Second Heist- The Madcap Museum (Pt. 4): A Show For The History Books Begins
--- Joshua Durand ---
“Why hello there!” He smiled at his guests as he took a theatrical bow. “So glad the two of you could volunteer for today's show!”
“Great, he's a show boat…” A tanned teenage girl sighed, her blue and white costume making it apparent who she was when combined with the large gourd on her lower back. (Terraform, the leader of the Jr. Heroes… Elemental manipulation and martial arts.)
“Come on, those are the fun ones.” A blonde girl laughed, floating a few feet off the ground in what looked like a cheerleader uniform. (Power Flight… Flight, super strength and durability…)
“It also means he won’t be coming quietly.” Terraform reminded her compatriot.
“You’re both correct!” He helpfully informed the pair as he felt a number of cameras and eyes shifting to him. “I’m as fun as they come… and I’ve got a terminal case of loudmouth, sadly can’t shut up to save my life…” He gave a put upon sigh. “The doc informs me there’s no cure and that I’ll sadly die laughing…”
“There are worse ways to go.” Power Flight grinned, apparently a fan of banter. (Making her a fantastic guest for the show!)
“You’re not wrong.” He nodded, thoughtfully running a hand over his neck as he remembered his fight with TPK. “Trust me when I say getting decapitated is a pain in the neck.”
Power Flight let out a snort. “Trying a bit hard for that one.”
“Not as hard as her abs.” He argued, snapping his fingers as he pointed at Terraform.
“T-true.” His guest star giggled, even as her compatriot glared at them.
“Right, let’s get this over with.” Terraform groaned, stepping forward. “Look you haven’t done anything too extreme, so I’ll make the token offer that I know you’ll refuse, of turning yourself in for leniency.”
He “Hmm…”ed while rubbing his chin, before inquiring, “How much is leniency worth exactly? I mean I am all for bribes and payments of varying qualities for services rendered and goods plundered, but I’m not sure how leniency converts into moolah.”
“Welp, I tried.” Terraform said, sounding not at all troubled before throwing her hand forward and sending a water whip flying from her gourd.
“Oh my, whips? Didn’t think we had the same taste, Terra!” He admitted, flexing his wrist and meeting the heroine’s whip with his own as he brought forth his ink weapon. “Though I should warn, I prefer giving to receiving!”
He threw his own hand forward, sending the ink whip out in an attempt to pull the heroine towards him, only to have her avoid his whip and cut it as she converted her own into a blade of water. (Okay, so she uses the water the same way I use my ink. Obvious in hindsight.)
More on instinct than actual skill he triggered Toon Time just as Power Flight’s fist was about to hit his skull, the heroine not hesitating for a second to back up her leader’s previous attack.
With time -or at least his perception twisting into his favor- he quickly grabbed Power Flight’s wrist before spinning with the momentum of her punch so that the pair did a twirl that left them standing face to face as he loomed over the heroine.
His eyes narrowed as he noticed a faint flush on her stunned face… and if he didn’t know better he’d swear the Killjoy’s mannequin was giving him a thumbs up. (You know what to do kid.)
“Now, now…” He grinned, the heroine’s face flushing even further as he leaned into the accent of his toon persona. “Wait your turn, won’t you darlin’?”
There was a faint tingle in the back of his head and he gave the Flight’s nose a gentle push, nudging the floating heroine back as he leaned back himself allowing both of them to avoid a water projectile Terraform had shot at the back of his head.
“My, my you’re both impatient aren’t you?” He chuckled, walking towards the watery heroine as he moved away before the distracted Power Flight could think to attack him again. (Need to draw this out, I’m supposed to be a distraction for whatever the Doc is cooking up…)
The devil on his shoulder laughed. (Let’s give these girls one hell of a show shall we?)
(Let’s.)
“You know, you two really are so very forward, not even giving me your names before one of you brings out the whips and the other tries to cop a feel.” He gave a disappointed shake of his head before giving Terraform a devilish grin. “What are they teaching you girls these days?”
Terraform narrowed her eyes at him as she held one hand near her guard, the fingers moving in a way that just screamed (voodoo boy magic). “They’re teaching us that creeps like you need to be taken down hard.”
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“Oh, a creep, me?” He scoffed, tilting his body out of the way of another water projectile, before repeating the action three more times as he once more pulled out his toon time to keep from breaking his stride as he moved towards the heroine. “Darlin’ you and your friend are the ones trying to assault me… Not that I’m complaining about two beautiful women getting handsy.” He winked.
Instead of blushing Terraform growled before reaching out with both hands and pulling them to her chest with a grasping motion.
“Now, now be a good girl and use your wor-” A wave of water slammed into him from behind cutting his words off as he was dragged with the wave through the recreation of Bones’ Last Call before slamming into the bar’s counter.
