The Kaiju attacks in March were an unfortunate surprise, though, looking back at it now, what was even more odd was the fact that the city was unusually prepared for it. When I was 18, I chalked it up to our varied history. We did have an atmospheric dispenser on the city walls after all. Now I started wondering how much of the wall being built to defend the city from dragons was true.
The bunkers were built within the wall. There were major pathways underground to the bunkers through most public places and government housing. There were small square shaped rooms that could fit about twenty to thirty people. The one for our school lead to a twisting hallway with flickering lights into a corridor with four rusted steel doors that lead into the bunkers for students. These bunkers were apparently much larger than the rooms dedicated to the larger public though not as large as the bunkers rich people specially built tunnels in their houses for. It was a grey room the size of the gymnasium and this specific room was dedicated to our class.
People were guided into the bunkers by the teachers in charge of the evacuation. I remembered the barely maintained room with faded paint on the walls, flickering strobe lights, no windows and a stack of smelly blankets in the corner paired with locked wooden boxes with tinned foods stacked within. As students huddled over phones in small groups trying to connect to the shitty Wi-Fi watching barely buffering videos of what was happening outside. The rest of the groups were all animated by nervous conversation. I was surprised that sitting there, it wasn’t far off from my memory.
I found myself a corner to sit, away from all the people. I placed my headphones in my ears, I knew this whole incident would blow over in April, just in time for mid-terms. I ignored the flickering of the lights and scraps of peeled paint trickling down from the ceiling as the ground rumbled. I was usually alone at this time since Viola moved away. I did get concerned messages from Vi that made me smile at the time and made me smile now. This time around however, I wasn’t alone.
“Hey,” Harper said, poking my shoulder. “I managed to sneak in those cupcakes you like so much…”
I grinned at her. “Oh, you queen!”
She sat next to me, taking a bite out of it. “You were right, that café is shit but the food, oh my god.”
I removed my headphones. “I’m so glad I got my headphones. I would not have been able to handle this chatter.”
Harper laughed. “I mean it’s not every day you get attacked by a Kaiju.”
“Give it a few days and people will get used to this,” I said. “Speaking off, you don’t seem fazed.”
“After curing a disease using an atmospheric dispenser,” Harper said, shrugging. “This is just par for the course.”
I took a bite of the chocolate muffin, the deliciousness just a testament to my great taste.
“How come the teachers look so tense?” I asked. Throughout the entire of the evacuation process, the teachers were all tensed up and clutching their phones, whispering to each other in hushed voices.
“Oh,” Harper said, leaning forward as if she was telling me a secret. “Apparently one of the students is missing.”
I remembered this. There were rumours going around that the girl was rich or a delinquent after people heard about her missing. It was a load of baloney, but people loved coming up with out there explanations when people or things didn’t conform to their standard of normal.
“The teachers are panicking,” Harper said. “They’re trying to make sure the news doesn’t get out.”
I didn’t really care too much about rumours but for the sake of the friendship bracelet and hopefully getting the job done I asked, “Who’s missing?”
“Momoko Honda,” Harper said. “The Japanese transfer student.”
I’d heard about her. She was a first year and after the initial excited conversation about something new and fresh, she just faded into the background.
“Why do you think she’s missing?” I asked Harper.
“I don’t know,” Harper shrugged. “Her dad’s a businessman, could have a special bunker. I don’t really care.”
It was at that moment I felt the friendship bracelet buzz on my wrist. “Excuse me. I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Good luck,” Harper said. “The teachers barely let anyone out.”
After some negotiating, I snuck into the bathroom to have a chat with Mr. Silver. After seeing the bathroom, I decided that if I did need to do my business, I’d wait until I got home. My footsteps echoed through the room, occupied by only three stalls. I yelped as I felt a cockroach squish underneath my sneaker. Cockroaches skuttled about everywhere, on the walls, underneath the crack at the bottom of the only three stalls in the room. I even saw a few on the washbasins. Moths buzzed around the faded lights as if engaged in a religious ritual and a small puddle formed at the base of the stall at the end of the room. I swear I could hear the buzzing of flies from within the pungent stalls.
“What do you want to talk about?” I hissed.
“You don’t need to keep your voice down, you know?” Mr. Silver said. “I don’t think anyone else is going to come here.”
“Are you going to send me or another one of your missions, again?” I asked. “Psychoanalyse me or whatever.”
“No,” Mr. Silver said, though he pulled his voice. “Maybe. Remember what we talked about last time in the cafeteria?”
“Yeah, that company, Thank a toast or whatever.”
“Thanatos,” Mr. Silver corrected. “This Kaiju incident… it’s related to them. I can’t divulge anymore but it’d do you good to do some investigating.”
“Alright fine,” I said. “But there’s one thing I don’t get. What’s in it for you?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you get from me finding out about this Panty Hose…”
“Thanatos,” Mr. Silver corrected, again.
“Yeah, I’m just trying to piss you off,” I smirked. “What do you get…”
Mr. Silver sighed. “Let’s just say I’m tired of this job and leave it at that, eh?”
“Still being vague, I see.”
“You know me so well darling.” The silver glow disappeared, just as a moth made a kamikaze dive into my face.
“I am so out of here,” I wailed, stepping out of the bathroom as if I was walking through a minefield.
…
When I got back to the bunker, Mr. Bellamy was standing by the door. He gave me a disapproving stare as I stepped inside. The student council was carrying boxes on their shoulders, distributing tinned food to the students. Elam gave me a smile as he walked around the room, handing out ‘Papa Jack’s Beans’ to the students. Harper waved at me from the side of the room. She was holding two cans of tinned fruit.
“Managed to grab some of these,” Harper said. “They’re a luxury, apparently.”
“Thanks Harper,” I said. “You have your phone? I need to check the news.”
“Nope,” Harper said. “Ran outta battery.”
I glanced around the room and found five dudes hunched over another dude holding a phone. They were all grinning and in the middle of an animated discussion. I walked over to them, Harper followed behind me.
“Excuse me boys,” I asked, they all turned to me. “Mind if I see what’s happening.”
They all glanced at me, as if they’d never talked to a girl before. They nodded nervously and I leaned forward with them. They were watching a stuttering video off what looked like a red blob tearing into blurry interpretations of skyscrapers and helicopters.
“The internet’s really bad here,” I said. “Huh?”
The boys all awkwardly nodded together.
“Could you give me a rundown of what’s happening?”
“U-Um,” said the boy in front. A boy with black hair and glasses that were a little too big for his face. “There’s this big monster that just popped out of nowhere in the middle of the city. That’s why we’re um…”
“I get that,” I said. “But what’s going on right now?”
“The military couldn’t handle what’s going on,” the boy said. “So, they decided to hire the help of some private military group to assist them.”
“That happened really fast,” I said. “You’d think our military would put up some resistance. I mean they killed dragons, right?”
“Yeah, we um think the company may have known about the monster,” said one of glasses boys’ cronies. “Otherwise…”
“What’s this companies name?” I asked.
“Something with a T?” the glasses boy said. “Thana something…”
“Thanatos?” I asked.
The boys nodded. It was at that moment the video decided to buffer again. There were the scattered sounds of the red monsters screams and shouts, the sounds of buildings being crushed underfoot and rockets crashing down on a thick red hide.
The blurry image of a red beast stared at me like a pixelated painting. The jagged spikes on its back blurred together with the grey buildings and bright white airplanes and helicopters rushing toward it.
