The rooms Frescan gave us for the night were surprisingly nice for an establishment in the middle of nowhere where the name was just what it was. The human sized bed was plush and spacious, and our host had even brought up a bar stool so I would be comfortable writing at the desk.

The whole inn was reserved for us and Krad. A bold move but, as an official quest giver, Frescan would be making no small amount from the Rat King's dungeon. He could afford it, and those in town that knew what was going on didn't mind. They'd be rolling in coins, too. Dungeons were known to shock economies into new life.

Another round of applause followed a holler and the rushing crackle of magically conjured flames. I had given Ferrisdae the night off since she had done most of the work in the dungeon. That would leave me with the paperwork, which I didn't mind. It was calming. It made sense to me. I looked it over one more time.

Kingdom of the Rat King, Ratopolis

Recommended party size: 1-2.

Boss level: Low.

Boss race: Rat.

Boss category: Animal, Spellcaster.

Dungeon type: Reoccurring.

Repeatable: Yes.

Location: Under "Tavern" in Thatcher.

Primary quest giver: Frescan, tavern proprietor.

Status: Second check in 2 weeks.

That's what I wrote on my Sending Stone, anyway. The record keepers at the DoD would file the basics and I would add the rest of the documents once I got back to headquarters.

I rolled the parchment detailing the dungeon and Ferrisdae's talk with the mayor and secured it in a scroll case. Setting it off to the side, I grabbed the next scroll. Now it was time for a map. While most inspectors were poor artists and absolutely hated cartography, I always said they shouldn't shirk their responsibility and needed to practice more. A poor dungeon map could be a dangerous thing in the wrong circumstances.

I switched quills to one better suited for drawing and produced a thick, flat stick from my cartographer's kit. Not a single detail of the floor plan was out of place in my head. I began, adding every little thing from the amount of casks, where and what the trap was, even drawing out the individual pillows on the ground from the throne room.

By the time I switched to an even finer quill to dig into what some would call unnecessarily deep details, I heard someone stumbling up the stairs. Someone light, but stomping nonetheless. Ferrisdae. She had been with Frescan and Krad downstairs, celebrating a fine first mission with all you could drink booze and, from the sounds of it, drunk casting.

Her footsteps stopped right outside my door. I hesitated, holding the tip of my quill in the ink. Then, as I feared, she stumbled into my room. We locked eyes and I had to stop myself from laughing. Her entire face, from her neck to the tips of her ears, was bright red. She looked like a tomato covered in hay.

"Budger," Ferrisdae slurred. She was having trouble keeping her voice a consistent pitch. Her head tilted as she leaned against the door frame. "Badger. Badger, Badger, Badger. Hi"

"Hello," I responded, failing to keep my amusement out of my voice. "Yes, I am Badger."

She paused. "I'm gonna come in."

"Please don't, your room is next- okay, sure, come on in." Ferrisdae shuffled to the bed despite my protest and sat down. I got a huge whiff of what she had been drinking; if she thought Krad's throne room would sicken adventurers, she wasn't ready for the morning.

"Badger, I gotta ask you a question and you gotta answer it, okay?" She said, leaning against the bed's footboard. "Ya gotta."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "I'll wait to hear the question before accepting that my answer is inevitable, thank you."

"You're welcome," she said without hesitation, like a reflex. "I just got off the Stone with Brack and-"

"The chief called? You answered like this?" Adrenaline and panic rushed through me at the thought of a drunk teenager trying to report all of this to the chief.

"No, no, no," she giggled, waving a hand dismissively. My nerves began to calm. "I called him."

I rested my face in my hand. "Okay, so you called the boss while drunk. Great. Did he say anything important?" I was no longer amused. She wouldn't be so calm if it hadn't gone well though, I reasoned. Probably something dwarf related.

"He said congrats and to have another drink for him." Her eyes widened and she scooted forward. "I gotta go have another drink. For the boss man."

"You already had enough, Ferrisdae," I chided. "Anything actually important?"

"Oh yeah, I did drink a lot, didn't I?" She leaned back against the footboard and tapped her chin. "Something important."

"Or everything important. Frankly, I'd settle for anything important."

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Ferrisdae shook her head, then nodded. "He said we gotta come back to headquarters in New Frausta. Something important, he couldn't talk about it over stone."

"He mentioned something about getting a subjugation fast tracked the last time I spoke to him," I told her before looking up, thinking about the route we'd have to take to get back to base. "I guess we'll have to take a wagon back to Elease and hook up with a caravan back to New Frausta. Shouldn't take more than four days. Anything else?"

"Something else? Yeah! There was a question." Her face lit up as she pointed at the table I was sitting at. "Why are you acting so mean?"

That caused me to sigh. It was practically a reflex at this point. "Acting? Ferrisdae, I am mean," I claimed.

"Nuh uh. I told Brack what you did and what you said and he said you were a big softy and I knew that when you gave me the hair tie that I lost and I don't know where it is." Ferrisdae took a deep breath after that. I glanced at her head; sure enough, it was still keeping her hair in a ponytail.

"That's okay," I told her. "I'm sure it'll turn up. Would you like to return to your room and go to sleep? I still have more work to do."

"You've done enough work," she pouted. "Come and drink with me. Frescan already went to bed and Krad's a loaf of bread again."

