For days this continued. I went to the pool, I walked, and I fell asleep before I got back to my room. Sometimes I was awake in the room. Sometimes I was asleep. I wasn’t allowed to see Dan. Sometimes I pleaded with Lok to let me see him, but Lok just shook his head. Lok grew less talkative, and I started talking to myself. I would argue with myself about leaving the village, or if it was right to kill the king. That was the most entertaining one.

“The king is the head of our government.”

“Well, yes, but he is a corrupt head of the city government.”

“What would you prefer to run the city?”

“The people?”

“Hah, the people. The people would run amok and destroy the city. The people could care less about governing the city.”

“What about the village? It was ruled by a council of the people.”

“So six people, elected by the people of each district, to run the city in a council where the people could still make statements.”

“Well, yes, that would work... That was the idea…”

“Wouldn’t those people become corrupt? Couldn’t they take bribes, start the spies again? Wouldn’t only the rich be elected?”

“No! Anyone can run. Anyone can stand up and say I want to run.”

“So this makes it right to kill the king?”

“Yes! No… I don’t know, I guess. The king has to go. He is a terrible person who had my father killed.”

“So this is all for revenge? You want to destroy the structure and coordination of the entire city to get your petty revenge on a king who may or may not be the king who ordered your father’s death, and probably doesn’t even remember you or him? And isn’t death a quick method of revenge? Wouldn’t you prefer to lock him up, humiliate him, and make him dishonored like he did to you?”

“This isn’t for petty reasons! This is to help the city!”

“Are you certain about that…?”

The door creaked open and I immediately shut up. They probably knew I was going crazy, but I preferred to pretend to sanity when around Lok or other pale people. That was what I thought of them as. The pale people. They were like ghosts flitting by in an uncanny and quiet world. It was a ghost world only populated by these ghosts.

And my exercise continued. Eventually I could walk well enough in the water, so I progressed to two parallel bars out of the water on land. I regained my strength faster than I thought I would. And then the routine changed again.

“Stand up, it’s time for your first swimming lesson. I finally found someone who would agree to teach you.” I had come to hate his robotic monotone voice. Sometimes I wished I could just punch him or hit him!

“Oh, you found someone who would put up with your troublesome rebellious pet? Is that it? So you can offload me on someone else? Oh yes, please, watch my pet so I can go do whatever it is I do in my spare time.” I could almost hear his teeth grinding and I felt satisfaction in getting a reaction from him.

“You are not my pet. Pets are better behaved and do as their owners tell them. Pets can’t talk back.”

“Oh, so do you kill disobedient pets?” I wanted him to get mad at me. It was my daily entertainment to see how angry I could make him.

“No. I don’t have any pets. Now stand up. You are walking to the pool.” His voice stayed controlled. Too bad. I still hadn’t gotten him to raise his voice at me.

I pushed myself out of the bed and grabbed onto his shoulder. I hated him for making me walk. “So are you trying to torture me by making me walk there? The route I remember the chair taking was quite long and I am not sure if I am up to that yet…”

“We are taking the walking route which is much shorter. And you are up to this. In fact, we will begin stairs tomorrow.” Grrr. That voice.

Step by step we walked, and I was pleasantly surprised by how well I was doing. My legs were shaky, but not collapsing which was much better than I expected.

“See, you will be well soon. Swimming will help speed this process up.”

We walked up to a wall with a panel and a button on it. He pressed this button and it lit up orange. I heard a small, pleasant beep, and then the wall split in two revealing a small gray room lined with wooden things sticking out of the wall with straps hanging down above them. “What is this place?”

“It is a mover. It is how we get around the Wall efficiently and quickly. I suggest strapping into a chair.”

I guess the wooden things were chairs. Lok took me to one of the chairs and gently helped lower me toward the chair. He pulled each arm through a strap on either side of me and somehow clicked the two straps together across me. He sat down and quickly strapped himself in.

Something cackled, and a robotic female voice came out of nowhere, “Where to?”

“To therapy pool,” Lok replied to the voice.

