The intro music played for a news channel, as a Delmarian woman in a suit vertically tapped a stack of papers into alignment to look professional, the camera panning to her and the dramatic news jingle reaching the end.

“Hello, I’m Timber Mueruudewdeeera, and this is Moon News 5 at 10. With us today are 4 guests that have gone viral over the internet since the recent foiled crime underground fiasco. Councilmember Gizzy Greggarious was not available, but we have with us, Gizzy’s youngest son, Zephyr Claybourne Greggarious, and we all know, famous onlyfundz model: Deidre Grace Sullivan, commonly known as Double Dee 33. Now Dee, You were recently abducted and placed on a market for sale as a human slave. That must have been traumatizing for you.”

“Yea, it’s been a weird experience, but I’m getting through it with friends.”

“And Zephyr,” started the anchor.

“Just Zeph.” He corrected.

“Zeph, you were the one who rescued Dee from her imprisonment. How did you manage to find her? Were you looking for her, or was it a fortunate accident?”

“Both. I actually went out with Dee a few times, a few dates, and after she went missing I worked with the authorities and on my own time as well looking for her. I did a bit of, um, vigilante spy work to find her, and honestly just got super lucky. It turned out to be a guy we both knew, and I followed some clues and, uh, actually had to bid on her myself to track her down in time. Ended up getting lost and shot at, and by sheer luck when the authorities had a lead, I was already closer, so before they could get there, in a time sensitive manner, I just went in and took care of it.”

“Amazing. You’ve been called the Pornstar’s Hero online, how do you feel about that?”

“Well it does make me sound like I’m a hero and a pornstar so it’s a bit confusing, but I assure you I’m just a hero.” He smiled.

“Now there has been some controversy over the rescue since the mastermind of this entire human trafficking system turned out to be the fairly decorated Delmarian, General Stone Sarmuguffguur, which instead of bringing in alive, you…killed.”

“Well, he was selling humans slaves, and he was armed.”

“But you’re Osirian, so wouldn’t the bullets just, bounce off of you? Could you have taken him alive for trial?” she asked.

“Probably, if we weren’t in a confined space with Dee, who is not bulletproof. He was firing a gun inside a metal van with a human nearby, I wasn’t going to risk her getting killed, so I grabbed him yanked him to the floor and with my superior strength and his old age, he didn’t survive. I’m not military trained or anything; I don’t have the skills to finely tune my strength and attacks during a life or death situation. I defended and reacted on instinct against a very large military veteran with a weapon, and obviously just overwhelmed him.”

“Some Delmarian purists are calling you a murderer.”

“They can call me an ear of corn if they want, I frankly don’t give a tinkers dick.” He said, “Sorry, I mean…the council did find him guilty, and I was given permission by police to move on the target that night. I’d like to repeat how he was selling human sex slaves, can we really focus on that and absorb what kind of person I killed rather than the fact that I killed someone in defense of another person…with police permission to move.” He pushed.

“Just seems odd that the police would encourage vigilante work.”

“Well, with the surface off limits and bug infested, authorities being far away and time of the essence, sometimes you have to adapt. They did tell me not to take matter into my own hands originally; I just…did it anyway. Justice sometimes calls for the people to act. Plus I’m rich, I’m loaded with armor and technology and a badass. I mean, I’m basically the Osirian Batman…except darker. I’m Blackman.” He grinned.

“But you did commit several crimes, breaching the surface, stalking a vehicle, going against police advisement, and trying to take down a crime boss behind the police’s back.”

“No no, successfully took down a crime boss. There was no try. I actually succeeded, that gets me off the hook for some minor violations in the necessary process. I don’t advise it, and yes I have a reputation of defying authority, but I was actually right this time. Hence the hero thing. It’s not like I killed the wrong guy. It all worked out in the end.”

“And how did you know he was the right guy?”

“Uh, the police described the vehicle, said it was general Stone, and Dee was hogtied in the van with him, so that lead me to the conclusion that this is the right guy. He had a gun and a human tied up in a van who was being sold, are we missing the point here? I saved an innocent life and killed the head of an underground crime organization, like…yea I did some trespassing and went against surface breaching policy, she’d be dead or like…a slave if I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, the police and several military operatives involved did the heavy lifting here, like there were 43 arrests and 20 criminals killed in a massive shootout, the police work in infiltrating the thing was on them. They did weeks of work leading to this. I just got lucky in my location, did my best as a citizen to protect a friend, and they only gave me the green-light because the clock was ticking fast, and I’m OP as fuck and only a block away.”

