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16, In Which Joshua Gets A Headache

16, In Which Joshua Gets A Headache

  "I'm sure you all know why we are gathered together."

  "Of course we do! Berst, Greg, Eliza, Sood, Peter, Phineas, Murel, Lucy, Antipeadus, all dead! That upstart who appeared out of nowhere is killing us all!"

  "We have to put him down. We need to pool information. Every immortal has a weakness. We just need to find out the nature of his. Jonathan, you organized this. Start being useful or I'm leaving."

  "Calm down everyone! Be patient, isn't that what immortals are supposed to be good at? Yes Elizabeth, I have important information. I, Jonathan, fought our common enemy and survived."

  "What? Not even Jonathan could beat him. . ."

  "But he is alive! Tell us all about it, what is his weakness?"

  "QUIET! I'm trying to talk. Now, I fought him, but nothing I did could put a scratch on him. I tried everything. Our fight lasted a whole month. At some points it was rather gentlemanly, we tried everything we could think of against each other in turns. Nothing worked. Finally we agreed to honestly tell each other our weakness. I told him mine, it's no big secret. He told me he either did not have one or was unaware of it. We both realized we couldn't kill each other. I was unprepared for imprisonment tactics and he doesn't use those, so I ran away. I consider it a loss."

  "No weakness, that is ridiculous! That's impossible! All immortals are instinctively aware of their weakness! He must be lying!"

  "Clearly impossible people should not doubt the impossible, Garth. Can we bargain with him?"

  "Peace isn't an option, our liaison Grayson has informed us of that."

  "What really gets me is he came out of nowhere, he has skill and experience that rivals the eldest of us. Sood was the oldest immortal around, literally a caveman, and Joshua killed him in less than a week!"

  "He must have been in hiding, or perhaps some kind of reincarnation? But the only reason Sood lost was because Joshua figured out his weakness. If I knew it I would have offed that old fart ages ago."

  "Yeah I was disappointed, to think it was something as simple as vulnerability to wounds inflicted by insects."

  "Okay, back on topic everyone! We obviously need some kind of organization to defeat our common foe. I propose we form a Pact."

  "So Bill/Ted, you said the bus-driver said someone other than me was not a human, correct?" We are waiting at the bus stop to go to school. I've been excited for this opportunity to talk to the bus driver again. Who is she? She knows about something particularly dangerous. What are her goals?

  "C-correct." Stammered Bill/Ted. He was trying to slowly edge away from my dear sister Erin standing next to him without making it obvious. Poor guy, it's understandable, Erin is making a pretty scary face. She is probably just trying to figure out how to apologize for yelling at him this morning. Should I help her? Nah, this is good for Erin. It is important for people to try to resolve their own problems. But back to the topic at hand!

  "If the bus driver met this person does that mean he/she rides this bus?" I didn't notice anything unusual yesterday.

  "Um, I guess so. It was last year, so maybe he moved? Or he could have been absent yesterday. Lots of people don't bother showing up for the first day of school because nothing important happens."

  "That makes sense. So whoever we are dealing with could be on the bus today. We best be careful. If it is another immortal we should be ready for a fight." How exciting! Non-humans are much much more rare these days, it is always wonderful to see them and help them out. And if it is another immortal I will have the good fortune of killing them. It feels good to do good, you know?

  "A fight? On a school bus? Probably not a good idea, and I can't fight anyways." Reasoned Bill/Ted.

  "I don't pass up opportunities to fight other immortals, and Erin and I should be okay without you. You just stay safe or whatever and clean up after we are done. Oh, here is the bus!" The bus came around the corner and screeched to a stop before us. I rushed to be the first one on.

  The doors opened and I saw the bus driver, she looked the same with those big mirrored aviators still obscuring her face. I was about to speak when she shushed me, made an obvious winking motion with her head, and pointed to the back of the bus. I turned and looked, looked away, looked back.

  "Oh no, why did it have to be him?" I groaned. I recognized the teenager sitting at the very back with his head down. "Of all people it had to be that guy. Erin, Bill/Ted, I'm going to go sit in the back. You two sit together, I will explain later." Bill/Ted made a strangled pained noise and Erin blankly nodded, her face still cruelly distorted by thought. I left them behind and made my way to the back.

