Diego took a moment to recover from his shock at having his radio speak in the stranger’s voice in understandable english. He thought quickly.
“Hello Eolai. My name is Diego. Sergeant Diego Cruz. It is a pleasure to be your guest,” he said.
“Eolai, can you hear me?” the captain asked over the radio.
“I hear you Captain,” the man and the radio said at almost exactly the same time. “It is a pleasure to hear your voice. I apologize for the confusion upon your arrival. Now that understanding has been made you are welcome. We are very excited for your existence. We are very happy that you are alive and amazed by you.”
There was nothing but silence for a moment. Then the Captain’s voice came over the channel again. “Eolai, on behalf of the peoples of Earth, I wish to extend peaceful desires for communications and cultural and technological exchanges between our societies. We mean the people of this star system no harm and wish for peaceful coexistence.”
Eolai smiled wider, if that was possible. “Your words bring pleasure, Captain. I too wish for cultural exchange between our peoples. It appears that there is much that we can learn from each other.”
“Is Eolai your name or your title? Is it the rank that you hold in your society?”
“Eolai is the name that my mother gave to me when I turned three months old,” Eolai explained. “Most know me by this. Is Captain not the name that your mother gave you?”
“Captain is my rank. It signifies that I am the leader who is in charge of the ship, which is named The Seeker of New Discoveries. In the ranks of the military organizations of my planet, there are several which would be of higher rank than me, but as Captain I am in charge of the mission of this vessel. The name my mother gave me is Ji-eun. I was adopted by another family, and took on their family name, which is Moon. While Sergeant Diego Cruz has been addressing me by my title, my full name would be Captain Ji-eun Moon. For ease of communication, it is fine if you continue to call me Captain as well.”
“Thank you for this information. I am also captain. Sort of. I command this vessel upon which I stand, and I am well respected by the captains of the other vessels which guard this beautiful planet upon which my children live. Sort of. It does not have a beautiful name like The Seeker of New Discoveries. Naming your ships to teach them their purpose is a beautiful tradition, but not one which the Sulivans believe in. It would be very difficult for them to understand.”
“By ‘Sulivans,’ do you mean the xenosapients which Sergeant Diego described seeing when he initially disembarked from his shuttle? They are a different species than you, Eolai?”
“The people that you are calling the Sulivans are close friends of the Yonohoan people. I am Yonohoan, but I have made promises to the Sulivans which put me in command of this ship. This ship belongs to them. They built it using their own technology of which they are rightfully very proud. It does have a few pieces of Yonohoan technology on it as well, mostly there for my comfort and the comfort of my human guests. This ship’s primary purpose is the defense of the fourth world from this star.”
“If it is not secret information, we wish to know how many Sulivans live in this star system, as well as how many Yonohoans,” the captain inquired.
“It would frighten the Sulivans to give you this information about their people. I am pleased to tell you that there are between three hundred million and one billion Yonohoans upon the fourth planet from this star, a large number of which are children leading happy lives. They are very excited by the messages you have been sending them and are working very hard to find the meaning hidden within them.” Eolai laughed. “That is one of the sources of amusement and confusion that we have experienced. You have been breaking the Rocktalas throughout the star system.”
The captain was silent for a moment. “I apologize if we have been causing any damage to the Yonohoan infrastructure. I assure you that was not our intentions. We were seeking a method of peaceful communication.”
“That was the assumption of the Yonohoan people. Do not worry. The Rocktalas are learning devices, toys, and often diaries. They are mostly used by children. At most you have caused some toys to act in a strange manner, but the Rocktalas are intelligent enough to prevent any harm from coming of anomalous commands.” Eolai laughed. “I think that the reason your attempts to communicate is so funny to me is something that you must be Yonohoan to understand. I mean no disrespect towards your earnest attempts at reaching out into the universe. Now that my ship’s computer understands that you are human, it is analyzing the data you have been sending and it is learning everything that you have been trying to teach.”
“Message received. I wish to confirm. The signals from the planet are being sent by the children of the Yonohoan people?”
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“Not exclusively children. Once your ship began broadcasting on the frequencies used by by the Rocktalas, many many Yonohoans began searching for meaning in the messages. The solution to the problem is both much more complex and far simpler than many of them will believe. It will cause many people to smack their heads on walls and tables when they understand that they have been caught holding hands in the park by the Sulivans. Then they will laugh and leap for joy at the meaning of the revelation, for they will celebrate your existence and your accomplishments.”
