Gamer Guild’s Dungeon (Second Floor): Killer Kobold

--- Maya ---

She undid the cork on the potion and downed it as fast as she could.

(Maya!)

In the back of her head she heard the voices whispering something about fluids, accelerated application, and a number of other things she wasn’t entirely sure of.

Normally she would’ve put a little more effort into trying to piece together what the whispers were trying to tell her, but as the taste of strawberries lingered in her mouth she felt a warm tingling sensation spread throughout her body as her various aches and pains slowly faded away.

(See, what did I tell you? Completely worth it.) Her inner madness gloated.

(Just because we don’t feel the side effects, doesn’t mean there won’t be any.) Her inner reason growled.

“Look, it doesn’t matter.” She told herself, shutting the argument down. “We were running on fumes, and we have to fight the boss still. I could’ve tried fighting it beaten up, and I probably would’ve lost. Which yeah no big deal it’s just a game, except we’re doing a favor for Decker.”

(And if we lose, he might not have time to finish what he’s working on.) Her inner logic realized with a mental grimace.

“Right, meaning we might as well try the healing potion that everyone else takes in this place.” She sighed, before giving the air around her a look. “Unless you also wanted to fight the Bloodhounds even more beaten up than we already were, because even with our healing herbs I don’t think we could heal enough before we have to deal with those things.”

(Point…) Her inner caution reluctantly conceded.

Shaking her head she started to move around the room collecting her loot while also letting her feel more than a little amazed by how much that one little potion had managed to heal her. (Note to self: Look more into healing tech.)

(...Noted.)

Once she’d gathered everything together she made her way to the room exit and started on her way to the floor’s boss.

Taking a deep breath as she walked she tried to steel herself for the coming fight. “Alright, we may be running low on power but I’ve got this. Ten units is more than enough to stomp a boss, and if worst comes to worst we’ve got more than enough potions to just heal-spam this boss while we duke it out.”

She nodded to herself. “Yeah, the only time these things give me any trouble is when they pull some kind of dirty trick and get the drop on me. I’ve just got to keep my head up, and look at everything with an insane amount of paranoi-ahh!”

She wasn’t quite sure how it happened but she suddenly found herself hanging upside down by her leg.

“Right, traps.” She swallowed as her eyes darted around in a slight panic before spotting two of the lizards making their way over.

Not bothering to try and free herself with two enemies so close, she instead fought through the blood rushing to her head and fired two shots of lightning from her Hand Cannon. The leftmost lizard leapt out of the way, but the one on the right wasn’t so lucky as not only did it get zapped but it was also paralyzed by the bolt’s electricity, giving her an opening to zap it a second time and causing the dungeon monster to burst into pixels.

Unaffected by its comrade’s death the other lizard had apparently rushed closer while she shot its counterpart, leaving her unable to react until it had already rammed its knife into her stomach.

“Fuck!” She gasped before grabbing the lizard’s arm and putting her other Hand Cannon to its face, where a pointblank burst of sound shattered its skull into a swarm of lights.

“Fu-u-uck…” She couldn’t help but groan as she turned her attention to the knife sticking out of her stomach, before grabbing it and wrenching it out in a single motion. “Again… fuck this floor…”

She tried to take a moment to calm her pounding heart but found that to be an effort in futility as the blood continued to rush to her head as she hung from the ceiling.

“Right… going to have to… cut myself down…” And as luck would have it, the knife she’d pulled out of her stomach hadn’t disappeared when she’d killed the lizard that stabbed her.

Her first few attempts at cutting the rope were all failures, not because the knife was too rusted to cut through it, but because she couldn’t fight gravity enough to get the blade to the rope in the first place.

“Okay… sit ups… a surprisingly important part of being a hero…” She admitted, as she let herself go limp.

This was the moment the rope decided to snap on its own, causing her to fall flat on her face.

She laid there for a moment, and briefly fantasized about going full mad scientist on this bitch and burning it to the ground as her minions swarmed the dungeon slaughtering all of its inhabitants. (What’s more, since it’s owned by a gang I’d still technically be the good guy.)

(Whatever you say chica.)

Eventually she managed to pick herself off of the floor and cracked her neck before starting towards the boss room once more. Though this time she moved notably slower, while her eyes also darted to every shadow in sight, half-expecting another lizard to be hiding in each one.

Fortunately for her, this paranoia proved largely unnecessary as she made her way to the boss room doors and found them already cracked open.

“So I guess they came from in here rather than just spawning in the hall.” She noted, not sure if that made the gamer guild’s GM more or less of a dick for unleashing them on the dungeon.

(Perhaps we should just be glad they didn’t trap every hallway.)

“Maybe, but they sure as hell tried to trap every room.” She scoffed before shaking her head and trying to peer through the crack in the door.

