As I read through the handbook Margaret gave me, I turned on my computer. There were a few filters that I just thought of that might help me determine what was actually going on.

I went back to the handbook as my computer turned on. That was the more important thing I had to address. I understood that murders were important, but this was my relationship on the line. That trumped murder. No offense intended to anyone who had been murdered.

I found a lot of really weird stuff in there. There were instructions on how to properly conduct "business." There was a workplace flirtation manual. There was a guidance on the appropriate way to be passive aggressive at work. There were nickname picking tables, depending on how positive or negative you wanted them to sound.

There was a wealth of really strange customs that I did not even remotely understand. Like I thought I was pretty open-minded, but ordering exotic dancers for workplace birthday celebrations? That was bizarre even for me. It even gave numbers to call, depending on what you were looking for. I had no idea there were so many flavors of exotic dancers. There were dirty cops, dirty nurses, dirty maids, dirty nerds, dirty clowns, and even dirty exotic dancers—which was especially confusing—to name just a small portion of the options.

The amount of weird things were too numerous to list. It was enough to fill a whole handbook if that tells you anything. Some more notable ones were the correct way to dispose of a body, proper backstabbing etiquette, a list of appropriate and inappropriate workplace pranks, and there was a guide to being late to work and how to get away with it. One of my favorites, though, was titled "Magic Rituals in the Workplace and Beyond."

I read through that section thoroughly. It detailed a vast number of different types of mostly mundane magic rituals, like how to erase all record of you scanning your butt on the copier, or the way to rid the fridge of food smells that just wouldn't go away, or how to get the intern you liked to pay attention to you.

One ritual in particular caught my eye, though. It detailed how to conduct demon deals with mortals. Apparently, there were rituals associated with demon deals that either boosted the power of a deal, reduced the physical and mental exhaustion afterwards, or even nullified the deal and retrieved the magical energy used to make it.

The detail that made a lightbulb go off in my head was that, if the person you were nullifying the deal of didn't consent to the nullification or if you didn't have the body—living or otherwise—of the demon that conducted the deal originally, the human and the demon would die. It did stipulate if the dealer was Lucifer himself, he wouldn't die, it would just hurt a lot.

That perfectly matched what we knew about the murders of the famous people. They all had deals with demons or Lucifer that was obviously the source of their fame. And whoever was murdering these people clearly didn't have access to the original dealers and probably didn't have the deal receivers' consent.

They were stealing the magic from the demon deals and killing the victim in the process. What they were stealing the magic for, I didn't know, but it probably wasn't good.

I went into the database of demon deals in my computer and cross-referenced the most recent murder with the closest nearby person who had made a demon deal. Uh oh. I knew the person. It was Sarah. I didn't realize she had made a deal with Harvey on top of the brainwashing. The record just said it was a deal for revenge. It didn't give specifics.

I needed to leave if I wanted to save Sarah before the murderer got to her, but I needed to talk to Margaret and apologize. I couldn't leave things as they were.

There was a loud knock on my door. "Dave?" Margaret said. "We need to talk."

I walked over to the door, unlocked it, and opened it. "I know. I'm sorry, Margaret. I should have read the handbook sooner. I didn't realize there were so many cultural differences in the workplace. I promise I'll read the other handbooks after I get back."

"That's not what I wanted to talk about, but I appreciate the apology. Wait, where are you going?" she said.

"Sarah's in trouble. A murderer is after her and if I don't leave soon, she could die," I said.

"Who's Sarah?" Margaret said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Wait, I'm confused. I thought you said you were ok with non-monogamy. What's the attitude for? Is this part of that sassy thing you're trying on, because now really isn't the time. Someone's life is at stake," I said.

"In the workplace, Dave. And only physical intimacy. Emotional cheating is heavily frowned upon down here. Even more so than on Earth, from what I understand," she said, still giving me a nasty look.

"Ok, look. She's my ex-girlfriend, but we are over. We've been over since before you and I met. But she's still my friend, and I can't abandon a friend to die," I said.

"That's understandable, but this conversation really can't wait," she said, handing me a small plastic device. I looked at it and realized what it was. It was a pregnancy test, and the little result window was showing a plus sign. I was pretty certain a plus sign meant pregnant.

"Oh, my gosh. That's great, right?" I said, unsure of what her opinion was. We hadn't been trying to get pregnant. We weren't even legally lifelong partners yet. We'd actively been trying not to get pregnant. I always wore protection and everything. I honestly had no idea how this could have happened.

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"Maybe it is. I don't know. It's not my job to decide. It's yours," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Margaret put her hand up to her face and sighed. "You didn't read the relationship handbook either, did you?"

"Not yet, but I will," I said.

"It's too late for that. Hell's relationship handbook dictates that it's the man's job to decide whether to keep the pregnancy or not," she said.

"Can I think about it and get back to you later?" I asked. I really didn't have the time or the energy to think about something so important and life changing right now. I had to save Sarah.

"No. The decision has to be made by the end of tonight, or the decision will be made for us," she said.

"What? Why?" I asked, confused.

"You really should've read the relationship handbook that I gave you and told you to read! Ten times! Ten times, Dave! Why don't you listen to me?" She burst into tears. "Oh shit. The hormones are already kicking in."

"That fast? How?" I asked, even more confused.

"The handbook, Dave! Ten times!" She said, crying harder.