  The head came up and his brown eyes flashed with recognition, that's right, he never forgets people. "Friend!" He exclaimed jubilantly, "What do you call yourself nowadays? Here have a seat, excuse me Roger, but could you please move? This is an old friend I have not seen in a long time." He waved the boy he was previously sitting next to off, and I sat down.

  "Hello Grayson, I'm Joshua Sterling right now. What are you doing here?" You know how everyone has people they just can't deal with? Well, that applies to me too, and for me, I can't deal with Grayson. He gives me a headache.

  "Joshua Sterling! A wonderful name! But really you should be more enthused dear friend! It has been too long since we last met. Is this how you treat your oldest friend? Come now, we must celebrate and tell each other of our many adventures!" Ugh, he is so annoying.

  "Yes I suppose we shall, I guess I could actually use your help at the moment too. But please answer my question." Please don't go on and on with your annoying prattle!

  "I am always at your disposal! You better know that you old boiled clam you." What. Does. That. Even. Mean. "I am just on my usual journey to meet people and expand my link. I will unite the human race!" Oh, that again.

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  "Are you still going on about that? What a pointless impossible dream. There are a lot of people in the world, millions are born each day. You physically can't do it." Such an idiot, pointless. I admire his single mindedness though. He has been trying to accomplish this ever since I first met him.

  "Of course I know that Joshua! But if I never exceed my reach, how will I know what I can grasp? My link right now binds over two million people!" Seriously? That is a new record.

  "I am impressed, I would rather that you were linked to zero people though."

  "But then I would die!" Laughed Grayson. "Oh, you would like that wouldn't you? But no, I won't die, not even for you Joshua. So do you go to this school too? I was gonna stick around another week or two and move on, but if you're here that changes things. So what was it that you needed help with? Is it the Pact again?"

  "No, not at the moment, they still don't know where I am. I'm actually having a little spat with Alfy, he betrayed me you see."

  "Oh really? Alfonso did? Well I will lend you any aid I can of course. What is your current situation?" Hmmm, my situation.

  "Fairly good, two extremely adept servants, a killer sister, and a blank canvas. Vs. Alfonso and the Historians, who control about 80% of the world." We got this. I'm confident.

  ". . . Sounds good!" Grayson noticed my confidence, he knew what that meant. "Bring them here! I must meet my comrades for the upcoming battle!"

  "Fine, don't link with them before explaining what it is and asking permission. Respect their wishes." I don't like Grayson's ability. I don't like it at all. I got up and went to fetch Erin and Bill/Ted. I found them sitting together towards the front of the bus, excellent. I love good obedient kids.

  What's this? The air is extremely awkward and everybody seems nervous. Oh that's why, Bill/Ted was on the window side of the seat flattening himself against the wall. Erin was looking directly at him with that "I'll murder you" look on her face she has whenever she is thinking. It was making everybody very uncomfortable.

  "Erin! What's the matter with you? Snap out of it! You shouldn't try so hard to do things your brain is clearly not designed to do!" I'm sure of it, Erin is the definition of a muscle head. Erin groggily shook her head and seemed to come back to herself.

  "Oh, Joshua? Why are you talking to me? I was thinking. I'm really tired now. . ." Erin said as her eyes fluttered down.

  "This is no time to sleep Erin! We need to go recruit our new ally for the upcoming battle. If we lose then your ordinary life will be gone! Get your military mind in gear! Bill/Ted! You too! Quit cowering like a scared puppy and come with me." Erin's eyes snapped open, this time cold and calculating. She curtly nodded and followed me to the back of the bus. Bill/Ted followed, wringing his hands nervously. All of the other students on the bus were looking at us like we were crazy. This is so much fun!

  "This is Grayson, another immortal," said Joshua. "Grayson, this is Erin and Bill/Ted."

  "Another immortal?" Gasped Bill/Ted. "Don't you fight those or something?"

  "Typically yes, but Grayson is special. I won't kill him." I explained.

  "It's because he loves me as a brother!" Interjected Grayson.

  "Even if you were my brother, I would still kill you. No, it's for a better reason. Grayson, explain properly please." I just want to get this over with. After we put Alfonso in his place I can kick Grayson to the curb.

