As Ferrisdae went about identifying the magical items, I was checking out the shield. It was a wooden round shield that had been painted white with a large black profile of a raven or crow. I wasn’t sure what wood it was made out of, but it sounded sturdy when I knocked on it.
I was halfway tempted to ask Cojisto to punch it, but immediately discarded the thought. He’d probably end up destroying it.
I adjusted the leather strap meant to keep the shield on its bearer’s arm, and held it in front of me as if I were going to defend against a sword strike. It was larger than my magical shield. Heavier, too. The difference wasn’t massive, though; this wooden one only added about six inches to the diameter I was used to. It was manageable.
Removing my arm from the shield, I looked at the tarnished silver ring. It was meant for someone bigger than me, and I could fit two fingers through it. Either a large Human or perhaps an Orc wore this. There weren't any markings adorning the ring, either. It was just a simple, tarnished silver ring. Odd.
The coins were also odd. Most of them were silver, though there was a smattering of copper and gold. Each was embossed with the same crow that was on the shield, and a single feather was shown on the flip side. The Northeastern Continent, where Razorbeak originally hailed from, was unified and had coins with square holes in them, so these didn’t come from there. I had never seen currency like this before, and had to assume that it came from the dungeon itself.
“Okay, so I have some good news and some bad news,” Ferrisdae said, clasping her hands together. “So the good news is, I’ve identified the scrolls and potions.”
I set the coins down next to the ring and looked at her. Cojisto, who had been pacing, sat down next to Moose. “I’m assuming that the bad news is you haven’t identified the trowel,” I guessed.
Ferrisdae sighed and picked it up. It looked just like any regular trowel. It shined in the torchlight that had been lit throughout the town and had a wooden handle.
“That’s right,” she said, giving me a nod. “It has an aura of transmutation about it, so it’s supposed to alter something into something else, but I can’t figure out exactly what that something is.”
I reached out for the trowel, and Ferrisdae handed it over. Holding it in my hand, I flipped it over a few times. I confirmed that it was, in fact, a trowel. Something stung the back of my neck, and I swatted at it. I looked at my hand, but whatever bit me had already flown away.
“Damn bugs,” I muttered.
“Perhaps we should go inside?” Ferrisdae suggested. “It’s getting a bit cold, anyway.”
I raised my eyebrow. “I thought you couldn’t get cold anymore after Oristrella’s blessing,” I said.
“Maybe I just don’t want to start getting eaten alive out here by bugs, Badger,” Ferrisdae said. She stuck her tongue out at me and stood, collecting the bowls and spoons.
Cojisto stood up as well. “You two do not need to worry about Moose,” he said. “Moose has a thick hide, and any bugs would be no match for him.”
“That’s really good for Moose,” Ferrisdae replied. “But I’m an Elf, I’ll be fine getting away from things trying to bite me, thank you very much.” She started heading towards the mess hall’s entrance.
I stood while Ferrisdae returned our dishes, still staring at the trowel. Cojisto began returning the other items into the bag since we had nothing else to carry them in. I turned the gardening tool in my hands every which way, following after Cojisto as he made his way towards the front of the mess hall to wait for Ferrisdae.
“You look entranced by that thing,” Cojisto noted. “It’s not some kind of evil trowel, is it? Demanding your attention with the seductive whispers of dark secrets?”
That snapped me out of my stupor. Blinking a few times, I looked up at Cojisto. “What?” I asked. “You know how stupid that sounds, don’t you?”
“Ah, but now you’re not staring at it,” Cojisto said with a grin. “Which means that if it were an evil trowel, then that would be one point for Cojisto.”
I shook my head at him slowly. Ferrisdae joined us. “Did I miss something?” she asked.
“No, just Cojisto being Cojisto,” I sighed. We began walking towards our tent. The center of the settlement was both lively and full. Men were drinking at the prospect of a sudden day off, and a group of them were drunkenly singing catchy carols about witches, wives, and a hard day’s work. The atmosphere was good all around.
