(Authors Notes)
WARNING:
The following contains yet another not well flesh out emotional, and dramatical, conversation that you many or you may not like and a possibly controversial topic.
Viewer Discretion is advised
(End of Author Notes)
*SNORE*
....
*SNORE*
Okay that is starting to get on my nerves, my parents are lucky that unlike most babies I am considerate about them. If not, I would be crying myself off out of sheer annoyance.
I just got to ignore this an go back to sleep.
..
...
Okay. That did no-
Help...
I'm so tired.
I guess I'll have to get used to sleeping during the day.
..
...
Days then weeks, passed until eventually...
....
.....
......
......
Hey. Wake up.
HEY. I'm talking to you.
Hmm?... What?
I have been thinking...
(?)
I know I said I would trust you an all, but was killing that snake was Really necessary?
Yo-you... You do realize that snake tried to kill me right?
Yes. Yes I do. I talked to it, and it's intentions weren't exactly to give you hugs and kisses...
But-
No buts, I know were you are going with this and I'll just tell this:
You can't save them all.
Who's to say that snake wouldn't have target me later if I spared it, or maybe it would attack another child. Heck what about other animals? Snake's are carnivorous creatures, they aren't peace loving herbivores.
Do you get what I'm trying to say?
I do. I really do. I have seen this happens from both sides going both ways.
Is that so?
Yes.
Then what's the big deal?
...
It had a family-
So did I...
Would you have preferred if it ate me?
Ignoring me and my selfish feelings, what about my family's feelings. How do you think my mom or dad would have felt if their new born son died the one day they aren't watching over it?
...
Answer me.
They... Th-They would have been heart-broken...
And they would have also blamed themselves forever about it. Just like I did for the young man in my story, they would have felt powerless and guilty about my death.
...
Look. I'm not trying to justify what I did.
I don't need an excuse for what happened back there.
If you want me to admit I killed a sentient life form with feelings, a family, and heck maybe a likeable personality. Then...
Yes I do, I do admit to having kille-...
No. I admit to having murdered in cold blood that poor snake.
You are right, I could have just crawled away, cry for attention and end up securing my safety. While in the process showing mercy to that snake and maybe give it a chance to turn it's life around to focused on what matters the most to it.
... Look, I'm not trying to make look like the bad guy. Okay.
I know... but as an example let ask you:
What does it take for a young man fresh of school to go to one of history's most largest, cruelest, inhuman wars and escape relatively unharmed with no apparent mental issues?
...
You should know were this is going.
Remember when I told I went to war, didn't you ever wonder how I came back out still a working-capable man.
You don't mean?
Ah-Ah AH, let me stop you there before you say something that may put strain in our friendship.
Just to clarify.
I am not a cold-hearted killer. I don't enjoy killing, and I will probably never do. Also, just so that you don't go around making assumptions, I didn't desert or anything, I served my duty and fought alongside my brothers-in-arms.
I was just a young man...
No.
I was a child, just like everyone else. I had heard and seen the propaganda demonizing the other side, just like they too probably did.
I was scared...
...
Just. Like. Everyone. Else.
...
Does it make me a psychopath for killi-
Excuse me...
For purposely murdering other young men, such as myself, without having a valid reason to do so. When I could have just aim my rifle slightly to the side and missed my shot as they were retreading.
Heck, I could have refused to have shot my riffle in the first place, they were retreating.
But what then? This is war. They will be back, and next time things might not be so simple.
When I first killed a man...
It was out of fear...
I was just taking a bathroom break, when suddenly out of nowhere enemy soldiers came running at us and yelling at the top of their longs to us while pointing at us with their guns. We were caught of guard, a fatal mistake, if not the last one.
I was paralyzed, I couldn't react in time and before I knew it all hell broke loose.
Ear shattering gun fire, that still be heard for miles away, echoed powerfully around.
I stop doing what I was doing before, went and picked up my rifle...
And before I could do anything a man came sneak behind me and shouted something...
...
I just turned around...
A-And I... I stab him with my bayonet...
I had somehow managed to potentially kill him in a single jab. But then...
The.. The look he gave me...
When he realized that his life was being taken away so suddenly from him, that he was leaving everyone he cared about behind without saying goodbye. That he wasn't even ready to die, that he didn't even get the chance to they tell his family that he loved them. There was nothing he could do about it...
