Roy’s Motel and Café was an Americana dream come true, with its iconic red, yellow and blue sign, by the side of the road. Adam had gone all out with this holiday because, as far as I could tell, there was no motel side of the business at the time. But he had it all worked out, and we had two bungalows ready for us when we pulled over. The rooms were very plain, but we would only stay the night and leave with the break of dawn, so there really was no issue with any of it. Besides, as a travelling musician, I had seen so much worse, in our early days.

- Put your hiking shoes on – he said to me as we both went into our respective rooms – and bring out the warm clothes. We’re gonna watch the sunset in the middle of the Mojave desert. - he hesitated for a bit – And I guess the Sundown as well.

Adam had a very subtle sense of humour that always made me giggle and shake my head.

We met back outside and drove to the outskirts of tiny Amboy.

- This looks like a moonscape… - I said, as I got out, taking a good 360 view of what surrounded us. I knelt down and picked up a very dark rock speckled with tiny irregular holes. Taking a good look around, all rocks were dark, just like the one I was holding on to – Is this volcanic rock?

- Yep – Adam pointed out into the distance, to the nearest elevation on that alien scenario – And that’s the source of it all. Good eye, by the way.

- Is that where we’re going? - I asked, putting the rock back down on the ground and reaching back into the car, taking my backpack and putting it on.

- If you’re up for it – he grinned. A challenge.

- I’m always up for a hike. - I stuck my tongue out – As long as it’s not a race.

- Not a race, I promise. - he shut the car door and headed on the trail – Come on, gloomy princess. We don’t want to miss the daylight.

We still had some hours of light ahead of us, but there was also a lot of trail. And an upward one at that.

The sky looked so vast and, I knew it was dumb to even think it, but seemed so much higher than usual. The sun was already starting its descent, but we still had a couple of hours more of it over our heads. There were more people there as well, some walking in silence, in reverence for the miles of barren land around us, while others chatted happily, infused with the energy that only walking in Nature can grant. Adam and I walked, mostly, in silence. I was too much in awe with it all to be able to even engage in a conversation without losing sight of it. Besides, the heat was never too kind to me and it was still a very hot day, for my very pale English complexion standards.

- It was always fascinating for me – I huffed, as we were starting our ascent of the crater – how the pioneers did it. I mean – I turned around and motioned into the distance – If I were to find this, as in miles and miles of desert, I don’t know if I would have the drive to carry on. I think I would just turn back, to where there were trees and streams and, you know, not Death…

Adam chuckled, stopping a few steps ahead of me, and running the back of his hand against his forehead – It’s a good thing they were way more headstrong than you, then.

- You know, I’m still waiting for the proverbial cattle skull by the side of the path – I turned back and started walking again.

- I’ll keep an eye out for you, don’t worry – he laughed quietly, as he let me pass him. - Just mind your step. There’s a lot of loose rocks.

- Yeah – I had already noticed that. Despite the visible trail, the terrain was somewhat more difficult, the higher we went – And I’m really not keen on making a European tour on crutches.

- How’s that going, by the way? - his breath came out a bit more ragged, the steeper the path became – That free show you were talking about.

- Oh, it’s settled. - I smiled at no one, really – April 26th, at Tempelhofer Feld. It was a major headache, and we’re still fine-tuning some details, but it’s official.

- That’s good – I heard the smile on Adam’s voice, along with the crunch of his hiking boots behind me – Are you expecting a crowd?

- I don’t care if it’s only a handful of people, you know? I’ll just give them the best show I can – I stepped on a rock wrong and my foot rolled, making me stumble, but I caught myself on time – Again, but not on crutches.

- I told you to watch your step – he rushed to me – Are you OK?

I nodded – Yeah, just a misstep. Thank you.

- We’re almost at the top now – he held out his hand and I hesitated, just shaking my head.

- I’m sorry… I don’t think I can.

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He smiled, dismissing my inability to physically hold on to his hand – Come on, it’s me. No need to apologise. - he fell in step next to me – Don’t get me wrong but… have you considered therapy?

Depending on the time you would ask me, my answer could be both yes or no. The yes part of it was obvious: I had a problem and I acknowledged that I did. I also realised how much my own boundaries were limiting me. But the no part always won, mainly because I was ashamed of telling anyone what my problem stemmed from. I still very much lived riddled with guilt and shame, even when I tried my best to forget about it and just live in the moment, as I was trying to do.

- I’m coping – I just said – I will get there, eventually.

I noticed he was staring at me and chose to not look back, just laying my eyes low on the floor just in front of me.

- I hope that you do.

The sun was almost setting when we got halfway across the brim of the crater. If we looked in the opposite direction, we could see the faint glimmer of stars against the dark blue sky. If we kept following West, we saw the beautiful gradient of warm colours that ranged from orange, to pink, to purple.

- Breathtaking… - was all I could say, almost out of breath myself. We had been walking for almost two hours – Is it safe, though? To be out here in the dark? - I asked, taking my camera and capturing that moment.