And then the bottom dropped out from under me and the floor fell away. Or at least that was what it felt like till we came to a screeching halt. Then the room lurched to the side and we were whizzed off in that direction. Then it came to another screeching halt and whizzed off in a different direction. I was feeling slightly sick when it came to a halt and stayed still. “A… A mover…” I whispered. I was too in shock to speak any louder. I was not sure what I had been expecting, but it was not what I had just experienced.

“Yes Elizabeth, that was a mover.” He was already unstrapped and on his way over to unstrap me. How did he get out of this thing so quickly? Why did he not look slightly green like I felt?

And then he had me unstrapped and was helping me stand up. “Can I never go on that again? I think I might be sick.”

“You will be fine. You will get used to it. You will be swimming every day.” He led me out into the swimming room where there was a tall woman waiting there whose white hair was cut quite short in a boyish look. Most of it seemed to be shaved quite close with a chunk left for bangs that was swept to the right side of her face toward her ear.

The woman looked me over. “For swimming you will continue to wear the clothing you are currently wearing, and change into dry clothing at your room. You will meet me here every day at 10 sharp. Lok, you brought her five minutes late. Be faster next time. You will follow all of my rules without complaint. For these thirty minutes, you belong to me.”

Oh great. She sounded terrible. I looked at the water feeling a strong dislike for it. It was the beginning of my problems in this place.

“Get in! Stop dallying! My time is precious, City Girl.” She pointed to the stairs, and I looked over at the ramp my chair had used.

“Walk down those stairs, Girl!” She barked at me.

I flinched at her harsh words, grabbed the railing of the stairs that led toward torture, and slowly walked down the stairs taking each step slowly and carefully, feeling the silky softness of the water creep up my legs entangling them it its grip. Why was she doing this to me? Why were they forcing me to get better, and why wasn’t I allowed to see Dan?

“Hold the ledge there, and then let your legs float straight out. We will begin with learning how to kick. If you can kick you can at least sort of swim. This will also strengthen your legs. I followed with my eyes to where she was pointing, and saw she meant the edge not too far from the stairs. I slowly pushed my way through the troublesome water till I reached the ledge.

When I finished the lesson felt wobbly and unstable. I gripped the railing of the stairs with a death grip and used it to help me get up the stairs of the pool. When I released the railing, I let myself collapse.

The ground in front of me turned a shade darker, and I looked up to see Lok scowling at me. “Get up. Don’t you have more strength of will than this? Didn’t you survive being Dishonored? They kill people who can’t stand up.”

I glared at him and pushed myself up, gripping the railing for support.

“You’re a weakling. Can’t believe we are spending so much time on a weakling.” His voice was that same level, inflectionless monotone.

I ground my teeth, “Don’t. Don’t say whatever you are thinking. I will walk. All the way back. By myself.” I forced myself to stand up straight, to release the railing, my crutch. I locked my knees, and stepped, and locked my knees. I could do this. My muscles were just tired, but I was walking on my own in therapy. I didn’t need anyone’s help.

He stared at me blandly and waited as I slowly made my way to the mover. He called it, and when we got in, I waved him away and buckled myself in. I was strong. I could do this all myself. He wouldn’t touch me.

The mover jerked us around and then came to a grinding halt, opening up the doors for us. I unbuckled myself. I stood up feeling pain lance through my thighs and calves, but gritted my teeth. I had to be strong if I was going to go back into the city. I had become pathetic and soft. How had I let that happen to myself? How had I become so complacent and dependent on others?

I collapsed into my bed. And what had Lok said that brought me to my senses? He was gone, out of the room. I suddenly realized I had given up. I’d been going through the motions of being healed feeling no purpose. I hadn’t really cared. I was lazy and complacent to simply sleep. I had allowed a crazy lady to scare me. I’d become… submissive. A good little dishonored who didn’t glare at her superiors for giving orders. Just another dishonored too tired with life to try and fight.

That was it! I’d become tired. I’d become sluggish and my thoughts had become sluggish. I had a new clarity. I could do this. I could survive beating, and this was nowhere near as painful as those. This was all in my brain.

