Second Heist- The Madcap Museum (Pt. 6): An Audacious Escape
--- Joshua Durand ---
Both heroines were quiet for a moment as they each processed his declaration and what they’d just seen.
“You’re… @^#%/ ?@^#$ grandson?” Power Flight frowned.
(Damn it.) Part of him had been hoping his little black box would’ve loosened after his recent revelation, but (you can’t have everything I suppose.) (Which just makes what you earn all the better.)
“Something like that.” He grinned, watching the pair to see how much they were buying it. (Well, Power Flight seems sold but Terraform is skeptical… Eh, doesn’t really matter right now.)
(Unless you intend on spreading the old boss’s infamy like a good little successor?)
(Eh, I’ll give him a chapter in my autobiography later.)
“Just because being an asshole runs in the family doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want.” Terraform growled, as she sent a wave of wind flying his way.
“Oh, I’m not.” He assured her as he leapt out of his chair with his enhanced strength, before flexing his Madness as he flipped through the air before landing with a bow between the heroines and the watching crowd at the room’s entrance. “I’m merely doing as the audience demands, and giving them a show they won’t soon forget.”
“They’ll forget about you the moment we catch you.” Terraform scoffed.
“Hmm, you’re probably right.” He admitted, thoughtfully before giving his foil a grin. “I suppose that means it’s time to exit stage left?”
With that remark he leapt back and used the ink flow to pass through his adoring audience and into the museum hallway behind them. Their gasps of awe audible even in the inky black of the void. (It’d be even better if I could flow out the museum altogether…)
(Or if you hadn’t forgotten the loot…)
He paused, nearly missing a step as he realized, “Fuck! How did I forget the loot?” He snapped his fingers in frustration. “Maybe I can go back for it?”
(You could, but that would ruin your exit.) A loud crashing sound echoed out of the Baron’s exhibit. (And that would be the Toonification wearing off the bag.)
He shook his head, continuing to walk as his audience’s attention was split between him and the distraction of his loot slipping through his fingers.
(Look on the bright side, you’ve probably got more than enough Madness to make up for it after everything.)
“Right, just got to focus on the positive.” He told himself, before feeling his danger sense go off from behind him and quickly spinning on his heel to avoid a tackling blow. “Like how there’s a beautiful gal unable to keep her hands off of me.”
He winked at Power Flight as the heroine spun to face him once more.
“You’re not getting away that easily.” The flighty heroine warned him.
(She’s the one weak to flirting.)
“Mm, I like a girl who’s persistent.” He grinned before glancing over his shoulder as Terraform landed behind him after leaping over their audience. (Her, less so.) Not that stopped him from adding that, “I especially like being between two beautiful women, but unfortunately I do need to get going. Though if you two ‘d like to schedule a date for next Saturday I’ll be free.”
“I’d be tempted, but I don’t intend to spend the night sitting in a jail cell with you.” Power Flight told him as she crossed her arms and the wind began to pull behind him towards her partner.
(That’s going to mess with our footing.)
“Oh, that does sound terrible.” He agreed with a frown, before ink flowing directly in front of the heroine and grinning as Madness flowed through his veins. “Then again, I wouldn’t mind spending the night with you, darlin’.”
Caught off guard Power Flight’s face flushed as she flew back from him.
The wind tunnel effect grew stronger, enough so that he could feel himself slowly slipping towards the other heroine even as he resisted the wind’s pull.
“Come on! Weren’t you telling me not even five minutes ago you wanted me to leave?” He sighed at the elemental heroine. “Now you’re pulling me back towards the exhibit, make up your mind won’t you?”
“What did you think you were just going to walk out the front door?” Terraform growled, one fist in front of her even as her other hand twirled through the air behind her.
“No… Though now that you mention it, that does sound significantly easier than what I was actually planning.” He confessed, getting another terrible idea.
(But if you pull it off they’ll never forget.)
(And how could I resist that?)
Half heartedly he threw a blot of ink in Terraform’s direction, more to distract her than to actually hit her. Not actually paying attention as the ink was shredded into nothingness by the wind tunnel surrounding them.
