3.33.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sarah asked Dornodo. “I mean, a lot of people are going to see it.”

“That is the very purpose of going on television, is it not?” her husband asked her as the makeup artist worked on him. “We need to bring attention to my business on Earth if I am to integrate into your society. Our business . We are equal partners in the Toormonda now.”

Sarah nodded, conceding his point. “You know that they’re not going to talk about Toormondas though, right? I mean, it might come up, but the topic of the show is literally ‘so I married an alien.’ They want to talk about us.”

“We met because of a Toormonda. We operate a Toormonda together. Discussing Toormondas is part of the topic of our relationship,” he pointed out.

Again she conceded the point. “They might ask some very personal questions,” she said. “We don’t have to answer anything we don’t want to, but if they ask you how big you are down there, I’d prefer it if you didn’t simply decline to answer.”

“Do you think that they’d be particularly upset if I offered to show them?” he asked.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” she said, well aware that he was teasing her.

“Show them, or offer to show them?” he asked.

She considered. “You can make the offer. It would be funny,” she admitted. “But keep your pants on until we get home, okay?”

“Of course. Although you should know that we are less hung up on these topics than you Earthlings seem to be.”

“So you’d be okay with all of earth seeing you naked?” she asked.

He considered the question, then it was his turn to concede the point. “Perhaps not the entire Earth.”

“There, you see?” she asked. “And how would you feel if I decided to take off my clothes in front of them?”

“There isn’t a word to describe how jealous I would feel,” he admitted.

“Right,” she said.

“You’re on in five,” one of the production aides said. The makeup artists made a few final adjustments, and then they got up to follow the aide to their place on set.

The producers did a countdown, and their host, Susan Mathers, expertly picked up the introduction.

“Today on Matters with Mathers, I have with me a loving couple who are literally from completely different worlds! Sarah Renfield was born here on Earth. She took part in the famous mission of the Seeker of New Discoveries , which I don’t need to remind everyone is how we discovered we are not nearly as alone in the universe as we thought. Nor as unique. Our other guest is her loving husband, the father of her child, and the parana of her child, Dornodo of the Yonohoah. We’ll get more into what a parana is later in the talk. For now, let’s discuss Sarah’s journey for a minute. Sarah, how did you meet Dornodo?”

“That’s a complicated topic, to some degree, Susan. First of all, it’s necessary to point out that due to my exposure to the Tunnel Drive, I required medical treatment on planet Totola. I was at a level two treatment facility for several weeks while my condition was treated. When I agreed to experimental treatment, it was suggested that a Toormonda trip would help my recovery, so I was signed up for one of their experiences. Dornodo’s Toormonda was both conveniently timed for my recovery and he also came highly recommended in the industry.”

“Let’s go into a little more detail. The nature of the damage caused to humans by the tunnel drive is neurological, yes? What sort of symptoms did you have?”

Sarah, who had cleared this question, nodded and gathered herself for her response. “I developed a number of cognitive defects which went unnoticed until after my psychiatric symptoms began. I developed a number of those, including delusions, inappropriate social behaviors, and a lack of self control in general. Fortunately one member of my crew, Diego Cruz, noticed these symptoms and brought them to the attention of the command staff. When I was no longer able to manage my symptoms on my own, Anthony Anders, who was the XO of the mission at the time, took action to ensure that I received the care that I needed.”

“One of those delusions was that one of the other members of the crew was deeply in love with you and that you were going to be married when you returned to Earth, was it not?” Susan asked.

“Yes,” Sarah admitted. “It’s somewhat embarrassing to talk about, but at the time I believed that the connection that we had was real. It was entirely fabricated on my part, however. I spoke with the man and got his perspective on our relationship, and while it was humiliating, it helped me move past it.”

“Some of our viewers are going to wonder if you’ve truly recovered from your tunnel drive exposure, Sarah. If your love for Dornodo isn’t just another symptom. What do you say to that?”

‎ “I believe, and my doctors believe, that I am in the process of not only recovering from my disease, but am showing signs of growing beyond the person that I was before I even set foot on the Seeker. There will always be some lingering doubt about whether the beginning of my relationship with Dornodo might have been impacted by where I was in my recovery. However, unlike my relationship with the man whom I was infatuated with on the Seeker , Dornodo reciprocates my feelings. Isn’t that true, sweetie?”

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“I love her more than I love myself,” Dornodo said immediately. “It moved my heart that she allowed me to become the father of her first child, and that she is allowing me to be their parana is the most humbling experience I can think of. I look forward to nothing more than raising our children together and showing her that I am worthy of her affection.”

