Second Heist: The Madcap Museum (Pt. 5): Stalling The Show

--- Joshua Durand ---

Rather than taking his compliment to heart, Terraform growled before shoving her hand towards him and sending a torrent of wind visibly rushing towards him. (Uh-oh.)

On instinct he grabbed onto the flowing Madness around him as the world faded into black before regaining color as he reappeared behind Terraform with his back to the heroine.

“So we’re getting serious now?” He checked with a smug grin he wasn’t sure if he felt.

(Just the stage jitters. Don’t let it get to you.)

Rather than answering him, the heroine spun on her heel, her hand carrying the wind in a cutting chop that he was sure could’ve taken his head off if not for him bending over and spinning on his own heel to face her once more. Something that allowed him to block her follow-up punches with his forearms, before ducking as she quickly followed up with a wind empowered roundhouse kick that reminded him of his usual sparring partner.

(You know what? I should really thank Zylah for literally kicking my ass so much.) He decided, before leaping away from a second kick with a blade of water trailing it.

Unfortunately, his experience dodging kicks did little to help him when Terraform punched the water before it could fall back to the ground allowing her to hit him in the chest with two bullets of water magic.

(That’s going to bruise!) He hissed to himself, refusing to fall even as he skidded back on the water still on the ground. (Need to think fast…)

He inhaled deeply as Terraform moved to rush him, before making a T with his hands and calling. “Time out!”

Of course this did absolutely nothing to stop the heroine as she shot a punch at his face that he was only just able to dodge by using his Toon Time. “Hey, I called time out!”

“There is no time out.” Terraform scoffed as she grabbed him by the collar before judo throwing him over her shoulder.

“I thought heroes were supposed to be the honorable sort?” He blinked as he used his enhanced reflexes to flip back onto his feet before he could actually hit the ground. Something that allowed him to quickly form an Ink Knife to try and force her back a step with a cutting slash.

“Says the guy who slapped me in the face with a fish, and held my friend with a knife to her throat.” The heroine pointed out as she grabbed his wrist and twisted it to the side, forcing him to drop his blade, before she delivered a wind infused hook to his face that was promptly followed up by a string of blows that knocked him into the air where she leapt after him and slammed him back into the ground with a heel drop.

“Ow-chies!” He gasped, feeling several bones break before slowly snapping back into place.

(Okay, this one may be a little higher level than we were expecting. Might want to think about calling it.) The devil on his shoulder winced.

“Had enough yet?” Terraform asked as she stood with a boot on his chest.

(Can’t call it. The Doc wanted a distraction and I don’t think I’ve given enough of one yet.) He grimaced, letting his head fall back as he took a look around the museum room before taking note of several things.

“You know… for a hero… you are causing a lot of property damage.” He realized, not entirely surprised given how he knew Deviant fights went but, “Honestly, thought I’d be the one doing that.”

“The museum is insured for this kind of thing, and I haven’t broken anything that can’t be repaired or replaced within an hour. The current property damage is still within acceptable budgetary ranges given how you again put a knife to my friend’s throat.” Terraform argued as she dug her heel in, worsening his still healing ribs.

“You heroes always have an excuse don’t you…” He growled, feeling really sick of getting his ass kicked.

The heroine gave him a curious frown of her own. “What’s that supposed to-”

He grabbed onto the ink flow to break free of Terraform’s pin and reappear right in front of her staggering form, allowing him to deliver a knee straight to her face before falling back to the ground.

“Damn it, nearly broke my nose.” The heroine told him, palm to her face as she glared at him.

“Yeah, and you broke at least three ribs.” He scoffed, kind of disappointed that he didn’t break her nose.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Hey, uh, isn’t this getting a bit intense.” A voice cut in.

Both he and Terraform blinked before glancing towards Power Flight floating off to the side, the other heroine having been forgotten by both of them as an actual participant of this little conflict.

“He put a knife to your throat!” Terraform (boringly) reiterated for the umpteenth time.

“Yeah, and I’m bulletproof.” The mediating heroine pointed out before glancing his way. “You did know I was bulletproof, right?”

“Does anyone in town not?” He asked, not admitting that while he knew that Power Flight was a Bruiser he had no idea if his Fishy Friend knew when he pulled that knife. (Actually, might need to talk to him about doing that kind of thing.)

“See, no harm no foul.” Power Flight nodded hands on her hips. “Now then, I think it’s time for both of you to deescalate a bit if you’ve gotten to the point of breaking parts of each other.”

