“Awe man, you were right…this hot-tub is amazing. Totally worth the work.” said a very relaxed space-bunny, melting into the jets, like butter.
“I told you, it’s an essential part of the William Lawg Experience.”
“I don’t know about that deal but it’s absolutely great at removing stress in your upper-back. You do know there is no way I’m sleeping with you, right?” asked Marley.
“Dude…not even cool. This is just a bro-soak, why do you think I enforced the trunks-on policy.” He said looking offended.
“Just clarifying. I mean you do kinda owe me free use of it since I did find the damn thing for you after you ruined the other one.” He said stretching his arms.
“Yea what are the odds of finding another hot tub in mint condition like 4 days after the other one got destroyed. Chafee’s are naturally lucky, but still…what are the odds?” Lawg yawned, sipping his cola.
“Apparently 1…because we found it. Odds don’t really mean anything after the fact because it’s already absolute. There is zero in zero chance we wouldn’t find it now, because it’s already here. Whatever the odds were, it was that number over itself and anything over itself is 1.” Marley yawned back.
“Heavy…real heavy. Maybe too heavy for a christening soak in a new tub, but suit yourself. Just wait…with the new tub and a larger capacity…there is gonna be a line of babes just waiting to party with the Lawgmeister.” He smiled.
“That’s a brand of liquor, you can't claim that name without owing money to someone.” he noted.
“No that’s Jagger Meister, An alcoholic energy drink invented by the singer of a rock band in the late 1950’s, Jefferson Airsmith.”
“How do you know all this Earth history?” he asked. "Public archives are so empty when you look up Earth."
“I read a lot…mostly just labels and old facetube videos. The audio has degraded but you can piece it together if you have some detective skills and a lot of free time.
“If the Earth exploded…wouldn’t the videos be destroyed?” he asked. ‘
“Naw, man…the internet is data. Data can’t be created or destroyed, that’s basic science, Stephan Hawkeye invented that. I think Jeb Gore invented the internet before he became Vice-President of Earth. Anyway it’s out there…you just gotta find a good signal. Some of the old Starbase Coffee houses still have active Wifi that hasn’t fully drained out yet. Gotta get it while it's there, I don’t know where else find Wifi outside the debris field where the earth used to be. I don’t even know what Wifi is or how to collect it. I just flew through the dust cloud one time and my GPS got a signal and opened it. Turns out the Password is “Password”, same as my old safe Password back before I sold the roof of the SS Tast-E-Chill for fuel money... or something else…food maybe.
“That reminds me…we really should replace that panel some day.” said Marley.
“Why? We added enough tape to the canvas last time that it stopped leaking entirely. The second tarp seemed to insulate it so it doesn’t get cold anymore.” He said tossing Marley a can of Mountain mist.
“Yea, technically the trapped air between the tarps and the umbrella is insulating it, but that’s not a permanent solution. Maybe when we dock at the next spaceport or stop at a Quiky-Proton we can see if they have a panel kit.” Marley pushed.
“Sure…if we have time.” he said looking around.
“That reminds me…” Marley noted. “What exactly does this ship run off of?” he asked.
“I’m not sure… I usually just fill it with omnifuel. Seems to work fine.”
“When in doubt…omnifuel.” toasted Marley. “Regular or unleaded?”
“Regular only…if you put unleaded in this thing it just chugs and knocks. You’d think they would have solved that problem by now but you know how R and D is in this quadrant.” He shrugged.
“Lazy omnifuel scientists. Big omnifuel just uses that to charge more when the “unleaded plants” catch fire. Marketing monopoly. Only reason they charge 500 credits a gallon” he said scratching his floppy ears.
“No joke.” He said raising a glass. “That’s why I unscrewed the Fragulation regulator. It's just there to reduce efficiency.” He scoffed.
“I mean yea, it reduced efficiency but doesn’t it also prevent Thelma radiation in the exhaust emittions?” asked Marley.
“I dunno. I just know I’m not dying stranded in space over a little bit of Thelma radiation. They say it causes the universe to get warmer but let’s be honest…it's pretty cold right now so it could use a little universal warming.” preached Lawg.
“It’s a myth anyway.” yawned Marley
“You only live once…even if it is forever.” He toasted.
“I…don’t know what that means or if I agree to that but this hot tub must makes me not care about anything but re-fills and hot-tub.” He said slouching further down.
“Just keep your furry feet on your side, it’s a big tub but I have my rules.” He said as Uka crossed her arms and stood behind him.
