3.15.

The people of the little town came out to see it. After all, it wasn’t every day that the private shuttle of an alien representative from another part of the galaxy landed on main street.

Tonom Genisi emerged after it had landed and began waving at the gathered crowd, blowing kisses and shouting “I love pancakes!” His security personnel rushed out after him and tried to secure the location. It didn’t matter much, this was a sleepy little town.

On the one hand, just about every family possessed at least one firearm.

On the other hand, they had found out when someone had already taken a pot-shot at the ambassador that he possessed a shield generator in his left shoe that was more than adequate to defend against sniper attacks.

But whether or not their charge was safe, they had a job to do, and they did it, pushing back the crowd behind a security line as they tried to get the scene in order.

While they were still attempting to assert control, Tonom got into Lisa Desmond’s car and they drove away.

They arrived at the home of the late Kirk Desmond soon after. The couple’s friends had reclaimed the man’s eighteen wheeler, which now sat parked on the street out front. Lisa patiently waited while the alien human examined the vehicle. He walked around it. He sniffed the tires, and the engines. He climbed up onto the hood and jumped up and down. He got into the cab and laid on the mattress on the back.

“Explain again why this vehicle exists,” Tonom said to Lisa once he had finished his inspection. “What is purpose?”

“We don’t have the technology to print food, or to build massive edifices overnight using nanites,” Lisa explained. “Not yet. Not with our own technology. Kirk’s job, before we got the spaceship, was to transport goods from place to place. He worked for a major retailer. Mostly he didn’t know what he was hauling, he just showed up and got his trailer hitched, then drove to the destination and got a new trailer.”

“He was migratory?”

“You can say that. He came back here for the weekends. That’s how we knew each other, I cut his hair, and we hit it off,” she explained. “We were dating for three years before he asked me to marry him. I didn’t know at the time that he’d won a spacecraft.”

“Yes yes, understand. You love him very much. Miss him very much,” Tonom said.

“Yes, I do. Other people say that he died a hero, that I should be proud. But if he were to come back to life right now I swear I’d punch him in the face for doing that to me,” she answered.

“Love is good. Loss is bad. I am sorry for your loss, but happy that you have known love. I hope that you find it again. I give you one hundred million Acklatic credits for vehicle. Embassy will arrange it to be transported to museum near imperial palace. Historic vehicle of Earth Hero worth at least that much.”

“What is the exchange rate between US dollars and Acklatic credits?” she asked.

Tonom simply shrugged. “Is good amount of currency in empire. Enough buy fifty ‘Winnebago’ star ships.”

Lisa was quiet for a minute, then nodded. “I’ll accept that. Kirk didn’t have any family. We have to wait for probate as well, but that will clear in a few months. I can sell you his truck.”

“Good good,” Tonom said. “Show me more? Property of Earth hero very valuable. I give you best price.”

Lisa nodded. If Kirk had still been alive, she would have been ecstatic at the option. The Winnebago class starship that Kirk had won had been valued at one hundred twenty million dollars in earth currency. If the offer from Tonom followed the same exchange rate, then she was now a billionaire.

But she didn’t care about the money. She cared about making Kirk’s death mean something. She cared about making the Rosanteans pay.

Money would help her do that.

They went through the house room by room. Tonom bought item after item for her at exorbitant rates. One million credits for his plastic plates and his silverware. Another million credits just for his razor. Ten thousand for each piece of his furniture. He bumped that up to half a million for the bed when she disclosed that it was there that they had first made love.

His wardrobe sold for one hundred thousand. His DVD collection and media center for just as much.

Tonom paused when they discovered a cardboard box filled with Playboys in his bedroom closet. Lisa chewed her lip, she hadn’t realized they had been there.

“For these, I give you this,” Tonom said. “Not money. These worth more than money. For this, you need connections. I have connections. I give you this for these.”

He held out his hand and the hologram of a spaceship appeared. It was sleek, and next to it was a Winnebago for scale. The offered ship was twenty times the size of the Winnebago.

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“Tell me about it? How fast does it go? What sort of weapons does it have.”

“No weapons. But good shields, and very fast. Second fastest model of spacecraft available anywhere in three nearest galaxy clusters,” Tonom answered. “There and back again very fast.”

She considered the offer. And she decided that she had to be honest. “Tonom, the truth is that I couldn’t get one hundred US dollars for those if I tried to sell them. Are you sure that you’re willing to part with something so valuable for them?”

