"Sweetie, do you like fire?"

That was an odd question, but perhaps it was my fault; I was literally dazed by the fireplace, admiring its flame moving around as it warmed my face. I barely nodded. "Hmm-hm."

My mother sat behind me, wrapping me in her arms, warmer than the fire. "Even in front of the fire, your hands are cold."

I let her hands squeeze mine as I kept my focus on the flame. "It's fine. I'm not cold."

"Why are you sitting so close to it, then?" she asked, sounding amused.

"I simply like it… I wonder what a bigger fire would look like. Much bigger than this. It's comfortable… It's cozy."

She chuckled. "You know? Sometimes, when I'm about to sleep, I imagine gentle little flames, like those of a candle, enveloping me. It's a form of meditation; it's relaxing, and extremely helpful."

"So, you also like fire?"

"Of course I do, sweetie. Many do, some more than others. Though it might seem the same, the shapes, the warmth, can differ. Each fire is unique in its own way."

"Hmm?" I suddenly blinked, several times, at her sentence. "I don't understand. Fire is just fire, no?"

Once more, she softly chuckled, and rested her chin over my head. "Perhaps, one day you shall."

…

I gasped. I gasped so hard that my lungs filled with a burning sensation.

"W-" I choked on blood, again, spluttering it out in thick, wet coughs until I could finally breathe freely. "Huh...?"

My body shivered. Yet, I pushed myself from the blood-stained ground, most of it now dry; all my clothes and my skin stained with it. My own blood...

"I..."

My mind was sluggish; nothing new. Slowly, everything began to resurface, and my eyes caught more information. The sun was high in the sky, and my body was still somewhat burning with white fire. I clutched my head, my fingers tangling in my fringe almost poking my eyes.

"She..."

A giggle ran free. A hysterical one. My breath quickened as I shook my head, trying in vain to push the fragmented memories away. But no matter how hard I tried, they refused to leave.

"She killed me..."

She killed me.

"My mother killed me!"

My mother's soul killed me.

"She killed me..."

In the most brutal way.

"Ah... Ha! Haha! Hahaha!"

As tears spilled down my cheeks, mingling with the blood-soaked earth, my eyes caught a glimpse of a codex through the blur, interrupting my momentary breakdown. A faint, undulating white fire emanated from it, reaching out to the flames surrounding my body.

"Huh... what's this...?"

I set my head free from my grasp, blinking through the tears to focus on the scene before me. The fire didn't burn, nor was it consuming me. To tell the truth, it did nothing... It just stood there, around my body, like an...

"Aura?"

I tilted my head, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Is this... the connection between codex and libromancer? It looks like some sort of aura..."

I slowly pushed myself to my feet, my legs were shaking as I stood. Pain shot through my skull, and I flinched.

"Ugh..."

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to steady myself, taking a deep breath, doing my best not to think about the fact that my own mother's soul had killed me. Then, calmly, I reopened my eyes.

"But no... this is not even my codex..."

I slowly approached the codex on the ground, its white cover faintly familiar. With trembling fingers, I grabbed it, and taking my time, I flipped it open. The light almost blinded me.

"Ow..."

Fluttering my eyes open and squinting, I gradually got used to the light, which thankfully dimmed to a manageable glow itself, making it look like a flame enveloping the codex

"Huh...? But these are... my spells..."

My hands trembled as I continued. Written on the codex were: my first spell, then my second, my third, my fourth, my fifth, and my sixth... and seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth...

"W-...what is this...?"

I kept turning page after page, nothing but spells, spells and more spells on and on...

"No… no, no, no, no."

Nothing but nervous giggles escaped me.

"No… How do I turn back? No... This is not my codex. This can't be my codex."

The endless barrage of spells continued to flash before my eyes. There was no end to them.

"What is this... bullshit...?"

I buried my face within the pages. Nothing but confusion and desperation enveloped me. Yet, clearing the fog right now... promised nothing but crushing misery.

"This is not my codex. It can't be…"

A hollow laugh escaped me as I collapsed to my knees once again.

"Felinchant."