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Then, gradually, I saw it... The life fading out of his eyes. Tears swelling out of them, as he slowly slid away from my bayonet...
Only to finally dropped dead.
I... I was so... Overwhelmed...
I forgot I was in the middle of a battlefield, and just felt so sick, so disgusted...
I couldn't hold back anymore... and I puked...
I puked all over the ground, and although tears couldn't be seen in my eyes... I was still deeply troubled by what I saw.
By what I did.
My hands were sweating, my feet were trembling, my stomach was rumbling, my consciousness was crying, and I was so...
Scared.
I for the first time had done something of this... Magnitude.
What I did that day, and the following years after, has haunted me even to this day.
.....
I'm s-sorry...
... So am I...
I'm sorry, for the snake I killed.
I'm sorry the men I killed.
I'm sorry to the fathers, mothers, siblings, wives, and children of those I put through suffering.
...
So let's take a moment of silence...
For the snake... and everyone else....
...
....
.....
......
Alright. That should be enough for now.
So...
I ask you...
Are you angry that you are friends with a murderer? Are you disgusted to be associated with someone such as me?
...
N-No... I... I was just a bit...
I... I don't know... Upset?... Thinking back... I don't know what I was trying to prove...
I glad to be friends with you, and I'm not disgusted to be associated with you.
I too am glad to be friends with you...
...
I'll tell you what I think happened.
...???
I believe that you generally don't try to get yourself involve with anyone, that you try to be as separate of everything as possible.
Aside me, that snake was possibly one of the few people you ever talked to...
And later you found out more... About him or her... about its personality, and about its family.
...
I don't mean to break your bubble, but... this happens all the time... You better than me should know...
...I do...
Out there, is sure, there people who go on massive genocide missions... Killing many things, like they were nothing.
Like adventures or heroes, going on
Why?...
Well, sometimes it's for money, at times for security or many precaution. Yet at times their isn't a reason and just simply happened.
I... I understand.
Me too...
But unfortunately we live in a world while actions like this will be necessary...
I will probably might still take such a type of mission or action.
I will kill many things that don't deserve to die...
I will feel regret within my heart and mind.
I will feel guilt in my thoughts and dreams.
...
But I will have to continue to do this sort of thing.
Their is no such thing as "good" or "evil", and neither is such as thing like "right" or "wrong". We and by that I mean all living things, even plants, are just trying to live. To survive.
Their is no white knight, who knows only justice, who shows compassion for all, that only acts in the most righteous ways.
We are all just trying to survive, it's a jungle out there...
...
...
But wait up...
(?!)
That doesn't mean you should give up on your dreams.
That doesn't mean you should just accept this cruel reality.
That doesn't mean you are wrong about your ideals.
If you truly wish, to change the world....
Then... No matter how hard it may seem... Don't stop... Keep going...
It's possible...
My world may not be perfect, It's not a bastion of justice, or fairness...
But it has shown...
NO... Proven that it is possible to change the world, and its people.
To unite every race, every country, every gender, and every being together in mutual peace.
Will it be Easy?
NO... It will be the hardest thing that has yet to happen... It may seem many times like it's impossible, but don't give up...
Be patient.
You like many other people have a dream...
Make your dreams come true... Just Do it...
Start small, give hope to others, teach them to be kind and forgiving... If possible.
...
Don't let this grumpy old man tell you the world and it's inhabitants are nothing but vicious monsters.
Ha-HA ha... and neither should you let him bring you down...
I think we are both hurt and should take a little bit of time to calm down.
But before that let me just remind you... That I'm here for YOU... My friend.
I'm here for you too.
*sniff*
Th-Thank You...
...
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(Authors Notes)
Yet again, I apologize for forcing this kind of emotional and over-dramatical moments down your throats. I didn't script any of this... I just wrote it off of what I believe the protagonist truly feels and is like.
This was just suppose to be just another cookie-cutter RPG reincarnation story. A dull adventure. Not this.
Even now I am unsure if I should keep this chapter or scrap it for a less serious and more on the topic chapter. I'll see what you guys think about it in the comments below.
I'll try to post a poll. Never done that. Wish me luck.
Also, Sorry that this chapter is shorter than the usual, but I'm too tired right now. I gotta go rest.
(End of Author Notes)