“It’s probably a Stone Scraper,” I said, taking my eyes away from the celebration. I lifted the trowel and waved it. “It’s a tool used to dig into solid stone. Only a little bit at a time based on the size, but it has its uses.”
Ferrisdae gave me a strange look. “How do you know?” She asked. “Have you come across one of those before? Does your friend or foe aura sight let you see magical auras, too?”
“No, I don’t see any aura around it,” I said with a shrug. “But it’s a magical trowel, you said it had a transmutation aura on it, and a Stone Scraper is the only thing I can think of that hits that description.”
“Huh, okay,” Ferrisdae said. “I guess that will come in handy since we’re going to be surrounded by stone in the morning.”
Cojisto nodded. “It will be a great tool indeed, but what of the other items?” he asked. “The scroll and the potions.”
“Oh right, I didn’t tell you about those yet, did I?” Ferrisdae tapped herself on the forehead. “The scroll is for a spell called Divine Purification, and we have a potion of Healing and a potion of Glow.”
“So we have a scroll that removes poison, curses, and disease, a potion to keep the dying alive, and a potion that makes the skin of whoever drinks it glow like a torch,” I listed off. “Three out of four items worth using isn’t bad, I’d say.”
“Is the odd one out the potion of Healing since you think we’ll be fine in the dungeon?” Cojisto asked.
“What? No,” I scowled. “The potion of Glow. Why would we need to bring attention to ourselves like that? Felder Rockcrusher, the guy who’s in charge of the actual mine, would have put up lanterns for the Humans who have poor night vision to see. That’ll be enough for us.”
“Okay,” Cojisto said, his voice skeptical. “But if we do need it for whatever reason, I want to be the one to drink it. I shall be a bright star deep underground!”
“You want to shine like a star, Cojisto?” Ferrisdae asked with a laugh.
“Of course! I can’t be afraid to burn brightly if I am trying to become the world’s greatest adventurer, can I?” he asked loudly. “What kind of man would I be if I was?”
“A sane one?” I offered. “Look, we’re going to have to fight whatever’s in there anyway, glowing or no glowing. I’d rather not give up the tactical advantage of stealth so that you can play at being a firefly.”
Cojisto set a hand on my shoulder. “I am hearing you, Badger,” he said. I shrugged him off. He didn’t seem to take any of what I was saying personally. “But I am still offering up my services.”
“Grand,” I said dryly.
We entered our tent to see that most of the people had cleared out. A few men happened to be sleeping already, while a group of three played some kind of card game using a bed as a table. Each of them had yellow auras, and didn’t give Cojisto or I a second look. Their gaze lingered on Ferrisdae, but one of the men took the opportunity to switch out a card, and another caught them in the corner of their vision. A hushed argument ensued.
Cojisto took one of the beds closest to Ferrisdae’s curtain, but I hesitated to take the other. Instead, I tapped the Elf on the arm before she could enter her private room. She stopped and looked at me. “Did you want me to take care of that?” I asked, gesturing towards her hair.
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Ferrisdae looked down at me blankly for a moment, but a sunny grin erupted onto her face. “Sure, Badger,” she said. “Please, for the second time, grace my chambers with thy presence.” With a big, sweeping gesture, Ferrisdae moved the curtain aside and motioned for me to enter.
Instead, I just stared at her with a disapproving look.
“You know I’m not going to change,” she said. “So you might as well accept it. This is just how your apprentice is.”
“This is just how my apprentice is,” I repeated sullenly under my breath. Then I sighed, kicked off my shoes, and entered her room. “I figured we could… chat, while I took care of your hair.”
“A chat?” Ferrisdae said, as if she were scandalized. “Why, the people would just talk and talk if they knew you wanted a chat, wouldn’t they?”
I leveled a look at her. “Okay, yes, your antics are probably amusing to someone,” I said. “But I’m not the right audience and I’m going to need you to tone it down a bit. Got it?”
Ferrisdae laughed, but nodded. “Sure, I can do that,” she said, taking a seat on the bed. She started to run her fingers through her hair.
“I’ll take care of that,” I said. “We don’t want it to get too untangled. We don’t have anything to tie it with.”
