Chapter Forty-Six - Masterful Moment

I was eyeing the battlefield when I heard a familiar voice call out to me. "Master!"

Turning, I found myself bracing for an impact that never arrived as the Limpet charged my way. She managed to stop herself before colliding into me, fortunately. I did note that she was wearing sensible shoes beneath the hem of her skirt. "Ah, hello, Limpet," I said. "Fine morning, isn't it?"

Behind me was an army in rout. Or perhaps it would be safer to say that it was an army in rout-e to an early grave! I kept my chuckles bottled in for the moment as I took in the scene.

Our arrival seemed to have been quite well-timed. The little army pushing towards Yu Xiang was now caught between the walls of the city which they had failed to breach and the army that was still marching through the portal I'd left open behind them. A second, more discreet portal had allowed myself and a few death butlers, as well as Alex, access to the city's walls.

The cultivator army below was trying to rally to defend themselves, but there was little hope for them. Certainly, a well-armed and trained soldier could take on a number of undead all on their own, but their numerical advantage was squeezing tighter with every stomping undead boot that marched out of the portal.

In warfare, both traditional and wizardly, positioning was often one of the greatest determining factors in deciding who would make it home alive. In this case, I don't think they could have picked a worse position around here, unless they deliberately chose to fight in that swamp made from the refuse leaving Yu Xiang.

The cultivators below were trying to escape, abandoning their lower-levelled soldiers to their fates.

Trying being the operative term there, because Sir Cophagus' fellow Death Butlers had several centuries of pent up frustration to work out and these cultivators were proving to be adequate punching bags.

Necrotic spells were being flung as though mana was cheaper than salt water in the ocean. The average Death Butler knew a few handy spells, of course. Necrotic Smite, Lesser Curse Terrain, Death Knells, Desecrate... oh, was that a Excruciation Deformation I saw? Poor former-cultivator, that was a painful way to go. It was a great way to demoralise, however.

A Screaming Flames lit up the air with both fire and noise, beating back the fog in a large area and ensuring that everyone around knew that things weren't working out so well for our antagonistic guests.

I returned my focus on the Limpet, who was staring up at me with eyes that practically glowed with the reflection of the burning men below. "Master?" she asked. "I, uh, we were invaded."

"I noticed," I replied. "It seems as if my arrival was fortuitous."

She winced. "I think we were about to have to deal with this whole thing in the city itself, which wouldn't be, ah, good."

"No, I imagine it wouldn't be. Morale tends to suffer when soldiers barge into homes and sack a city. On the other hand, morale tends to improve considerably post-victory. Ah, which reminds me." I turned towards the knightly figure walking up behind the Limpet. Sir Coughagus bowed. "Might I impose on you to ask your compatriots to perhaps tone down their enthusiasm a little?"

Someone's arm flew out above us and came tumbling back down on the far side of the wall.

"I believe we'll need as many intact bodies as we can obtain if we're to secure our holdings in the Flaming Steps."

"Yes, my lord," Sir Coughagus said. He bowed once more, then stepped off the side of the wall and into the battlefield below. I trusted that he would communicate what needed to be communicated in time.

"It's good to see you again, Master," the Limpet said, much the way I'd expect a limpet to say it. That is, she sounded like a dog whose master had returned for a short jaunt out of their line of sight. "A lot has been happening."

"I can see that. I imagine that there's even more that isn't so terribly obvious."

"Ah, yes," she said. "Mem told me some of what happened out west, but it was... Mem who communicated it, so I'm not entirely sure I trust it all. Alex wrote me a fine letter explaining things, but that also left some gaps."

"We can go over my own adventures soon enough," I said. "Tell me, have things been productive here?"

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She blinked big eyes behind her spectacles, then nodded. "Yup. Very, ah, productive. I think I've settled things with the city very well, Master."

"Oh? That's impressive." It was, genuinely. It was one thing to blunt the offensive of an army, it was a whole other kind of ordeal to handle civil servants. "How did you manage that, I wonder?" Did she had some heretofore unnoticed ability to handle that sort of person? Had her charisma grown while I wasn't around?"

The Limpet looked to the side, no longer meeting my sockets. She mumbled something.

"Hmm? What was that?" I asked.

"I may have declared myself Empress," she said.

"Ah," I said. "You are aware that that is wrong."

She winced. "I'm sorry!"

"Being emperor or empress implies that your rule extends beyond a single city. In fact, it implies ownership and control over multiple countries. At best you're a queen."

"Oh," the Limpet said. "Should I change the title, then? We already sent out letters about it across the city. A retraction now might make me look silly, though I guess now would be the best time for that. Um, you approve of my choice?"

"Dear Limpet, you could not imagine how little I care," I said. "Have you been practising your magic?"

"I have!" she hastened to say. "Every day. I've taken detailed notes as well, and Seventeen has coached me when he had the time to spare. I think I'm improving, though I'm not sure if my rate of improvement is good or not."

"I'll be the judge of that," I said. "Though later. Let's first see about organising all of these fresh supplies." I gestured to the armies clashing below. The tide had definitely turned now.

The Limpet looked at the battlefield, went a little green, then swallowed past her revulsion and looked back up to me. "I'm happy you're back, Master. Um, but what's our next step?"

"Why, if you're going to call yourself an empress we might as well make it real. I suspect that it's exactly the kind of thing you need to properly advance as a warlock."

"Huh?" she asked.

"It's one of those rather disgusting charisma-based classes. Were you a fighter I'd have you bash a sword against some enemies of greater and greater power. Were you bard, I'd have you put on shows and plays and possibly encourage you to seduce the local nobility or perhaps the nearest monster of some power. Were you a barbarian... I'd dispose of you quietly. Each class demands a certain approach to improve themselves."

"I think I'm following," she said.

"Good. A warlock is a charisma class. What do you think that means?"

She blinked while considering it. "It's a class that improves by being charismatic?"

"Not quite," I said. "Unlike a wizard who grows with knowledge, warlocks grow by doing their master's bidding, but also by becoming more influential. A wizard might quest for more esoteric knowledge in order to fuel their growth, but a warlock will quest for power itself, whether magical or political."

"Ah! I get it. So being an empress is good for me?"

"It's exactly the kind of narcissistic, self-loving thing I'd expect from a warlock."

She looked flummoxed for a moment. "That didn't sound very complimentary," she said.

"So your comprehension skills still function, then," I noted. I turned back to the battlefield, dismissing her confusion. "Compliments are for those who need them. I suspect you'll get plenty from sycophants and the like in the coming days."

"I don't know if those will matter to me as much as Master's compliments," she said.

That... made me feel a little strange, so I squashed the feeling. "You'll have to start acting like an empress. See to it that the city is ready to recover from all of this."

"It actually didn't hurt the city that much," the Limpet said.

"Yes, but the people of the city won't be under that impression, so it's a good time to capitalise before they start complaining once more."

"Oh! Master is smart when it comes to dealing with people, huh?"

"Your Master has had to do it for far too long. If there's truly one thing that led me down a morally... utilitarian path, it's having to deal with idiots. Now you get to experience that joy all for yourself."

"I feel like I've just been handed a punishment."

Oh yes, she'd come to rue the day, I was certain.

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