I stared at those red reptilian eyes, feeling an odd sense of familiarity with the creature, wondering just what exactly the link between it and the company was.
…
By the evening, the Kaiju just disappeared, completely. There was a tiny period of investigation but within a few hours the government determined that it was safe to leave the bunkers. We all returned home at 9 in the evening and got school off the following day. Most of the damage in the city was done in the centre where all the malls were.
There were a lot of questions after the incident. Why was it isolated in one area? Where did the monster come from? There were no major incursions at the bottom of the city, so the beast didn’t come from the underground, and nobody noticed any atmospheric changes, so it didn’t come from above the ground. Back then I didn’t really care all that much about the technicalities but now with the involvement of Thanatos Inc my mind changed. The whole city was abuzz with the discussion and even though people were just getting home late into the night all the lights were on in animated discussion of this new creature.
Speaking of Thanatos Inc, their armies were seen around the city mingling with the government army. Their white armoured trucks were scattered around random parts of the city, the name of the company on all their weapons and armour in big bold letters.
The company’s soldiers were dotted around the city, all dressed in their white and black camouflage outfits and black masks that looked like biker helmets that covered their entire faces yielding no discernible features. Each of them carried machine guns hung over their shoulders and pistols holstered on their hips. When they noticed me staring at them, they walked over to me.
“Please go home, Ma’am,” the soldier said. “It’s late.”
“Do you know anything about this?” I said, waving my friendship bracelet in front of that faceless mask.
“Uh… no,” the soldier said. “If you don’t comply, the government gave us authority to confine…”
I walked away and went back to the apartments. The other apartments still had their lights on. I knocked at the door of one of my neighbours whose state-of-the-art TV speakers was blasting a news report of the Kaiju incident.
There wouldn’t be another Kaiju attack until the end of the week and a few more here and there after that. By the end of April, they would no longer be any attacks. Till then, these attacks were all everyone would be talking about. The only casualties throughout the entirety of this ordeal would be the soldiers and thanks to the state-of-the-art technology in their possession, the most dangerous injury would be a few broken bones.
I remember the excited discussion around me during the initial attacks. Discussions that I even joined. But as the attacks become a regular occurrence, the excitement died down, people just found it to be a bother and after the attacks stopped, things just went back to normal and this whole incident became a fun fact about our city. I moved on with the city and just continued with my day-to-day life.
Not this time. Thanatos Inc had my answers, and I was going to find out just what exactly I was doing here.
…
Again, the big red monster attacked the city. This time, somewhere close to the wall. Again, we were all jostled into little bunkers. This time however, it felt like we were on a train as the monster was continuing its rampage right by the walls, the floor rumbled bellowed us and the lights were off for long periods of time. Through the walls we could hear the muffled roars of the beast and the buzz of helicopter and whine of missile fire.
From my bag I pulled out a notebook. I mapped out the route to the bunker from school. From there, I’d ride my bike to where the attacks were located. The only problem was how I’d get there. I’d first have to ask to go to the bathrooms, yes, but some of the bunkers we passed on the way had soldiers posted up front, so I’d have to sneak past them. There were also a few police officers strolling about. In my bag was a mask and some gloves so there was no risk of me getting identified, all I had to do was hope someone didn’t bother me and…
“Hey April,” Harper said, holding two coffee cups. “What you got there?”
Dammit. “It’s nothing,” I said, not meeting her eyes and hiding the map with body. “I just…”
“Looks like a map,” Harper said, sitting down next to me. “You planning to get out of here.”
“Keep it down,” I hissed. “And yes, I want to see the monster attacks.”
“Cool,” she said, handing me my coffee. I held it with both my hands, praying she wouldn’t say those three words. Those three damn… “Can I join you?”
Four words but man. “I mean you’d be in danger and…”
“I’m okay with that,” Harper said. “You seem to be forgetting I have like 4 black belts.”
“But we’re…” I said, stammering to find something.
“Seems like you’re making excuses,” Harper said. “Do you want me to come or not?”
To be honest, doing this whole thing alone would make me a bundle of nerves. I know for a fact that I’d screw up. “No,” I said, fingers twirling around the coffee cup. “I want you to come. It’s just…”
“You don’t have to worry about me, you know,” Harper said. “ I can handle myself.”
“I’m just used to doing things alone,” I said. And I meant it, ever since I was a kid in the orphanage, I’d had to take care of myself. “I didn’t mean anything by…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Harper said, patting my back. She leaned over my book. “Now tell me, what’s the plan?”
…
Because the monster attacks were so close to the walls, there would be extended periods of time where the lights were off. Harper would stand by the wall, as I asked for a toilet break. I’d try and make a distraction if the lights didn’t go off as soon as the door opened.
The teacher in charge of the door was…
“Mr. Bellamy,” I groaned. “Not again.”
I nodded at Harper who was sitting in the corner amidst a group of students huddled over a phone.
I waved at him. “Yo, I need to go to the bathroom.”
The lights started to flicker, despite that I could still see that iconic frown come over his face. “Is that a way to address your…”
“I need to go bad sir,” I said, hoping the flickering of the lights and the sudden rumble of the ground was enough to permanently switch off the lights. “There was something in the beans…”
“You know the procedure,” Mr. Bellamy said. “Only one male and female…”
“Mister Bellamy!” I yelled, trying my best to come off as desperate. “Come on…”
Mr. Bellamy frowned. “Okay.” He turned to the door, using the key he was assigned to open the heavyset door. The lights flickered once more and go off. There were some panicked mutters but people were comforted by the light of their phone screens. I cast a quick glance at Harper and gave her a nod. She started to move towards me, hugging the walls. I heard Mr. Bellamy grunt and the door groan open.
“Please be careful, Ms. Anji…”
I stepped outside. I could feel Harper hugging the walls next to me. Harper brushed my shoulder, narrowly avoiding touching Mr. Bellamy. We were just about to make it out when the lights flickered on.
It was like I was in a freeze frame. Mr. Bellamy was just about to shut the door, it would take about a fraction of a second to recognise Harper standing by my side despite being in the process of closing the door. I knew I didn’t have the reflexes to do it but somehow, I forced myself to push Harper to the side before Mr. Bellamy recognised what was going on. I could see Mr. Bellamy’s eyes narrowing in recognition as the door grinded to a slow close.
Time went back to normal. Before the room was covered by the heavy metal door, I saw a pair of grey eyes.
Harper was on the floor, she looked dazzled. I was half-afraid Mr. Bellamy would call me because he saw Harper sneaking out but through the metal door, I heard a muffled:
“Remember to knock when you’re done with your business.”
I stared at Harper, I was one hundred percent sure that he saw Harper, but it was as if a miracle had occurred and I pushed her at just the right split-second to hide her from Mr. Bellamy.
There are others just like you, I remembered Violet saying. People who are not themselves.
“Quick thinking,” Harper whispered to me. She got up and dusted herself. “Now let’s get outta here.”
Those grey eyes staring at me from behind Mr. Bellamy, they looked so familiar. I didn’t have time to think as Harper took out her flashlight, I brought out mine and we dove into the dark winding depths of the tunnels.
…
We managed to get out fine. We managed to hide from the police easily. There were a few moments where we almost got caught but Harper’s quick thinking got us out. Soon we were underneath the basement of our school, the same basement that was underneath the gymnasium.