I got onto the bed behind her, and started feeling through her hair. It was thick and soft, and for a moment I felt very jealous of Elves. Just for a moment, though.
“While I’m working, why don’t you tell me how the maps worked?”
“Oh, they varied,” Ferrisdae answered. She tried to look back at me, but I pushed her head straight. “The map you called poor stopped working as soon as I was out of the tent and didn’t come back until you approached us. The middling map worked better, for about twice the distance.”
“Would you say that as soon as I left the radius where other dots would pop up, that’s when they turned off?” I asked. Running my fingers through her hair, I decided to go with a Halfling-style crown braid.
“Accurate,” Ferrisdae confirmed. “The detailed map worked throughout the whole settlement, but stopped working if we stepped too far away from the walls. I’d say about fifty feet or so. It’s only good near and within the walls.”
“That bodes well for the dungeon map we’ll get tomorrow, then,” I said. My hands got to work, parting her hair before grabbing three segments to begin braiding. “Did you get a chance to talk to Carr about equipment?”
“Some, I told him that the most important thing we needed was chalk, and he said it wouldn’t be a problem,” Ferrisdae said. “But then he asked me what I thought about the obelisk. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was studying the crystal.”
I grunted. “Sure, as long as we have the equipment that Cojisto and Moose somehow got today, all we’d need is the stuff to draw the ritual circles. So that works,” I told her.
As I braided, I loosened some slightly. Her hair was long enough to reach the small of her back, and I would definitely need to continue braiding even after the crown was complete.
“That’s what I thought, so I didn’t want to go and bother him again,” Ferrisdae said. Her head moved just a little bit in a nod, but she stopped herself before getting too far.
“And now that business is out of the way,” I said slowly before hesitating. This wasn’t something I was good at. “How… are you feeling? After the scene outside, I mean.”
Ferrisdae exhaled loudly. I continued to braid as she collected her thoughts. “I know that it wasn’t our fault that we weren’t here for Razorbeak’s attack,” she said. “And I know that we wouldn’t have made it in time unless we left Ori’s dungeon immediately. But then we’d get lost because we didn’t know the way until I asked Hellisby about it.”
“But your logical side isn’t helping to calm your heart, is it,” I guessed.
“It’s not,” Ferrisdae confirmed. “I keep thinking that we could have gotten that information before we left the mage’s tower, and then if I wasn’t so worried to send Cojisto and Moose after the mages, then we wouldn’t have had to go back to Crystal Snows. And that means it was my fault that we weren’t there for the attack.”
I stopped braiding for a moment, and stared at the back of Ferrisdae’s head. “You’re hiding it well,” I finally said, resuming wrangling her unruly hair. It was as if it had begun fighting back now, like how she was always pushing it out of her face.
“That’s just a skill some people pick up really easily,” she said softly.
Sighing, I stopped braiding enough to set what I hoped was a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You are not to blame for this, but it’s okay to grieve,” I said. “No matter when we would have arrived, the window for us getting there and going into this first wagon was, what? Ten minutes at most? The odds of us arriving at the right time were not in our favor.”
“But we still could have,” Ferrisdae muttered.
“Or, we could have arrived without Cojisto and Moose, gone through the dungeon without the equipment they found, thus putting you in Carr’s debt, and then left it to find that Razorbeak attacked the mages when we finished up here,” I pitched. Standing on the bed, I moved around so I could begin braiding on the other side of her head. Her eyes were red, but she was holding it in. “It’s tragic, yes, but you are not to blame.”
“But I'm supposed to be better than this," she protested. "I have to live up to expectations."
“You're only as good as you are, Ferrisdae,” I said. “Sod the expectations, the people who place high expectations are the same ones who are never satisfied. They'll cloud your judgment. What we need to do now is forge our path forward so that it doesn’t happen again. Instead of saying, ‘I am to blame for this,’ instead say, ‘I will make sure this doesn’t happen again.’ You are not to blame, got it?”
"Yeah, I got it," she muttered quietly.
