Chapter Twenty-Four - Dwarven Dame

"Orbital, Belt," the dwarven woman said. Her voice was a low growl, utterly devoid of any amusement. She scanned me up and down, but soon her gaze turned towards the mantis sisters at the back of our little group. She barely paid Alex any mind.

"Captain Sander," Orbital and Belt said at the same time. They saluted, fists thumping against their chest.

"Care to explain?" she asked. It didn't feel like a question, however.

Belt swallowed. "Ma'am, we found these, uh, interlopers deeper in the tunnels. Eastern end, near our patrol route. The undead claims to want to talk, to you, ma'am."

"Does it?" the captain asked. "And the mantises? Are you two often in the habit of bringing trouble all the way to our front door?"

"No ma'am!" Belt said. It wasn't just the captain that was making him nervous, I imagined. The gathering troops behind her helped. There were still not that many dwarves here. My Detect Animal was on its last whisps, but I could feel that there were at least two dozen dwarves in the fortress. With the captain and the few standing outside that made for about thirty-five to forty dwarven men and women total.

Not exactly an impressively large force, but I supposed it might be enough, with the tunnels being relatively narrow and short, a single dwarf with a tower shield and a short spear could hold off someone several levels higher than they were for a few minutes. The dwarves I could see out here were also armed with wind-up crossbows, and they looked quite sturdy. Their armour, also, seemed pretty strong.

"Captain Sander," I said. "Might I introduce myself?"

"No," she said.

"Well, I shall do so anyway," I replied easily. "My name is Harold, these are my temporary travelling companions. Alex, my butler-slash-maid, Miss Cinder of the Ashen Forest sect, Rem, a butler-in-training, and her erstwhile sister, Mem."

The captain didn't seem amused. "We don't suffer the undead to live."

"Oh-hoh! You do know that that is, in fact, one of the primary qualifications to be an undead, do you not?"

"Don't play word games with me, skeleton."

"Now, now," I said with a small, dismissive wave. "We mean you no harm. In fact, we mean quite the opposite. We are here to help."

"Were you sent by the Mantis Queen?" she asked.

"They weren't, Captain," Belt said quickly. "They say they're here to fight her."

"There are easier ways to kill yourself," the captain said. "My patience is drawing to a middle, undead."

"It's Harold."

"Undead," the captain repeated.

I held back a sigh. That terrible stigma against the unliving was rearing its ugly head and biting my bony posterior once more. It was truly frustrating to have someone judge me for my lack of life as opposed to my knowledge or at least my capabilities as a mage. Then again, I had let my reputation rust.

"Captain," Cinder said as she stepped up and swept into a bow. "As Harold said, my name is Cinder, I'm a cultivator of the Ashen Forest sect. We are no allies of yours, but our foes have been the same for decades and decades and decades. If nothing else, I beg that you at least listen to what I have to say."

That finally got to the captain. She uncrossed her arms and shifted her posture a little. "Go on," she said. "But make it short."

"Like yourself?" I asked.

She shot me a rather powerful glare at that, so I bit my metaphorical tongue and held by my customary chuckling.

"Captain Sander," Cinder continued, she sounded like she had something caught in her throat. No doubt laughter at the quality of my humour, I was certain. "We have travelled here to test ourselves against the Mantis Queen. Harold is a known killer of gods."

The captain scoffed. "You're travelling to kill the Mantis Queen, with two mantises in your party?"

"Does this idiot snack think that any of us would care if our mother dies?" Rem asked in a low hiss.

"Mem would care if Mom died," Mem said. "A little."

"As outlandish as it may seem to you, captain, it's nonetheless true," I said. "Though while I do intend to meet the Mantis Queen, and quite possibly that meeting will end in bloodshed--not mine, of course, seeing as I have none to shed--I still expect that this might be a fantastic opportunity for both of us."

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"What do you mean?" the captain asked.

"What I'm trying to get to," I said. "Is that I was thinking of perhaps asking for a reward consummate with the amount of work I'll be accomplishing."

"You want us to pay you to do something you're going to do anyway?" the captain asked.

"I suppose that that does seem like a rather terrible bargaining position. However, what I ask for in return is simply that your people consider an alliance of sorts. My... apprentice, is currently learning about politics. She could use some education with forming alliances, handling trade agreements, and dealing with multiple races."

The Captain recrossed her arms. "I'm not a businesswoman, I'm a soldier. But even I see that giving you something for what you're intending to do already is foolish."

"Captain Sander," I said carefully, being certain to enunciate everything just-so. "There is nothing you have that I cannot take."

The captain stood a little taller at that, and I heard hands tightening on the grips of crossbows and the hafts of axes and hammers.

"That being said," I continued. "Wouldn't it be much better for all involved if we came away from this as friends?"

She worked her jaw. "I suppose you'll be wanting access to the routes leading to the Queen?"

"That would be appreciated, yes," I said.

She nodded. "There are traps all along those routes. Switchbacks, dead ends, fake tunnels designed to collapse. Getting there safely, without foreknowledge, could take anyone a while. You're going to need a guide. Besides, I won't trust your word that the queen is dead, even if you brought me her ugly head."

"What do you propose, then?" I asked.

"Belt, Orbital," the Captain said.

I could tell that the two younger dwarves were very uncomfortable with where this was going.

"Ma'am, we're not fit for that kind of job," Belt said.

"Yeah," Orbital agreed gruffly. "Best to send an expert in, like Palm, or Sheet."

"Oi, piss off," a dwarf behind the captain said.

The captain nodded along. "Yes, I like this idea. Sir undead, we'll let you pass onto the side of the fortress with the Mantis Queen. Return with proof of her demise, and we'll see about this so-called alliance of yours."

I considered it for a moment. This was definitely me taking a deal that was bad in just about every way that a deal could be bad. Nonetheless the opportunity to start an alliance with the dwarves was too tempting to pass up.

The Mantis Queen was enough of a threat that handling her should earn me some goodwill, despite the company I kept and the fact that I was undead.

"Very well, then," I said amicably. No point in burning bridges. Not that there were any down here. "Let's be on our way. Misters Sander and Sander, please lead the way."

Belt and Orbital both looked like I'd just asked them to step up to the gallows. Meanwhile, the captain stepped to the side, as did her troops. Those listening within the fortress took the cue and opened the large door at the rear, then another, second doorway by the front.

We were free to cross through the fortress. As we did, I noted that the interior between the entrance and exit was merely a long tunnel, walled by large, carefully carved stones. There were slits in the walls, no doubt for firing at anything caught in the middle, and several metal plates fitted over holes in the ceiling. I imagined that those could be lifted, perhaps to drop something uncomfortable onto the heads of any invaders. The actual entrances into the fort were to either side, small, narrow doors that even the dwarves had to duck into.

It was some impressively tricky work that went into this fortress. "Was this place built before the arrival of the Mantis queen?" I asked.

Belt glanced back, he seemed a little despondent. "This outpost? No, this was built recently? Some fifty or so years ago."

"Built in a hurry, too," Orbital added glumly.

I supposed that the dwarves had wanted to be certain that the mantises could only venture so deep into their territory. If they were clever and collapsed a few tunnels, it was entirely possible to create chokepoints like these across their territory.

How interesting! If nothing else, this trip was an opportunity to observe some interesting cultural shifts in the face of adversity!

***