The second floor boss room was largely similar to that of the first floor, from the smooth stone floors to the large staircase taking up a good third of the room. The only real difference she could find was a large statue of a figure that looked like a dragon on one side and a vaguely familiar girl on the other.

(Huh, kind of looks like Ying…)

(Funny that.)

Her eyes scanned the room as best she could in search of more of the lizard creatures she’d been fighting all floor, but the only one she could find was a robed lizard sitting on the stairs leading up to the statue looking relatively bored.

She was about to scan the room for the lizard that she just knew was hiding somewhere when-

“How much longer are you going to make me wait?” The robed lizard called. “It’s been long enough that I know you killed my minions, so what in the mistress’s name is taking you so long?!”

She frowned but kept quiet not wanting to let the lizard know she was-

“Look I know you’re at the door, so can you come in here so I can do my whole intro thing or do I need to start throwing exploding fireballs at the door?”

Not wanting to risk getting torched in a hall with too little space to dodge, she slowly pushed the doors open before checking to each side of it to make sure the hidden lizard wasn’t hiding behind them.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“So I’m guessing everyone else has you right and fearful of our kobold might.” The robed lizard smirked down at her, an odd expression on its reptilian face.

“More cautious of your sneak attacks.” She argued, her eyes darting around the room before glancing up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, we’ve gotten real good at stealth.” The lizard taunted. “Surprised the GM let you run the floor like this though.”

That drew her attention back to the robed kobold. “You know what’s wrong with this floor?” She asked, knowing that that was what Decker was hoping to figure out.

“Oh, nothing is wrong with it, if anything we’re doing better than we have in years.” The lizard smiled. “And we’re just going to keep getting better with each run.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She glared.

“It means we’ve been stuck as second floor fodder for a dozen dungeons, and we’re just starting to remember what it was like to be a little higher up on the food chain.” The lizard explained before gesturing towards the statue with a bow. “And it’s all thanks to our mistress.”

“So… someone hacked this floor and raised the difficulty level.” She translated for herself.

The lizard cackled before looking at her with eyes full of Madness as it raised a hand crackling with electricity. “The mistress and her minions did so much more than that.”

Knowing what was coming she made to dodge the obvious electrical attack the boss was about to unleash before something landed on her back sending her toppling forward as something stabbed into her shoulder.

“The fuck?!” She cursed as she bucked the lizard (that I fucking knew was hiding somewhere!) off of her.

Rolling onto her feet she began reaching for the knife in her shoulder before pausing as she caught sight of the lizard who stabbed her.

Unlike the rest of the lizards on this floor who had a loincloth and maybe a few scraps of leather here and there, this one had a pair of torn up shorts that she’d swear looked like blue jeans and was wearing a brown jacket with the hood up and a leather belt wrapped around its torso. And while it did have a knife like the rest of the lizards -(despite leaving a knife in my shoulder)- this one also had a little stone axe in its other hand.

“Oh, allow me to introduce you to my lead minion: Kenny, the Huntslizard.” The robed lizard told her with a laugh.

“Ah, shit, this is one of those gimmicky, bullshit two at once boss fights.” She groaned, possibly in more pain from that fact than the knife she was pulling out of her shoulder.

“Uh, no. I’m still the only Boss Kobold.” The robed lizard told her flatly. “No matter how many other minions our mistress has, I am and will be the only Boss Kobold.”

“Then what do you call him?!” She asked, pointing at the hooded lizard. “He’s clearly a boss monster.”

“Eh, more of a mini-boss.” The robed lizard disagreed before looking away with a thoughtful expression. “This was arguably the most difficult and humiliating lesson my mistress taught me, and yet it is also the most valuable one.”

“What lesson?” She frowned, feeling like she was losing the plot somewhere.

“That no matter how strong you are there are some things you can’t do yourself.” The Boss Kobold answered, before gesturing at the Huntslizard. “Which is why you get a highly competent piece of eye-candy that can do the dangerous stuff for you so you can sit back and ogle them while they kill stuff in your name.”

(Preach sister!)

“Please quit objectifying me.” The Huntslizard asked with a grimace.

The robed lizard took a moment to think about it. “You’re the only kobold with a six pack, so… No.”

Kenny gave his counterpart a flat look.

(Well… she’s got her priorities straight at least.)

“Hey, you’re the one who turned into a training nut after that disrespectful toon curb stomped you.” The robed lizard pointed out. “You’ve no one to blame for this but yourself.”

The Huntslizard pinched the bridge of his nose before sighing as he turned his attention back to Maya. “Right, so, are we fighting or what?”

“Uh, I guess?” She shrugged, having gotten caught up in the drama between the two lizards.