I scowled at her. A quick goodnight would have been fine. This was just annoying. "How about this," I said. "I'm going to keep working, but I'll talk with you while I do it, okay? But no more drinking, you're already going to have a killer hangover."

"Deal!" Ferrisdae said with a nod so exaggerated she nearly threw herself back on the bed. She shrugged off her mage's robes, revealing much more comfortable purple and yellow garb for exploring dungeons. "Whatcha want to talk about?"

I spun on my bar stool and pulled the quill from the inkwell before speaking. "Why don't you tell me why you wanted to join the Department of Dungeons?" That should keep her talking for a while.

"Cause I wanted ta." I raised an eyebrow, but she continued without further prompting. "Why I gotta tell you about me when you don't tell me about you?"

"Fine," I said. I pretended to give in; she'd be too sleepy to care soon. "You tell me, and I'll tell you. Fair?"

"Yeah, good deal," she said. "I joined the DoD because my family sucks."

"Mmhmm. Family trouble?"

"No, they're amazing and I love them. Even Cairosin, even if he's a little demon toddler. I mean, c'mon, you're 32, you aren't gonna die walking through the dark to use the toilet."

I chose to ignore that. "I'm confused, Ferrisdae, because you told me they suck. Just now." The words flowed from my mouth, but I was hardly paying attention. This treasure hoard wasn't going to draw itself.

"You don't understand, Badger!" She whined. "I'm a prodigy. I could do whatever I wanted. Be an adventurer, an adjudicator, an accountant, and other things that start with the letter A, probably."

At the very least, I was impressed that she managed to slur her way through the word adjudicator. "So, too controlling?"

"Not even! They were too supportive! I could do whatever I wanted and they'd say they believe in me. Never coddled like Cairosin, but he's the baby so it's cool."

I couldn't help it, I sighed. This damn girl. "That sounds horrible. Just ghastly," I said as dryly as I could.

"Yeah, yeah," Ferrisdae said. I heard her settle in on my bed. "Yeah…"

The room became quiet. I could clearly hear every scritch and scratch of quill and parchment as well as her slowing breath. "I'm in it for the money," I said softly.

"Hmm? Whatcha say?"

"I said goodnight, Ferrisdae."

"Call me Ferry…" She said before interrupting herself with a snore. That got a chortle out of me. An Elf snoring.

I worked for another half an hour or so before I deemed the map was up to my standards. The Quickdry Stone that I used from my cartographer's kit completely dried the ink and I rolled it up to put it away.

Turning around, I frowned at Ferrisdae. She was half sitting, half laying on the bed and its footboard. That really couldn't be comfortable, but I remembered being young. Relatively, in this case. The youth could sleep anywhere.

I couldn't just leave her like this. Well, I could, but it didn't sit right with me. After taking off her boots, I rolled her so that she was actually laying in the bed. It was easy even though I was small compared to her. Elves were surprisingly light, though I suppose she was also small by their standards. I readjusted her pillow and covered her with her robe. She clutched it immediately.

"Big softy Badger," she murmured.

"No, this is just a dream," I told her. She nodded and began snoring again.

I tossed a baleful glance at the cases full of paperwork. Fatigue rushed over me and I stifled a yawn. It could be dealt with tomorrow. I left my room and went to Ferrisdae's, changing into night clothes. I fell asleep quickly after my head hit the oversized pillow.

******

"Wakey, wakey!"

The cheerful voice roused me from my slumber, and I turned towards the wall. "Gimme another hour, Tabs," I murmured through my foggy mind.

The door opened and closed again as she entered. The room was filled with the smell of eggs and meat. That started waking me up. "Wow, the great Inspector Badger is not a morning person. Who could have guessed?"

My eyes fluttered open, trying to get used to the light pouring through the window. I turned my head to see Ferrisdae standing by the table holding a plate of food. "Why do you keep barging into my room?" I grumbled.

"If you don't want breakfast, I-"

"I didn't say that." Slowly, I started to turn the rest of my body. Even more slowly, I swung my feet off of the bed. Ferrisdae continued to smile at me, and I squinted at her. "Why aren't you dying?"

She barked a laugh. "I was when I woke up. Then I fixed it." I kept staring at her. Probably scowling, it was hard to tell this early. "I took a hangover potion to get rid of it."

"Bah. Don't let the chief hear you admitting that," I said. "Crazy Dwarf thinks hangovers are things to be earned and worn like a badge of honor. He once took on this legendary Orcish bar crawl, and I don't know if you know about Orc alcohol but it's basically nothing that should be consumed by any living thing. He made it to the end, leaving four dozen drinkers crashed behind him, and fell into a coma for seven days. Woke up with a hangover that lasted another… two…"

I was suddenly aware of Ferrisdae's grin. Bright eyes, bushy tail. "... What?"

"You get really chatty in the morning," she sang. "Can't help yourself, can you?"

I groaned and waved her towards the door. "Just go. Leave the food and go bother Frescan or Krad."

"Sure thing, Badger," she said. As she was leaving she stopped in the doorway and looked back at me. "And don't think we're leaving behind last night's conversation. I've got a lot to explain, and so do you. I'm also very interested to hear about this Tabs person."

She shut the door just in time to avoid the pillow flying at her face. I could hear her laughing even after she descended the stairs.