  "So you aren't the only immortal Joshua?" Asked Erin. Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. Oh, I guess I never did tell her that, did I?

  "Well he is, kind of." Cut in Grayson. "I am certain that Joshua is a flawless Immortal. The only one that is currently known. He has no weakness. There are many other people like myself who may be considered immortal. But all of us have a flaw, a weakness, a way to die. So in the truest sense of the word, Joshua is the only Immortal. The rest of us just look like half baked clowns next to him." Do you realize how depressing that is for me? Grayson you should be more sensitive.

  "I think you downplay how powerful other immortals are, but as much as I hate to say it, I can't disprove your words." I said as I shrugged. Well whatever, no need to dwell on this subject. "Hey Grayson! Quit messing around and tell them about yourself or I will." We only have ten minutes or so before we arrive at school you know.

  "Oh fine, so there are many different ways to be immortal. I could list about a thousand off the top of my head. Each of these ways are categorized by the ability behind the immortality. Some could be considered common, some rare, some unique. I am one of the unique ones. My immortality is based off my ability that I have named Link. Whomever I make skin to skin contact with becomes Linked with me forever. Those in my Link age a little faster in my stead. Since this effect is distributed equally throughout the Link the effect is less than noticeable. Any damage I receive is also distributed equally through the Link, but this time with me included. If you deal enough damage to me you can kill me, but that would also kill everyone I am Linked to. That is why Joshua won't kill me. Pretty cool huh? The floor is open to questions." Grayson finished his speech beaming with joy.

  "How many people are you linked to?" Asked Bill/Ted.

  "To be exact 2,083,604. I always know exactly how many people I am Linked with. I can also always tell if I've Linked with someone or not. For instance I've Linked with everyone on this bus except the bus driver, Joshua, and Erin." Bill/Ted's eyes grew big.

  "You didn't mention my name! Does that mean you have already met me and Linked with me?"

  "Yes, at a baseball game about a month ago, in the line for hot dogs. You were Dax then, and you mentioned you had a peculiarly strong dislike for mismatched socks." Grayson smiled as he reminisced. He is having too much fun with this.

  "You can remember stuff like that? Creepy!" Is what Bill/Ted said, but he looks kinda happy. Probably because someone remembered him.

  Erin spoke up again, "So if you die Grayson, Bill/Ted is going with you?"

  "Yes." Bill/Ted suddenly looked scared. Good, he should be. But what misfortune, Bill/Ted is already weaved into Grayson's Link. I wanted to prevent that.

  "The Link is made just by skin to skin contact, correct?" Asked Erin, now frowning. Grayson nodded. "Is there any way to break the Link?"

  "There is not." Oh really. Going to lie now Grayson? Well I will allow it, breaking the Link brings about an even worse fate. Grayson is smiling at me, that jerk. He knows I won't tell on him, so that is why he did it. Like I said, I can't handle this guy. He knows me too well.

  Grayson went on, "But there are a few other sides to my power, one, my hobby, is to meet and learn something about people. I remember them all and can recognize and recall them at any age. Even if they are in disguise I will recognize them. I can also temporarily summon physical strength or intelligence from the Link. Everyone becomes a little weaker or dumber, I become incredibly strong or intelligent. Cool huh? I can't do that very often though. Anyways, enough about that! Erin, will you join me in the Link? I can’t give you anything but my gratitude, but you will have another connection binding you to all those in the Link. Your destiny will never be lonely again!” Grayson’s eyes showed something of a manic gleam as he pressured Erin.

  She frowned, then her face distorted. Really? Is she seriously thinking about this? “There is literally no reason for you to Link your life with this parasite Erin. In fact, please don’t. As your brother I advise against it.” This should really be a no brainer. . .

  Erin’s face relaxed, then hardened with something like rebellion, then it softened again. I do believe she is listening to reason! Major Miracle! Wait, maybe I should be worried? Is she sick?

  “I don’t need something like your Link in my life Grayson.” Cold words finally slipped from her mouth denying Grayson. I couldn’t keep the smirk off my face. “What are you grinning about!? Don’t act like you're really my brother, it feels seriously disgusting.” Ouch! Shot down huh? Man, I thought I might get some points for that one too, you're a tough nut to crack sissy.