“Damn,” Harper said, stretching. “Is it me or is it hot in here?”
“Let’s go,” I said. I was feeling very anxious. The school was far from where the attacks were allegedly happening and as we climbed out of the basement into the gymnasium, I could hear the distant rumble of helicopters and rocket fire.
“My bicycles with the rest of them,” I told Harper. My eyes were adjusting to the bright light filtering through the windows of the gymnasium. “You ready.”
“Ready to jump into a war zone?” Harper said with a grin. “You bet I am.”
I fist bumped her as we made our way to the bicycles.
“Wait you only got a bicycle for yourself, right?” Harper asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“What’ll we do?” Harper said. “There’s only two of us and one bike.”
“Well…”
…
The bike rattled across the uneven roads.
“T-this was a terrible idea,” Harper said, holding onto me for dear life from the back of the bike, her voice shaky like the roads below her.
“Well trying to steal someone else’s bike was also a terrible idea,” I said. “Especially considering we didn’t have the equipment!”
With Harper behind me, I had to plan my turns carefully cause if I made an awful turn both Harper and I would be eating pavement.
Our destination was the skyscrapers close to the wall where the Kaiju stood, shooting freaking laser beams from its mouth at the helicopters and jets zooming towards it. It looked much more terrifying than what I saw in the newspapers mainly cause the closer I got to it, the more real was its jagged maroon spine jutting out of its red hulking body. 30 metres in length, the beast was a scaly red mountain amidst the sea of grey buildings and as it turned its hulking body around, I could see the pink slit in its black eyes the size of spotlights. The airplanes and helicopters rushing towards it were like gnats attacking a human.
As we rushed through the city a military truck zoomed past us. I broke the bike to a sudden halt as the truck started to slow down.
“We have to get the fuck out of here,” Harper said.
I nodded. We dropped the bike and rushed towards the narrow alleyways as the truck in front of us stopped. We heard some uneasy mutterings and heavy footsteps headed to where we ‘parked’ the bike. Harper and I burst into a store where the owners conveniently forgot to lock the side doors. Through the massive window we saw the Thanatos Inc soldiers poke at our bike. When they turned to our direction, we ducked.
There was some conversation. The soldiers did one final look around before finally shrugging and going back into their truck. Harper and I let out a relieved sigh.
“That was close,” Harper said. “This building should have a bunker. Think we should head back?”
I shook my head. “You can head back. I want to see the monster up close.”
Harper looked conflicted for a brief second. She let out a sigh. “What did I get myself into?”
“You can go if you want,” I said. “I understand if you’re…”
Harper shook her head. “I don’t want to, it’d be boring.” Harper grinned. “And quite frankly I’m having the best time of my life.”
…
Let me give you guys a word of advice. Do not sneak into an active military zone, especially when giant Kaiju are involved. It was the most stressful thing we’ve ever experienced, not to mention the fact that the soldiers in said zone were so on edge that they’d shoot at anything that moved. Harper and I had a few close calls with death when we so much as knocked over a tin can.
On edge soldiers weren’t our only worry, oh no. The fact that there was a giant Kaiju and literal helicopters and jets being knocked out of the sky was also another big deal. The closer we got to the beast, the more it felt like were nearing the epicentre of an earthquake. The ground below us shook, there were times Harper, and I almost lost our balance. We could barely hear each other over the bomb like sound of the Kaiju’s roar and the screech and buzz of helicopters. One time I almost ran into a soldier like I was a girl in a cheesy romance anime. It took Harper tackling me down to the floor to keep me from meeting an early demise. When the sound cleared off, Harper told me she’d been crying out my name for the past five minutes trying to warn me.
After navigating through the chaos, we finally made it atop a skyscraper, hidden underneath the lump at the top of it. The sun was starting to set, the red of the beast was dyed in the orange of the sunset. We were quite literally face to face with the monster, tracing the roads of scales on its massive body, our stomachs lurching when the tips of its mountainous spine so much as grazed the building we were on. Soon the beast turned, and we were face to face with its massive reptilian eyes. It noticed us and we had no escape. The stupidity of my idea suddenly occurring to me as the beast opened its mouth, revealing its massive, jagged teeth. Its spine lit up in red, light started forming at the end of its mouth.
“Why did we do this, April?” Harper said. “Why the fuck did we do this?”
I cried. “I have no idea. I have no idea. Why did we do this?”
The pointlessness of what I’ve done. For what? For answers? Why? Why did I do this in the first place? It’s a fucking Kaiju, a fucking giant monster. Literally Godzilla…
The light in its maw grew larger, larger. Like the centre of a nuclear bomb, it grew and grew until…
It disappeared. The beast disappeared like it was a rabbit in a magic hat. Just poof as if it never existed in the first place.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Shouldn’t we be grateful we’re alive first?” Harper asked. “I mean…”
I ran over to the edge of the roof. Military cars started moving around, spotlights blasting and helicopters roaring in search of the monster.
Harper looked down. She pointed at something. “Isn’t that…”
“What?” I asked. “I don’t see anything.”
“There was a girl in our school uniform,” Harper told me. “She ran into this building.”
“How’d you see that?”
Harper shrugged. “Good eyesight. Should we go look for her?”
I stared at her. “I’m high off the adrenaline of almost dying so I say, why not?”
…
We made our way down the elevators to the lobby of the building. There we saw somebody running through the lobby, wearing the green skirt and white shirt of our school.
“Hey,” Harper and I called out. “Hey, wait. We’re from the same school as you!”
The girl turned, when she saw our faces, she paused for a second before running away. Luckily, I was a good runner, so I closed the distance in no time.
“Look, we’re friendly,” I said. “We’re not with the military.”
Speaking off, the military flashlights darted through the glass windows of the building. Me and the girl ducked before she turned to me, her face pale with panic.
She looked foreign, with shoulder length black hair and an Asian face. There were the feint traces of her accent in her voice.
“What do you want?” she asked.
Harper caught up, bent over and panting. “Damn, you can run,” she said. Once she straightened up a look of recognition appeared on her face. “That’s the student that’s missing I was talking about.” She clicked her fingers. “Momoko Honda.”
Momoko nodded. “Y-yes.”
“Look, we’re not here to hurt you,” I said. “My friend and I were curious about what was going on with the attacks and she told me that once the monster disappeared, she saw you running into the building.”
Momoko looked at Harper. “You have good eyesight.”
“If you’re okay talking about it,” I said. “We want to ask you what’s your relationship with the monster?”
Momoko hesitated. She cast one look at me and Harper before finally letting out a sigh. “Okay.”
I smiled at her. “And I know just the place.”
…
We arrived at The Usual Spot. It was the only business that was open after the whole Kaiju incident and the waiter wouldn’t let us forget it.
“First you bring a mentally ill girl who thinks she can read minds,” he whined. “Now an immigrant. SMH.” The waiter was the type of guy to use texting acronyms in real life. “You never cease to amuse me April.”
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
He poured the glasses of coffee and strawberry milkshake that Momoko ordered. Momoko gave us an awkward stare, waiting for us to help ourselves despite her eyes lightening up when the milkshake was being poured.
“Help yourself,” I said. “The food and drinks here are great despite the shitty service.”
Momoko started to drink her milkshake. In the light of the coffee shop it struck me that she was so young. She looked about 15-16 years old, her skin still having the brightness associated with a stress-free life.
Harper and I helped ourselves to the coffee. “So, about the giant elephant in the room,” Harper started.