I slid out of bed, and collapsed with a moan as pain shot through my legs. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t simply will myself to get better. I was wrong. They were wrong.

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I shook my head. No! I wouldn’t give in. I was a fighter!

I grabbed the bed and used it to pull me up. I would do my own extra workouts. Dan would be proud of me. I would get better. Step by step I crossed the room, and the back. I sat on the bed for a short time, a break to relieve my tired body, and then I forced myself to do it again. I could feel every tired, straining, begging muscle pleading with me to give into my desires and relieve them of the pain, but I couldn’t! I had to do this.

A week later, after I put on some soft cream colored wool sweats, Lok led me to a long dark hallway, but the darkness didn’t seem that bad anymore. I could see easily enough in the darkness now. Strangely, I had never gotten to that state the first time I was here.

Now… Now I knew nothing but the strange artificial lights that hurt my eyes, and the darkness. I preferred the darkness.

“I want you to try running. You are progressing remarkably fast now, and it is time for you to start running. Run to the end of the hall, and then come back at either a walk or a run, whichever feels best for you.”

I nodded. I would run. Pushing myself was the best way to recover. I hunched down, and then pushed off with my toe feeling myself flying along the ground barely touching it. I was free from the chains that bound me, and then my foot caught against something just as my other leg got hit, and I sprawled forward, hitting the ground hard, my breathing ragged, hard, and fast. I looked back down the hallway, wondering what tripped me, when suddenly I realized, I caught my foot against my own leg. I could feel my cheeks burning hot.

“Go slower next time. You are not ready to be trying to push yourself yet. You don’t have the coordination nor the stamina.”

I nodded. I wanted to feel free again, but already I could feel my muscles were tired as I pushed myself up into a standing position.

Again, this time much slower, I pushed myself forward. There was no suspension time in the air. It was the simple act of pushing myself forward with one foot then the other. The motions of slow jogging, and even then my breaths were raspy and uneven by the end of the hall. I turned around, and pushed forward, all the way back to Lok before letting myself collapse against the wall.

My breath dragged against my throat and burned deep in my lungs. I fought my lungs for control, but they just kept gasping.

“Deep breaths. Breathe in, breather out,” I could hear the steady deep drone of his voice, and waved him away. I had this. Breathe in… pant two breaths, breath out… pant two breaths, breathe in… pant once, breathe out. I had this! I could control my breathing!

I turned around and threw my arms around Lok, “I ran Lok! I ran today!”

“Yes. You ran. You still have much to improve on.” He pushed me away and I released him. He was such a doldrum.

“Where’s Dan? Does this mean I can go into the city soon.” Being able to run… I was so much closer to leaving this place!

“Soon.” Was all he said. Soon was such a relative term. It could mean anything from now till a month in the future or more.

“Soon? So when will I be able to leave! When will I be able to see Dan again?” I could feel myself bouncing on the balls of my toes, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to leave. I wanted to see Dan again. I- I missed him.

Lok stared at me, silently evaluating and judging me. “You will see Dan soon, within an hour, and you will leave soon, within a month or two, maybe even more.”

“Really! Another freaking month here! Why!” I stomped my foot, unable to let my frustration out any other way.

He waited a second, as if waiting for me to say more, “It is the time you need to get back into shape. It is not safe for you to go into the city without being able to at least run, and maybe somewhat fight. Also the elders have a plan they would like to propose to you. They believe you to be an instrument of change. Why they would see some bratty exiled as such, I don’t know. It is their decision. And they will speak to you now, so you are to follow me.”

“I’m not-”

“I don’t care what you are or are not. Follow me.” He turned and started walking.

“But I’m not dressed nice enough to meet them!” He just kept walking.

I followed because I had no other choice. I opened my mouth to give a retort, but couldn’t exactly think of what to say. I chewed the words over in my head, “I am not a bratty exiled. I was exiled, but I came back because I found the outside. Therefore by the rules I am technically honored now.”

