"He really does sleep like a rock, doesn't he?"

"It's so out of character, right!? I mean, he's so vigilant and acts so worldly and then he's like this in the mornings!"

"I could just sling him over my shoulder and throw him on Moose."

I rolled over in the bed, grumbling through my mind's morning fog, and put the lumpy pillow over my head. My sleep had been fleeting and sporadic. With the terrible mattress, the carousing of the drunks outside, and the hundreds of thoughts flowing through my head, it was a miracle I slept at all.

"That probably isn't a good idea, Coji, but I love the enthusiasm."

"I'm awake," I claimed, my voice doing little to be convincing other than existing.

I felt someone sit on my bed, and I moved the pillow. Cojisto sat down, offering me a bowl. Peeking inside, it looked like oatmeal.

Slowly, I worked to sit up. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and took the bowl. It smelled bland, but after dinner last night I wasn't surprised. "Off my bed," I told Cojisto, and the man stood up.

"I already spoke to Gar, and I picked up your hammer pick weapon," Ferrisdae said from my side.

"Horseman’s pick," I corrected, swallowing my first bite. I made a face. Oakley was not a great cook, and I wondered if he knew what spices were. "It's used primarily by cavalry to pull opposing riders off of their horses by piercing the armor and flesh. The hammer side is for when you don't want to lose your weapon in the process."

"I picked up your horseman's pick, then," Ferrisdae corrected, giving me sass. "I also told him that we got a shield for you, so we paid him in coins. He was disappointed that we may be leaving before dealing with the chicken…"

"And he's not the only one," Cojisto lamented.

"... but he understands," Ferrisdae finished. "Wishes us the best of luck out there."

"Gar seems like a decent fellow," I said. "How long have you been up? You always seem to have gotten things done by the time you've tried waking me up."

"About three hours now. I'm a naturally early riser," Ferrisdae said. "And watching the stars fade away as the sun rises helps quell the rampant magical energies in my soul."

"Wow," Cojisto said. "I had no idea that sorcerers and sorceresses had problems like that. Magic sure is something."

"Oh, it's something, alright," I said, shaking my head. "Don't you trick Cojisto like that."

"Sorry, Cojisto," Ferrisdae said with a grin. She did not sound sorry. "No, it's just something I like to do in the morning. It grounds me. Sets me up for success."

Cojisto nodded in understanding. "I have morning rituals, too. Moose helps."

Despite the taste, the oatmeal disappeared quickly. Now that I was awake I wanted to get moving as quickly as possible. I removed the thick wool blanket, the only part of the accommodations that was halfway decent, and swung my legs over the side to jump down.

“What, do you two do moose calls at the rising sun?” I asked sarcastically.

“No, but maybe we should start,” Cojisto said, considering it. I hated that he was considering it. “Perhaps we should change it to making moose calls at the stars, that way we can have a ritual of messing with Ferry.”

“What? Don’t you dare!” Ferrisdae protested, punching Cojisto on the arm.

An action that made him look at Ferrisdae like she was crazy. “Ferry, what in the world was that?" he asked incredulously.

Ferrisdae’s eyes went wide at Cojisto's tone. "A… punch?" She responded meekly. I narrowed my eyes at Cojisto. My apprentice did not need any trouble right now.

"That was a punch? Ferrisdae, don't kid about such things," Cojisto said. My apprentice's expression went from meek to confused. "Who taught you how to throw a punch?"

Ferrisdae looked down at me. "Badger did?" Cojisto yelled, obviously scandalized. He put his hands on his hips and locked eyes with me. "I thought you of all people would be able to throw a proper punch. What are you teaching Ferry, eh?"

"Cojisto, what the hell?" I asked, scowling and rubbing my temples. It was way too early for this.

"No one taught me how to throw a punch, Cojisto," Ferrisdae said. "I've never had a need for it, I can cast magic."

"Never needed to learn to punch?" Cojisto asked, putting his hands on his head.

"Stop being so daft," I said, crossing my arms.

Cojisto ignored me and held out his hand. "Ferry, hold out a fist like you were going to punch me."

Slowly, Ferrisdae did as she was told. I immediately picked up on what Cojisto was going on about. He took her fist in both hands. "No, no," he said as he gently pulled her fingers apart. "Thumb on the inside? You're going to break about every bone in your hand that way."

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

"I'm not planning on punching anyone, Cojisto," Ferrisdae said. She didn't pull her hand away, though, even as it was manhandled.

"You never know!" Cojisto said perhaps a little too loudly. "The monks at the monastery I went to before realizing I wasn't cut out for it always said, 'the first step to harmony is knowing one's body. Peace with the mind and soul come naturally after that.' Or something, I wasn't paying a lot of attention. But Badger, back me up?"

"Are you trying to say that knowing your body will allow you to harmonize the physical, mental, and spiritual?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. He was apparently done flexing Ferrisdae’s fingers, because he let go to start throwing punches at the air. "Okay, so with your fist like that, throw a punch and really put your body into it, like this. Oh, don't forget to plant your feet. Punching requires a solid base."

Ferrisdae watched Cojisto’s slow motion punch and took a similar stance, trying to mimic him. "Like… like this?" she asked, getting close but not quite there.

"Almost, twist your hips more, really put some oomph in it. No, not that much, you don't want to throw yourself off balance. Yeah, that's better. And move your shoulders like this."

As I watched this man-child teach Ferrisdae how to throw a punch, I frowned. Not because of the activity, that was practical knowledge that everybody could use, but because I didn't expect the guy trying to wrestle a giant chicken to have this level of emotional awareness.

