Genghis Khan pressed his pitchfork against my throat. He grinned wickedly in sadistic pleasure at outmaneuvering me. I smiled back just as wickedly. I ducked my chin and bit the center prong of the pitchfork. Using my super strength and super durability, I broke off the middle prong, breaking the pitchfork.

He pressed the button on the pitchfork and it fizzled and sparked, but nothing happened. Khan's eyes widened in shock, and then narrowed in anger. Not a good emotion to have when you're in a deadly battle. He threw the broken pitchfork down and kicked me in the chest.

This caused one of the energy beams wrapped around me to transfer and wrap around his foot as well as my chest, pulling him off balance. With his foot raised in the air, his body swung into mine and the energy loops wrapped around both of us.

He struggled to free himself but he couldn't. He had successfully trapped me, but now also himself. "Tedgeeriig untraa." (Turn them off), I said.

"No," Khan responded.

"You can speak English?" I asked.

"Of course I can speak English. How long do you think I've been in Hell?" He said.

"Well that makes this easier. Turn off the traps," I said.

"I don't know how," he said. "I just knew how to turn them on."

"You've been in Hell that long and you never learned how to turn ball traps off?" I asked.

"The guards always used remotes to turn them off and I couldn't find a remote when I stole them," he said.

"Ok. Well it's really simple. You just press the button to activate them again. That turns them off," I said.

"How are we going to do that? We're trapped," he said.

"The traps don't actually prevent you from moving. They just make it really painful to move," I said.

"Oh. Well then you do it. I'm not hurting myself to free my captor," he said.

"That's really childish, but I understand it. When I start moving, it's going to hurt you too though, so either way we'll both experience the pain," I said.

"Ah," he said. "In that case, I'll do it, since my hands are closer to the traps."

"Smart," I said. I was placating him. Smart people loved being told they were smart.

"I know," he said. He slowly and painfully reached toward the closest trap. "Ahhh!!!" he yelled.

"Ahhh!!!" I yelled in pain.

He pressed the button on the first trap and it turned off. Some of the pain reduced, but it was still excruciating.

"Ahhh!!!" He yelled as he reached for the next one.

"Ahhh!!!" I yelled. "Do you have to yell everytime you do that?"

"Shut up! You're yelling too!" he said turning off the next trap.

"Yeah, but I can stop. I'm just doing it because you are," I said.

"Yeah, right. If you can not yell when I deactivate the rest of the traps, I'll let you kill me and send me back into the Circles," he said offhandedly.

"Is that a deal?" I asked.

"Yeah. Sure," he said, not seeing what I was doing.

I grabbed his hand and shook it. Magic flowed through us and made the deal binding.

"What did you just do?" he asked.

"I made the deal binding. Now if I don't scream or yell when you deactivate the remaining traps, you'll have to let me kill you," I said.

"Damn it. I hate being outsmarted," he said.

"I know I'm not the original Devil, but I am the Devil. It shouldn't be that surprising I can trick people," I said.

"I figured you could trick other people, but not me. I'm Genghis Khan," he said.

"Everyone thinks that until they get tricked. That's what makes it so easy to trick people. The fact they think they can't be tricked," I laughed.

"I can see that. Oh well. I don't think you can not scream for the rest of the traps," he said.

"We'll see," I said, shrugging.

"Ahhh!!!" Genghis Khan yelled as he deactivated the next trap. And the next. And the next. He kept yelling until he finished the last trap and he dropped onto the floor on his head. "Ow."

"Alright, now get up and let me kill you," I said.

"How? How did you not scream?" he said.

"I was forcing myself to scream to trick you into the deal. Obviously," I said, grinning.

"But how?" he said. "The pain was unbearable."

"I've died, been tortured, and dismembered dozens of times. You think a little ball torture is going to make me scream?" I said.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Wow. I didn't realize," he said, hanging his head.

He started to get up. He grabbed the pitchfork as he stood up and tried to stab me in the stomach with the remaining sharp prongs. The pitchfork pressed against my skin without piercing it.

Genghis Khan looked at it in shock and said, "Oh shit."

"Yep," I said. "You're screwed. Although, you were already screwed. If that pitchfork could hurt me, the deal would just stop you from stabbing me with it."

"Oh," he said, looking resigned to his fate.

I grabbed him by the throat and lifted him into the air. "I'll see you later, Khan."

I crushed his windpipe and dropped him to the floor. I watched as he suffocated, grasping at his throat, until he finally stopped moving. His body dissolved into yellow liquid sulfur. His glowing white human soul floated back in the direction of the Circles of Hell, headed to the Pit of the Damned to respawn.

I picked up Steve and put him back in the sheath. I looked at the burning buildings and rubble that used to be buildings and extended my hand out in front of me. Focusing, I made the fires go out and the buildings rebuild themselves.

I closed my eyes and felt for all the damaged buildings in the city. I removed the flames and rebuilt them all until the city was back to the way it was before. Mediocre, but clean and undamaged.

There wasn't really that much damage to repair. Several city blocks were destroyed, but I would have expected a lot more people to escape. It didn't make sense that only Genghis Khan and part of his army would escape. There should have been at least one other non Genghis Khan related soul that got away.

I would have to investigate the Circles to see if that really was everyone who had escaped. I teleported to the control room. No one was there and the lights were off. I turned the lights on and texted everyone that their third day off was over. I asked them all to please come in if they were able.

They all promptly responded, including Nimby. I would need to talk to her in my office, but not like that, you perverts. I needed to set some boundaries but I also needed to acknowledge my mistakes in handling her advances.