A wind tunnel that let up just enough for him to continue forward before Flowing around and behind Power Flight. “Given how you’re the more reasonable of the two of you, do you mind dealing with your friend for me?”
Reacting fast Power Flight threw an empowered elbow back at his head, with enough force that it would’ve cracked something if he hadn’t activated Toon Time to duck and weave around it.
With her facing him, he promptly shoved Power Flight with as much strength as he could muster, sending the Floating Heroine flying back and leaving her to be pulled in by Terraform’s wind tunnel in his place.
Seeing this Terraform quickly adjusted her spell to slow and catch Power Flight, or at least that’s what would’ve happened if he hadn’t let his Madness Field lash out at the pair. For a brief moment Terraform’s winds became more pronounced, before causing the two heroines to collide in an exaggerated tangle of limbs.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
He couldn’t help but laugh with a shake of his head before once more turning to leave.
Only to stumble a step as the world around him began to spin. He reflexively stomped his foot down before he could actually fall, unable to do much else as his thoughts were filled with static and cotton.
After a moment this sensation faded and he shook his head before wiping at a wet sensation on his face and finding black blood leaking from his nose. (What… the hell?)
(Might be pushing the Madness a bit too hard… Really need to get going now, those two are getting back up.)
He blinked before glancing back and seeing that Power Flight and Terraform had separated themselves and were picking themselves off the floor. The latter with a notable glare in his direction.
(Yeah… I really need to get out of here…) He grimaced as he started moving towards the exit with far more haste than he had before.
His danger sense pinged as he reached a turn, before feeling a water bullet slam into his shoulder and send him spinning on his heel as he tried to keep balance with a couple of hasty hops to bleed the momentum.
Once one more stable footing he started sprinting forward as it clicked just how heavily he’d been relying on Toon Time to keep from getting decimated.
And while the sting in his shoulder encouraged him to just spam his Ink Flow from here to the exit, he wasn’t quite willing to chance stumbling again with his already dazed mind. (Especially when those two aren’t stunned themselves.)
Luckily, as he raced into the museum lobby he found nothing standing between him and the exit, save for the ticket turnstile. An obstacle he easily hopped over without slowing his sprint for a moment.
Which with his clouded mind prevented him from spotting the handful of police and Sanctuary vehicles waiting in front of the museum until he was already halfway between the museum and the street. (Ah, shit.)
“Now you’re cornered.” Power Flight told him as she flew over the turnstile and stared him down, the flying superheroine having caught up much faster than her on foot partner.
He glanced between the various law enforcement agents surrounding him (and their very scary guns) before using the one power that had never truly failed him or the old boss. A technique that other masters of it had started and ended wars with. An art form that made men and women alike swoon under its power. A forbidden act that he knew down to his very soul was capable of conquering the world. The infamous, unforgettable, unstoppable act of bullshitting.
“Power Flight, you can’t hop the turnstile like that!” He cried as loud as he could in outraged offense. “I mean you’re a hero and here you are disrespecting this humble device of maintaining law and order within our society?!”
(Ah, turning the tables. A classic.)
Power Flight blinked as she looked down on him. “What?”
“Yes, what next?!” He wondered at their audacity. “I mean first you ignore the turnstile, completely skipping over the line waiting to get in or out. Then when ignoring the ever loyal and faithful turnstile just trying to do its job you fall further and further down the slippery slope of crime until you’re committing arson, murder, and most despicable of all… jaywalking!”
The heroine’s confused stare slowly flattened out. “You’re messing with me again.”
“Am I?” He asked dramatically. “I mean as a super villain do I or do I not have more experience with what would lead a young soul astray upon the path of crime and ne’er-do-well? For instance, I bet you didn’t even pay for your tickets to enter the museum! And that is theft.”
“We entered the museum to stop you from robbing the museum!” Power Flight argued in frustration.
