols that even I can not translate.” I cringe at that. “What does Baka mean? Why do they address each other with titles at the ending of a name? How much land does a Chan hold compared to a Sama? Why is everyone a noble?”

While trying to see a medieval man decipher anime tropes was entertaining. I cut him off. “I’m here for a quest.”

“Oh, yeah it’s simple. Be the king’s daughter’s bodyguard for her year at Magic University.”

“Wait a second.” He slides his hand and a portal opens in the room. I was amazed he was able to cast a spell without saying anything. 

“Chantless casting! I learned it from the sacred books.” He exclaimed then pushes me through the portal.

Soon after, Hero entered the room. Hero(Not to be confused with Hiro) is a young man born with the class title of Hero. He was recently given a request form the king to protect her daughter while she was at magic university.

“Hey.”

“Who are you?” Chun asked the man who just entered his room.

“I’m Hero.”

“You’re not Hiro.”

“I’m here to bodyguard the king’s daughter.”

“No, you’re not. I just sent over the princess's bodyguard.”

“That was supposed to be me?” Hero reaches into his backpack and pulls out a royal scroll. Dated a year ago. This event was in action since he received his skill.

“What a wonderful forgery, but it won’t work.” Chun swipes his hands and large black chains erupt from the marble floor and entangle Hero. “Guards!”

A bright flash came from inside the princess's closet door. She opened the door. There was a man in it she screamed and shut the door in his face. She reached for her sword. Stabbing it into the closet. “Who are you? What are you doing in my closet?” She pulls out her sword and stabs through the door again. “Your dad sent me to be your bodyguard.”

“Lies you’re not Hero!” Anon watches the sword come through the door again. It goes through his clothes and into his ribcage. By the time she’s done, he’ll have to replace his human disguise.

“Correct. I am not Hiro. Why would you want that prick as a bodyguard anyways?”

“Because that’s how it was in the game!”

“Game?”