And as expected from the spell, my entire body became enshrouded in a shimmering aura of... dim white light. It was not even purple anymore.

"It is..."

Tears streamed down my face as my laughter spiraled out of control.

"This is... wrong."

I brought my gaze to the sky.

"What is this bullshit?!"

This is not what I wanted.

"Ha! Haha... This is all wrong!"

I made the wrong call.

"What were you...?" I shouted. "What were your goals...?! What purpose did you even have in store for me?!"

The white cover...

"This was your codex, mom, wasn't it? How?! And why?!"

As my rage increased, so did the aura around me.

"And this..."

I redirected my full attention to it.

"This aura... this is... mana, isn't it? My own mana?! Is it even mine...?"

So this was what Crimson saw every time around me? This aura...

"And now I can even control it..." I murmured as I let the white codex wobble before me. "Ha-ha! This is so wrong! None of this is right!"

I struggled to my feet.

"I... I thought you loved me!"

The throbbing in my head...

"You loved me, right? Then why?!"

The hole in my chest...

"Or did you hate me... and kept it secret like all of this...?"

The ringing in my ears...

"Did I disgust you so much to the point of ending your own life and reserving me this parting gift? What have I even done... to deserve this treatment from you?"

The knot in my stomach...

"Why would you take away even that?!"

The reality of the situation...

"What was the meaning... of everything I've done so far?"

Everything... unbearably suffocating...

"Why..." I sobbed. "This is cheating... Why did you treat me this way...?"

I sniffed, my body felt weak, my heart shattered beyond repair.

"Nothing... has a purpose anymore..."

And so... I closed my eyes...

... Why couldn't the wind sweep me away...? Why did my exhausted body keep on living...? Just what was the point of dying, again and again...? Every time I get close to an answer, more questions emerge.

I'm tired of it...

It pissed me off. Yes, I recognize my deaths haven't even been many, but I'm pretty confident most people wouldn't get past the first one. Yet, it was all for naught...

"Snowflake!"

Snowflake...? There's only a person who calls me that way...

"Huh...?" I slowly opened my eyes, turning towards the source of the voice.

Her figure was unmistakable, her striking red recognizable from a city away entirely. Her wide eyes were perplexed; worried, perhaps, looking at me from the distance, seemingly undecided whether to approach or not. On her back: a backpack.

And, I could see it on her as well... an aura. Shimmering faintly, coming from her codex, connecting to her, and to her orb. A red aura. Her aura...

"Ah... Now I'm even hallucinating!"

"What?" she breathed, her expression becoming utterly confused as she took a cautious step closer.

"My crazy girlfriend is here!" I exclaimed, my voice uneven while my arms flourished dramatically to clutch my hair. "Have the days without food and rest finally caught up with me? Hahaha! Has my dead mother cast another curse on me? Another one of her jokes? Or are the Deities themselves playing with me now?"

"What? What are you saying, Snowflake? I'm here, I'm real," she said, taking another step forward, her hand reaching out towards me. "See? I'm here..."

I glanced at her hand upon my shoulder; it was warm. A warmth I hadn't felt in a long time. I blinked, lifting my gaze to meet hers. "You're... here. You're really here..."

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But this changes nothing...

She faintly nodded, her smile gradually softening. "I'm here, Snowflake. But... you, your… What happened to you?"

I couldn't respond.

"You're pale..." she stammered. "And stained with blood. And your clothes are... torn, full of holes... Are you alright?"

"I'm..." not. How could I be? How could she even expect me to be?! My world shattered right before my eyes, and I could do nothing about it… "I'm fine..."

She faintly shook her head while her fingers brushed my cheek. "You're not, Snowflake."

Stop it...

"Why are you here?" I murmured. "You shouldn't be here..."

Her hand cupped my cheek, and I leaned completely into its warmth. That was more than enough; with such a simple gesture my eyes threatened to spill over, defying my will.

"I'm here for you," she softly replied.

Don't give me love now...

"I don't want you to be here, Crimson..."

I don't deserve any of it...

"You're a bad liar, Snowflake," she countered, leaning in. "You're about to cry..."