“Has his Majesty sufficiently pruned himself, or should I come back later with those scans I spent all night doing?” she asked.
“I told you I’d do them eventually. We don’t have to have them until we reach Delta Station." he said adding more rum to his soda.
“We have been orbiting Delta Station for 45 minutes.” She informed.
“I know…we didn’t have the papers done so I couldn’t land.” He yawned.
“We do need to re-supply at some point and if we run out of fuel, the fact that we are literally a kilometer from a gas station doesn’t actually help us if we don’t ever dock. We are hauling illegal cargo, so paperwork would be good to have if they ask…hence why I spent all night doing them…so we can dock and get fuel.” She explained.
“So what’s the problem? We got credits and papers and we’re at Delta Station, I fail to see the issue. The problem resolved itself.” Lawg shrugged.
“No the problem was resolved by me, because I would like to dock so we can fix the huge hole in the roof and maybe just stretch our legs a bit. I’m cooped up in there with you two dorks and I would like to see something other then the inside of this ship for a day or two.” She said storming off to the cockpit. Lawg scoffed.
“Women…I don’t know why she is so upset all the time. Must be the rabies and the testosterone women produce.” Yawned William
“Yea totally…I mean it’s actually estrogen, and rabies is a myth. Also, you did kinda stick her with 4 pages of transport pages to fake but yea…I get the idea. Women are weird.” He said letting the point drift lethargically over William’s inch-thick skull.
“Well, she doesn’t do much on this ship. You do all the tech stuff and I do the Captaining, like providing leadership and mixed drinks, all she does is a little cleaning and some falsifying documents, sometimes cooking and that time with the toilet clog but mostly just slouching around being mad. Why can't she be like me, slouching around and being happy? Maybe she needs to get laid. Hopefully there is a guy on Delta Station who meets her standards. Do they even have boy-whores? Obviously he needs to be slightly less good looking than me or she might not come back but, I dunno, there has to be a few 9’s down there with a hearing deficiency or shallow motivations.”
“What did she do before you accidentally abducted her?” asked Marley, stepping out and drying off.
“I don’t know…never asked. Bartender maybe…or was that someone else? No I think bartender. I remember her serving me the worst drinks. Probably why she doesn’t do it on the ship. That place was a dump; I may have done her a favor.” He shrugged off, grabbing a towel with the word CAPTAIN written on with marker.
“So where did you take her from, was it recently?” he asked.
“Right before I met you actually. Good fortune because I just lost my other crew and had to get away quick. My last onboard lady left me for a guy who owned a pawn shop, so I was a crew-woman short that day. I don’t remember what planet that was, I was pretty sober.” He smirked.
“You don’t even know what planet your girlfriend was from? Do you even know what species Uka is?” he asked.
“Of course I know where my EX-girlfriend was from, Bahooka 3, I just don’t remember the planet I left her on after she left me for a store owner and robbed me blind. And Uka…she is one of those people from that one planet…maybe a slave girl, I don’t know. Point is: mistakes were made and people got cheated and some of it was my fault and some of it was not and now she is here and it worked out somehow. Everything works out if you-”
“Go with the flow and let the universe provide, I know…do you know what the stardate is today, can you even tell me that?” he asked.
“Who cares, we live in space! There is no day and night, the lights work regardless of the time and we have nowhere to be on any specific day. Days and time is all just stuff we made up to have boundaries to conform to, keep the man down and working between the lines.” Lawg said squinting paranoidishly.
“Pretty sure it was invented by how planets move. Also helps to regulate sleep and monitor crops and keep from starving in winter and stuff but yea, sure, mostly to keep the man under the line and stuff. Here is a weird thought…maybe Uka is always pissed because you abducted her and still have no idea what species she is…let alone her last name or how her day was. I mean you talk to her a lot about trivia and historical things, and what needs fixed on the ship and all but do you ever just talk WITH her?” he asked.
“No…like just have a conversation? Why would I do that?” he asked.
“You talk to me, we’re talking right now…why is that so different?”
“That’s a good point. I guess I assumed she wouldn’t want to hang out like one of the guys and after I decided sleeping with her is off the table I didn’t have a reason to try.” He shrugged.
“You mean after you blew your chance with the whole poop-cannon incident?” he added.
“No, like when I realized I couldn’t sneak out and fly away after the sex because we’re already on my ship. I made that mistake once.” He said shaking his head.
“How did that go?” he asked as they got into the teleporter.
