The big guy from before teleports straight into my control room. “Whoa! The fuck!”

“I saw Hiro at the entrance. He won’t be able to save you in here.” His laugh shakes the air.

The vampire queen lunges for him. He catchers he in one hand and slowly crushes her. I use her valuable sacrifice to teleport away. Something tells me that he isn’t here for a congenial visit. I sit in one of the hundred of pocket dimensions I bought. I teleport Lillia out. “Lillie give me a visual.” She pulls up a dungeon viewing screen in the control room. The large demon is casting his black hole spell again. He intends to destroy my dungeon.

“Not going to happen!” He may have one shot me back in his dungeon, but this is my dungeon. I have a power here that I didn’t have back there. Teleportation of my subjects and my objects! Before when I was focused on teleporting six people at once Son was teleported into a chair. They had fused on the molecular level. I’m going to do it on purpose. I start with teleporting a chair into his large chest. It blinks into existence only the four legs are visible, they stick out from his chest. He looks at the viewing screen. “Original sin. This defiantly needs to go into the rule book.” He says then flexes his chest. The wood crumbles and begins to dissolve into his body. “That almost hurt me.” While he’s bragging about his invincibility I’m scrolling through the dungeon store. “Lillia what’s a really dense object?”

“You?”

“No, something I can buy in the store. I’m going to teleport an item into his brain.”

“Orichalcum ingot. The cursed ingot.”

I buy one and then teleport it right into the horned demon’s brain. He pauses for a second. His face goes blank and he falls to the ground. Slowly the ingot begins to emerge. It’s like his skin is caving in. Breaking into tentacles and latching onto the ingot I embedded in his brain. It slowly begins to pull itself out of his brain. Then the wound closes. The demon blinks. Then slowly stands up. “What underhanded tactics, but it’s all for naught. This dark vortex will suck up your entire dungeon before you can kill me!”

If not even that would kill him then what will? “Lillia. I think we’re fucked.” She hugs my legs. “It’s alright. I had fun.” My heart lurches. The hell have I been doing? Why am I attached to this golem? This feeling of having someone rely on you. It’s painful.

“Fuck it. I don’t have any new ideas so maybe I can just go crazy with an old one.” I pull up the list of everything I own in the dungeon. From the skeletons to the ancient dragon.

The ancient dragon! It won’t obey me, but it might still be useful. I teleport his massive bulk onto the same place in space that the demon king occupies. The screen goes white. The sounds of rushing wind.

“What happened?”

“The one in a million chance of an atom colliding with the irradiated orichalcum ingot has caused a chain reaction with the hydrogen atoms inside the dragon.”

“A nuke?”

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“Ah yes. Orrocalcum is uranium. I forgot that you aren’t from this world and orichalcum is just a made up material form Plato's Atlantis to you.”

“And a common isekai metal.”

“And a common isekai metal.” She repeats.

The smoke clears and we look into the now cleared out white space of what was once the control room. The kitchen and dining room set have disappeared along with that giant demon dude and his magic vortex.

“Did he died?” I ask Lillia. She nods. I teleport in. Lillia reaches out and grabs me. “It’s dangerous to go in. The radiation.” She looks around. We are already in the room. “Breh. I'm a skeleton. What am I going to get? Bone cancer?”

I have Lillia pull up some control screens and buy a bean bag to sit in while I watch the end of the drama. Surprisingly they are still in a deadlock, waxing poetic over whos philosophy is right.

"I just want to live a simple life as an adventure conquering dungeons!" 

“A world where everyone is equal! That is what we should strive for!” The old dude says.

“Hey, I got one of those!” I exclaim over the microphone. Hiro and his friend turn to the screen.

“You do?” They both ask.

“Yeah. A real utopia. Everyone is equal. Everyone is welcome. The food is plentiful and easy to get. It could actually use a human touch. The demihumans are pretty feral.”

I teleport into the room. Then grab the portal to the demihuman village and place it in front of us. “Wanna see it?” He nods. We both step through.

“Meat!” The black poodle lady shouts then punches on the human. I take off my ulna and wap her across the nose like one would wap a dog with a newspaper. I look at the gathering crowd. They are coated in armor made of bones. “Lord! We ran out of meat.”

God fucking damnit. Again? I nudge the man beside me. “Hey man, do you know anything about animal husbandry?”

“What’s that?”

How does he not know what that is? I know this world is medieval but it’s not the stone age. “When you have cows or goats and you let them eat grass and breed them. It allows you to milk them and stuff. I don’t know I barely passed high school. I just know the idea of it.”

“The only sore of meat is monsters and they are much to wild to tame.”

I summon in a cow. “Then what is this?” He hides behind me. Cowering in fear. “A monster unlike any I have ever seen.” I summon a rope and place it around the cow’s neck. I gently pull and it walks where I want it to go. “Wow. Soooo monstrous.” I place the rope in his hand. He holds it in a shaky fist.

I look around at the barren landscape. Once a pure field of wheat the fields, despite me giving the villagers seeds,  the fields lay unsown. “Also what do you know about farming?”

“A lot actually. I was a peasant.”

Perfect. I make a grand announcement. “It would appear that you can not be trusted to take care of animals. You are way too eager to eat them. As well as you do not know how to plant plants. If I were to leave for a month you would resort to cannibalism. To prevent that I am granting this man.” I grab ahold of the old dude and show him off to the demihumans. “He will be a leader. He will teach you about plants and how to never run out of meat.”

“The animals are actually really tame. Just feed them grains and then breed them. It’ll be fine.”

“You want me to lead these demi humans?”

“Only in those two areas.”

“But so you don’t starve while I’m gone.” I summon another torrent of animals into the fields. Along with fruit and vegetables. I would never have thought that they didn’t even know how to plant. I fixed a problem before I even knew it was an issue. That shows my leadership wonderful abilities. Actually, it shows how poor they are, not noticing a problem until it’s fixed isn’t something a good leader does.