I didn’t feel honored, but that was the caste I would be given by the city’s own definition of honor and caste laws. He didn’t respond. “Did you hear me?”

He didn’t even slow down. I guess he turned off his ability to hear or something. “Hey, Lok, my muscles are really sore, can we break for a second.”

I hopped a couple times as my left calf seized up in a cramp, but he didn’t slow down, and I hobbled forward to keep up with him. He came to a sudden halt and pressed a panel on the wall. A door opened up to a mover room.

I followed him on without comment and strapped myself in. He punched in a button, and we were off at unsettling speeds. “Magnets control these and move them, but of course, you have no clue what those are.”

I just shrugged if he was going to give me the silent treatment I would return it in response. This was the longest I’d ever been on a mover, and it was starting to feel slightly less disconcerting.

I couldn’t stand the silence any longer, “Where are we going? I’ve never been on a mover this long before.”

“You have been, but you were in a coma at the time. We are going to the other side of the wall. It’s about a thirty minute journey by high speed mover. It’s time for you to meet the elder’s council.”

“What happens if I don’t want to fulfill their request? What will they do to me?” I crossed my arms across my chest. I didn’t like being given zero options.

“You’ll prove you are a brat, and you will be released into the city to be killed by your own people.” So I didn’t have any other options in reality. The whole requesting me to do it was all for show. Well that was good to know. I leaned my head back and let myself fall asleep.

I was jolted awake by the being thrown forward as the mover slammed to a stop throwing me against the straps pulling my breath from my lungs. Leaving me gasping.

“I hate this thing. I hate this thing. Did I mention I really hate this mover thing?” I gasped out as soon as I could speak. This was a really terrible way to be woken.

Lok stared at me for a second, not moving then unbuckled. “You get used to it; though you probably never will get used to it.”

“Why would I never get used to it? Do you think I am somehow less than you?” He was always putting me down! Making me seem like some sort of weak inferior being.

He shook his head. “No, you are leaving in a month. You have no need to get used to it because you will probably never come back in the Wall once you leave it.

I looked down at my feet and shuffled a little. My feet were clothed in the soft slippers I wore all the time in this place. Fuzzy undyed wool slippers created simply to keep the feet warm on the cold floors of the Wall.

“You really must learn to think before you speak Elizabeth. You must use the discretion that both your father and the prison guards tried to teach you instead of the outspoken nature you have fallen back toward since leaving for the outside.” Of course Lok was right. He was always right. He always made me feel like such an idiot.

I nodded. I understood. I wouldn’t speak. I would keep my thoughts to myself.

“When you meet the elders in a few moments, you will watch your mouth. The elders do not like others stepping on their words.”

A door opened nearby, and a short woman with a red bun walked out. Her skin was pale, but her hair… it wasn’t white and her eyes weren’t red! Straight red hair fell to her shoulders and dark green eyes stared at me from under red bangs.

“Come in, Elizabeth. “

I looked at Lok and he nodded, “I will be waiting for you here. Anne will dress you for meeting the council.”

At least I didn’t have to meet them dressed in sweats. I hobbled over to the door Anne was holding open, my calves still protesting the exercise, and walked into a small room with a door at the other end.

“This is the dressing room, in case people come to see the council not dressed appropriately.” Her voice sounded like any other person in the Wall. I took the black wad of fabric she was holding out to me, and shook out a simple black dress.

“Are you one of the people born in the Wall? I’ve never seen anyone born in the Wall with anything except that colorless white hair.” She shook her head, and I could remember Fire shaking out her mane of red hair. Anne’s hair was the same color as Fire’s…

“I’m not of the Wall, I was born to two executed criminals, and was thrown out with the trash, but I was somehow alive. The people of the Wall have raised me and cared for me as their own. The people of the Wall are much kinder than the crazy people who live in the Wall.”

I nodded in agreement. They were kinder in their strange way, but I missed the open sky. The blue of the heavens with the fluffy white clouds floating by.

Dan thunking me on the side with his sword, “Liv! Pay attention.” He shouts.