“Elephant?” Momoko asked, wiping her mouth with a tissue. “What elephant?”
“The um, giant monster,” I motioned.
“Oh, yes,” Momoko said, she started uncomfortably around the room as if something was going to jump at her. “The giant monster. The Kaiju as the newspapers call it. That Kaiju is me.”
Harper was visibly surprised, but I remained plain faced. I had a feeling that was the case especially after my two ‘incidents’.
“How does that work?” Harper asked. “The nutrition, the…”
“Harper,” I said. “I don’t think that’s what we should be concerned about.”
“I’m sorry,” Harper said. “That was a bit callous. Is it like a medical condition or…”
Momoko tightly gripped her cup. “It’s something like that, yes. Ever since I was a child, I was cursed with this… this… beast. Whenever I felt strong emotion, I would turn into a monster. The monster was small at first but now…”
Momoko stared at the pink milkshake. “And I don’t know what emotions stir it. Sometimes it’s when I’m angry, sometimes it’s when I’m sad and when I turn, I’m no longer myself for a few hours. When I was a baby, I just turned into something the size of a Komodo dragon, as I grew, the beast grew and now…”
As Momoko started getting more worked up, we started to see red scales form on her body. She suddenly seemed much taller than when we first saw her. She noticed the change and closed her eyes, controlling her breathing.
“I’m sorry,” Momoko said. “I just get so worked up when this happens. I’ve learned breathing exercises to keep it in check but now…”
Harper and I stared at each other. We both understood at that moment what we had to do. I put a hand on Momoko’s.
“Momoko,” I said softly. “I know you barely know us, but we want to help you.”
Harper nodded. “Both April here and I helped out someone in the same situation as you,” Harper said though I could hear the unspoken ‘Though she was a massive ungrateful bitch.’ “We’re studying to become doctors and we think we can help you out.”
“It’s a long story,” I said. “But we want to help you so… will you let us?”
Momoko stared at us both. Tears were starting to form in those black eyes of hers. “You both look very sincere.” She smiled. “Thank you so… so much…”
Red scales were starting to emerge on her body. “Oh no,” she cried. She sucked back the tear and started to do the breathing exercise. “I can’t even express gratitude. That’s how bad it is.”
“Yeah,” the waiter said, throwing the bill at Momoko’s face. “Well express gratitude for this you jobless hobo.”
I threw the burning hot coffee at the waiter’s face.
…
The company understood exactly why I did that so luckily, I didn’t face any consequences for my action. Though why they didn’t fire him was a question I’d be asking myself till the end of time (which, granted, for me was soon).
Harper, Momoko and I parted our ways, making a promise that tomorrow on the far outskirts of town we would find out just what exactly was causing Momoko’s unique situation.
I took a shower and went to bed, somehow, I felt excited for the day to come. It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in quiet a long time.
“Someone’s feeling excited,” Mr. Silver buzzed.
“Should I be?” I asked. “I mean this girl’s clearly in distress.”
Mr. Silver paused for a second, if I was in a room with him, I swear he’d be shrugging.
“I mean you sympathise with her situation obviously,” Mr. Silver said. “I don’t think you’re excited you’re helping her out, I think you’re excited to meet a new person.”
I paused, staring at my ceiling. The silver glow of the bracelet making the room feel as if it was bathed in moonlight. “A new person, huh?”
“And also, why’d you want to become a doctor?” Mr. Silver asked.
I thought about it for a moment before finally hitting a slump. “I don’t know. It was the only thing I knew how to do.”
“I feel as if you’ll find the answer eventually,” Mr. Silver said.
“Ugh,” I groaned. “Is this another therapy session?”
The silver glow disappeared, and my room didn’t look nearly as pretty.
“Asshole.”
…
After school, Harper, Momoko and I made it to an empty field far from the walls of the city. There were waves of rolling hills and green grass in the distance with red farms and cow pastures occasionally dotting the horizon. The wall was just but a speck in the distance. I paid the cab driver a ridiculous amount of money (with my welfare payment, again!).
“So how are we going to get back?” Harper asked.
“Let’s not talk about it,” I said, dismissing Harper fully and wholly.
Momoko had her back turned to us. We walked over to her to see a huge smile on her face.
“Oh my god,” she exclaimed. “I love the countryside so…”
When we started talking to her, it was almost as if the happiness was wiped clean off her face.
“Um…” Momoko said, trying to bury the excitement. “So, let’s…”
Harper slapped her back. “No, enjoy the countryside. Tell us more about it.”
I laughed. “Yeah.”
Momoko started twiddling her thumbs. “It’s just that ANY strong emotion triggers the… not only…”
“Okay you know what,” Harper said. “Let’s go sit underneath that tree and try and find out what the causes are…”
My stomach started to grumble. “Harper…” trying my best to gain her sympathy with my cute face.
“Luckily I brought snacks,” Harper said, pulling out snacks from her bag pockets.
“You’re the best!”
…
We all sat on a mat under the tree, eating mac and cheese sandwiches. Harper and I sitting next to each other with Momoko across us. Sunlight flittered through the trees, dotting the grass below. The bright green fields stretched out ahead of us. It felt so serene.
“So,” I said after finishing the sandwich, wiping out the crumbs from my skirt. “Let’s talk about the Kaiju in the room.”
“What causes your transformations?” Harper asked.
“I said strong emotions,” Momoko said, shying away from the answers.
“Do you remember any specific instances?” I asked.
“One time, my mum said something sad, and I turned into a monster,” Momoko said. “The other time I was so excited about my birthday party that…”
She began listing a whole bunch of incidents that Harper and I began to lose track of them all. Turns out ‘strong emotion’ was a very vague term.
“You know what,” Harper said. “Let’s talk about the most recent incident. What provoked the last two monster incidents?”
Momoko turned red. “I… I don’t think…”
“Come on,” I said. “How bad could it be? We’re all friends here.”
“It’s not that,” Momoko said. “It’s…”
“Momoko,” Harper said gently. “We won’t be able to find out what’s wrong if we don’t know what caused the most recent transformation.”
Momoko turned away from us. She started muttering something in Japanese. Her face seemed to get redder and redder. “But it’s so embarrassing and…”
“Momoko,” I said firmly. “Like Harper said we can’t…”
“I liked a boy and I saw him with my best friend at the mall.”
Momoko said those words so fast that it took us a while to decipher it.
“And it made me so angry,” Momoko whined. “And sad. How could Claire do that. She’s such a… such a… after all I told her…”
It seemed Momoko had a lot to say about the situation. So much, in fact, that red scales started dotting her body like smallpox.
“Momoko,” Harper said nervously. “You might want to calm down…”
“What’s the English word?” Momoko asked. “Bitch.” The word combined with her Japanese accent made the word bitch a rhyming couplet with Litchie. “Bitch. She’s a bitch.”
Momoko realised what was happening, calmed down and took a breath. “Sorry, sorry.” She said sorry in Japanese a few times. “I’m just so fucking…”
I had to stop myself from grinning. Seeing the normally timid Momoko start swearing and huffing was a sight to behold.
“Oh no,” Momoko said, realising she just swore. “I am so sorry. Please…”
“No, it’s okay,” Harper said, unlike me she came in prepared and starting writing in her notebook. “Pop off as much as you want. And what about the second incident?”
Hearing the second question, Momoko turned pale. Her black eyes widened, making her looked like a frightened squirrel.