“She got clingy, tried to chain me down like an animal and the Lawg-man needs to fly unfettered and free like a majestic pterodactyl. I'm too free to sit still, I gotta float with the current.” He said dramatically squinting upward.
“Yep, nothing floats like a Lawg.” He yawned.
“Plus my ex drugged me, ran off with a 2 headed, 4 armed alien and tricked me into pawning my roof, so that didn’t set well with me. You gotta draw the line, Marley…man needs hoes and crew but when they overlap…things get complicated.”
“Yea it’s probably better of you stuck to fuel-station space-hookers and refused to connect emotionally to anyone, the single and smart one who stays for some reason, and is apparently very attractive is best kept just as a janitor and crew grunt. Good solid game-plan.” Marley said looking around.
“Thanks…but I didn’t get this wise overnight, it took mistakes and time, I nearly lost a toe and the nightmares come a knocking now and then. Don’t worry little buddy, you’ll learn life experience. I know your only 15 but you’re already book-smart and some of my street-smarts will wear off on you. Some day you might be a better Captain than I am.” he beamed proudly.
“One can only hope, sir…why are we not teleporting, we’ve been standing here like 2 minutes.” He noted.
“These old ships take a while to recharge after someone transports. You’d be amazed how power-heavy these things are but they take less space than a shuttle pod.”
“Not when you factor the batteries and the extra fuel consumption tank.” He muttered
“What?”
“Nothing.” He said dryly as they began to sparkle and disappeared.
Captain Lawg walked briskly, hoping to outrun the chatty little buddy that was talking nonstop since they reformed.
“You realize that a teleporter is just a clone/murder machine that works on the assumption that everything will come out correctly. You get ground up into photons and essentially dead, and it just prints another you somewhere else from the light-pulp.” he finished, looking up at William as they dodged the people passing by.
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
“Naw, it’s not that complicated. I come out exactly the same every time and I’ve used it hundreds of times.” He assured "No side effects."
“Yea but they’ve only been functionally used on the pubic for what…30 years? It doesn’t take much of a glitch to print you out inside-out and then you explode, or missing an ear and that’s it…everything that is you is now missing an ear forever, cant sew it back, it's just light now. It just seems super risky and philosophically disturbing. And the amount of raw data…geese.” Marley huffed.
“So what? Elevators and shuttles can malfunction and kill you too. You can’t worry about the details all the time. You get in, and you go somewhere, simple at that. You worry too much.” muttered Lawg.
“About being shredded and re-assembled a hundred times, yea I do. We should get a shuttle pod, or at least figure out a way of landing the Tast-E-Chill. The only shuttle pod we have is half the size of the ship and permanently glued on as a replacement roof.”
“It’s a double-decker, twice the room for the museum. The old Freezies were never designed to land, you build them in space and they go back and forth exclusively to space stations that have zero-G docks. And when they break down you let em drift. Hell, they didn’t even design them to go a million miles; we’re already double the lifespan of its intentions. You know the B-deck is mostly supported by cardboard.” He noted.
“Cardboard?!” asked Marley
“Yea, they found a way of making it stiffer and started making skateboards and surfboards. Some company started making cardboard guitars that played great for like 3 weeks, which was fine for the bands that kept smashing them on stage anyway, most bands were tone deaf by 2018. One day they decided it was light and cheap enough to make spaceships out of. The first prototypes didn’t go so well, the ice-cream would sweat and the cardboard would get damp and just, POP, the ship would fly apart. So, they stopped making the structural parts and the hull out of it, but some of our ship has the original cardboard interior bits.” he grinned.
“Why do I keep flying with you” he asked.
“Well, the history for one, you share my love for the old and classic Earth memorabilia, and the perks of having the luckiest species in existence Captaining the ship.” He bragged.
“Yea you do have insane luck. Remember last week when those freighters at the fuel station thought we were one of the new garbage haulers and they filled the cargo bay with garbage? We made a killing on the tritium scrap value alone, plus that exact lightbulb you lost for the turn signal…good times.” Marley nodded.
“Uka kept trying to tell me it was the actual same light and I just forgot it in the cargo bay. It’s like she doesn’t believe in good things.” He said veering off path and spotting a very flashy neon bar sign.
“Alright little buddy, this is my stop.” He said wandering off. Get the list supplies and meet me here in an hour.
"I thought we were both picking up essentials?"
"We are, just from different stores, leave me to what I gather best." he beamed, veering into the bar.
"Booze…how unpredictable." Marley muttered.