“Dan, look up at the sky, it’s so…”

“It’s the sky Liv! You have to be able to fight if you don’t want to die like Fire!”

I scrubbed a tear away. I would never see the blue sky again. The sky would be the pink of a sunset forever caused by the way the light came through the dome.

“Hurry and change please.” I started, noticing I was still holding out the black dress. I quickly stripped off my comfy sweats and pulled on the black dress that went down to my ankles and hooked over my shoulders with rope straps. The material was light weight and swayed around me as I moved.

“Thank you. The council will see you shortly.” She held the door to the hall back open and I stepped back out into the hall.

“Lok, why aren’t you on the council. Aren’t you really old?”

“I was on the council. Once. A long time ago. When I started augmenting myself with computer and machine parts I was banned from the council for not being a full human anymore.”

I just nodded, understanding nothing of what he was saying. Sometimes it was like he was speaking a foreign language. Like what were computers?

He shook his head. “The council is not mean, but they do not tolerate fools or people that speak out of turn. They will spit you back out into the city if they choose to.”

A different door along the hall opened, and Anne was there holding a different door open. “The council will see you now, Elizabeth the Returned.”

The returned. It sounded like I had risen from the dead or something!

I shook my head keeping the thought to myself and walked in to find myself facing ten wrinkled faces staring down at me. Four had the softer faces of women, and six had the thick jaws and white facial hair of old men.

“Elizabeth, you claim to have returned from the outlands. Is this true?”

Was this true! Did they not see me come into the Wall after two years outside? Deep breath. I turned to look at the speaker, an old lady all the way to my left with a soft flabby face, and wrinkles from smile lines. A kind old lady just doing her job.

I nodded.

“We would like you to state for this assembly why you returned from the outlands after two years, and not immediately after finding life beyond the radiation zone.”

“I…” I didn’t realize this was to be an interrogation. I looked around at all their faces, but no one seemed upset. Carefully bland faces stared back at me, except for the speaker with a kind gentle smile on her face.

“Please, speak up. We just need to get this on record.” Her voice was deep and thick, sort of crackly, like leaves when you step on them in the forest…

“I stayed because I thought I would die if I crossed the radiation again. I stayed because… Well, I made friends. I thought… I don’t know. They gave me a job, a house, a six year old girl to look after. I had a responsibility to them as well as to the city, and I figured I would eventually come back… I never thought…” I never thought I would get a terrible disease that would almost kill me. All those small colds, the hacking coughs, the fevers, and it never occurred to me that one of the terrible before diseases would infect me, and quite possibly kill me.

“You never thought what?”

Why did they need to know all this information? I shrugged. “I never thought I would come back because of a disease the outside can’t kill. It’s one of the risks out there, the possibility of death.”

The old lady looked around the table, and all the heads nodded. A couple of the elders smiled down at me. “If you go back into the city, they will kill you, or at least try to. We are willing to keep you and your outlander friend here, though he seems disinclined to be held in the ever present darkness of this world. You on the other hand, have finally adjusted to our world. We see you walking, and the darkness does not blind you anymore. You have learned to embrace it.”

She stopped, as if pausing, but didn’t continue. It was as if she was offering me a choice, die in the city or stay in the wall. It was the same choice I was offered when I left the wall, stay in the wall or die outside it, but I had lived. “Is there a third option?”

She nodded, but the smile was gone. Her lips were pressed tightly together, and she looked at the other elders again, who nodded. “There is. It is… dangerous. You could die, though you might not.”

She stopped, staring at me, as if waiting. “What is this option?”

She took a deep breath, “We would support you overthrowing the government, resetting the way the city is governed, starting a revolution. We would help spread rumors, find you soldiers, and try and protect you from the king killing you. We were thinking of using him trying to execute you to make the citizens rebel. “

“What?”

She licked her lips. “We would send you in, and you would proclaim how you found land. The outlander would ride in next to you. The king would likely pick you up, and order you executed to silence you. We would spread the rumors about you, about where you’ve been, about how the king is trying to silence you, and the people would rise up. And of course, we would make sure you don’t die at the execution. You would have the outlander’s protection as you lead a revolution, killed the king, and rebuilt the government. Of course, you could die at any time during the revolution….”