"Margaret! Tell me what the handbook says! We don't have time for this," I said, insensitively. I didn't have time to figure out this mystery. Sarah could be murdered any minute now.

My phone vibrated. I looked at it. It was a message from Sarah. It read, "I think someone's trying to break into the house! I can't leave. My Mom is here. Come quick!"

Oh crap. I was out of time.

"The handbook Dave! Look up demon-human pregnancy," she could barely form words she was crying so hard. Holy crap. Those hormones were doing a number on her. What the hell.

"Ok, ok!" I said. I really didn't have time for this, but something in my gut told me that this was important. More important than the immediate threat to Sarah's life somehow. I don't know how I knew. I just knew.

I ran back into my study and opened the big bottom drawer that I put all the handbooks in. There were a ton of them. There had to be over fifty of them. I started picking them up, checking the covers, and throwing them to the ground.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I said. I started reading the titles out loud. "Toilets and You - a handbook, Demonic Rituals and You - a handbook, Human-Demon Relationships and You - a cautionary tale." What the hell? A cautionary tale? That wasn't concerning or ominous at all.

This was what I needed though, so I opened it to the table of contents. "Blah blah blah, pregnancy. I got it!" I flipped it to the page indicated and started reading, "Human-demon pregnancies, a warning. Always know your decision beforehand, because you won't have any time to figure it out once the pregnancy begins."

"The male partner must make the decision whether to keep the child according to demon law? The average human-demon pregnancy lasts two days? The time until aborting is no longer possible, is six hours? The fatality rate of human-demon pregnancies is 80%? Delivery at a hospital increases chances of survival by 50%? The patient must reach a hospital at least 24 hours before the scheduled birth? Holy hell? I can't do this! I can't make this choice!"

She wasn't kidding about having no time. I didn't even know how long she had been pregnant for. For all I knew I had minutes to decide what to do. There had to be something in here about when the hormones and crying kicked in. Maybe that would tell me how long I had to decide.

"Blah blah blah, the crying begins roughly an hour before the pregnancy is permanent. You should head to a clinic immediately if you plan to do anything about it," I read. Shit! Think! What to do?

Even if I decided abortion was the way to go, I didn't have time to take Margaret to a clinic and save Sarah. I would either have to choose one or the other. Or I could try to save Sarah really quick and then immediately take Margaret to a clinic.

That seemed like my only option. I couldn't leave Sarah to die. I just couldn't. My phone vibrated again. It was another text message. This one read "My mom and I are in the closet. He's in the room and walking towards the door. Come now or don't come at all. I'd rather you not see my dead body."

Ok, that seemed a little dramatic, but I understood the panic. Shit! "Margaret! I have to save Sarah! She's literally seconds away from dying!" I yelled.

Margaret was curled into a fetal position on the floor. She looked at me with a face full of pain, fear, and righteous fury. "Don't you dare leave me like this, you bastard! I swear—"

"I'll be back, baby! I promise!"

"Beauregard David Daverson! You decide to abort this baby and you take me to a hospital right now, or I will never forgive you!"

"But—" I started to say.

"No buts mister!" she said.

"Sarah will die!" I said.

"I'll die if you don't take me to a hospital. Who are you going to save? Your ex-girlfriend or your current girlfriend?" She said in agony.

"Why can't I save both?" I said. This was probably an immature question, but I still hadn't learned that choices and sacrifices had to be made. I still thought I could save everyone. Especially now that I was immortal and "invincible."

"You just can't, Dave," she said, crying. "That's life. Accept it and save me. Please."

I paused for a moment and a single tear ran down my cheek that I wiped away. Sarah would never forgive me for this. Would I forgive myself for this if I was Sarah?

"Yes, my love," I said. I walked over to Margaret and scooped her off the floor. I imagined we were at the nearest demon hospital, and we were.

Margaret's stomach was growing before my eyes. We didn't have much time if we still had any at all. I walked into the hospital and went up to the front desk.

"What seems to be the problem?" the woman at the front desk asked.

"She's pregnant," I said, looking at Margaret.

"Congratulations! That's lovely, but what's the medical issue? Judging by her size, she can't be more than 3 months pregnant. It's way too early for her to be in labor," she said.

"We found out she was pregnant an hour ago," I said.

"What? How is that possible?" The nurse was deeply confused.

"Look at me and then look at her and that'll answer your question," I said.

"What do you mean?" she said, still confused.

I realized the problem. She was assuming I was a demon in human form. Not a human in human form. "I'm not a demon. I'm human."

"What? How are you down here, then?" she asked.

"Don't you recognize me? It's me, the Devil," I said.

"Oh! Oh! Oh no! She needs to be taken to the emergency room immediately!" she said.

"I know!" I said.

The nurse pressed a button on the phone, and shortly after, someone wheeled a stretcher into the lobby. I placed her on it. The man pushing the stretcher said, "What's the emergency?"

"Human-demon pregnancy. I'm the new human Devil. She's been pregnant for over five hours," I said.

"Well, now, that is an emergency. Follow me," he said. We walked down a hallway and turned into an emergency room.

The doctor there said, "What seems to be the problem?"

"Human-demon pregnancy. Me human. Me new Devil. Five hours," I said.

"Oh, shit!" The doctor said. "Get her prepped for emergency intervention, now!"

Margaret was placed on the table, and I was ushered out of the room. There were a few chairs just outside the room that I was asked to sit in. I stared at the door, feeling more powerless than I ever had, before and after becoming the Devil.