"And get something called milk!"
“Awe, he’s so adorable.” Swooned one of the 4 various colored bimbos huddled around Captain Lawg as he held up a picture of Marley that he cut from his drivers license without him knowing.
“Yea, poor thing was starving, abandoned and alone. Only fifteen years old, no family. Of course I had to help him. He is like a furry little son to me now.” he said letting out a deep sigh.
“It’s too bad you can only stay a few days, I'd love to meet him.” said the blonde.
“Well, we have lots of work to do but I could make time for some of you to meet him, he works so hard…we both do, we can take a few hours off and really get to try out the new hot-tub.” He grinned.
“What’s a hut tub?” asked the violet-head.
“Like a regular tub but with heat. It’s part of my ancestral heritage. It was tradition to have a small recreational pool with various relaxation jets and mood lighting to help ease the aching bones of hard laboring men and their companions. This one is nearly 200 years old and may have been used by the President of Earth at one time. It normally seats about 4, but you ladies are petite enough to cram, 8, maybe 9 if you don’t mind stacking.” He said. Two of them rolled their eyes ad left, another joined in.
“So, I could give you the tour if you have the time.” he insisted.
“I can’t, I have to catch the bus to Beta Station in the morning.”
“It’s fine, we happen to be heading that way already, so I can give you a lift there if you need to crash.” He insisted.
“You’re too sweet.” She swooned
“Yea, I kinda am a little bit.” He beamed.
Captain Lawg spotted Uka and diverted long enough to throw his arm over her shoulder. She looked shocked and confused.
“There you are, can you please proceed to the ship and get it ready for takeoff, no hurry, our precious cargo isn’t going anywhere in the next hour.” he winked, handing her the keys as she watched him make a small scene with his groupies hooting and hollering. She looked at the keys and shrugged, heading to the transport pad and transporting to the ship. She checked the docking number and gave a slight sinister grin.
Uka sat in the cockpit, slowly looking things over and making educated guesses as to what levers to pull. She spent a good 20 minutes making adjustments and turning things on and back off again. She jumped slightly at the sound of someone opening the side hatch. The sound was unmistakably that of Captain Lawg and Marley with the addition of the giggling fem-squad.
“Hey, Uka. Come join us, we’re having fun.” He hollered at her
“No thanks, I need to check the cargo.”
“No, no, no, it’s cool. Get in the tub, we can scotch, and make room, it’s not weird because there are plenty of floosies between us guys, so cramming isn’t a problem anymore.” He slurred a bit.
“How many of these things have you had?” she asked, kicking a soda can.
“I haven’t…I maybe like 2 but most of these are everybody’s else’s cans. Two tops, and like the remainder of this one…which I guess is just full of tub-water.” He said taking a sip and spitting it over the edge. “Yep, so like 3. also some drinks at the bar and a few burgers, fries, a shake. Maybe overdid it a lil bit. You want one?” he asked opening a can.
“No thanks, I am cutting back. I did notice a tail-light out, so should I go fix that? I think there are fresh lights in the cargo bay.” She said.
“You know we don’t have any lights left, they’re all stuck in the chandelier. That thing won't work unless it has all 5 lights in it. Very bad design. Jump in for a bit, we’re not in a hurry. Crack open a hot tub, and find a spot in the soda.” He cheered.
“Sir, I have important duties and I don’t feel comfortable in a tub full of hookers.” She said politely.
“Mkay, don’t be mean, they’re not hookers.” He corrected. A faint “I am” muttered from the group.
“Okay this one is apparently a hooker, I was not aware of that but the others are respectable dancers and waitresseiceces and things of that nature. We’re having fun. Why don’t you ever do fun with us, you don’t have to always have to work all the time.”
“Sir, I take my work very seriously and I will join you in a bit, just as soon as I check the cargo, can I please have the security code for the cargo hold?” she asked.
“I got this, somebody take my hooker.” He said pushing her aside to get out, falling on his face and laughing, causing a cascade of laughter. He dried off and fell again just before reaching Uka, straightening his stance and getting serious. “Hey… come on, we can sort this out when we get moving, just hang out with us for an hour. It’ll be fun.”
“Sir, I feel very ill, I just need to make sure the cargo is safe, please just let me settle my mind and rest a minute and I promise I will lighten up. I just need the codes.” She insisted, looking frustrated and nervous.
“You must be feeling sick, you know nothing on this ship has a working security lock.” He joked, cracking open another soda.