“I… I don’t even know the first thing about running a government, or leading a revolution… I…”

She shrugged. “I thought as much. So, which option do you want to choose?”

“I didn’t mean…” I shook my head. The third option was really my only choice. Dan couldn’t stay in here, and I still wanted to live.

I bit my lip. I needed to speak clearly, “I want the third option, but I don’t know how to run a country, or how to lead a revolution… I’m not even that great a fighter. I’m okay with a bow, or I was before... Before… This.”

She stared at me, obvious shock showing on her wrinkled face. “You… you want to…”

She turned to her council members, and one of the old men, bald and wrinkled; spoke up in a deep rumbling voice, “Then we will train you. You will receive lessons on ancient governments, on revolutions, and how our strategists think this one should be run. And, you will train in fighting.”

A small thin man with tufts of hair on the side of his head motioned toward the other door, and in a high nasally voice, “Bring him in,” he squeaked.

The door opened, and there was a man standing there in full plate armor, complete with a helmet and visor. Was I training with this person? A small woman stepped up next to him, also in plate armor, but her helmet was off, and a short white bob framed her pale face.

The man was the one who drew my eye though. I felt as if I recognized him. I just… I couldn’t tell with his helmet on.

And then a fully plated man was running at me, and I couldn’t move, riveted down by shock. Metal arms wrapped around me squeezing me.

“Oh my Liv! You’re alive! They told me… It doesn’t matter now. You’re alive!” The only thing holding me up was his arms. If he released me I might just crumple to the floor.

“Dan…” I whispered, barely able to speak.

“Liv, I’m so sorry for everything…”

“Dan… need to breathe.” His arms relaxed around me, not holding me in a death grip anymore.

“Oh. Sorry. I just thought…. I thought you were dead.”

“I’m not. Why would you think that?”

He didn’t say anything, his metal covered face just staring at me, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I reached up, and lifted the helmet off his head, staring at him, his brown eyes, curly brown hair, and the stubble growing out on his chin.

Someone cleared their throats. Dan’s arms dropped away, and I turned back toward the council. Why had they brought Dan in?

“We’ve been training him in fighting, though in truth he is better than anyone except our combat master.” I turned to face the speaker, an old man with a pointed gray beard.

“Why?” I demanded. Why couldn’t they just come out and say what was going on? Why were they attempting to manipulate us with half answers and half promises?

The squeaky man squeezed his thin lips into a smile, “Why? To be your guardian of course. We tested his dedication to you by telling him you went into the City and you were executed. Then we told him we were training him to take vengeance on you. You chose the barbarian you brought home well.”

Every word he spoke grated on my words, and Dan just stood there, taking this abuse, “How dare you act as if I dragged him here, or as if he was some uncultured freak! He chose to cross the radiation and never see his people again to bring me safely back to the Wall!”

A heavy hand settled on my shoulder, and turned to see Dan shaking his head, “It doesn’t matter now Liv, you are alive. That’s all that matters to me.”

The woman who was so shocked by my decision smiled at him. “He learns quickly. But that is beyond the point my dear. If we are to help you survive and start a revolution, then we will also need to teach you about the kind of government we…”

“I am helping you overthrow a government that threatens your independent nation. Not the other way around,” I ground my teeth. These people…

She waved her hand, “That’s not an important detail, dearie, you will listen and we will direct if you want our help and support.”

I stayed silent, glaring at her, waiting for her to continue.

The pointy beard man nodded, “See Angelique, they do eventually learn. Now children, you will attend the lesson we chose for you, and learn the roles we plan for you in both the revolution and afterwards. You will be the model citizen returning to the city to save the city, and he will be your barbarian shadow. Understood?”

I nodded, though I wanted to say more. I wanted to tell him we weren’t children; that we’d seen war and death and things he would never see, but we need this place’s help. We needed it if we were to survive.