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Dead Tired
Chapter Twelve - Dusty Dimension

Chapter Twelve - Dusty Dimension

Chapter Twelve - Dusty Dimension

I finished the seventy-sixth book in the series I'd started the night before just as the sun rose over the walls of the city.

I tucked the book away, then stood while placing bony hands on my hips to stretch out my spine. Once, when I had flesh over my bones, I'd been very careful about my posture. Sitting straight and keeping my back in good working order.

Unsurprisingly, undeath had put an end to back pain for me, and from then on I had to make a conscious effort not to allow myself to slouch.

"Papa is ready for the day?" Alex asked as they stepped up. Alex had been standing at attention a few paces away from my reading chair all night, as a maid should. "Do you want me to draw a bath? Prepare a change of clothes?"

"Hmm, yes, I think that would be acceptable," I said.

Alex left with a bob of the head, disappearing deeper into the suite. In the meantime, I reached into an inner pocket and pulled out a folded bundle of clothes, carefully wrapped in wax paper and tied with a neat bow. It was a little dusty, but the packet had been waiting in a pocket dimension for several millennia, so that was only to be expected.

I left it on my seat, trusting Alex to find it. It was a spare set of clothes. I had been wearing the same ones for... well, since I went to sleep, actually. The suit wasn't dirty, not with Alex always hovering around, but it was starting to wear a little.

Besides, perhaps I was due for a change of colours?

With the bath drawn up in no time at all, I slipped into the washroom and unclothed myself, then sank into the steaming-hot water. It felt nice to warm up my old bones a little. I found a scrubber with rough bristles on the end, and used it to rub out the grime and dust caught between my joints. Prestidigitation was good for a quick bit of spot cleaning, and Cleaning magic on its own wasn't to be underestimated, but there was something cathartic about a good scrub.

I exited the bath a short time later, after removing my skull and giving it a vigorous shake under the soapy water.

I made sure to tap out any water caught within.

Mortals often complained about having water in their ears after a swim, but that was nothing compared to having a skull filled with water. Alex approached with a nice fluffy--and pre-heated--towel and patted me down. Then it was time to get changed.

"Ah, it's nice to have a little change," I said as I did up my bowtie in front of a tall mirror.

"It suits you very well, Papa," Alex said with a hint of pride.

I paused. "Suits me? Ohohoho! Well done, Alex."

"Thank you," Alex said with a curtsy that I caught in the mirror.

The new suit was a pale brown, made of tweed, over a dark beige shirt, all paired with a maroon bow-tie.

It was a sharp contrast from my previous suit, which was brown tweed over a beige shirt with a red bowtie.

"Hmm, yes, I like the contrast of the maroon with the paler suit," I said as I twisted my neck left and right. "In any case, are we ready to go?"

Alex nodded. "Yes, Snazzy Daddy."

"Hmm, that might be too far. We're a pun family, not a rhyme family."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's all good," I said forgivingly. It was an understandable mistake to make. We all erred a little in imperfection. Impunfection? Hmm... no, best keep that one to myself, it was a little too forced. "So, any news for the day?" I asked.

The sun was fully up now, though it was still the early hours. The pavilion and the city beyond were just coming awake.

"I haven't had time to see about the daily news," Alex said. "But I can confirm that Mem is back. She's in the pavilion's jail cells below, along with Rob and Mug. Rem was tasked with cleaning the carriage before her bedtime. I don't think they'll have finished before now."

"That's fine. The practice won't hurt, and in any case, I suspect that we'll be travelling with the sect today."

Alex nodded along as I led us both out of the suite I was given and into the main parts of the pavilion. That's where I was intercepted by a bright-eyed Cinder. The night's rest at home seemed to have treated her well, and she'd taken the opportunity to freshen up and change into a cleaner dress herself. "Hello, Harold," she said.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Hello," I replied. "And good morning. Are we prepared to head out?"

"We are," she said. "Elder Frost and I will be leading you to the edge of the Ashen Lake, by the main sect holdings. I hope that keeping a cultivator's pace for the next part of the voyage is acceptable to you?"

"Certainly," I said. "Though I might want to take some time to grab samples from the local flora and fauna as we move."

"That can be done. I think we all prefer to travel while taking small breaks along the way," Cinder said. "Besides, part of the sect's duties lie in exterminating any threats close to Shitake City. We'd only be doing our work."

"Well said," I replied. "Ah, yes, I must enquire about Mem."

"Mem?" Cinder asked. "Is she well?"

"I imagine so, she's currently in your prison, or so Alex informs me."

"Ah," Cinder said with a slow nod. "That's... plausible. I'll have her retrieved. And the other mantises?"

"I don't care about them," I said. "Though I wonder what the usual procedure would be here?"

"They are... generally considered enemies of the sect which we can do nothing about. A threat and a pest, but one given the blessing of the Jade Throne on account of their affiliation with their godly mother. We suffer a number of losses whenever one strays into the city."

"I can imagine," I said. "Alex didn't paint the two they ran into last night as model citizens."

"Rob and Mug are... surprisingly, not the worst," Cinder said. "They're thieves, and occasionally murderers, but that's the extent of their crimes. They rarely fight any cultivators, and most citizens are used to surrendering some portion of their goods to the two. They'll even avoid mugging the same person twice. Civilians are advised to carry two pouches for their gold, one with lesser denomination coins. It also helps against the more normal type of pick-pocket."

"I see, I see," I replied. "Well, do with them as you please, it's not skin off my nose... which has none to begin with! Oh-hoh!"

Cinder chuckled along with me before she paused to confer with a member of the pavilion staff who was sent scurrying off to fetch Mem.

We gathered outside, where Cinder and I found seats in a small garden behind the main building of the pavilion. Alex darted back within to fetch what we'd need for the journey, and to find and awaken Rem.

I suspected that Mem would be getting an involuntary bath as well, if she was in any state other than perfectly clean.

"So, the lake today?" I asked.

"It's just far enough that we'll be arriving there within the day," Cinder said. "After that, we can cross the lake, possibly overnight if word travelled ahead rapidly enough."

"And beyond that, what's the plan?" I asked.

"There are mountains to cross beyond that. The Mantis Queen's lair is within those, along the southern end of the mountain ridge. If we make it to the foot of the mountains by tomorrow morning, then we can start to scale them. The Ashen Forest sect has long discovered ways into the mountain's cavern system, as well as..." Cinder hesitated. "Are you familiar with dwarves?"

"Stout little fellows? Fond of metalwork and tools? Yes."

"There are several clans living beneath the mountains, and more to the west where they have a fortress city which is frequently besieged by the Mantis queen. We have a... tentative alliance with some of these dwarves."

"I see," I said. "You wouldn't be the first cultivators to make friends with them," I said.

She blinked. "We wouldn't?"

"I met an architect near the ruins of Silvershire who had some dwarven friends as well. Ruolan, I believe?"

Cinder sat up. "Wait... Ruolan from the Abyssal Depths sect?"

"You know her?" I asked.

"We've been rivals for almost my entire life," Cinder said. "We both swore to kill each other... multiple times."

"Ah," I replied. "So you do know her. Small world, I suppose."

"You must tell me how you met," Cinder said. "So that she doesn't get ahead of me in some other way."

"Certainly. It all started as I was exploring an old haunt of mine, the city of Silvershire, which of course are all ruins now. I was also training the Limpet through the early stages of magic use," I began.

***