“Maybe you should just have a few more drinks for me and I’ll join you later.” She said with a pleasant smile. “Then we can all get drunk and party.” She said skipping off.
He scratched his head and returned to the SS floosie-tub. Something felt odd.
“Hey, did Uka seem really odd to you or am I just missing something?” asked Marley.
“Maybe she is just stressed out. She must be overworked, she wanted security codes for the cargo bay.” He said brushing it off.
“Um, we don’t have a security lock…we don’t even have a door handle. You didn’t find it pretty weird that she said she would get drunk with us later? Uka doesn’t drink…and she knows your half Chaffee.” He pointed out.
“Well, maybe she just hasn’t slept well.” He yawned, rotating his floosies around the tub for verity.
“I’m just gonna go check on her, it’s probably nothing, but if she is that out of it she doesn’t need to be lifting heavy boxes alone.” He said hopping out of the tub as the tub-bimbos pouted. He made his way to the upper deck and noticed Uka talking on a phone. The ship shuttered slightly as it began to lift off. He stepped behind the nearest crate and spied on her.
“There has been a complication. Just shut up and listen to me. The cargo is coming to you, I can handle the crew, it’s just a bunny and some dipshit and a few skanks he brought onboard, everyone is drunk and I finally figured out the navigation panel. Just be ready at the drop-off point with a clear cargo bay and everyone you can spare to move the goods quickly. Weapons on stun, these dips seem harmless and there is no sense killing them if we don’t have to.” She said closing the phone. He made his way to the lockers and grabbed his trust leaf-blower. He took a deep breath and walked into the room casually.
“Hey Uka…can you tell me where the nuclear, explosive, grenades are for this thing, I only have 1 tube left.” He said placing it on the crate next to him.
“I don’t know, maybe they got buried under some supplies.
“Well, you can’t be too sure, you know. I’m sure 8 grenades are enough for most situations but you can’t be too prepared in space. He said watching her hide her com.
“Probably in the armory, I’ll go with you…you first.
“What are you trying to pull Uka? You know we don’t have an armory or a security door on this damn ship. You know very well that the only working weapon is this bad boy right here and you are lying to me. Should we get the captain or can we discuss this openly right here.” He said pointing the leaf-blower.
“Easy there little guy, your acting pretty strange.” said probably Uka.
“I heard the call you received, that phone isn’t even ours, we use Trekphones and they are pre-paid minutes…who are you working for and what have you done with Uka?”
“Fine…you got me, but if you heard my call then you know I have a ship and a crew bigger then yours and armed to the teeth. I can cut you in if you want, ten percent.”
“Ten percent of what…the cargo? Given that we split everything 3 ways that doesn’t sound very good for me even if I was about to turn on my crew. Now where is Uka? I may have some trouble with a crew of armed men but one unarmed woman doesn’t pose much threat as long as I got Alice here with her safety off.” he bluffed.
“Okay big guy…what do you want…half?” she asked.
“You got 5 seconds to start with the details and they better be real, starting with where Uka is.” He said clicking on the killswitch and making crazy eyes.
“Okay, okay. I don’t know who Uka is or where she is but I assume back on the station wondering where you both went. I was minding my business and Captain Morgan downstairs ran into me. He called me Uka and handed me the keys. It seemed like an easy job! I steal things, a ship full of valuable cargo was too good to pass up but your idiot captain had to come back early and now I have to improvise. I haven’t hurt anyone and I don’t wan't to. So how about you just sit back and wait. We relieve you of your cargo and part ways, nobody dies.” She said as footsteps approaches sluggishly. Captain Lawg rubbed his head, swigging down a bottle of something blue and looking slightly better then before.
“The hell is going on up here? Turn around, we got floosies to return before we get a late fee or something.” he said looking at Marley with a confused smirk. “Why are you wielding that air-blower like a weapon?” he chuckled. Marley sighed and hung his head as Not-Uka drew a small pistol from her jacket and pointed at them.
“Good job there Tex.” Marley said dryly.
“Ugh, Uka…where did you get a gun and why are you pointing at us?” he asked.
“My god you are thick.” She chucked. He looked down and pinched his belly slightly, feeling like maybe he should start working out again. “Not fat you idiot…just stupid! I’m not Uka, I am however…robbing you of your precious cargo.” She said sitting down and checking her com locator.
“So…you work for Beverly I take it?” asked Captain Lawg.
“No, I work for me. Open one of those crates, I wanna see what kind of payoff I just scored 40 percent of.” She ordered.