I would apologize since it was expected for her to come onto me. It was in the employee handbook for crying out loud. Which I still thought was weird, but I wasn't going to judge anyone for adhering to it.

While I was waiting for everyone to show up, I checked the occupancy reports. We were down occupants of the 9th (treachery), 8th (fraud), 7th (violence), and the 6th (heresy) Circles. The only missing occupants of the 9th circle were Genghis Khan and Judas Iscariot. Judas Iscariot was missing. That was bad. He'd had several mental evaluations over the course of his time in Hell and with every one, he got worse.

That was expected—even by design—but with him escaped, that made him more dangerous than ever. With his first mental evaluation, he had a lot of self loathing, but he got more and more wrathful as time went on.

He believed that Jesus Christ drove him to betraying him for the greater good and he didn't deserve to be in Hell. He blamed Jesus for his predicament. He hated him and vowed revenge.

With that resolution, who knew what he was capable of. He was very smart and conniving and charismatic. That was part of the mental evaluations too. He was very capable and that made him one of the most dangerous people in Hell. Whatever he was up to, it wasn't good.

The occupants missing from the 8th and 6th circles were dangerous as well, but not in the same way as Judas. There were some corrupt politicians, false prophets, lying religious leaders, and some magic practitioners, like witches and sorcerers.

A lot of the 7th Circle was missing in particular. That circle was populated entirely by extremely violent offenders. Think murderers, tyrants, and warlords. That was more bad news. Judas could have easily convinced some of these escapees to join him in whatever he was planning to do. The question was, what was he planning?

It was now that Nimby, the Steves, and the rest of the background staff showed up. I looked at the Steves and said, "I need you to track and locate Judas Iscariot immediately. Call me in my office when you find him."

I beckoned with my finger for Nimby to follow me. I led her into my office. "Finally," she said. "I thought you'd never bring me in here."

I turned to her with a firm but not angry look on my face. "Margaret has made me aware of Hell's policy on workplace fraternization. I can't find it in myself to go through with it. I'm telling you now that you have no obligation to force yourself on me or please me in any way."

Nimby looked disappointed. "But I want to please you!"

"You can please me by keeping things friendly between us and nothing more," I said.

"But what about Chef Demi and the others? They all expect me to put out for you. I've been getting a ton of pressure lately since I waited so long to make a move. What am I going to tell them?" she said.

"Just tell them I said you didn't have to do it," I said.

"That won't work. They'll think I begged you to let me not do it and you said it was ok. It would not only make me look bad, but it would make you look weak," she said.

"Oh," I said. That hadn't occurred to me. I didn't realize not sleeping with my female coworkers—or coworker, since Nimby was the only female member of my staff—would make me lose morale and control of my people. Hmm. I'd have to be careful about this.

"What about this? What if you and I meet in my office everyday and just hang out? We can play cards or twister or something," I said.

"Naked twister?" she said, teasing me. Now she was having fun with me.

"No. Clothing stays on young lady," I said, wagging my finger at her.

"Don't call me that. I'm older than you," she said, pouting.

"Maturity wise you aren't," I said. "While I will acquiesce to many things, sex and calling you young lady I won't budge on. Calling you young lady allows me to maintain a sense of authority over you."

It sounded stupid, but it did work like that. Words were powerful. I had learned that in the three years since I became the Devil.

"Ok, fine," she said, petulantly clenching her fists at her sides. "Are you suggesting we pretend to have sex?"

"That is exactly what I'm suggesting. We'll just hang out, but when we leave, we should leave with slightly disheveled clothes. You can even put a preferably clean pair of panties on my desk or something," I said.

"Oh, I like that! That will sell it!" she said.

"I know, right? Is that acceptable for you? That way we can both keep up appearances but I don't have to cheat on Margaret," I said.

"Yeah! Ok. Can I kiss your neck? To leave my lipstick on you?" she said.

"That's a little too far for my comfort. You can kiss my shirt. That's the most I'll allow," I said firmly.

"Ok," she said, pouting again.

"You just want to sleep with me for real, don't you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," she said, twiddling her thumbs.

"Why?" I said. "Wait, don't answer that. I can guess. I'm sorry for rejecting you. Don't you have other prospects? You're young and not unattractive. You must be beating men off with your left and right hands."

"Repeat what you just said in your head," she said, blushing.

I did. Oh. "Yeah, that's not what I meant. Are you saying you don't have prospects?" I said.

"No, I do, but none of them are as handsome and powerful as you," she said.

"Well, you're going to have to get over that. Sorry. I'm not cheating on my girlfriend," I said, shrugging.

"Ok, fine," she said. She turned to leave.

"Hold on," I said.

"What?" she asked.

I messed up her hair and unbuttoned the top button on her uniform. "Better. Now you do me," I said. I looked at her meaningfully. "Not like that."

"Ok." She messed up my hair and kissed my collar, leaving a lipstick stain on it.

"Ok, now we can leave," I said.

"Ok," she said, opening the door first and walking out.

I followed her out and then turned into the control room while she turned into the kitchen. I leaned over the banister and looked at the Steves. "Anything?"

"Numerous unknown humanoid heat signatures in the Obsidian Crags, moving towards Shadow Canyon," Steve Three said.

"Ok, good. What's near there?" I said.

"The portal to Purgatory!" Steve Four yelled.

"Oh, no," I said. They weren't just trying to escape Hell. They were trying to get to Heaven. That was bad news. Very bad news. The occupants of Heaven were vulnerable. They were all kind, good souls. They didn't know how to defend themselves.