“Two wrongs may make a right mathematically but not in social studies!” He yelled like a mad man before immediately calming down and making several long strides towards the ticket booth. “You’re lucky as a gentleman I feel morally obligated to pay when you cannot.”
Power Flight shook her head as he pulled a wallet out of his pocket. “You… what?”
“I know it really says something that I the super villain have better morals than you the super hero. You’re supposed to be a role model. For children!” He gave her a shake of his own head before looking to the ticket booth employee and slid several bills their way. “Here this should cover for her and her friend… I’m still not paying for my ticket though.”
“You… hypocrite!” Power Flight yelled.
“Super villains are allowed to be hypocrites sweetie!” He smiled back before sticking his hand out towards the attendant. “Tickets please.”
“Um, this… this is fake…” The employee told him to hold up the bills he’d slid over, revealing that they were black and white with cartoonish caricatures of the people actually on them.
“So… it… is…” (Note to self, money apparently transforms when I do.) He coughed into his hand, before leaning forward. “Tell me are you paid enough to actually care?” That made him pause. “Actually now that I think about it, why are you here? There’s a super villain robbing the place and you’re just… sitting here. There is no way they’re paying you enough to put up with my bullshit.”
“Yeah… the uh, the handle broke and I’m kind of stuck in here…” The attendant admitted.
“And, and your co-workers?” They couldn’t have just-
“They left me here…”
“Wow…” He didn’t know what to say to that, causing him, the trapped attendant, and the watching heroine to all fall under a blanket of silence.
Thankfully, this was when Terraform finally showed up.
“Oh, I am so glad you’re here. This was getting awk-ward.” He whispered to the heroine as he hooked his arm around hers and started walking her towards the watching law enforcement. “But what took you so long? I mean with legs like those you clearly- gah!”
His (compliment(!)) was cut short as Terraform punched him in the diaphragm hard enough to pick him a few inches off the ground before leaving him to fall to his knees.
“I had to clean up the damage from our fight, because unlike you I actually take responsibility for my actions.” Terraform explained as she put him in an arm lock.
“Does that mean… you’re going to apologize for… hitting me when I did nothing wrong?” He asked, only to have her twist his arm even further.
“You were robbing the museum!” Terraform growled.
“No I didn’t!” He argued. “I left everything in the museum!” (I’m still kind of pissed about that…)
(Eh, we’ve still got Jackie's gun so that’s something.)
“Because we stopped you!” Terraform reminded him.
“Yes, you stopped me from rearranging the exhibits into a much more palatable form that would’ve better drawn the eyes and attention of the observer via a careful manipulation of object, size, structure, and coloration of proper variety and pattern.” He explained, randomly throwing out words he’d read in some of his art books.
“That’s, that’s bullshit!” Terraform spat out. “You cannot expect that to, to excuse… all of this!”
“I don’t. I just expect it to let me stall long enough to recharge so I can do this.”
His leg shot out and swept the back of Terraform’s knees at the same time that he used his full strength to break the lock she had on his arm and cause her to fall onto her back as he broke free.
Power Flight rushed in front of him to cut off his escape, clearly having forgotten that he could just grab the flow of Madness and rush past her and straight into the line of cops and Sanctuary agents aiming at him.
As he escaped the black of the void he yelled, “Pull the trigger and you’ll shoot each other!” as he ran into the middle of the line of law enforcement faster than they could react.
(Wait, don’t forget to cherry tap!)
He spun towards one of the cop cars before pulling out his Toon Pen and writing ‘I wuz here’ on the hood and stamping it with one of his Ink Tags as an added signature.
To his side one of the Sanctuary guards -realizing how bad shooting between all of them would be- swung on him only to have the blow blocked.
“You’re not as good as Terraform.” He informed the guard sympathetically before less sympathetically kneeing them in the crotch with enough force to pick the guard off the ground.
Stepping around his victim he sprinted forward a bit more before spinning on his heel to once more face the line of police and soldiers before leaping backwards as he gave them all two middle a cry of, “Fuck the police!” before disappearing in another flow of ink before he could hit the ground.