“Isn’t my first answer enough?” Momoko said.
“It is,” Harper said. “But we need more than one incident…”
“I gave you more than…” Momoko said.
“Specific incidents,” Harper said. “We need to know your mindset before…”
I placed a hand on Harper’s shoulder and shook my head. “I don’t think this is the way.”
“Look if I knew the interview would be this scary I wouldn’t…”
“Momoko,” I said softly. “Our intention isn’t to scare you but…”
“I…” Momoko said. “If I tell you about them. About what my dad…”
“Your dad?” I asked. “What does your dad have to do with…”
She started walking away. Harper and I started following her.
“Momoko,” I said. “We’re sorry.”
Harper nodded. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked such hard questions. We just want to help.”
“I know,” Momoko said, walking away from us faster. Her voice was starting to crack. “I know. I appreciate it. It’s just I don’t want you involved in this mess.”
“We want to be involved in this mess,” I said. “We want to help you…”
“You don’t know what they’ll do to you,” Momoko said, turning to face us. She was starting to breathe heavily, scales started appearing on her body. “You don’t… It’s happening…” She started to cry. “I can’t…”
Harper and I rushed to Momoko but before we could touch her, there was a burst of red light that sent us back. The world around me was an amusement park ride of grass, trees and farms as I was tossed through the sky like a doll until everything halted. I heard a familiar roar pierce the sky and heard heavyset footsteps. The last thing I saw was a hazy scaled leg that looked like a tree trunk and the distant sound of Harper screaming before everything went black.
…
“April,” I heard the distant echo of my name. It was a familiar voice. Momoko… no… Harper.
“Please don’t die,” someone… Momoko was pleading. “Please don’t die. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I wanted to move. I wanted to speak. But no words came out, instead…
“Everything f…f…”
“She’s alive,” Harper exclaimed.
I heard Momoko’s excited scream.
“What’s that, April?” Harper asked.
“Everything…” my voice became more confident. “Everything fucking hurts.”
And it did. From the moment I could hear their goddamn voices, my body felt like it was being burned in hellfire. Every muscle I tried to move felt like trying to pull a rusty lever. I was in so much fucking pain.
But both Harper and Momoko were so excited and me being alive that they could not hear my complaints. And instead of helping me up, Harper decided now would be a good time to do the rundown of what just happened.
“So Momoko here turned into a monster,” Harper said.
“I’m so sorry,” Momoko cried.
“And it didn’t take her long to turn back,” Harper grinned like a maniac. “I guess with there not being a lot of things to destroy…”
“And I’m so tired of this,” Momoko said. “I’m so tired of living like this.”
“So Momoko decided to tell us everything about the most recent monster attacks, isn’t that great?”
I tried my best to smile through the pain. “That’s wonderful. But could you help me up first?”
“Oh, we’re so sorry,” both Momoko and Harper said at the same time. They heaved me up and sat me upright against a tree asking the usual questions: Can you walk? Can you see? What can you move? It was at this point I realised that Harper was equally as bruised as I was.
“How’d we get hurt?” I asked.
“Whenever Momoko turns there’s a huge blast of force that sends everything close to it reeling in the air,” Harper said. “That’s what happened to us.”
Momoko went out of her way to get me something. When she was out of earshot, Harper leaned in.
“Luckily there wasn’t anything fatal that could’ve…”
Killed us. That was what was implied. After being brought back to life I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d have died again? Another question to ask Mr. Silver I suppose.
Momoko came back with some apples. We each ate one of them and by God they were delicious.
“So, what was it you wanted to tell us?” I asked Momoko. “What happened during the second incident?”
Momoko’s body suddenly tensed. She was awfully silent, again. I wanted to roll my eyes, after everything we went through, she decides to go quiet on us, again. I couldn’t keep my exasperation from showing.
“Ugh, come on,” I groaned. “Why…”
“I’m sorry,” Momoko said, closing her eyes. “It’s just… the people I’m dealing with. They’re scary. Much scarier than me. They have eyes everywhere and they could be with us at this very moment.”
Harper and I stared at each other. I apologised.
“I’m sorry for getting pissed.”
Momoko shook her head. “It’s not your fault. I should apologise for hurting you the way I did and…”
Momoko sighed as scales started crawling up her body. She looked around like a meerkat and once she confirmed the coast was clear she took a deep breath.
“The private military guys,” Momoko said. “The ones that are after me. My dad told me they were going to take me somewhere safe and…”
“Hold on,” I said. “The private military guys, you mean Thanatos?”
The grim nod from Momoko was all the confirmation I needed.
…
We were back at The Usual Spot, this time around however, our conversations were hushed. Both Harper and I watched our backs as if we were criminals in a heist movie.
Momoko was also in the same boat as us, anxiously peering about like a meerkat. Our table was a testament to the anxiety, what with the spilled remains dotting the worn surface that the asshole waiter wouldn’t stop letting us hear about.
“Spastic pieces of shit,” he whispered under his breath but just enough to let us hear him. “Also, this is for you.”
The wack waiter was pursuing legal charges against me for damages due to the burns, but I didn’t have time to worry about that right now.
“So, what does you-know-what want with you?” I said, leaning over the table and whispering to Momoko.
Momoko started twisting her fingers. “It’s… supposed to be private.”
“C’mon Momoko,” Harper whispered. “We’ve made it this far.”
Momoko looked halfway up, as if asking the rooftop for guidance. “My… parents. No, my father, he’s the one who hired them.”
The scales started to form up on Momoko again. We both sat close to her, trying our best to calm her down.
“Our culture, we’re all about showing face and…” tears started forming in Momoko’s eyes. “When my monster form started hurting my mother, you know the assumptions people make…”
Momoko sighed. “And then there’s the fact that my dad must make excuses for me not going to family gatherings so that I wouldn’t turn, and rumours started circulating. It was my mother’s choice to come here, my father didn’t want to but eventually he caved in.”
“What does your father have to do with Thanatos?” I asked, realising I said the name I placed a hand over my mouth in shame. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Momoko looked as if she was on the verge of tears. “It’s okay. He hired them to take care of me.”
We paused for a second. Momoko started scratching her hands as red scales started to dot the surface.
“Momoko,” Harper said warily, staring at the scales. “You don’t have to tell us if…”
“No,” Momoko said. “You’ve both been there for me, it’s the least I can do.”
“Thanatos claims they can cure me,” Momoko said. “And that was all I wanted but when I went there, they did all these nasty experiments. They poked needles into me, left me hungry for so long. The doctors said awful things about me and when I turned it’s as if they didn’t care about what they did, they just started shooting at me. When I escaped, I begged my father to tell them to leave me alone, but he refused, showing me his wounds and mother’s wounds. So that’s why despite everything, they’re still after me…”
Harper clicked her mouth in disapproval. “Your dad sounds like a real asshole…”
“No,” Momoko said. “He’s just doing his best.”
“I don’t think trying to get rid of you is him doing his best,” I said, trying my best not to provoke her.
“No,” Momoko said. “He’s not like that… he… he…”
Red scales started forming on Momoko’s body at a much more rapid pace than before. Harper and I gave each other a nod. I slapped some bills on the table as we both rushed Momoko out of the building, hoping to get her out of the city limits but by the time we got out of the building, the hard scales on her arms started to recede. She started to steady her breathing.