“So the police did their jobs well, and you just mostly got lucky?”

“Yea, basically. It still goes without saying that I saved her life specifically, but there were over 30 girls rescued that night by the police and military, they just didn’t get headlines because they weren’t well known pornstars saved by a vigilante and famous Osirian. I saved one person, a lotta non-bulletproof humans and Delmarians risked their lives for strangers, they’re the real heroes. I mean, I’m definitely a hero, but they’re like…double hero. They deserve most of the credit.”

“So, Dee…how will this affect your career?” the anchor asked.

“It…shouldn’t affect it much. I work from home. Me and Zeph aren’t a closed couple or anything, so I’ll be back to my normal work as usual. Won’t be going to the clubs alone anymore, Ladies…safety in numbers, run in packs, carry a knife and pepper spray.” She said firmly.

“There’s actually been a petition going around to allow young women to own and carry firearms, What’s your opinion on that?”

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“Honestly, I think every young woman should be rocking a damn 44 magnum. We live on a moon with Men the size of literal bears and the Purists consider humans to be less than them with no rights, so I think it’s bullshit that we can’t carry something better than bear-mace.”

“So here we have, Vendetta Radravereed Gurverdermnerer, famous Fupar champion and poster child for interspecies marriage rights, and now local hero working for the police as an undercover helper, on a massive human trafficking bust. Is there anything you DON’T do?” she flirted.

“Drugs, don’t do drugs, kids.” He smiled.

“Model citizen, and Nicole Marie Gurverdermnerer, the internet’s favorite little human and practically the face of Alice Rights, you were involved with the takedown as well?”

“Well, I’m a game tester and programmer and with my husband working undercover with the police and my friend and roommate abducted, I helped provide some tech support. I may not be big and bulletproof, but a well executed team effort needs all kinds of support to work, otherwise it can’t succeed. Plus, I wanted every bit of assistance I could give finding my friend and keeping my husband safe.” She smiled.

“Incredible teamwork. And we’re so sorry about the loss of your friend, Hyde. Losing someone in the line of duty is difficult, and you two weren’t even police officers.” She said, looking at Vinn. “What’s it like losing a friend in the line of duty?”

“Well, we had a complicated relationship, to say the least. We were in the core together when he was The kraken, and he was anything but a friend, in fact I don’t feel bad about killing him in the arena, he threatened my wife, but after being cloned back he really saw things differently. His experience with the afterlife and not being accepted as even having a soul was a struggle for him and he became a better person as a result of it. We even brought him into the group home during the early lockdown because he had no place to go that was secure.”

“And you became friends?”

“Well friends is a bit of a stretch, we had some feelings and disagreements, but we worked together for the group, and he dated Dee briefly, so when she went missing, he was one of the first ones to volunteer to help find her, and we definitely didn’t get along very well, but you know, common enemies and emergencies, you just go with it, any help is help.”

“And he died in the tunnels trying to save a human.”

“Yea. Those lower levels are just not safe to be in, but he had a job to do, and you know, we’re both military trained, we just do our job, risk or no risk. Just goes to show that nobody’s invincible and life is precious.”

“Now you both trained under General Stone, that must have been a real shock to find that someone you knew was behind the abductions of your friend.”

“Yea, I felt pretty betrayed, but that’s sort of the problem. I don’t mean to be political about this, but I’m gonna. The general was always a Purist, to the core and from the core, hardcore. Even Kraken was a bit of a purist himself, in fact he disagreed about Human Delmarian marriage, which is what lead to our honor fight. But after he was brought back, he said the afterlife was not what he expected it to be. He changed after that, and in the end he gave his life trying to find a human he loved. That’s sort of the point in the whole shitstorm. We’re still so stuck in the old ways of thinking that we live and die by codes that turn out to be different from what the old ways taught us. I’ll be called a heretic for saying it, but Kraken died and came back the Hydra, a better man with more soul than he ever had. It’s never too late to change your future, and it’s hard to forgive someone for doing terrible things, but sometimes we can become more than our past, and Hyde proved that.” Vinn bullshitted

“So why isn’t he being cloned back again?” she asked.