“Yes,” Tonom said. “Worth at least that much. Personal property of ‘Captain’ Kirk, hero of Earth. Very very valuable something so private and personal. I promise discretion when I trade.”

“Thank you for your consideration. I will take the space ship in trade for his porno-mags,” she said.

“I will order when return to embassy. Take them with me?” Tonom asked.

“Yes. I’ll take your word for it that you’ll come through on your end of the bargain. I’m not sure how much there is left to show you of his things, Tonom, but you’re welcome to look around. Let me know if anything catches your eye,” she said.

“Yes yes,” he agreed.

“Also, Tonom, I have a question. I know that the Acklatic Empire will not go to war for us. But if I were to hire an army, where would I go?”

“Rosantea,” Tonom answered. “But since they are no, then Triumverant next best. Is where we find privateers. Triumverants make good privateers. Would say Yonohoah, but they no sell soldiers. They are best soldiers, but not for sale.”

“The Yonohoans are already at war. If I do nothing, would the Triumverant join us as well?”

“Triumverant will talk and talk and talk about helping. Put money in Triumverant hands, they do more than talk.”

“I understand. Thank you for your insight, Tomon Genisi. When our trades have finalized, I might just find myself in Triumverant space.”

~~~~~~

The radio signals were picked up and triangulated to three points outside of the solar system. The three points were approximately thirty light-seconds apart from each other. The transmission was in english, although the tone of the voices speaking made it clear that they were speaking with the Yonohoan provided translation matrix rather than attempting to speak it themselves.

Captain Anders listened to the incoming transmission, along with many other representatives of Earth, while he transmitted them to the higher-ups down on Earth to begin crafting a reply.

“Hello! I represent the Triumverant! We wish to begin establishing diplomatic relations! Are we permitted to enter your solar system and discuss matters with you further? We do possess a security detail which is in no way intended to be a threat to your self-defense force, it is merely to preserve our own safety and do not listen to those other bastards because I represent the primary!”

“Greetings people of Earth! Congratulations, you have been recognized by the true primary of the Triumverant! She wishes to establish diplomatic relations and do not listen to these other assholes! Do not worry about our self-defense forces, they will only fire if we are fired upon. Will you permit us entry?”

“Salutations! These other ignoramuses believe that they represent the true primary, but history will show that they are incorrect! They are correct in that the Triumverant wishes to discuss establishing diplomatic relations! Is it permissible to come inside your system with our honor guard?”

After the arrival of Tonom Genisi, the ESF had requested and received a briefing on the Triumverant and their predicted actions in regards to diplomacy. This was within the expectations of that briefing.

The Triumverant was led by three separate but equal heads of state. However, by tradition, it required two of its leaders to act together in order to set or change policy. Also by tradition, the Triumverants hated each other. Each head of state was expected to hate the others and compete over every decision. They were expected to hate each others fashion. Their families. Their pets, their mothers and fathers, their children.

If one of the Triumverant was caught saying something nice about the other two, it was a scandal.

It was the opinion of Eolai and the Yonohoans that this was a front, for their government was too effective to be otherwise. But it had been suggested to the leaders of Earth to help the representatives maintain the illusion.

Eolai had predicted that they would definitely send a delegation soon. He had also predicted that there would be not one diplomat, but three. His counsel had been proven correct, and so the ESF proceeded with the plan that it had developed based upon it.

“Greetings to the individual and collective representation of the Triumverants,” Captain Anders said, reading the speech which had been prepared for the occasion once his superiors had given him the go ahead to do so. “You are each and collectively invited to enter the star system of our sun. We invite you each to join us around the space station that is currently orbiting the fourth planet from the star, which we call Mars. If you consent, it is there that you and any staff assisting you will be screened for biological compatibility with our planet. If we determine that it is safe, you will each be given a plot of land to establish an embassy upon near the location of our UN building in New York. I regret to inform you that due to budget constraints, the three plots of land are adjacent to each other and collectively the same size as the Acklatic embassy. Welcome to Earth!”

The repeating messages of greeting continued until his speech reached them. One of the ships abruptly appeared in orbit around mars and began transmitting a message of “Hah! I got here first! Eat that suckers!”

A second ship appeared a moment later, followed by the third.

Which is how Uno, Dos, and Tres arrived in the system. They had other names, but they were virtually unpronounceable.

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