It wasn't convincing, but I'd take it. I was more worried about this next topic. "And what about… the Celestial Enchantress stuff?"
Ferrisdae seemed to shrink into herself. "You don't want to hear about that," she whispered.
"No, I wish that it never happened," I said. "But it did, and you've had a hell of a day with ups, downs, and a lot of pretending. I'm not going to force you to talk about it if you don't want to, but I am genuinely concerned."
Ferrisdae closed her eyes. Silence followed, and I kept braiding. She would either tell me or she wouldn't. I didn't have to wait long.
"I don't feel like myself," she said, her voice strained.
I nodded. "From what I understand, a sorceress has a deep connection with the magic inside them. It's that right?"
"I always imagined it like another me, like how I wanted a sister growing up." Ferrisdae sniffed loudly. "Because that's what it feels like. It feels like another person, a whole other being. When I want to cast spells, I just have to ask and they'll support me no matter what I have to do, so long as they have the energy."
"But now it's like they're gone and replaced by someone else?" I asked.
"No, it's worse than that," Ferrisdae said, choking back a sob. "I know it's the same person, but it's like they grew without me. I stayed by myself, but they went out and explored the world. I offered to cast Clean for you today, but aside from looking at the flow of magic I haven't tapped into the well to cast anything at all since it happened."
I continued to braid, not saying anything, and she continued. "It already feels foreign just sitting there, I don't feel close to it anymore. What if I ask it for magic and it refuses?" Ferrisdae tried to lower her head, but I stopped her. "This probably doesn't mean anything to you, it probably sounds stupid."
"I don't think it's possible for you to be stupid, Ferrisdae," I chided gently. "And you are explaining it well. I…" Know exactly what you're talking about.
Ferrisdae sniffed again. "Badger?" She asked as I slipped behind her.
"I knew a paladin," I started, speaking slowly. "He was a paladin of justice, of Tegril. Had been for many years, and used those powers to defend his people. He did so with the god's blessings, and his adoration for the justice Tegril stood for knew no bounds. The long and short of it is that he protected his people until they no longer needed his protection. But then he had another problem, Tegril wanted him to go around the world as an emissary of justice, a high honor, but he wouldn't leave his home."
Ferrisdae still sniffed every few seconds, but I could tell I had her rapt attention. "Tegril was fine with this, of course. He’s a just god, and only pushed when necessary. No, the problem was that the paladin fell in love. It was a problem because he never thought this could be an outcome, and gave a vow of chastity when he entered Tegril's service. He broke away from the church to be with his love."
I took a deep breath, glad that Ferrisdae couldn't see the emotion on my face. "He said that losing that connection was one of the hardest things in his life. That the warmth of divinity had been with him for so long that the empty chasm where it had been in his soul was crushing."
I finally made it back around, and I could see the tears running down her face. "So I understand what you mean when you say it's different, Ferry, I know that it's difficult. It may not be the same, but I know enough to empathize," I said. "But just like… he had a big change, he had people to rely on. You do, too. If you don't want to or can't cast spells for a while, that's fine. I'll be there for you. Or Moose will, or Cojisto, I guess. But you're still going to be Ferrisdae, even if it feels like you're not."
Ferrisdae sat still as she stared off into the tent's walls. It took her a long moment before she spoke again. “Badger?”
“Yes,” I said. “I am Badger.” Using her hair, I dabbed at her tears and resumed braiding. I sped up here, braiding her hair across her hairline and merging it with the loosened braids I had started with.
“Did you just call me Ferry?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ferrisdae,” I told her. “I’m just trying to make my apprentice feel better. Not doing a very good job, probably, because I'm bad at these feelings things, but I am trying.”
Ferrisdae reached out and wrapped her arms around me. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“It’s not your fault,” I said again, awkwardly patting her on the head. “The only thing you're guilty of is being a bratty teenager who annoys me. Don't worry, I can deal with that. Instead, worry about how badly I’ll mess up your hair if you keep hugging me-EH.” Ferrisdae squeezed me tightly for a moment before letting go, and I braided the rest of her hair in silence.