3.21.

“Can we have the radio?” John asked as he sat next to Emily in the backseat. She had half expected him not to come, but he had been waiting at the curb for her when she and her driver had pulled up to Olivia’s house. He was dressed in khakis and a button-down-shirt, but it was within the latest fashions for kids her age so he didn’t look overly formal.

Emily was pretty certain that Olivia had helped him pick out the outfit. She smiled. Emily didn’t really think of this as a date, more of ‘I want to be friends so let’s hang out.’ But she wouldn’t be too upset if that’s how John thought of it.

“Sure kid,” the driver said, turning the radio on to one of Emily’s favorite stations. The sound of pop music filled the car, and John seemed to relax a little.

“I haven’t told anyone that you have you powers back, you know,” she told John. “I haven’t told anyone any of the secrets you told me. Except for Peter here, but he’s got an NDA with my family so he won’t tell anyone.”

The driver tipped his hat at them.

“I wasn’t worried about you telling or I wouldn’t have told you,” John said. He blushed and looked out the window. “I’m sorry I’m awkward.”

“I think most kids our age are awkward at some points, John,” she argued. “We’ll just have to hang out together until you relax.”

“Yeah, I guess,” John said. Awkwardly.

The silence stretched on for a few moments.

“The FBI might be sending people to follow me,” John said after a while.

“Will they?” Emily asked.

“I don’t know for sure. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. I told Agent Morrison that I was going to go to the mall with a friend today and he reminded me not to use any of my abilities in a very stern voice, but he didn’t say that I couldn’t go,” John explained.

“You have to get permission for things like this from the FBI?” she asked.

“I don’t know if I have to or not, but it’s probably better if I do,” John admitted. “I just wanted to tell you in case you saw someone following us that it’s probably them and not to worry about it.”

Emily considered the question for a moment. “John, I’m not a trained soldier. I’m a twelve year old girl. If the FBI wants to follow me, I doubt that I’d notice unless they were being really obvious about it. Peter might notice because he’s also sort of my security person, so I guess it’s good to tell him. But I definitely wouldn’t have.”

“Oh,” John said.

“It is kind of cool that you’re important enough that the FBI wants to tail you,” she informed him.

“It’s annoying,” John argued.

“Yeah, but it’s also kind of cool,” she said.

“If you say so.”

The car fell into awkward silence again. “So what sort of movies do you like?” she asked after a few minutes.

“Documentaries,” John said immediately. “I like learning about Earth. I do like Earth. A lot.”

“That’s cool. I like rom-com movies. That stands for romantic comedy if you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t,” John admitted.

“When we’re at the mall, maybe we can see a movie,” she said. “I don’t know if they’ll have any documentaries, but we can watch whatever they have that you want to see.”

“You can pick. Just … I don’t think I’m supposed to watch ‘action’ or ‘horror’ movies. Because of my trauma,” John said.

“It’s kind of cool that you just bluntly talk about it like it’s no big deal,” she informed him. “I don’t think I can even begin to imagine what you went through growing up. Not after hearing the way you talk about it. But you act like it’s no big deal. It makes you sound even tougher than you probably are.”

“Oh,” John said, uncertain how to take the compliment.

They rode in silence for a while. It was a twenty minute drive from Olivia’s house to the mall, and they had some time to fill.

“You can ask about it if you want,” John said eventually.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“It?”

“My life. Before Earth. Or when I first arrived. I talk about it with Olivia all the time. And my therapist. They said that it might help to talk with someone my age,” John said. “So you can ask questions. I’ll try to answer them.”

She took a minute to consider how to respond. Then she asked “Did they ever make you hurt anyone?”

“Yes,” John said. “In training. And … when I woke up I was very disoriented. I mean, when I became active in this time period. It’s very confusing still. I thought I was in the enemy’s hands and I hurt the man who was trying to help me and killed some Topokans. They’ve forgiven me, both the man I hurt and the families of the Topokans. I’m not certain I deserve their forgiveness.”

“My mother believes that forgiveness isn’t something that you deserve or not. It’s something that is either given or withheld. It says more about the person giving the forgiveness than the person receiving it, according to her,” Emily explained. “I’m not saying that you don’t deserve their forgiveness. I’m saying that you should accept it, because it will make the people who offered it to you feel better about what happened. It will help them put the things you did in the past for them.”