“So you have no idea who Beverly is…and you have no idea what these crates are full of?” asked Marley. There was a moment of silence ad both of them busted out laughing.
“What is so funny?” she asked.
“Open a crate, go ahead.” laughed the space-bunny and his human counterpart, both nearing the point of collapse. She pried open one of them and looked shocked, pulling out a small stuffed animal of some kind.”
“What’s in them? Drugs? Security codes, fidget spinners?” she asked.
“Beans mostly, and some cotton. Those are Bean-pals, something that was a big deal on earth centuries ago. They’re just collectibles and nobody wants them except Beverly.” wheezed Lawg, still laughing. She never saw a Lawg roll before.
“What do you mean? These are just dolls, worthless collectible stuffed alien dolls?!” she barked angrily, tearing one open to find nothing important. “Why would you be hauling thousands of these, and falsifying documents?!?”
“They’re illegal as hell.” chuckled Marley, getting back up and holding back his laughter. “Some archaic superstition from a hundred years ago. The Furbians are terrified of them for some reason, but Beverly has a collection of worthless contraband items and we made a deal when we found this shipment.” He said wiping his tears.
“Then, I’ll just take them and sell them to Beverly myself for the profit. What was the price?” she asked.
“Six crates of guarana soda, 2 gallons of styling gel, a few cases of canned veggies and the big item: a mint condition, fully functional Float-board.” said Lawg.
“That’s it? A bunch of junk and a floating board?” she asked.
“Actually…it doesn’t float, the name is horribly deceptive but they are fun to ride around when you don’t wanna walk.” He assured. “And I do a lot of business with Beverly so, he won’t be thrilled if you kill us or stole our cargo. He was pretty excited that we had a Tipsy the Tiger still in the plastic.” He smirked.
“No, that’s a lie…these have a secret you are not telling me.” she said pointing the gun harder. Marley tossed her a communicator.
“Call him yourself, we’re gonna be running late now so he would love a good explanation.” He grinned. They both stood silently waiting.
“UUUUAAGH, FINE! Then I guess I’ll have to take my commission off your ship. What does this shit-heap have of value?” she asked. Lawg grinned.
“Absolutely nothing we can spare and still get to Beverly's Base. Frankly it's a miracle this thing even runs with it missing a third of its vital systems. Feel free to check yourself but if we don’t get to Beverly base in 2 days, you made a powerful enemy.” said Captain Lawg. “Chessmate, no overtime.” He added, placing a pipe in his mouth and looking triumphant as a few bubbles gently wafted from it.
The real Uka looked livid as the two boys sat in the den, both depressed and embarrassed. Neither of them had anything on but a towel.
“I can’t believe you two jackasses got your clothes stolen…you abducted another person that looked like me, left me on Delta Base with no idea where you were, and then you got robbed?” you’re like children, I can't leave you unsupervised for one day without you getting us killed or stranded or mugged.” she complained.
“I mean, she did look exactly like you.” protested Captain Lawg.
“Seriously? Neither of you can tell my kind apart enough to not just hand the keys to the ship to a stranger…how sober were you?” she asked Lawg.
“Pretty sober.” He admitted with a hint of shame. “Bout 8 or 9 sodas, a burger, milkshake earlier that day.”
“And not a drop of alcohol in that time, hu?” she scolded like an angry mom.
“I was having fun.” He said pouting. "I had hoes."
“Unbelievable. Is the cargo still there?” she asked.
“Oh yea it's fine, we bluffed out of that. We told her Beverly was a pretty menacing person. The rest was true so it was convincing and easy to get our story straight. It’s all there.” muttered Marley.
“So she left the cargo…at least you didn’t botch the getaway even if you did sort of create this whole problem to begin with. I guess we didn’t lose anything important, we can get you some new clothes.” She smirked. Lawg looked mortified.
“Nothing of value?! How can you say that? We lost the most valuable irreplaceable item on this ship and we can’t ever get it back now.”
“Seriously, what is it with you and that damn hot-tub? Why would anyone want a used people-boiler full of chemical water, in space? If the power goes out, that’s a 5 foot ball of conductive liquid floating around on a ship with cardboard beams and exposed wires.” she barked.
“You wouldn’t understand.” Lawg said burying his face in his hands and almost turning grey with despair.
“Don’t worry Captain…the universe will provide…remember?” she grinned sarcastically. She trotted off feeling like she had accomplished something, even if they lost a little in return. She made her point perfectly clear.