Step back...

"So what? You're a sadist, you must be enjoying it..."

She shook her head. "N-no… not like this, Snowflake... Not when it's your tears, not when it's out of sadness."

"You're not listening to me..." I murmured. "Go away..."

"Why do you want me to go away, then?" she softly asked.

I couldn't bring myself to look in her eyes anymore, so I dropped my eyes to the ground. "Because... because nothing matters anymore..."

"What do you mean?"

"You can see it too, can't you?" I pointed out, hovering my codex to my side, glancing at it. "My... aura. My... new codex."

"It... changed color?" she murmured, admiring it.

I nodded.

"That's... interesting," she said, her tone light, almost dismissive.

"Huh...?" I blinked at that reaction. "That's... all you have to say?"

"Hm? What do you want me to say?"

"What… do you mean, Crimson? You… you're joking, right?"

She gave me the answer in the form of perplexed eyes, which I returned equally.

"Don't... don't you realize how wrong that is?" I remarked, my voice trembling as much as my body. "I've... I've cheated, Crimson. I'm nothing but a cheater… My mother killed me, and- and now it's like this."

"Your... mother killed you?" she asked, appearing confused.

As my codex flipped open, its blinding light radiated.

"That's..." Crimson shielded her eyes with her hand. Once used to the light, a grin spread across her face. "That's beautiful!"

"Huh...?"

Her voice raised, her expression lit up. "Such beautiful mana, Snowflake!" she exclaimed, eagerly admiring me. "I was so right about you! Never have I seen such a unique mana!"

"What...?" I breathed. "What... are you talking about, Crimson? Can't you see what I've become? I'm... I'm nothing but a monster! A- haha! An experiment! This sounds like one of her stupid scenarios of our 'Let's suppose' game! My mother killed me and, and... and turned me into this! Nothing of this is mine!"

Crimson's smile turned slightly confused. "I'm sorry but... I don't understand what you mean," she said, trying to sound comforting.

"Of course you don't understand!" I yelled at her. "You don't have a dead mother who killed you! And why do you look so happy to see me after seeing this?! You should hate me!"

"Why would I hate you?" she asked with wide eyes.

I blinked. "Can't you see?!"

She flinched at my high volume. "Snowflake, I-"

"Did you come here just to make my situation worse?!" I shouted once more in annoyance, cutting her off whatever she was about to say. "I'm everything you hate! I'm worse than Elizabeth! None of these spells are mine, Crimson! I'm a cheater!"

"Don't compare yourself to such an incompetent, Snowflake," she replied, her expression dead serious. "I've already told you, haven't I? Imagine what you could do if you possessed some spells. It took me months to learn how to control my codex just as you showed me. You have talent, Snowflake! You deserve to have spells! Elizabeth is nothing compared to you. Besides…" She stepped closer, her hand reaching for my cheek. "You're mine, Snowflake. My beautiful fiancée, who never stops surprising me. I haven't seen you in so long, and look at you now… I've missed you so much. You're even cuter than I remembered, and this mana... it only makes you more fascinating."

I stared at her, feeling the ground slip away from beneath my feet. "What... are you... talking about?" I wobbled. "This can't be real... None of this is... You must be fucking with me right now..."

She scoffed. "I'm not. Though, the idea doesn't seem bad, you know? It's been a while since we spent some time together, hasn't it?"

Why did she have to be like this...? The more I talked to her, the more I could feel the will to continue the conversation rapidly leaving my body. "Did... did you come here just for my body...?" I murmured, trying to keep my rising anger in check. "Is that why you're here? Does nothing else matter to you?"

"As I said, I've come here for you, Snowflake," she replied softly. "For you, and nothing else. I don't know what you mean by saying that your mother killed you, but I suppose a spell or a ritual did this to your codex. I'm here to listen if you want to."

"And you don't see anything wrong with that?"

Her lips parted slightly before answering. "You mean... about the spell or ritual?"

I nodded.

She shook her head. "I don't, Snowflake."