Exercise was good for the mind. He was going about it in a really roundabout way, but it could help Ferrisdae find the balance she always effortlessly had before. He had also picked up on something back during our meeting outside the gate, too.

But I didn't want to think about that. Something else popped into my head. "Your morning ritual is just exercise, isn’t it?"

Cojisto stopped punching the air to give me a thumbs up. "You got it, Badger. Exercise with Moose, then a dip to clean off. Nothing quite beats it so early," he claimed.

"Ferrisdae, maybe you should join Cojisto and Moose," I said, looking towards her. She was holding her body at a weird angle, like she was still mid-punch. "It may do you some good."

"Oh, umm, I guess I could give it a try," Ferrisdae said. She stood up straight and looked at Cojisto. "If that's okay?"

"Of course it is!" Cojisto exclaimed. "The more the merrier, and we can teach you proper form and everything. Badger, would you like to join, too?"

"I have my own morning rituals, so I'll decline your generous offer," I lied. Cojisto was about to call me out on it when I continued. "But I would like to hear more about how you wear yourself out the morning you're supposed to go to a dungeon. Please, tell me about that."

Cojisto stared down at me for a few moments before giving me two thumbs up. "You have your own rituals. I hear you, Badger," he said. Then he started backing away from us. "I'm going to go and get Moose and we'll meet you two by the gate, yes? Yes. Okay! See you soon."

We watched Cojisto leave, and I sighed. "Must be nice, being carefree and dumb," I muttered. The Human had left the bag of gear next to his bed. I grabbed it.

"I don't think he's that bad," Ferrisdae said. She started heading towards the door, hand still held in a fist, and I followed. "He has his heart in the right place, and doesn't dwell on things he can't change. Cojisto’s like a big, muscular puppy. I kind of envy his attitude towards life."

"They do say ignorance is bliss," I told Ferrisdae. "I can't see that, but I won't burst your bubble."

******

Ferrisdae and I waited by the gate in awkward silence. Even young Jesuf felt the strange atmosphere, barely saying anything after his initial greeting. Now he just looked at us when he thought we weren't paying attention. I wasn't quite sure what to say after last night, so I just waited.

"Look at who we found!"

We turned to see Cojisto and Moose heading our way with Felder Rockcrusher in tow. The stocky Dwarf was wearing plainclothes today, not the heavy cloth he would in the mines to protect his skin. He also had a few gems tied into his beard that weren't there before.

"G'morning, inspectors," Felder called, raising a hand in greeting as they approached. He carried a thick, rolled up scroll with him in his other hand. "Are you all ready to head to the mine?"

"We are," I confirmed. "Please, lead the way to the mine."

"Right to it, then? Come along," Felder said and led the way.

We left the camp and followed the well traveled road eastward. It was a beautiful day out. The sun was out in full force, its heat contrasting nicely against the cool breeze. Not a single cloud marred the sky. Behind us, Moose croaked.

"Yes, I'll ask," Cojisto said. "Badger and Ferry, Moose suggests that we ask Felder here about any more information on the enemies."

Felder slowed down to give Cojisto a strange look. "Please don't ask about Moose," I told him. "You'll get Cojisto started and that's not somewhere any of us want to go."

"It's where I want to go," Cojisto said. "I can and would talk at length about the majesty of Moose and other moose."

Sighing, I shook my head. Moose did bring up a good topic, though. “Do you know how many denizens there are in there?” I asked Felder.

“Denizens?” Felder asked, sounding confused. He shook his head before I had a chance to explain it. “Right, right, I know what that means. Sorry. But there should be somewhere between seven and fifteen of them. We aren’t really fighters, and it was a miracle that we made it through with only being injured.”

Ferrisdae and I looked at each other. That wasn’t what I was expecting, and I could tell that she was thinking the same. “By we, do you mean the miners?” I asked. “Did the miners clear this out instead of some adventuring party?”

“Mostly miners,” Felder said with a nod. “Me and a few of the boys tried our hands at adventuring in our youth, so we picked up some weapons and armor and trudged through. Mizzorie did most of the work, though."

"Mizzorie?" I asked. The name was familiar, I had heard it before. Or seen it.

Ferrisdae remembered first. "Isn't that Mr. Carr's maid?" she asked. She was right. My original map had her listed as the only other person in the nobleman's house. Maid Mizzorie, it had said.

"That's right," Felder said with a nod. "She used to be an adventurer in her youth. A damn good fighter, from what I hear. She's sworn herself to the Carr family for reasons I'm not entirely clear on, but she did most of the work while we took on the rabble."

"Perhaps we should head back and ask her what she remembers, Badger?" Ferrisdae asked, looking down at me. "It would take less than an hour, and we can get a better picture."

I thought about it. On one hand, more information was always good. That made everything safer, and with a loose cannon and his healing animal friend tagging along, safer was something I wanted.

On the other hand, we were already on the road. Cojisto and Moose had already fought other pseudo-dungeons and came out fine. What had Himia said? That this first one would be easy? Really, I just wanted to get this over with. Spending a day in this place was already too much.

"She doesn't generally like to be seen by people," Felder said. "But I'm sure she'd make an exception for you two, inspector."

“No,” I said definitively after giving it some thought. “At this point, it would likely just be a waste of time and I don’t want to make this take longer than it needs to.”

“Ah, well, suit yourself, then,” Felder said as he continued leading us to the mine.