- I said I had a surprise for us. We’re good – Adam had his hands on his hips, and was also admiring the show.

- Is this the part where you murder me and dump my body in the desert?

- Tempting as that may be – he bit his lip – I’d rather keep the trip going. I’m too handsome to go to jail.

- Meh – I shrugged, as I knew it would get under his skin. He was, after all, a Hollywood actor. He made a living on both his talent and his looks. And he knew that it wasn’t true that I thought he could be just average-looking. If there ever was a teenage heartthrob, that would be Adam Fairchild, most certainly.

- Careful, Blackburn, it’s a tricky fall – he laughed.

The sun went below the horizon, at last, and it seemed like the residual heat of the day was also going along with it.

- Is this sundown? Like, really, really sundown? - he asked.

- This is sundown – I said, as the dusky shadows started taking over. It would be pitch black soon enough.

- Here – he took his backpack and set it on the ground, taking a torch for himself and giving me one as well – Let’s keep going.

- Is that a bonfire down there?… - I noticed when I turned around and looked at the centre of the crater.

His hand hovered in front of my eyes – Don’t look. You’ll spoil the surprise.

- Adam…?

- Stargazing! - he made a grand gesture upwards – Come on!

It took us a while to get down to what was once the centre of an active volcano, mostly because we had to be very careful where we were stepping, in the dark. By the bonfire, there was a man who shook Adam’s hand, when he got there.

- El, this is Ed Baker, he’s a park ranger here.

- Off-duty, today – he greeted me – Nice to meet you. I loved you on The Dark Heart.

- How do you do? - I smiled – Well, you did more than I did. - I lowered my voice, as if anyone else there could hear me – I haven’t watched it yet.

Ed let out a loud laugh – Well, then… Do you want to know how it ends?

The ranger had brought some light food and some marshmallows to toast over the bonfire and gave us a whole lesson, not only about the stars above us, but also about the Mojave desert, his passion.

- This really is grand… - I said, looking upwards, at the star-painted sky – You don’t get this view from just about anywhere.

Adam was checking the star chart on his lap and then trying to locate the constellations above, before using the telescope Ed had brought out for us – I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen so many stars, really.

- And you live in Los Angeles.

He giggled – And I’ve been to the Walk of Fame many times.

I borrowed his star chart and he reached into his bag.

- I heard you just had your birthday.

- I did. - I said, distractedly, as I traced the chart with my index finger – My sweet sixteen, as you say around these parts.

- Well, I got you a little something, birthday girl.

Adam gently grabbed my hand in his and put a little glass jar, with a cork on top, on the palm of my hand.

- You didn’t have to… Thank you – I turned my torch on and put the light on it. It looked like just plain dirt – I would say I love it out of politeness, but I really wanted to know what it was beforehand.

He grinned, looking a little bit embarrassed – Well, you were reading Poe on set, right?

I nodded.

- So, when I came back from Paris, I made a quick stop in Baltimore and I hopped off to Poe’s original grave site.

I opened my eyes wide, first at the dirt, and then at Adam – You’ve desecrated Edgar Allan Poe’s grave?…

- I didn’t go full-on grave snatcher – he showed the palms of his hands, clearly an innocent man – I just took a teenie-tiny bit. That’s not even a spoonful.

- Oh, my word… Adam! - I gazed back at the little vial of dirt – I don’t know if I should thank you or smack you over the head…

- I mean, to be honest, he’s not even there anymore. That’s dirt from his original burial site. Now there’s no dirt around his new… stone thingy.

- Epitaph?

- Yeah, that.

- Well, thank you, Adam – I turned to look at him holding onto the excitingly eerie memento – I really am honoured that you went to such lengths for me. But, please, promise me you won’t go on excavating any other people’s tombs on my behalf.

He smiled, pursing his lips – Only if a part asks for it – he lifted three fingers in the air – Scout’s honour.

I closed my fingers over the cold glass. It really was a thoughtful gift, even if I did not agree with his methodology.

- You know… - he interrupted my line of thought – If this was a movie, this would be the part where we would kiss under the stars – his voice sounded sure, but he looked away when he said it.

- Good thing this is real life, then – I said, crossing my legs and following his gaze upwards – Because that would be very weird.

He looked back at me, with his brows knitted – Why?

- Well, because it would really be like kissing my brother, wouldn’t it?

He looked away again – Yeah, you’re probably right. - he closed his eyes – I mean, I don’t have a sister, but I surely wouldn’t wanna go around kissing her.

Ed drove us back to where Adam had parked his Firebird and we went back to Roy’s.

- Thank you, Adam – I told him, as he walked me to my room – it was a lovely day.

- Yeah, it was a great day, wasn’t it? - he put his hands in his pockets and stood there, a little uncomfortable – Listen… Just lock everything up, OK? I’ll be right next door if you need me.