“Frankly because of the damn laws. As the Kraken he had full rights to his soul and therefore any legal contract, but after cloning, he lost his Delmarian rights and ended up in kind of a crack in the legal system. Gizzy has been trying to fix that problem but the old Purists won’t budge, and as long as Delmarian cloning is still illegal, we can’t bring people like him back. No matter how much he’s improved and bettered himself, the purists saw Hyde as an abomination with no rights, who died protecting livestock as a traitor, when we should see him as proof that Delmarian cloning should be the same as human cloning, the right for them to choose whether or not they get cloned back after death. We’re holding ourselves back as a society. Humans and Eridani get cloned back all the time, with our without knowing it, as per their right and choice. And medical records don’t even make it legal to ask if someone is a clone. That’s patient confidentiality. They’re people too, just like us, except…given a second chance. We all deserve a second chance.”

“What about General Stone? If cloning laws were changed, would you agree he deserves a second chance?”

“Well, that’s my point. Cloned or not, he would be the same person who committed those crimes and should be tried for it, the court offense sentence would still be hanging. That’s not my right to judge. Kraken’s crimes were against me and Nicole, and we forgave him for that after he changed his ways. That took a lot for us. It took a lot of time to see that he truly felt terrible for his old self. I believe General Stone was too old and set in a far more radical belief, and his crimes were more severe. Disagreements of honor, settled in the pit, are a long-standing Delmarian way, and Kraken died as many do in there. His sentence was served according to law. He disrespected my wife and myself, he challenged, and I accepted in her honor, and won. I personally think after being in the Fupar area myself, that it’s a bit barbaric and unnecessary, but it’s at least voluntary. Abducting humans into slavery is beyond forgiveness and frankly military or not, any Delmarian who abducts a human girl to sell as property in an underground community of violent sexual deviants, breaking numerous laws, he deserves to die for that, and I feel zero empathy or remorse for that monster.”

“Compelling words. Nicole, you were the one they were fighting over. How do you feel about his death?”

“I agree with Vinn. Kraken was an arrogant asshole who challenged and lost, I think the entire system is barbaric, but it’s not my culture to change. General Stone took my friend against her will, forcefully, and anything capable of that…well if there is a Delmarian hell, I hope it earned him a place there. We’re not advocating clearing the dead of their crimes, we’re advocating for innocent Delmarian citizens to have the right to a second life, if theirs is tragically cut short.”

“So Dee… How has Hyde’s death affected you?” the anchor asked.

“It’s been, strange. First he was an enemy, and then he became a friend, but we didn’t really date very long, and it wasn’t very serious. The online community acts like we were married or something, we were basically just friends with the same people and I don’t feel like I ever really knew him, truly. But even losing a casual friend is rough, and under the circumstances it was an emotional experience for everyone. We’re all very shook up over it. We’re just trying to heal and move on.”

Gizzy cheered, clinking her Champaign glass off of Jack and Vicki’s glasses, as they watched the interview on the news in Vinn’s den.

“Ding-dong, the Dick is dead.” She smiled.

“You’re not mad at us for stealing your kill?” Jack chuckled.

“Nah, you got to him first. You guys deserved it more.”

“So…” Vicki asked. “Why did you get to keep the head?”

“Because I’m a maniacal bitch and you guys got the kill, I wanted something. I vouched for that shithead, gave him a second chance, and everything. I deserved something. Plus it’s technically evidence, and it goes in the secret evidence lair I definitely don’t have anywhere.” She sipped.

“So we have to just call him a hero now?” She huffed.

“Now, Vicki, sometimes the truth is problematic. We can’t go public with Jacks real profession, or your new vampire qualities, let alone involvement, which would blow your cover. Since I vouched for him, and he stabbed me in the back, we would lose council members on our side. We’re too close to cloning laws to lose that over a complicated truth people won’t understand that will be twisted against us. For the greater good, we act like Hyde was a fallen hero, and you just have to tolerate it. Maybe for your birthday, I can 3d print his skull as a toilet, and you can shit on his memory every day.”

“You’re shitting in the original, aren’t you?” Vicki asked.

“That’s ridiculous…Osirians don’t shit. But if we did, that would have been a tempting project. Oh unrelated, just out of sheer morbid curiosity… How do you feel about snails, in general?”