John was quiet, staring out the window at the eighteen wheeler they were passing. “That’s a perspective I’ve never heard before. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m just repeating what my mom says though.”

“Still, thank you.”

“What was your life like before you got sucked in by the high-command’s military or whatever it was?” she asked.

John smiled. “My family all wore homemade clothes of leather and woven reeds. We were very primitive before the night of the meteors, when the scouts came to us. Even when they arrived and tried to show us new ways, my parents and grandparents continued to cling to their tradition. One of the scouts, her name was Enidi, she tricked the adults into letting her watch us little ones. It was fun because she would use her abilities around us and show us things that seemed to be magic. When she asked if I wanted to learn how they worked, I agreed eagerly. That’s how I ended up on the Toormonda.”

“They had Toormonda’s back then?” Emily asked.

“Yes. It’s where I learned almost everything I know. Except how to fight and kill, of course. I learned that in training afterwards.”

“Right,” she agreed. “But let’s focus on your family. Tell me about your mom.”

They spoke about his little village in the distant past for the remainder of the trip. Compared to the initial stiffness, the memories about his early childhood came easily to John. He continued to talk about them as Peter dropped them off at the entrance of the mall, promising to wait for them in the food court while they did their teenage-stuff.

Abruptly John went quiet. His expression showed that he was having serious thoughts again and Emily cursed inwardly. “What’s wrong.”

“I just remembered that they’re all dead,” John admitted. “That they’ve been dead for a very long time. That the only person in existence who remembers that little village and the flute dances that we used to perform after a successful hunt is me.”

Emily winced, because how exactly was she supposed to cheer him up after that revelation? “They probably had good lives though, didn’t they? I mean, probably?”

“They probably spent it wondering what fates befell their children who were taken from them by the soldiers from the sky,” John said sadly. “A part of me is really coming to hate High-Command. For all the good things that they have done in bringing freedom to the universe, they also carry heavy sins which I’m having trouble overlooking any longer.”

“Let’s talk about something else. Have you ever had a pretzel, John? There’s a really good stand over here that serves the best hot pretzels.”

She realized as they spoke that being friends with John was going to take a lot of work. She wasn’t quite certain what drove her to put in the effort, except that seeing him smile whenever she convinced him to stop thinking about ‘his trauma’ and all the dark things that had happened lit up her world a little bit.

“I’m sorry if I’m not a good companion,” John said as they waited in line. “We don’t have to talk about my past. I just thought that you might be interested, so I offered.”

“I am interested. I really am, John. But you don’t owe me any explanations either. I’m not going to tell you about all of my secrets, so you should only tell me the ones that you want me to know.”

“You have secrets?” John asked.

“Yes. For example, I’m absolutely not going to tell you how I peed myself in second grade because I was too embarrassed to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom,” she said. “And I’m not going to tell you about …”

She was surprised when he abruptly barked a laugh at one of her embarrassing antectdotes. They got their pretzel and sat at one of the empty tables at the food court.

They fell into a comfortable quiet as they ate.

“It wasn’t all terrible. Training. There were good times too,” John said eventually. “I had friends. They were more than friends. We all swore to be brothers and sisters to each other. That is a solemn oath among my people, and we took it very seriously. Would you like to hear about them?”

“Sure,” she agreed.

“One of my brothers name was Trewali. He was the same age as me, but he acted like I was his big brother and looked up to me. When we were learning to fight without armor, I accidentally kicked him in the balls so hard that the medics had to get involved to save them,” John admitted. “They said that I almost turned him into a eunuch, but they saved them in the end.”

Emily laughed. “Was he angry?”

“I think he was too busy being miserable. When he recovered I apologized, but he said that an enemy wouldn’t apologize and neither should I. But the next time we fought he kept trying to kick me there to get his revenge.”

They spoke for the rest of the afternoon about John’s many brothers and sisters. While the context of the stories were often terrible, John managed to find some measure of brightness and happiness within them.

Emily was happy for him. If she had been in his position, she wasn’t certain that she’d have been able to do the same.

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