“It’s okay,” she squeaked. “I’m okay. Just…”
She stared at us, her voice firm. “I don’t think my dad would do that. No way. I’m sorry but I can’t believe you, don’t make assumptions about things you don’t know.”
Harper and I nodded. “We’re sorry.”
Momoko nodded. “I’ll meet you tomorrow, we’re going to get to the bottom of this.”
The firm face and determined look on her eyes was something we were so unfamiliar with on Momoko that both Harper and I laughed.
Momoko’s confidence evaporated. Her face reddened. “What’s wrong?” she said timidly. “Is there something…”
“No, no,” Harper said. “We’re just not used to you looking like that.”
“You look cute,” I said. “Don’t worry about it.”
Momoko turned an even deeper shade of red when I said that. Redder than her scales even.
“I… I’ll see you tomorrow,” Momoko said.
We dropped Momoko off and once she was on the subway train home, Harper and I stared at each other.
“I know what she says but…”
“She turns because of her father,” Harper said, we took a seat on a bench as passerby’s around us were waiting for their trains . “Yeah.”
“But she said her first recent transformation was because of a heartbreak,” I said. “So, we can’t rule out what she told us about strong emotions.”
“And what she feels about her dad is complicated,” Harper said. “It’s not really a strong emotion like heartbreak. It’s not something strong and sudden.”
Harper and I thought about it for a moment and after a while we hit a stump.
“I don’t know anything about emotions,” Harper whined. “I don’t even know how to talk about them.”
“I have a friend who parades as a psychologist,” I said, side-eyeing my bracelet. “And I hate it when he pretends, he can read my mind.”
“We’re doctors,” Harper groaned. “Not psychologists. How are we supposed to deal with this?”
Harper and I both sighed.
“We’ll figure this out tomorrow,” Harper said. “Let’s just focus on what we know and work from there.”
I sighed. “Yep,” I said. “Let’s.”
“See you tomorrow?” Harper said, getting up an shifting her bag on her shoulder.
“Yep, see you tomorrow,” I said. My body was still aching all over and there were still bruises on my face and it seemed thinking about the whole Momoko situation caused them to flare up.
I walked home wondering why I did these things to myself.
…
Hello, this is Harper. April and I decided to try out these recordings to get to the bottom of why Momoko turns into a giant monster. This is for us to go back to as a point of reference or whatever.
To be honest we’re just making things up as we go along.
The first issue was with the boy she liked. Apparently Momoko hadn’t told us the whole truth, in that she still really liked Taylor and that Claire had broken up with him. So, we figured that maybe if we get Momoko to ask him out that at least one of the issues that lead to her transformation would be sorted. April and I still think it has something to do with Momoko’s father but to avoid stepping on any toes and for the sake of being thorough, we decided to do this instead.
April and I sat up an occasion for Momoko to be alone with Taylor and finally ask him out.
“Hey kid!” April said, tapping Taylor on the shoulder. Her straightforwardness and loud…
“My voice is not that…”
As I was saying, April’s bluntness and lack of respect for boundaries.
“Are you just using this to insult?”
April startled the poor boy. And he was a boy. High school hadn’t done him in yet. He still had an innocent look in those baby blue eyes of his. He had nice fluffy blonde hair which meant he still had time to take care of himself, unlike us.
“I don’t get it, high school’s easy.”
“Someone wants to meet you,” April said. “Go to the back of school after classes end for the day.”
“I… uh…” Taylor was flabbergasted…
“He hadn’t met girls as gorgeous us in the life he lived so far.”
And very confused. I sighed. A very exasperated sigh.
“Look, a friend of ours wants to talk to you,” I said, giving the kid the best reassuring smile I could muster. “You think you can make it after class?”
Taylor shrugged. “Sure, I have time.”
Ah, first years and their free time. And that’s the story of how we nuked our school.
You see, as school hours drew to a close, Momoko grew more and more anxious. And as we all know, strong emotion triggers a transformation.
So, before we could even get Momoko close to Taylor, let alone get her to talk to him…
Red scales started appearing all over her body. All Momoko had was one word for us.
”Run!” Momoko cried out.
And we did, grabbing Taylor as we made our way outside the school.
Luckily everybody already left, and the staff office was at the other end of the school, so nobody got hurt.
“But rest in peace, half of Our high school. You won’t be missed.”
…
Recording number… 2. Only two. Hi this is April, I don’t really understand the point of these recordings, I mean we have books. We can write. If someone stumbles upon these well…
Anyways, semantics aside. Now that half our school was destroyed by a Kaiju, all three of us had enough time to get to the bottom of our Momoko mystery.
“You need to mention what happened after the transformation. We saw a discrepancy in the results.”
Oh yeah, thanks Harper. As opposed to the other situations where Momoko only regained control after a 3-4 hours at most, in the school incident, Momoko regained control after only 1. So, yay to progress.
Harper and I theorize it’s because Momoko had someone to talk to about her issues, but the hell do we know about emotions. The rest of our tests were done in the countryside. We decided to do the whole asking out Taylor thing again. As Taylor was but a tiny speck on the countryside road, Momoko was just as anxious as when we were at school. We thought she was going to explode, tentatively hoping that we were wrong. Unfortunately, we were right.
“But hey, at least this time around the transformation was only fifty minutes.”
Poor Taylor, the poor kid can’t catch a break. After the second Kaiju incident, he called us cursed and when school opened one week later (much to everyone’s surprise) rumours started circulating that Harper and I were summoners of the Kaiju. Luckily the rumours were only circulated around the first years, nobody else thought much of it.
Momoko, however, was taking it roughly. Hearing the word curse associated with her, really had a negative effect on her. So much so that when we met during lunch hours, we saw red scales on her. Both Harper and I tried our best to calm her down.
The next day, however. Things took a turn for the worse. We were at our usual countryside spot when Momoko stopped behind us and asked a question.
“Why do you bring me out here?”
“Because you like it here,” Harper said. “Because it’s calm…”
“And because it’s less dangerous for me to transform here, isn’t it?”
Harper and I stared at each other nervously. We had no idea how to answer that.
I started, trying my best to choose the words carefully. “It is… but…”
“You think I’m cursed?” Momoko shouted. We started seeing red scales form on her body.
“No,” Harper said. “No, you asked us for help didn’t you and…”
“So why do I have to stay away from people?” she shouted, more red scales started to form on her. “Why does everyone avoid me? Why…”
“We don’t know,” I said. I saw more red scales start to form and I was scared to admit it, but I was scared for Harper and I’s safety, standing so close to her.
“Look at you walking, away,” Momoko said. I didn’t even realise I took a step back. “You think I’m cursed. You think…”
“No,” Harper said. “Momoko. We want to help you. Please understand…”
“Because you’re ashamed of me,” Momoko cried. “Because I scare you!”
Her eyes were starting to turn, her teeth started to elongate. I never even noticed those parts of her…
“April,” Momoko said firmly. “I’m sorry… I don’t want…”
I put away the recording device. I sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I…”
All three of us were exhausted after that incident. Harper and I managed to escape just in a nick of time before the big explosion. Unfortunately, and according to Momoko, this was the longest she’d been transformed. 8 hours, nearly reaching the city walls before she turned back.
Before Thanatos and before the military could assemble, Momoko went back to normal. We found her at the bottom of the wall. She immediately started to apologise and here we were, at my apartment.
“I should be more grateful,” Momoko said. “I put you in danger and I…”
“Momoko,” Harper said firmly but Momoko still went on with her apologies. She tried placing a hand on her shoulder, but Momoko shot it away.