Terraform inhaled before exhaling with a pained look. “You’re right.”

Power Flight gave him an expectant look.

“What?” He frowned in confusion.

“Don’t you think this fight is going a bit far?” Power Flight pressed with a tense expression as the wind began to once more swirl around Terraform.

“Uh, honestly, this is how half my interactions with girls go.” He admitted, rolling out his shoulder. “The women in this city are disturbingly violent. Like, in the last month alone I’ve had a woman cave my skull in, another decapitate me if not for the Guild’s weird powers, and another drag me to a fight club to fight me in a ‘socially acceptable’ place. Whatever that means.”

Both heroines just stared at him for a moment with different (but equally amusing) looks.

He snapped his fingers, deciding to rub some salt in the wound. “Oh, and you saw Terra here choke me with her whip after you tried to knock me out, before breaking several ribs.”

Terraform grimaced as Power Flight gave him a pitying look. “Are… are you okay?”

“Eh, I’ve learned to heal fast.” He shrugged as he remembered. “My doctor showed me how when he broke my hands.”

He knew he shouldn’t be mentioning the Malice Doc, but given how he intended to break away at some point. (Might as well throw out a few hints before they’re really paying attention to me. Probably won’t do much, but might do something.)

(Just got to be careful when you’re playing both sides, otherwise you’ll have enemies on both.) His inner reason warned.

While he had that thought, Terraform narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re messing with us.”

He pinched his fingers together. “Little bit.”

Power Flight clapped, giving him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Look, you don’t seem like that bad of a guy so can we just talk this out?”

(Well, since that will let me stall this whole thing for a bit,) “Sure why not!” He grinned at his mark.

“Alright, then let’s start with why you’re doing all of this?” Power Flight suggested.

“Because.” He answered with a serious nod.

Power Flight rolled her eyes, already knowing where this was going, “Because of?”

“Mild psychosis mixed with a slightly less mild sociopathic streak, that when combined with a love of attention induced by frequent childhood bullying and case of disney’s dead parent syndrome resulting in a series of logically really bad decisions that I don’t actually regret even if the consequences are making things a bit more complicated.” He explained, before assuring her that. “In the fun way mind you.”

“Oh…” Power Flight blinked, clearly having not known where the conversation was going. “That’s… self-aware…”

“He’s messing with you again.” Terraform pointed out, sounding done with his garbage. (Which will hopefully make it easier to escape in a bit. Just have to lure her into a false sense of annoyance.)

(False?)

(I meant, con her into a sense of annoyance.) He mentally corrected himself as he once more pinched his fingers together and said, “Little bit.”

“Right…” Power Flight sighed while pinching the bridge of her nose. “Okay, since you like talking… why don’t you tell us what the plan was?”

“Come here and cause a bit of mischief.” He shrugged.

“You did all of this for the sake of mischief?” Terraform scoffed.

“And because it’s funny.” He added with a snap and a wink, before catching sight of a nearby exhibit and getting an idea. (I wish I could, but that would totally bite me in the ass later…)

(That is a terrible idea… You have my full permission to do it.)

(Screw it, I can't resist.)

“Felt like it was the kind of thing to do my dear ol’ grandpappy proud.” He lied to the girls as he put a hand over his heart and started to wander a bit, something that immediately set them both on edge. “I mean, someone has to keep the show going or else everyone else will think it’s over, and trust me when I tell you it isn’t.”

“What show is that?” Power Flight asked, her eyes glowing faintly as they narrowed at him, and at the same time he felt something prickling along the edge of his mind, feeding into his own Madness.

(Naughty, naughty.)

He let out what he knew was a deranged giggle before putting something properly showy into his now exaggerated stride.

“A legacy immortal, a tale of liberation, the unending story of an unstoppable legend.” He elaborated, hyping things up as he began to twist the world around him with his Toon Field, hoping it wouldn’t ruin the moment he was going for.

“What legend is that?” Terraform frowned, clearly understanding that he was working another angle.

He kicked up a fallen chair that had been cast aside from the Last Call exhibit before spinning on his heel and crossing one leg over the other as he took a seat the moment the chair hit the ground.

Behind him stood the old boss’s exhibit, the banner falling on one side so that it would float through the air behind both him and the old boss’s mannequin. And while he couldn’t see it, he knew that for just a moment both heroines saw the old boss standing behind him.

“Which one do you think?”