“We’ve used the term parana several times now. It’s a Yonohoan word and it’s a key difference in our societies which we should probably address for the audience. Sarah, Dornodo, would you each please tell us your understanding of what a parana is?” Susan asked.

“The literal translation is ‘male role model.’ It’s used for the mother’s partner in raising a child whether or not that partner is in a sexual relationship with the mother or not. Even their lesbian couples usually have a parana for the children that they raise.” Sarah explained. “The parana is not necessarily related to the child at all. While the biological father is expected to maintain some sort of relationship with their children if at all possible, the parana is their day to day parent.”

“Do their homosexual couples have the female equivalent of a role model for their children?” Susan inquired.

“The truth is that it’s very difficult for our gay men to get custody of a children. Not because of any concerns over abuse, but because few mothers in our society are willing to have a child without having the relationship with that child. The few exceptions to this rule are when the mother dies tragically when the child is young. Mostly, if a male couple wishes to have a role in the raising of a child, they both agree to become paranas for a mother with her own child. As Sarah said, their biological relationship to the child is not paramount,” Dornodo explained.

“Fascinating,” Susan said. “So in Yonohoan society, it would have been perfectly fine for Sarah to dump you immediately after you knocked her up and put out an ad for a parana on the internet?”

“Well, sort of. I would have been deeply embarrassed if she Tuunka Powan with me and then did not allow me to parana our child. But she would have been within her rights socially and legally to do so. I would have had to ‘just deal with it.’” Dornodo explained.

“It’s also worth pointing out that the Yonohoans don’t have life-long marriages like we do on Earth, Susan,” Sarah said. “Rather, they have monogamous relationships that last as long as either party wishes for them to last. However, if there is a child involved, the parana is expected to be the same man until the child is considered an adult, whether or not they are the father of the child. Even if the couple begins to hate each other, they’re expected to put that aside for the sake of the child.”

“Which I do not see happening for us,” Dornodo said, smiling. “But if it does, I vow that any differences between me and Sarah will not impact my role in regards to our child together.”

“It is normal for a mother and a parana to move into separate houses once the child leaves the house they grew up in. Or not. It depends on the couple,” Sarah explained.

“Simply fascinating,” Susan repeated. “There’s another Yonohoan term our audience hasn’t heard. Tuunka Powan. Can we get a definition please?”

“It literally means ‘unregistered baby making’” Sarah defined. “It’s not a crime though. It’s just … well it’s a little embarrassing to the parents. But they still view it as a happy thing. The teenagers on our Toormonda teased us for a few days but I never felt that they were shaming or shunning us.”

“It is embarrassing, but bringing any child into the world is a joyous thing,” Dornodo agreed. “I am very embarrassed that my friends back on planet Totola know that I could not resist myself around this beautiful Earth woman and Tuunka Powan with her. But that does not change the love that I have for her or my yet-to-be-born child.”

“Okay. If we spot any more alien terms we’ll be certain to ask. But we glossed over an important detail that many of our audience are desperately going to be wondering about. Sarah, you’re pregnant . How did this happen?” Susan asked eagerly.

“Well, Susan, you see, when a mother and a father love each other very much …” Sarah said jokingly. Susan laughed.

“You know what I mean!” their host exclaimed. “Your human and he’s Yonohoan! How is it possible?”

“Yonohoans are 99.7% identical on a genetic level to humans from Earth,” Sarah explained. For that matter, we’re 99.8% identical to the Acklatics and 99.9% identical to the Triumverant. I’m not certain how we stack up against the Rosanteans by our own measurements, but I’ll bet its above 99.5% for certain.”

“Speaking of how our men stack up against the aliens,” Susan said suggestively.

“I knew that was going to come up!” Sarah exclaimed. “He is perfectly adequate and I am quite satisfied and that’s all that I wish to say on the topic.”

“Only adequate?”

“ More than adequate. ” Sarah said emphatically. “Dornodo is a talented lover and I am quite satisfied by him.”

“Dornodo, how does Sarah stack up to a Yonohoan lover?” Susan inquired.

“If all Earth Women are as creative and skilled as she is, then us Yonohoan men will be extremely grateful that your people found us,” Dornodo said earnestly.

Susan laughed. “Okay okay, we’ve covered that topic fairly thoroughly and we might have kids watching so let’s not get too graphic. Let’s talk more about how your relationship started. Dornodo, you own a Toormonda ship, which you operate as a business. Tell us more.”

Dornodo smiled, and began discussing his business in earnest.

‎