“I’m such a failure,” Momoko said. “You do all this for me and…”
I paused, wondering what to do. Then Harper took the initiative by giving Momoko a side hug. Momoko quivered like a cat being pet for the first time. Her body tensed up at first before finally loosening up. She awkwardly held Harper’s arm.
“What are you doing?” Harper said, eyeing me. “Join in!”
I walked sheepishly towards them. The only person I could’ve imagined myself hugging was Viola. I joined in, much like Momoko, my body stiff and awkward.
“Come on,” Harper said, pulling the word. “Hug us tighter.”
I grinned and we all hugged, Momoko looked as if she was about to cry. We pulled out of the hug and Momoko looked away from us for a while before wiping her eyes.
“Look,” Harper said. “I don’t know how much we have to emphasise this, but we chose to help you.”
“You don’t need to be grateful,” I said. “We should’ve thought about how you felt, after all those rumours.”
“We want to help you,” Harper said. “It’s just we’re stumped.”
I chuckled. “We barely understand our own emotions, let alone yours but…” I grabbed Momoko’s hand. She almost let go, not aware of how to react. “We’re here for you, Momoko, always.”
Momoko could barely hold it after that, breaking down into tears. We all hugged after that but all I could do was think about how those words came out of the loner girl I was before. I don’t remember ever saying those words to anyone after Viola left.
…
I couldn’t sleep that night. I was worried about Momoko, worrying for someone else being an emotion I hadn’t truly felt in quiet a while. I knew from the conversations we had that her dad was the problem but that still didn’t explain the fact that it was only strong emotions that triggered the explosion and the emotions I was thinking about were anything but.
There was a silver glow on my dressing table. I turned and Mr. Silver started talking.
“You’re stumped huh?” Mr. Silver said.
“Another therapy session?” I said, groaning.
“Kinda,” Mr. Silver said in that voice that implied he was shrugging. “I mean you’re wondering why that friend of yours keeps exploding even though they’re barely any strong emotions.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I’m with you like 100% of the time,” Mr. Silver said. “I know what’re you up to, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to give you killer advice.”
I rolled my eyes. “What infinite wisdom do you wish to bestow upon me, mysterious friendship bracelet?”
“You know how you throw me across the room whenever I read your mind?” Mr. Silver asked.
I gasped. “You bitch! You can read my…”
“No, when you’re angry and throw me across, that’s a strong emotion despite you not feeling much before that. Why’s that?”
“Cause you made me feel naked,” I said. “Like I’m in the shower and you ripped the curtains open…”
“Ooh,” Mr. Silver said slyly, flashing his lights to imitate a wink.
I threw him across the room, but he reappeared on my table. “What’re you getting at?”
“Well…” Mr. Silver pulled the word as if for dramatic effect, but I was tired of his shit.
“Hurry up,” I said. “I have school tomorrow and I want to sleep.”
“If you keep ignoring the symptoms it’ll blow out into something bigger,” Mr. Silver said. “Same goes with emotion. That’s why she turned after all the rumours. She never addressed how turning into a lizard made her feel as a child.”
“So, it made her feel…”
“Cursed and ashamed,” Mr. Silver said. “And because she didn’t address the symptom before now whenever something makes her feel cursed and ashamed…”
“It makes the disease worse,” I said, slapping my fist against my palm.
“Bingo,” Mr. Silver said. “Though when it comes to emotions it’s best not to think of it like a disease.”
Mr. Silver was about to flicker off but before he did, I told him to wait.
“What’s up?” Mr. Silver asked.
“The incident in the bunker,” I said. “And Momoko’s last transformation. In that moment, time felt as if it stopped for everyone. Everyone except me.”
Mr. Silver kept a steady glow.
“It was the same when I died,” I said. “Was that you?”
“Yes.”
Mr. Silver ‘logged out’ before I could ask anymore questions.
…
With how fast our school was rebuilt, it didn’t take us long for us to go back to the usual routine. Sure, there was still construction work going on but that didn’t mean classes needed to stop (despite the loud screeching of machines and groan of the materials being hauled around the school). Despite that, like people do, we adapted and learned as best we can despite the loud noises around us.
However, today proved to be different and an extremely long day. For one, during the science class with Mr. Bellamy, Harper burst into the classroom.
“April Anji,” she gasped, out of breath. Everyone in my class had their eyes peeled on her. “I need April Anji.”
Mr. Bellamy gave her a blanked face stare. “Ma’am, are you not aware that Ms. Anji is in a class right now?”
“She’s too smart for this shit,” Harper said. I started to get up, but Mr. Bellamy gave me a stern stare causing me to sit back.
“Firstly,” he said, turning to Harper. “Miss…”
“Harper, look a friend of ours is in trouble…”
The class’s attention shifted from Mr. Bellamy to Harper like they were watching a tennis match.
“Harper, that is no way to talk to a teacher,” Mr. Bellamy turned to me. “And Ms. Anji, if you decide to leave now, expect detention after class.”
I gave Mr. Bellamy a thumbs up. “Cool.” I decided to walk towards Harper.
“Ms. Anji,” Mr. Bellamy said firmly. “Scratch detention, if you decide to leave now, summer school will be mandatory for you. And since you’re so smart you’ll be teaching the…”
Harper shut the door on Mr. Bellamy. She walked ahead of me at a fast paced, breathless.
“What has you so riled up?” I asked.
“It’s our little Momoko situation,” Harper said. “Thanatos Inc soldiers came into our school. They’re looking for her.”
And right on cue around three Thanatos men shuffled through the hallway, brushing right past us.
“As soon as she found out about it,” Harper whispered. “She sent me a message. She’s in the boy’s bathroom on the first floor so she can throw em off.”
“How come they’re here now?” I asked as we shuffled down the stairs. “We’ve been doing this for three weeks and only now they decide to attack?”
“Momoko’s dad was tired of all the transformations,” Harper said. “He decided to finally take things into his own hands.”
“Oh shit.”
We rushed down this time.
“She told me she’s by the bathroom by the lockers.”
Turns out though, that Thanatos was on the lead to. They were headed straight for that bathroom.
“Crap,” I hissed. “We need something to distract them.”
“I’ll do it,” Harper said. “You get the handle on Momoko, try and get her to calm down.”
Harper ran toward the soldiers, yelling out something about a lizard monster. The soldiers followed her, giving me just enough time to sneak in the boy’s bathroom.
I burst through each of the stalls until I found Momoko at the last one. This time around though, she wasn’t the cute Japanese girl I knew. Instead, she was much taller, yellow claws grew out of her hands. Her legs and arms were red with scales and when looked up to see me her pupils were slowly contracting into slits. She looked as if she was about to lunge at me until she noticed who she was talking to.
“April,” she whined. I noticed her canines were starting to elongate. “Help me.”
She was desperately trying to control the spread before it turned into a massive explosion. The red scales were slowly crawling up her face.
“Momoko, remember to breathe,” I said softly. “It’s me, I’m here for you.”
I hoped my voice was confident enough to hide my uncertainty. In truth, I had absolutely no idea how to deal with this even after Mr. Silver’s big lesson.