I could do nothing but hold my head in my hands. "How can you be so blind...?" I breathed, feeling my lungs depleted of any oxygen. "Don't you really realize what I am, Crimson? Everything I've ever wanted, everything I've aimed to achieve... has been handed to me like it's... nothing. I didn't earn this power. I'm nothing but a thief, an experiment. I followed her lead, her quest, I've gazed into the Abyss... and this is the result. She... haha! She used me!" I exclaimed, bitter giggles slipping out through the rage. "She used me! She played with me! I thought she loved me! She knew how much I admired her strength! How much I loved her! How much I wanted to be like her! And now... now she's taken away all those possibilities. She spoiled me too much! This is not what I wanted!"

"I'm sorry you feel this way," Crimson replied to my tantrum, letting her expression soften. "However, you may not be seeing this from the right angle."

"What angle is there to see, Crimson?!" I hissed, clenching my fists. "What good is there in having everything handed to you on a silver platter? Where's the fun in that? Where's the joy?! Right now, I'm even stronger than you!" I raised my hand in exasperation. "I can see that! I have way more spells!"

"Think of the opportunities this opens for us!"

"What opp-?! Wh- wha-"

My head! What the fuck is she talking about?!

"You're not looking hard enough at the bright side," she added.

Breathe, Argenta, breathe! Just breathe! Don't kill her. Don't kill her. Stay calm.

She was doing nothing but fueling the fire burning within me. In contrast, the months spent without her felt peaceful.

"I'm certain now; you came here just to make my situation worse."

"I've already told you; I'm here for you," she continued softly. "I'm worried for you... You're pale, and clearly tired. Why don't we go somewhere nice? We can talk about this later."

"If you want to go, then go," I spat. "I'm not following you."

"I'm not leaving you."

I had already turned to leave when she grabbed me by the arm. I promptly pulled away from her grasp. "Leave, Crimson."

She stepped closer, as if daring me. "I'm not following your orders," she provoked with a smirk.

"I'm not playing your stupid games," I retorted, full of rage. "Disappear from my sight."

"Make me, then," she pressed with the same grin.

I regarded her like she was my worst enemy, my wrath was now dangerously boiling over. As a warning, I released mana from my codex, enveloping the area around me; it was so overwhelming the tree behind me withered and died as if an icy blizzard had passed by.

"Can't you see the monster I have become?" I said, my voice now shaking as my arms went out to my sides. "Does love blind you to that point?! Admit it! Look at me!" I then shouted. "And tell me... what do you see?"

Her eyes lit up with excitement before softening, meeting my gaze with a fond smile. "All I see... is my beautiful, rightfully ridiculously powerful and sexy girlfriend."

This girl and her stupid teasing...

"You..." I clenched my fist so hard that they hurt, while my teeth threatened to shatter with the pressure. "You, you, you... YOU!"

I hadn't realized I had drawn my dagger until it was slashing towards her. She raised her arms in response.

"Why do you have to be like this?!" I shouted, my dagger whistling through the air.

"Why can't you just admit it?!" I continued, the weapon slicing some more, allowing the blade to carve shallow lines across her skin.

"Is it that hard for you to accept reality when it's spat right in your stupid face?!" I pressed further, the blade greeting her arms once again.

"Do you really think I'm going to act blind as you do for some cheap flattery?!" Blood splattered across my hand, staining it red.

"Or do you get some sick joy out of this?!"

Yet, despite my questions, I've received nothing but silence in response.

"AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?!"

"You're not," she finally replied, lowering her arms as blood dripped, meeting my gaze. "You're not, Snowflake."

"Then, I am not sure I heard you correctly," I challenged, my grip tight on the dagger. "So, I'm asking you to repeat your previous statement."

She displayed a grin. "It doesn't matter what you do, Snowflake. My answer to your question... remains the same," she then murmured. "What I see is just my beautiful girlfriend. A little pissed, perhaps... but it's you, regardless."

At that point, my glare could've sent chills to my demon. But since it would appear that all my efforts with her had proved fruitless, I took a deep breath... "If words don't reach you... then something else shall..."

"Snowflake..."

"Bianca."