(It’s like a real life rom-com!)

“Fantastic.” Kenny smiled kindly as he threw a knife at her.

“Ah, shit!” She just barely managed to throw her out of the way of the knife before finding the Huntslizard in front of her swinging his axe.

“Oh shit!” She stumbled back just barely getting out of the range of his axe, but at the price of losing her balance and causing her to fall flat on her ass, at which point the lizard jumped at her bringing the axe down into her shoulder.

“Fuck!” She screamed, as the Huntslizard pulled the axe out ready to split her skull with it.

She just barely managed to raise her arm enough to blast the dungeon monster off of her sending him flying half way across the room where it did a (fucking) handspring to flip himself rightside up as he landed with (another fucking knife) at the ready.

“Oh fuck…” (We are way out of our league here…) She swallowed, before fumbling for one of her potions and downing it as fast as she could after her headset revealed that her health had once more dropped into the single digits.

With the tingling warmth once more mending her injuries, she was able to calm herself down enough to try and come up with a plan as she eyed the Huntslizard with notably more caution than before.

(Right, okay, I cannot do anything close to fighting him at close range if he’s that fast.) She freely admitted to herself. (Going to have to keep him at a distance and hope I can zap him.)

She went ahead and reloaded both of her Hand Cannons, knowing that if she wanted to win she couldn’t be stingy with power, especially since she was going to need to fire as many shots as possible to try and hit what she just knew was going to be an agile target.

The Huntslizard began moving and she was forced to act far sooner than she wanted as she fired three separate shots of electricity at the dungeon monster, only to watch in panic as he danced around the lightning with ease and grew closer with each bolt avoided.

“Oh shit…” Knowing that the Huntslizard was growing too close she fired a burst of sound at him in the hopes of forcing him to put a little distance between them.

A plan that utterly failed as the dungeon monster slammed his axe into the ground and tanked the wave of sound without being moved.

Knowing this was the best chance she was going to get to zap him, she raised her electrical Hand Cannon to fire another bolt of lightning only to realize she’d yet to reload it. “Shit!”

She was half-way to firing another wave of sound at the dungeon monster in the hopes of stalling when he pulled something out of his jacket that made her do a double take.

“Is that a fucking molotov cocktail?!” She screeched.

“Yep.” The Huntslizard admitted, looking her in the eye as he bit down on the cloth before pulling it through his teeth as the cloth caught fire.

The dungeon monster threw the molotov at her and if not for a reflexive shot of sound blasting the bottle into pieces, sending most of the cocktail’s contents away from her save a few stray bits of flame that she was quick to pat out as they touched her hoodie.

She couldn’t help but sigh in relief as she realized just how close to being burned alive she’d just come to, before shaking her head as she forced herself to remember that none of her injuries thus far had been anything more than the pain and fatigue of their damage rather than any actual damage. (Still… fire might be a little too… painful for me…)

A shiver ran down her spine, as that idea circled through her head for a moment, before she swallowed down her apprehension and turned her attention back to the fight. (Look he’s not a boss monster and I’ve hit him twice, if he’s like the others once more should- where did he go?)

Her eyes darted around as she realized just how long she’d been standing there and the fact that the Huntslizard was nowhere to be seen.

She heard the sound of cork popping behind her and spun on her heels to find the Huntslizard downing a familiar red vial.

“Healing potions too?” She asked in horror. “How is that fair?”

“It’s not.” The Huntslizard admitted with a shrug. “Though to be fair.” The dungeon monster revealed a few more vials. “These aren’t my potions.”

Her eyes widened in terror as she patted down her jacket and found almost all of her potions to be missing. “Oh, shit…”

“Yeah, you really should get a more secure pouch than your jacket pockets.” The Huntslizard told her with a sympathetic nod.

She stumbled back a step as she tried to get away from the (monster) in front of her, before slipping and falling on the ground.

The (monster) frowned at her. “Hmm, you know if you want, you can just surrender and the dungeon will evacuate you. You don’t have to keep fighting if you’re scared.”

“I… I…” Her eyes darted around, as she tried to think of anything she could do, and just as the thought of actually surrendering filled her head, she remembered an important detail and raised her Hand Cannons as her Aiming Protocols () locked on to the lizard and chimed that they’d both finished reloading.

“Alright, until the bitter end. I can respect that.” The Huntslizard nodded as he readied his axe. “I’ll try to make this quick then.”

She raised her hand as high as she could manage and fired all six bolts of lightning that her Hand Cannons had loaded, and just like all of the previous shots of lightning the Huntslizard avoided them all… or rather he would’ve if she’d been aiming at him.

Instead all six bolts struck the robed lizard sitting on the stairs, shattering the actual floor boss into a swarm of pixels.