“I’m so… so scared April,” Momoko said, her voice shaking. “My father called me earlier. Told me that he was coming to see me at break but when I saw the military trucks behind him, I knew they were going to take me away. He’s had enough of me April, he’s going to take me away. They’re going to take me away. I’m such a disappointment, I’m so worthless…”
“You’re not a disappointment Momoko,” I said. “You’re not worthless. It’s your father, not you.”
“No, my father is doing his best…”
“Doing his best by hiring a para-military organisation?” I scoffed. “Doing his best by hiding you away instead of trying to find out why his daughter is the way she is?”
“You don’t understand,” Momoko sobbed. “I’m cursed, I hurt people.”
“That was when you were a kid!” I said. “You’re older now, you know better.”
At that moment I got a text from Harper. Those bastards saw right thru me, they’re headed ur way. Hurry up!
“If I know better, why do I transform?” she said, now hissing. “Why can’t I control myself?”
Behind me I heard the door snap open. “Thanatos Inc! We have you surrounded! Surrender and we won’t have to use force!”
Momoko looked like she was about to cry but I forced her to focus on me.
“Because you’re angry,” I said. “And you don’t know you’re angry.”
We heard the stall doors snap open one by one.
“Your dad didn’t care about you,” I said. “He only cared about his business, about how he looked and he made you feel cursed for it.”
The sound of doors snapping open got closer and closer.
“But he also made sure to make you feel ashamed,” I said, not knowing where the words were coming from. “To make you feel like you were the problem, like your anger was what made the monster and not him. Not his shitty personality. Hell, he’s not even here right now.”
The heavy footsteps got closer. On my right I saw heavy boots appear on the stalls.
“So, you know what,” I said, as the door behind me opened. “I say fuck it, you have every right to feel angry.”
“Get out the way miss!” yelled the soldier behind me. “You’re dealing with a monster.”
“So go wild.”
And as the soldier got thrown across the room by a flash of red, I knew my words had an impact on Momoko.
…
It was fun to imagine Mr. Honda atop his high-rise building, wearing an expensive red suit, his white hair a testament to what he believed he had to do to get to the top, an ugly gash on his cheek the only proof of his ‘disappointing’ daughter, sitting on an expensive desk with an even more expensive computer on the desk. It was to imagine his landline phone ringing and him leaning over to pick it up.
“Is the job done?” Mr. Honda says flatly, knowing that the person on the other side was a soldier who he didn’t know from a paramilitary corporation he hired.
“Yes,” I said, barely able to hide the laughter in my voice.
He’d ask where she is and I’d say: “Look behind you,” and when he did, he’d see a giant, red-scaled beast and me sitting comfortably on her shoulder.
I didn’t have to imagine it. I was right there as Mr. Honda looked behind him and let out a startled yelp as I gave him a massive grin. Momoko turned to me, and I knew at this moment that she’d turn back into a human, so I’d have to brace myself. As she shrunk, I saw Mr. Honda barking orders on his phone. Momoko turned into something resembling a red crocodile that cushioned me as she reverted to a human. When she turned back, I gave her a high five.
“Did you see the stupid look on his face?” I asked.
Momoko forced a smile, but her eyes weren’t as enthusiastic. “I feel kind of bad, scaring all those people.”
“Yeah, and I’m sure your dad felt very bad hiring those people to attack you,” I said bluntly.
Momoko didn’t take it as a slight. We made our way to Mr. Honda’s office, without needing to take an elevator. Mr. Honda was waiting for us.
“So, the first thing you do is scare my employees,” Mr. Honda said, not even asking anything about how Momoko managed to overcome what brought him shame, he just gave me a judgemental stare before turning to Momoko. “Did this delinquent goad you into it? People like this will only drag you down…”
I wanted to say something, but Momoko beat me to it.
“Fuck you.”
I was taken aback, Mr. Honda however looked unfazed.
“Look at you, using this delinquent’s language,” Mr. Honda scoffed. “What brings you here? Why’d you show your face?”
Momoko looked like she was about to explode, say something mean. I felt as if she was going to turn into a beast and scratch at him but…
“You’re horrible,” Momoko said. “And I’m done with you.”
She turned back, beckoning me to follow her down the elevator.
As the elevator rolled down, I turned to her.
“I thought you were going to show him just how angry you were,” I said. “Attack him or show him that you were in control.”
Momoko sighed. “I… he made me feel sad and angry. But I always thought there was a chance. A chance that maybe he’d change if I changed. But hearing him talk to you like that, talk to me like that. You can’t force people to change, no matter how miserable they make themselves.”
“But aren’t you still angry?”
Momoko hesitated. “I am and maybe I’ll never stop feeling angry at him, but you’ve seen the destruction around the city. I’ve felt enough, especially when it comes to him.”
We left the office, making our way to the subway.
“So, what are you going to do now?”
“My father caused so much damage to me,” Momoko said. “And my mother just watched. I… I want to live without them and…”
We took a seat on one of the benches as we waited for a train. “I want to feel without feeling ashamed.”
I felt a familiar buzz on my bracelet.
“And I have you to thank for that.”
On my bracelet, a green Godzilla bead formed but I was too dumfounded by Momoko’s words to really pay attention to it. I did the usual motions, dropping Momoko to her seat on the train.
“Aren’t you coming?” she asked me as I started to leave.
“I have something I need to do.”
…
By the time Mr. Honda left the office, it was almost 10 PM. I stepped in front of him before he got into his car.
“Jesus how long do you work for?”
“What do you want?” Mr. Honda asked. “Here to curse me like my delinquent daughter?”
“Man, you have a lot to unpack,” I said. “But I don’t care. I want to ask why Thanatos? Why hire a military company…”
Mr. Honda interrupted me. “They’re not a military company. Military services are just part of what they offer. They’re a life improvement company?”
“Life improvement?”
“They offer lots of self-improvement services,” Mr. Honda said. “Therapy, medicine, they even sell books. Haven’t you read Nuclear Habits or The Bombastic Art of Apathy, the authors work for them?”
I have heard of those books. They were very popular and still popular 5 years into the future. That begged the question…
“Wouldn’t it have been easier to talk to your daughter instead of hiring a company?” I asked.
“What do you know about family, you filthy westerner?” Mr. Honda hissed.
This guy really was a piece of work, but he was right. I am an orphan.
“Why would an improvement company need a military?” I asked.
Mr. Honda laughed. “You really are naïve of the way of this world, girl. You think therapy and books can run a business that massive? Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”
He shoved himself past me and got into his expensive car, leaving me with no answers and the seven words Momoko said.
…
Well, four of those seven words. As I brushed my teeth, all I could think about were these four words…
I want to feel.
It’s been a rollercoaster since I’ve gotten reincarnated, so much so that I didn’t have time to process that I was ‘reincarnated’.
And being reincarnated only means one thing. That you’re dead… and…
I wanted to be a doctor. Needed to be a doctor, it got so intense that I left everything aside. I worked my ass off, so many hours just to get hit by a fucking truck. And even needing to be a doctor, focusing so intensely on that part of my life I still didn’t know why I wanted to become one, even in death.
And for all intents and purposes, I was dead.
I saw water droplets on the sink. I stretched to switch off the tap, but it turns out it was off all along. It didn’t take me too long to realise I was crying.
I fell to my knees, sobs heaving through my entire body.
I was dead, my life was over. And I didn’t know why but I was crying, the pain of being death wrecking my body, making me curl up into a ball.
Through the intense sobs and tears, it occurred to me why I felt so sad. I was mourning my own death and as far as I know, I was the only person doing that.
To be continued…