“Message received. I wish to confirm. No harm has come to either the Yonohoan or the Sullivan peoples due to the actions of this vessel?”
“Confirmed. You have caused a lot of excitement but no harm,” Eolai said. He paused, and then he spoke in a new tone of voice. “I must inform you at this time that the method which you are using to travel between stars is very dangerous to the human body, and you appear to be lacking several technologies which are legally required on all space faring vessels with human occupants. Due to a number of factors, I regretfully must inform you that if you attempt to leave this star system upon that vessel, it will be pursued. I offer to you in trade a vessel which is rated for human transportation for the purposes of completing your mission of discovery.”
There was a pause. A long one, in which Diego felt a drop of sweat streak down his back.
“Message received. I am unhappy that this is a point of contention between our people. We are not willing to surrender or trade this spaceship at this time,” the captains voice said.
“Please power down the engine which allows you to travel faster than the speed of light,” Eolai said, his voice sounding slightly saddened. “Our ships can detect not only when you apply power to it, but we can predict its destination, and we will arrive before your own vessel finishes its translation back into normal space. I am uncertain whether or not we can disable your vessel without damaging it and the Yonohoan people have no desire to cause harm to your vessel or its occupants. However, we will pursue you to your destination to enforce the laws we are required to enforce.”
A pause, during which Diego contemplated the fact that the Captain was considering abandoning him. He couldn’t blame her. Not intellectually, he knew that depending on how things play out it might be the right call. It still made his balls retract to think that he might find himself stranded, however. He’d known it was a possibility when he’d volunteered for the boarding mission, but it was still damn scary.
“Message received,” the captain said. “We are powering down the Tunnel-Drive. We wish to discuss this situation and arrive at a compromise. Preferably one which leaves us in control of this vessel.”
“Confirmed. I have a suggestion. Would you be willing to speak with my peers? They have been listening and are eager to introduce themselves. Many of my peers are more familiar with the regulations on this matter than I am, and have been researching your situation while we have been discussing various topics. In the mean time, I would like to give Sergeant Diego Cruz a tour of this ship that the Sulivans have built and make him feel welcome.”
“Message received,” the captain said. There was a pause. “I am open to discussing the situation with any legal experts who will be willing to help us reach a compromise. We will use this frequency for the discussion of legal matters. Diego, mission channel has been changed to channel nine.”
“Message received,” Diego said. “Changing frequencies.”
He adjusted the dial on his radio. “Come in Seeker. This is Sergeant Diego, do you read me?”
“Message receied. This is Radio. Do you read me Diego?”
“I read you Radio. Any instructions from the captain?” Diego asked.
“She suggests that you enjoy the tour of the alien space craft and encourages you to be a polite guest while we discuss this minor traffic violation that it seems we’ve unwittingly committed.”
“Understood,” Diego said. He looked at Eolai, who had a finger to the device on his ear. He was speaking occasionally, but the translation wasn’t being broadcast to Diego’s radio. Eolai smiled at Diego and said “one moment.” It wasn’t transmitted, he simply spoke the words with a heavy accent. Diego was content to allow the man all the time he required, but after only a few minutes Eolai’s attention returned entirely to his guest.
“I apologize for any rudeness. My peers are presently discussing the situation of your wonderful ship and its legal problems,” Eolai explained. This time the words were translated by the computer and broadcast to Diego’s radio.
“I understand. I do want to go home, so getting our little legal snafu resolved is of the highest priority as far as I’m concerned. We had no idea that the Tunnel Drive was illegal by interstellar law or anything like that. I hope we’re not causing damage to the universe or anything.”
Eolai laughed. “I assure you that the universe is not so fragile as to be damaged by a small engine like your Tunnel Drive. The issue is the cumulative damage that exposure to the particular dimension of subspace that you have been using to travel faster than light causes to the human neurons. Come, follow me and we will begin your tour.”
Diego nodded and followed his guest deeper into the alien ship. “We knew that it caused problems. We tested it on animals before we sent a person through. Because of those tests, we’ve been knocking ourselves out before making a translation. It seems to alleviate the effects that you describe.”
“Knocking yourselves out?” Eolai repeated.
“We use chemicals. Surgical anesthetics to render ourselves unconscious and complete the translation under autopilot,” Diego explained.
Eolai cocked his head. “I see. Perhaps that might alleviate the symptoms, but I do not believe my peers will be willing to risk the health of your crew using an unproven method of faster than light travel when there are eight methods which have been in use for millennia and have a proven track record of being safe for human biology.”
Diego sighed. “My nose itches.”