- That is preposterous and it’s not happening. I will not allow it – my father’s voice spilt from the library. I knew better than to eavesdrop, but I felt like I needed to know what would happen next, to grab on to a little tether of something that could ground me.

- These are my terms and she is my heir – Mami remained composed.

- She may be your heir, but she is my daughter and she is coming with me and her siblings back to Macao.

My breath quickened. Leave… we were about to leave with dad.

- Do I never get to have a word with this bloody family? - dad went on, raising his voice. This was out of character for him but, given all that had fallen upon us, it was only fair that he got to lose his temper as well – Who do you think you are anyway, Margaret? The Sun King?

- Would you rather that she remains blind and deaf to it all? I have been there, João. There is just too much to learn and she is getting an early start. Believe me, it will be better this way.

- She is seven, for Heaven’s sake, Margaret. Her education was only supposed to start at twelve.

A third voice joined in. I knew that voice as well, Mr. Mason, our lawyer – This is the worst possible timing to bring up such a thing, but you did sign an agreement, Mr. Sousa.

- I know what I signed, Mr. Mason. But doesn’t she get to have a childhood?

- Do you think I am not grieving over the loss of my own daughter? - my Mami’s voice was like steel – Do you think, for just one second, that I enjoy this? - I heard the sound of papers being rattled in the air – I was still hoping that Lizzie would come to her senses about this whole inheritance issue. Now, it’s Eleanora’s turn.

- Lady Margaret… - my dad was pleading.

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- She is to stay with me, João. If and when she asks me, whenever I think her education has been completed, she may go to you. Until then, you get holidays and birthdays.

- Please… You can’t take my daughter away from me.

- It has been decided, João. It’s not the end of the world, as much as it may seem like it now.

I ran up to my bedroom. The whole situation only became more and more nightmarish as time went on. I had just lost my mother, was I to lose my siblings as well? Why me? Why was I the one being left behind? We all belonged to the same family, so why was the burden all on my shoulders?

I learned, later on, that with the verbal agreement Mami and daddy had drafted, came a more official one. As my mum shunned the possibility of ever inheriting the title and all that came with it, it was to skip a generation, falling onto me, her first daughter. The agreement stated that my education was to start at twelve and that, at that age, I would basically be under my grandmother’s wing. When my brother came along, it was added that whatever my father’s side of the family had, would skip me and have only my brother and future possible siblings as recipients, also granting them assets.

There was, of course, the clause that no one expected would ever become true, in case of my mother’s premature death, which was to grant my guardianship over to Mami, it did not matter how old I could be.

I had one more week with them. A week to get to know my sister. A week to say goodbye to my dearest brother. A week until I also lost my dad. A week of nightmares and fear of abandonment.

I hugged them farewell and watched as the car that would take them to the airport drove away, through the lawn and into the line of ancient trees, until I could see them no more.

I went back upstairs, to my room and just spent days in silent despair, looming over the horizon for a glimpse of hope. I wanted no food, I wanted no lessons, I wanted no music. The only thing I wanted, was my family back.

Peter knocked on my door, accompanied by his father. Maybe Mami thought that, if the boy had performed a miracle once, he could probably do it twice.

- Dad told me it’s time to feed the fish, in the greenhouse. Do you want to come with me? - he asked.

I just shook my head, eyes still clinging to the horizon.

- I believe we have newborn kittens down there as well – Collins said – If you were to ask me, Lady Eleanora, it may still be cold out there for them. Maybe we could relocate them, with their mummy. Your bedroom is always warm, after all, and kittens are known to provide great company.

The healing process was slow and I don’t know how it unfolded, but I do believe the kittens helped.