“Would you look at that I found a cure for your loud mouth, guess it isn’t terminal.” Terraform told him as she made her way over to where he lay waiting for his healing factor to return his ability to get up under his own power, the heroine’s every step causing more of the water she’d unleashed to begin to rise behind her.
Of course, between his aching back and the weight of his soaked clothes he didn’t really notice this, far more preoccupied with resisting the urge to, to-
A flood of water erupted from his mouth, far more than any normal person could have swallowed, as well as far more than he actually had. An uncomfortable sensation that wasn’t helped in the slightest as something forced itself out of his mouth and he found himself spitting out a fish. (Da fuq?)
Both he and Terraform stared at the flopping black and white fish as Power Flight flew over, her eyes on the same. “Uh… Terra, do you… do you keep fish in your tank thing?”
“No…” The watery heroine denied with a mix of concern and confusion.
(Okay, kid, flirting ain’t working with this one, time to change tactics before that act gets old.) His common sense informed him. (Quick do, something funny!)
In a fit of desperation to keep the show going he lunged for the fish- “Protect me, fishy friend!” -before quickly slapping it across Terraform’s face.
All three of them froze. Terraform and Powerflight because of his action and him because the fish turned to him with a tearful look of betrayal, cartoonish tears pouring from its eyes.
“Sorry…” He winced before trying to make it up to the little toon by giving it some of his ink -which he was pretty sure was alcohol to them- and telling it to, “Swim free fishy friend!”
Terraform and Power Flight couldn’t help but watch as he threw the fish into the former’s floating flood where the fish happily swam through the water.
“Uh, Terra… what’s the… what’s the protocol on this one?” Power Flight asked, clearly not sure what she was supposed to do.
The other heroine visibly inhaled before exhaling as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Let’s, let’s just… catch this guy… and be done with this nonsense.”
He nodded -having slipped on his groucho marx glasses while the pair was staring at the fish- before pointing to the side. “That plan makes a lot of sense, he went that way girls.”
Both girls stared at him with confused expressions. “You… you don’t actually expect that to work do you?”
He blinked. “Expect what to work?”
Terraform inhaled once more before splitting off half of her water and wrapping it around his throat as she knocked the glasses off. “Do you think we’re idiots?”
“No…” He answered the heroine as he felt the whip around his throat tighten enough to restrain him, but not enough to actually hurt him. “Just…”
“Just what?” Terraform glared, as Power Flight watched on with a touch of concern. “You do know that we’ve been doing this for years don’t you?”
He struggled against the whip around his neck, one hand pulling it back as he met the heroine’s eyes and told her to “Just… quit talking and cho-”
The whip tightened as Terraform growled. “So help me if you make that joke I will choke you until you pass out.”
He couldn’t help the “Kinky.” that slipped out, even as he fell to his knees.
At the same time Power Flight interrupted them saying, “Isn’t that a bit much?”
Terraform rolled her eyes, before looking at the other heroine. “The ‘choke me mommy’ jokes are like the flying skirt and cheerleader jokes with you. Everyone makes them.”
“I wear shorts underneath.” Power Flight mumbled with clear frustration, as she glanced to the side not noticing the flick of his lower hand.
“Good to know.” He assured the flying heroine, before turning to the one choking him. “But no. I wasn’t going to make that joke.” He blatantly lied before pointing behind the pair. “I was going to say ‘just quit talking and check behind you’.”
Once more Terraform pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Check behind me. You really do think I’m an-”
The heroine’s words were interrupted as he pulled his arm back and used his ink pull to slam one of the bar’s chairs into her back, shattering her concentration causing her to release the grip on his throat.
“Terra!” Power Flight yelled before turning to him with a glare. “I’m going to-gah!”
The other heroine’s words were interrupted as his fishy friend leapt out of the falling water and slammed into her face with a knife in hand.
“Flight!” Terraform cried as she picked herself up and found her friend trying to hold off a slippery fish with a knife.
“You know, you really should’ve noticed that his sudden appearance was kind of Fishy.” He taunted, covering up the fact that Fishy Friend was absolutely another accidental dream he’d made by hapchance. (Not that I’m regretting it right now.)
Terra’s eyes shot to him with a look of hate as he held her at knife point with an ink blade of his own.
He felt cool warmth spread through the air as it began to gather and pick up speed, sending his danger sense into overdrive as the air seemed to grow heavier. (Ah, shit. She’s getting serious.)
“That’s enough!” The elemental heroine yelled as she twisted her arms, moving the air around them with enough force to make him skid backwards as she sent Fishy Friend flying from Power Flight.
As she stood up Terraforms now glowing blue eyes never left his, even as the elements wrapped around her ready to do her bidding and rip him limb from limb if her murderous glare was anything to go off of.
Knowing that an asskicking was imminent on his part, he said the only thing that came to mind, “Anyone ever tell you, you’re kind of breathtaking when you’re angry?”